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(ALOD)   Teaching Children Jesus.   (teachingchildrenjesus.com) divider line 64
    More: Amusing  
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5028 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Dec 2002 at 12:18 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2002-12-28 12:20:48 PM
LAWL
 
2002-12-28 12:21:04 PM
jesus
 
2002-12-28 12:21:34 PM
Boy, I know I can't wait to see some of their games hit the shelves....
 
2002-12-28 12:25:31 PM
It begins.
 
2002-12-28 12:25:58 PM
That webdesign would make even the sweet baby Jesus cry.
 
2002-12-28 12:26:05 PM
And what have I learned from this page? That angels wear granny boots. Nifty.
 
lbn
2002-12-28 12:26:26 PM
it needs more explosions. or cowbell.
 
2002-12-28 12:27:12 PM
My husband left his work at Microsoft to fulfill Gods promise to him in game design.

What, like "thou shalt render thy splines eight cubits by eight cubits...?"

He is working to make the greatest games ever made for the Lord Jesus Christ.

Game 1: Christians vs. Lions
Game 2: Christians vs. Christians
Game 3: Christians vs. Saracens
Game 4: Christians vs. Christians part II
Game 5: Christians vs. Raelians
Game 6: Christians vs. Christians part III
 
2002-12-28 12:27:28 PM
Does Jesus forgive spawn-camping fagg0rz???
 
2002-12-28 12:28:24 PM
This is almost as good as The Truth For Youth!.
 
2002-12-28 12:28:28 PM
More of the super scary "get 'em young" brainwashing. That is if they can even get kids to play those games.
 
2002-12-28 12:28:53 PM
OrphanedWombat, I couldn't have said it better myself...thanks for the chuckle.
 
2002-12-28 12:30:24 PM
MMmmmm ... Jebus.
 
2002-12-28 12:30:41 PM
WWJP?
 
2002-12-28 12:31:24 PM
Oooooooooooooooh Myyyyyyyyyyyyyyy Goooooooooooooooood
 
2002-12-28 12:31:33 PM
I can't wait...
"Mighty Morphin Jesus"?
"The Lost ChristCommand"?
"Heaven's Vengance: SaviorArse"?
 
2002-12-28 12:33:07 PM
There's a game demo here.
 
2002-12-28 12:38:18 PM
Big Baby Jesus
 
2002-12-28 12:39:12 PM
Revelation 3:11 `I am coming quickly; hold fast what you have, in order that no one take your crown.

...but not so soon that you can't buy one of our games!
 
2002-12-28 12:40:14 PM
Creating another generation of mindless Christian robots.
 
2002-12-28 12:40:45 PM
Our plans are to make games competitive with the big game industry titles.

If they're competing for violence they should have it made-the Bible's one of the bloodiest stories ever published.
 
2002-12-28 12:40:58 PM
Holy unplayable...
 
2002-12-28 12:41:06 PM
"Sim Jesus-House Party".
 
2002-12-28 12:41:57 PM
Jesus Christ is an idol. The King is the one true God. Read more.
 
2002-12-28 12:45:18 PM
Kind of a blatant steal from SA. Should've at least given 'em credit. Ghey.
 
2002-12-28 12:49:46 PM
My husband left his work at Microsoft to fulfill Gods promise to him in game design.

I thought it was a mortal sin to worship more than one god...?
 
2002-12-28 12:53:55 PM
 
2002-12-28 12:54:51 PM
Have you tried the demo?
I keep expecting Nazis and german sheppards to attack me.
 
2002-12-28 01:00:43 PM
Me too Ronaski, i thought it was wolfenstein.
 
2002-12-28 01:00:50 PM
Thats fine for sheep, but what about us ?
 
2002-12-28 01:15:42 PM
Believing in fairy tales is one thing. Letting them run your life is another.
Get on your knees and beg Bill for your old job.
BILL GATES THE ONE TRUE GOD!
 
2002-12-28 01:18:02 PM
I'm suprised God hasn't taught them how to design websites that don't look like shiat. Or how to use proper grammar.
 
2002-12-28 01:20:21 PM
It's kind of ironic that the "Evangelize" button on the demo doesn't work.
 
2002-12-28 01:26:20 PM
Well let us not forget a all time favorite.
Jack Chick
Now this should be a video game.
 
2002-12-28 01:27:22 PM
Serving more than one god is different from worshipping...

"mommy! the scary jesus man was gonna get me!"

That'll teach the little bastards alright.
 
2002-12-28 01:41:05 PM
If they design websites like that, I couldn't see their games looking much better than Pong.
 
2002-12-28 01:59:51 PM
i hear they're making a neverwinter nights expansion called The Crusades I-VIII...actually, that would be kinda k3wl... :-p
 
2002-12-28 02:07:01 PM
"You are hiding in a closet during the Last Supper. Can you sneak in without being seen and steal the money from Judas's pocket and warn Jesus of his coming death?"

accept
abort

(accept)

"You have not succeeded in your mission! Jesus will now be nailed to the cross because of your failures!"

Try again
Quit Game
Pause for prayer
 
2002-12-28 02:16:53 PM
"We will be snatching GOD'S children from the fire!"

Boy, won't He be pissed. I mean, He put them there, didn't He?
 
2002-12-28 02:25:02 PM
So...hypothetical situation:

This game comes out, and does as expected by anyone with common sense. I'm reminded of the game from this Fark link, and decide to rip it off of Kazaa (for all intensitive purposes, the game is on there). I play the game, and because of it, accept Jesus as my lord and savior.

Would this guy be mad that I stole the game, or happy that I "found" Jesus?
 
2002-12-28 02:35:00 PM
 
2002-12-28 02:38:30 PM
Maybe now Ned will buy Rod and Todd that X-box they've been clamoring for.
 
2002-12-28 02:59:47 PM
We need to be careful HOW we teach our children about the Lord, you know...

(http://www.capalert.com/capreports/jesusvideo.htm)
 
2002-12-28 03:05:29 PM
That was gay.
 
2002-12-28 03:06:07 PM
My brother knows how to teach kids religion. When he found out that his ex wouldn't let their daughter participate in the "satanic ritual" of Halloween, he sent home his little four year old, who excitedly told mommy that she had just learned about the Holy Trilogy ("No, honey, that's Holy Trinity, but go on) - The Father, The Son, and Space Ghost!

I couldn't breathe I was laughing so hard . . .
 
2002-12-28 03:12:52 PM
*laughing ass off about the holy trilogy*
 
2002-12-28 03:37:22 PM
That is the worst website design I have ever seen. 12 year old Pagebuilders make better Christina Agorilla sites on the Geocities.

"We are soon going to launch our new business. Actually I should say, God is birthing the business!"

God: "I ain't know nothin' 'bout birthin' no biz'nasses!"
 
2002-12-28 03:40:28 PM
Your own, personal, Jesus
Someone to be in your prayers, someone who cares...
 
2002-12-28 03:49:09 PM
That picture on the main page promotes violance against dragons.

*founds FSPCD: Fark Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Dragons*
 
2002-12-28 04:08:20 PM
Holy freakin' crap.

This webpage has me closer to becoming an atheist than anything else in the world.
 
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