FARK.com: (3930343) Man claims that Zen and God made him open a bank account, and then Satan made him beat up two police officers and the bank manager

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(Joseph Smith)		Man claims that Zen and God made him open a bank account, and then Satan made him beat up two police officers and the bank manager (ksl.com)		31
		More: Strange

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strangeguitar		2008-10-08 11:48:34 PM

Doesn't sound like the Satan I know.
He's usually pretty cool.

HappyHarryHardOn		2008-10-08 11:50:27 PM

hate it when satan takes over my right hand and makes me do the five finger shuffle

persistant dude, that Satan. PLays guitar good

Heroic Poser		2008-10-08 11:59:17 PM

Charlie Crews thinks you need to study the Zen part more.

Donald_McRonald		2008-10-09 02:47:05 AM

What did Karma say he needed to do?

cretinbob		2008-10-09 02:48:15 AM

I guess that's the difference between Zen and Tao.

//wait, what?

hhooper		2008-10-09 02:50:17 AM

/ didn't take time to gima a missionary badge on this guy

Gyrfalcon		2008-10-09 02:54:35 AM

Makes sense to me. But then, so do the lyrics to "A Horse With No Name."

/obscure?

srtpointman		2008-10-09 02:55:17 AM

I just finished watching "Life" on Hulu, so I'm getting a kick out of Heroic Poser's reply.

/Very good show.
//Almost finished season 1
/Fresh fruit FTW!

Foaming		2008-10-09 02:55:58 AM

TFA Several people injured in bank melee in Ogden

Most of them the perpetrator.

Bonanza Jellybean		2008-10-09 02:57:57 AM

If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.

Vertdang		2008-10-09 03:04:19 AM

I always like how it's never "THEIR" actions. "X made me do it"

Yay personal responsibility.

Dr.DangerWW		2008-10-09 03:10:50 AM

Joseph Smith saw an angel...

koan		2008-10-09 03:16:06 AM

Bonanza Jellybean: If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him.

But if you think some strangers in a bank might be him, but you're not sure, just beat them up. Once you realize it wasn't the buddha, blame satan.

If you get in prison, shout "I'm being persecuted for my beliefs!".

Joker you diabolical...		2008-10-09 03:18:25 AM

If you find yourself on a cliffside, with God on the cliff above, and Satan on the ground below, and you spy a safety deposit box on a ledge beside you, open it, take out the pepper spray within, and give yourself a shot in the face with it.

Ezrax		2008-10-09 03:19:47 AM

But the voices in my head assure me I'm not crazy!

cantsleep		2008-10-09 03:21:13 AM

Gyrfalcon: Makes sense to me. But then, so do the lyrics to "A Horse With No Name."

/obscure?

You've got to be kidding.
The desert is an ocean..

Ishidan		2008-10-09 03:24:57 AM

So, what DO you get when you combine Zen and God?

Oh.

feelgood47		2008-10-09 03:30:22 AM

aHA! I knew it, they're all in league with each other...

Vertdang		2008-10-09 03:43:09 AM

Ishidan: So, what DO you get when you combine Zen and God?

[pic o' Zod]

Oh.

Better start kneeling.

Mudbox		2008-10-09 03:44:22 AM

what's a 1970's sci-fi tv series computer got to do with what this guy does with his spare time?

LegalizeThoughtCrime		2008-10-09 03:44:35 AM

it is things like this that give bank robbers a bad name.

Learned Louisianian		2008-10-09 06:15:01 AM

_.

.

/Double check to make sure he's still an atheist.
//Looks smug
///That is all.

_.

.

Z1P2		2008-10-09 06:37:52 AM

How laughable does your police force have to be to get beaten up by that douche? Gotta hand it to those cops for not tazing the devil out of him though.

"Don't taze me brothers in christ"

Jamieboy		2008-10-09 06:44:19 AM

shoes!

panzerfaustbob		2008-10-09 07:03:57 AM

Stligar knew that such thoughts come from the left hand of the damned, not the right hand of the blessed.

Mad-n-FL		2008-10-09 07:07:30 AM

"and then Satan made him beat up two police officers and the bank manager"

David Webb?

theorellior		2008-10-09 07:31:24 AM

So, who's this "Zen" guy who's giving out all these commands? I didn't know "Zen" was a deity. I guess that means I can start praying to the related gods "Episcopal" and "Sufi".

craigdamage		2008-10-09 08:10:58 AM

Strange.

People who said "God told me...." etc...etc... thousands of years ago were "prophets" and have entire chapters in the Bible named after them.

Now they are just crackpots.
I suppose God is funny that way,huh?

CaptainBeer		2008-10-09 10:02:03 AM

srtpointman:

I'm in love with his partner. She's so cute. Could she really make an intimidating police presence? Probably not. Bu tthis is TV, so who cares!

trappedspirit		2008-10-09 10:44:02 AM

On Tuesday, the man was trying to get money out of safety deposit box and then an account. Police said neither one existed.

The safety deposit box did not exist.

/koawned!

Man Going His Own Way		2008-10-09 03:53:33 PM

No no no! That only works for the women, damnit!

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