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(Davezilla)   "I got confuse on my Lingam": Sex Q & A in beautiful Engrish   (hindimatrimony.com) divider line 196
    More: Amusing  
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11560 clicks; posted to Main » on 27 Dec 2002 at 6:29 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



196 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2002-12-27 06:32:24 PM  
"think I'm loosing interest in sex, pl. suggest me to satisfy my hubby & I should be tempted a lot"

best line EVER
 
2002-12-27 06:33:47 PM  
wtf?
 
2002-12-27 06:34:36 PM  
"I have one ball"


best line EVER....uhhmmmm
 
2002-12-27 06:34:46 PM  
I got nothing...
 
2002-12-27 06:37:24 PM  
Man, I hope I never *loose* interest in sex.
 
2002-12-27 06:41:34 PM  
bleh
 
2002-12-27 06:42:12 PM  
"After borning my first child, my wife's vegina is so loose. I am not satisfied with her tightness. How I satisfy with tight.

Answer

"Hegels Exercise" may be helpful. If your wife learns and do the exercise vagina will become tight."


Best question/answer ever.
 
2002-12-27 06:42:27 PM  
"I have one ball. There is any problem in sex in future life ?"

In a future life, hopefully you'll have two balls
 
2002-12-27 06:44:39 PM  
"I can not sustain erection, in fact, I don't get a hard penis, or erected penis, it does get bigger when I masturbate and it does spit sperms at the end, but I know the PENIS is NOT ERECTED, not hard, it is just 6 inch penis hanging in there!"

near funny as be www.engrish.com
 
2002-12-27 06:45:47 PM  
Best link I've seen in a long time.
 
2002-12-27 06:46:00 PM  
"Doctor i too mastrubate for nerely 15 years. I completely find change in my pennies, slowly slowly errection, is comming down, time of stiffness is comming down,after urni i find my sperms leaking out,my fore skin is complegtely out ,its not going back the but while errection,finally the quantity and thickness of the semen came down completely,so to have self test,for the past 6 months i stopped mastrubation,i was smoking for the past 4 years,that too i stopped,and then recently i mastrubated to test myself,i almost went to sucide myself. Is it not due to mastrubation?"

Beautiful.
 
2002-12-27 06:46:18 PM  
This is advice?

He answered every other question with, "uh, I don't know. See a real doctor."

Sexually repressed though we may be, at least we of Western society KNOW A DAMNED THING OR TWO ABOUT THE ACTUAL ACT.
 
2002-12-27 06:46:56 PM  
"You can have sex for hours without ejaculation. You need proper treatment under sexologist."

Really??!! Sexologist can do that? Without cutting anything?

Anybody knows any good sexologist?
 
2002-12-27 06:49:39 PM  
suddenly my asian chick fetish is fading
 
Jei
2002-12-27 06:50:09 PM  
Hahahahahahahaha!

That's gotta be one of the funniest things ever.
 
2002-12-27 06:50:50 PM  
My wife complains that she is not satisfied due to the shorter size of my organ. It is 1.5" while flacid and in erected condition it is 3". Do you think is it sufficient for the total satisfaction during the intercourse? What is the normal size of male organ?

Answer

This is enough to satisfy your wife.



WTF???????
That poor woman!
 
2002-12-27 06:51:31 PM  
"...But after my goodnight sleep my penies is stone hard..."

funniest way of saying "i have morning wood".
 
2002-12-27 06:51:34 PM  
Oh man... this link is comedy genius. This is the funniest thing I've ever read on Fark.

"I have one ball." LMFAO.
 
2002-12-27 06:51:39 PM  
And why did only part of that comment get italisized(I know, not spelled correctly)?
 
2002-12-27 06:52:05 PM  
"Also he feels pain in the testicals even for a small hit."

Is there such a thing as a "SMALL" hit to the groin?
 
2002-12-27 06:52:22 PM  
Kosmonaught

Why would your attraction to Asian women be fading? The people in that article are Hindi.
 
2002-12-27 06:54:12 PM  
Funniest.Page.Ever.
 
2002-12-27 06:54:26 PM  


"my early life is rather inconsequential. my mother was a 13 year old hooker, with webbed feet."
 
2002-12-27 06:55:33 PM  
"My wife complains that she is not satisfied due to the shorter size of my organ. It is 1.5" while flacid and in erected condition it is 3". Do you think is it sufficient for the total satisfaction during the intercourse?..."

DAMN!!! If my hubby had a 3 incher...I'd complain too. But, it is not the size that counts but how you use it. But this guy does not know how to use it! Feel very bad for his wife.
 
2002-12-27 06:57:10 PM  
"in erected condition it is 3in"

that is horrible

/cries for the wife
 
2002-12-27 06:57:11 PM  
CovetousJOO

try 15 year old sex slave from belgium, with webbed feet.
 
2002-12-27 06:58:14 PM  
Holy crap there's loads of this stuff; this is just one page of many. Looks like I'll be busy reading these for a while. LOL
The others
 
2002-12-27 06:58:15 PM  
Wow, it's just like being on DALnet.
 
2002-12-27 06:58:27 PM  
thank you i was quoting from a bad memory;)
 
2002-12-27 07:00:28 PM  
I got confuse on my Lingam"


Lingam -- first Letter L. What looks like an "L"?


Yoni -- first Letter Y. What looks like a "Y"?

 
2002-12-27 07:02:23 PM  
"I am a 30yrs unmarried man living in U.A.E. Last five six years I lead some bad things also ie I am intercourse with some prostitute in here. Now I have some diesese in my pennies."

nuff said
 
2002-12-27 07:03:04 PM  
 
2002-12-27 07:03:39 PM  
Oh, and also, I really suck at the html.
 
2002-12-27 07:04:11 PM  
Why would your attraction to Asian women be fading? The people in that article are Hindi.

Weeeellll.... technically, indian/hindi is asian. Go watch Splitting Heirs (old movie with Eric Idle) if you don't believe me.
 
2002-12-27 07:04:20 PM  
Vergin...? Isn't that a drink with vermouth and gin.


Hi, I'd like to have a Vergin on the rocks, thanks.
 
2002-12-27 07:04:45 PM  
"Dear Dr.
i got married 11 yrs back and i have 2 kids also. There is no problem in intercourse. But during intercourse, i never feel that my hus semen comes inside and i do not have much satisfaction also. Moreover my hus compel me to suck his penni. But i dont like the smell. some times if it comes in mouth, is it good or bad for health.

Answer

You cannot feel the semen entering inside the vagina feeling. Ask your husband to wash the penis before oral sex. No harm in oral sex and semen ejaculated inside the mouth."



OMG
/ pukes
 
2002-12-27 07:04:59 PM  
as much as we can make fun of the language, the advice was pretty damn good. none of the shame that's often projected around sex and masturbation.

mad props to the advice columnist.
 
2002-12-27 07:06:17 PM  
CovetousJOO.... I take it you don't like the bukkake much? :)
 
2002-12-27 07:06:18 PM  
"Hey Doc. Thx for helping out people with there questions. I have a question also. What would be good average interval between two erections ?! I am asking this question for a person who is in my age group 24-28. Will the quantity of semen become lower if the time gap between to ejaculation is less? Is that natural? What is a good time gap between two intercourses?

Answer

If you are watching a porno film the second erection immediately. With your wife it will take 30 Mts."
 
2002-12-27 07:06:45 PM  
"My sex desire is very high. Can I do fingering? Is it bad?"

reading make my pennies stone hard
 
2002-12-27 07:07:31 PM  
It erects, but I don't feel that much power


says it all
 
2002-12-27 07:07:42 PM  
Date: Mon, 13 Nov 2000 05:22:34 -0600
Name: sabari Age: 29 Gender: M Place: uvhosgjiof
Question:7
How to have sex

Answer

Take a tour on your wife's body.
Kiss her spending time on her lips
Make love all day.
Treat sex like a business.

1. How do you find out what a customer wants? Ask
2. How to keep your customer happy? Give her what she needs
3. How to avoid comptetion?
Keep your 'product' new and exciting.
 
2002-12-27 07:07:44 PM  
AnnieSavoy: Why would your attraction to Asian women be fading? The people in that article are Hindi.

Which means they're from India, which is in...?
 
2002-12-27 07:09:53 PM  
Gawd these guys masterbate a lot. WTF? Do all of these indian dudez like to wait until they're like 30 to get laid?
 
2002-12-27 07:13:18 PM  
"My pennies have some pumpiles"


"Why I am crazy for sex. I like to see naked women. I look at naked photos and masturbate Cant I control this? Daily I masturbate in the night will this affect my health. I feel like having sex daily. What is wrong with me? Please advice me. Thanks"

^ i wonder which farker that is ;)

"Dear Sir h r u thanks for operation when my penas dainson that time balls come pain "

"I have plans of marrying a relative of mine ( she is the grand daughter of my father's eldest brother and my father and his brother share the same father but different mothers ). Will this marriage have an impact on our kid as she is a blood relative to me?"
 
2002-12-27 07:15:12 PM  
"I farked one girl past one week back. She is working with me. But now a days I felt itching and pain is there? What to do? Kindly give me a some good medicine name? Otherwise can I fark the same lady one more time?"

HAHAHAHAHAHA
 
2002-12-27 07:16:51 PM  
"Question: 14

After borning my first child, my wife's vegina is so loose. I am not satisfied with her tightness. How I satisfy with tight."

Sheesh, she just gave birth to an 8lb baby...whaddya expect, asshole?
 
2002-12-27 07:18:17 PM  
"I m still bachelor Every day I shaggy twice a day Is there is any problem for me in future & what to do for leaving this habits let me know sir"
 
2002-12-27 07:19:49 PM  
Oh God was this funny.
 
2002-12-27 07:20:16 PM  
some of these guys left their email - would it be "wrong" to post them?
 
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