FARK.com: (3906339) Well, at least she bought some bath salts before playing "burn the witch" in the new age shop

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(Some Newt)		Well, at least she bought some bath salts before playing "burn the witch" in the new age shop (wsiltv.com)		34
		More: Weird

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8500 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 Sep 2008 at 10:39 AM | Favorite | share:

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abb3w		2008-09-29 08:56:16 AM

So... what are the odds this pyro is not a Christian-flavored whacko?

ThatGuyGreg		2008-09-29 09:10:34 AM

abb3w: So... what are the odds this pyro is not a Christian-flavored whacko?

0:brazillion

DaCricket		2008-09-29 09:27:34 AM

Payne says, during the ordeal, the woman never explained why she was being targeted.

"She had no emotion, no emotional change, whatsoever. At no point did she scream, she was extremely calm, I mean, it was as if she was making a cup of soup."

Okay, that's more than a little on the creepy side.

shivashakti		2008-09-29 09:30:33 AM

"She had no emotion, no emotional change, whatsoever. At no point did she scream, she was extremely calm, I mean, it was as if she was making a cup of soup."

I'm willing to bet it wasn't "Giggle Noodle".

necropoultryac		2008-09-29 10:44:02 AM

When nutcases collide.

draaga		2008-09-29 10:46:54 AM

Maybe she was trying to burn away some excess poundage from the proprietor?

FrizzleFry		2008-09-29 10:50:38 AM

/calling bullshiat on this whole thing
//bets we see a 'followup' tag saying it never happened

nobodys_goose		2008-09-29 10:52:40 AM

"Hold still, it doesn't hurt"
"LIKE HELL IT WON'T!"

"Damnit, I just bought 'May-pole Bath Salts'. You should at least have the decency to let me burninate you."
"Over your dead Jesus!"

"Oh, now see? That just hurts. That really, really hurts. But my matches aren't working."
"It's a sign from your God!"

You know, this all has the feeling of a "Lenore: The Cutest Little Dead Girl" story....

Inihilus		2008-09-29 10:54:04 AM

Carbondale?

Heh...carbon....like the burning....

/tumbleweed

discost00		2008-09-29 10:56:02 AM

shivashakti: "She had no emotion, no emotional change, whatsoever. At no point did she scream, she was extremely calm, I mean, it was as if she was making a cup of soup."

I'm willing to bet it wasn't "Giggle Noodle".

Niggle Goodle?

TheOtherOne79		2008-09-29 10:59:16 AM

FrizzleFry: /calling bullshiat on this whole thing
//bets we see a 'followup' tag saying it never happened

But did she fake it for the free advertising or purely for the attention.

/fatties need love too

seanmur		2008-09-29 11:03:22 AM

She turned me into a newt.
/got better

loki see loki do		2008-09-29 11:04:16 AM

Be still so I can set you on fire!

lulz.

IceTitan		2008-09-29 11:05:31 AM

Line on the left?
One cross each?

Hollis the Utile		2008-09-29 11:06:47 AM

Wanted for questioning

chewy milk		2008-09-29 11:14:39 AM

I came to post a video of QotSA and see that I was beaten to the reference.

/cheers!
//Burn the Witch

ULTRON 5		2008-09-29 11:25:12 AM

ThatGuyGreg: abb3w: So... what are the odds this pyro is not a Christian-flavored whacko?

0:brazillion

Could have been a disgruntled wiccan aka crazy cat lady.

feta		2008-09-29 11:26:47 AM

*sigh*

One of the few guys who manage to be ginger, hot & pretty fecking Rock N Roll.

My first ginger love since Ricky Warwick in his days with Almighty!!

FarkOffAndEatShirts		2008-09-29 11:36:51 AM

Must be a friend of Sarah's...

lilbjorn		2008-09-29 11:42:33 AM

No doubt Homeland Security will be immediately deployed to track down the perpetrator of this act of domestic terrorism.

Senator_Cockulus		2008-09-29 12:05:16 PM

lilbjorn: No doubt Homeland Security will be immediately deployed to track down the perpetrator of this act of domestic terrorism.

Don't be silly, Christians cannot be terrorists...only those dirty towel-head A-rabs.

/sarcasm

jayessell		2008-09-29 12:26:00 PM

For you British Farkers:

In the United Kingdom, the fuel known elsewhere as kerosene is called paraffin, and the solid forms of paraffin are called paraffin wax.

(Thanks Websters!)

[Two great nations seperated by a common language.)

Bizarre Gardening Accident		2008-09-29 12:27:49 PM

Must have been wearing white after labor day.

3steps		2008-09-29 12:28:04 PM

From TFA While Payne admits she was shaken by the attack, she says, she has no intention of closing her store.

"Absolutely not. As a matter of fact, we're gonna expand. This is a place of love and peace and cultural diversity, and I want it to reflect the community and the university, and there is nothing gonna stop me from doing that."

Ok.. I can understand you all going with the Christian Terrorist thing.. after all this is Fark.

But the first thing I thought of... FREE PUBLICITY... we're gonna expand! Like the black Professor hanging the noose on her own door.

But I'm a cynic.

EMCGuy		2008-09-29 12:31:47 PM

WTF does "uni-faith" mean. I know those words, but that combination doesn't make sense.

Magorn		2008-09-29 12:36:47 PM

FrizzleFry: /calling bullshiat on this whole thing
//bets we see a 'followup' tag saying it never happened

Nope, if it were made up it would have a lot more lurid detail, and the attacker would be screaming anti-pagan epithets not being flat-affect calm. Maybe British new age shops are different from US ones, but every one I've ever been in has a fairly extensive collection of swords and daggers behind the counter, and I a little suprised the attacker didn't find herself decapitated faster than you can say "Odin, god of the gallows, I dedicate this death to your glory"

/not a pagan
//Really like American Gods though

rummhumm		2008-09-29 01:03:12 PM

Hollis the Utile: Wanted for questioning

nice... QOTSA FTW!!!

jbspine		2008-09-29 01:08:37 PM

Woot! Finally a local story!!
Sad!! Finally a local story!!

She asked the lady to hold still so she could set her on fire.
www.ci.carbondale.il.us

Dead-Guy		2008-09-29 01:35:10 PM

Did she set-up a scrying pool, and show the police where she was?

No?

Ooh she set a demon after her herself.. I wonder which one?

So her business sucks, and she was going to dowse herself in kerosene when suddenly someone came-in and interupted her.
Customer: "wow.. what is that smell?!"

Owner:" uhh.. you just missed it! "

She wouldn't have made it a blabbering christian, because she'd know it would lose it's effect.

JesterGirl		2008-09-29 02:38:17 PM

Burn, Baby, Burn

dewihafta		2008-09-29 05:27:28 PM

WTF does "uni-faith" mean. I know those words, but that combination doesn't make sense.

It means "anything but Christianity."

abb3w		2008-09-29 11:08:27 PM

ULTRON 5: Could have been a disgruntled wiccan aka crazy cat lady.

No; it was kerosene, not Sterno.

elvedhel		2008-09-30 08:52:44 AM

BURNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN HER

Moonfisher		2008-09-30 10:15:23 AM

Magorn: FrizzleFry: /calling bullshiat on this whole thing
//bets we see a 'followup' tag saying it never happened

Nope, if it were made up it would have a lot more lurid detail, and the attacker would be screaming anti-pagan epithets not being flat-affect calm. Maybe British new age shops are different from US ones, but every one I've ever been in has a fairly extensive collection of swords and daggers behind the counter, and I a little suprised the attacker didn't find herself decapitated faster than you can say "Odin, god of the gallows, I dedicate this death to your glory"

/not a pagan
//Really like American Gods though

A decapitated Christian terrorist being dedicated to Odin, god of the gallows, would have made my farking year.

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