Ablejack: MDI_BugMan:
... when I'm barrelling down the 2.25 mile long hill on my commute, doing 48 - 52 mph on my bicycle...

that's fast dude. anything over forty and I'm tapping the brakes, then again, any downhill that gets me that quick has been on a loaded tour (panniers, handlebar and saddlebag) and an unfamiliar route.

I don't start getting creeped out until I hit 50mph. I have decided that for every 1mph over 50 that I go, it gets logarithmically more scary, though. I topped out at 54.6mph this summer, and I don't plan on trying to break that record.

I remember a couple of bicyclists who were riding in a rural area one Sunday morning when some hungover farmer in a pickup truck tried to run them off the road.

Just ahead was a stop sign, and the farmer stopped. Not a good idea, because the two bicyclists were Kenpo Karate black belts. One, who was a third degree black belt, jumped off his bike, ran up to the driver's side of the truck, and used the driver's head like a light boxing bag. He later noted that the farmer's wife, sitting next to him, sat perfectly still and just looked straight ahead.

No punchline, but the moral of the story is, even when hungover, don't be a dork, or you might make your hangover a lot worse.

Ablejack: Cosmic Crab: When driving, this is the one that bugs me the most:

I hate the jackasses who slide by on the right, zipping across the sidewalk and any pedestrians in the way, who must think they're invulnerable. (And yet, a light honk seems to send them into a frenzy. Go figure!)

The diagram is fine if you are behind the car. If a car cuts you off while turning right, (it happens) you're lucky to be able to get onto the sidewalk.

Nah. The jackasses do it when I'm stopped with a turn signal, partially turned, waiting for pedestrians to clear. They seem to think that if they illegally pass on the right they suddenly acquire the same right of way as pedestrians crossing the road. Nope.

There's no such thing as World Naked Car Ride Day.

staplermofo: Canadian Canuck: /what?

In America, city money comes from the people within the city.
Ergo, if they city paid for more bike lanes, I would, indirectly, be paying to help bicyclists -- in clown suits mind you -- be on the streets of my fair city. I refuse to be a part of that.

YEAH, I SAID "ERGO" LIKE A MOFOING SOPHIST AND USED A SHIAT TON OF COMMAS!

I don't understand the mindset that says it's ok to levy taxes, use federal income tax dollars, and all the other stuff, thus taking money from non-drivers to pay for roads... yet it would be nothing short of an abomination to also use those same tax dollars towards proportionally funding adequate paths for non-drivers.

Used to ride a bike around Germany when I was stationed there. You obey the laws there or get hit by a high speed Mercedes. Also you dont hold up traffic on a bike, slower traffic to the right, that means you Lance.

I did get busted for 42mph in a 25mph zone, First Shirt laughed when he found out it was a bicycle.

Riding on Charleston AFB headed home after the gym (for 26 minutes)I looked behind me and there was nobody for two blocks. I signaled a left turn half a block later, turned and got whacked by a bright yellow Geo Storm doin about 50 in a 25 because her husband was late for his flight brief. Still feel that one when it gets cold.

That being said, I cant understand why jackasses feel the need to take up two entire lanes of traffic where the speed limit is over 30, very few people can sustain 40mph on level ground. Certainly not most I have seen riding around here all summer. There is a difference between having a right to be there and being a complete dickhead about it. Sure you have a right to free speech, but in a crowded movie theater you dont need to yell about how Peta is awesome and we are all murderers because we eat meat.

The spandex shiat is just funny, no way in hell would I have ever been caught in public wearing that stuff. Its like wearing my nomex required by the drag car when I am headed to the grocery store. Shall I wear the helmet and arm restraints as well?

Ablejack: Cosmic Crab: When driving, this is the one that bugs me the most:

I hate the jackasses who slide by on the right, zipping across the sidewalk and any pedestrians in the way, who must think they're invulnerable. (And yet, a light honk seems to send them into a frenzy. Go figure!)

The diagram is fine if you are behind the car. If a car cuts you off while turning right, (it happens) you're lucky to be able to get onto the sidewalk.


Happened to me while riding home from work. I was on the shoulder moving fairly quick (downhill) when a car comes from behind and cuts me off. Lucky for me, the fine city of Auburn, NY has planned the storm drain right there to have nice wide gaps between the bars that happen to run parallel to the direction of my wheel. I swerve, tire gets stuck, I fly over the bars. Helmet actually smacks against the fender of the car and I land very hard on my left shoulder.

Sore neck, shattered helmet, and 2 months later I'm still digging gravel out of my shoulder.

/Bastards in the car didn't even stop or slow down

Some people are douchebags. Douchebags often drive vehicles and will exhibit their douchebag tendancies while driving. Some of these vehicles have four wheels, some of these vehicles have two wheels. To say all people who drive four or two wheel vehicles are douchebags would be grossly inaccurate at best and downright dishonest at worst.

THIS!
How completely reasonable & unfark like!

GeekTheMighty: MajorityWhip:BS. It's vital that the cyclist stay ahead of traffic, even if that means slowly passing through an empty intersection. We can't kill you if we hit your car. This is the same reason why motorcycles are louder than cars.

... what? Motorcycles are louder then cars because people want loud motorcycles, the laws let them be loud, and they have smaller exhaust systems then cars. Also, they typically have at most 4 cylinders, and many of them have less, leading to a more 'rumbly' exhaust note that is more noticeable then the hum of a heavily muffled low-revving 4-cyl car engine. any attempt to link motorcycle exhaust noise with noticability as a safety feature is pure, total bs.

/driver, racer, motorcyclist, bicyclist idjit

FTFY

Loud pipes DO save lives. More than once that's been how I haven't gotten smooshed is cuz they could hear me coming.

I came here for the "Not This Shiat Again" guy.
/leaves disappointed
//cycle rider

for those of you biatching about spandex:
THEY HAVE PADDING. FOR YOUR BALLS. THAT HELPS
I do wear shorts over them, though.

Cycling has made me a better, more attentive driver.

Katastrfee

Holy shiat, I didn't realize that was you until I read "Auburn, NY." I'm glad you're alive!

Welcome to your regularly scheduled Fark bike hate thread. Sorry I missed you when I was home.

/come visit your sister.

All of these douchebags are living vicariously through Lance Armstrong. They should ALL be run over, period. But now that Lance has beed denied re-entry to the Tour De France because of doping rules, what the hell will they all do now?? Trade their Huffy's in for crack? We can all hope so, and drive much more peacfully, knowing that they're busy scoring their next hit. There's always a happy ending. :)

I drive my car in the bike lane.

It's retrofitted with a cowcatcher.

Is it THAT HARD, people!

Yawn.

Fat autoholics aren't actually human. They're just cranky, obese, pathetically dumb techno-mollusks who get irate when they have to set down their Big Gulp, or pry a cell phone from their ear, or actually use a hip muscle to move foot from accelerator to brake pedal. Gasp! How inconvenient!

Homo krispy kremis; they're what some humans have devolved to.
Unfortunately most are so idiotically impatient they think vehicular homicide is justified any time someone briefly impedes their crosstown run for super-sized fries.

Sounds like Chattanooga is full of them.

/It's called exercise.
//Lack of it is why you're so fat, stupid and angry "Resident Vampire."

One world two wheels.

whammer: I remember a couple of bicyclists who were riding in a rural area one Sunday morning when some hungover farmer in a pickup truck tried to run them off the road.

Just ahead was a stop sign, and the farmer stopped. Not a good idea, because the two bicyclists were Kenpo Karate black belts. One, who was a third degree black belt, jumped off his bike, ran up to the driver's side of the truck, and used the driver's head like a light boxing bag. He later noted that the farmer's wife, sitting next to him, sat perfectly still and just looked straight ahead.

No punchline, but the moral of the story is, even when hungover, don't be a dork, or you might make your hangover a lot worse.

So you have your own version of "internet tough guy" stories that you translate into real life?

CasperImproved: The sad thing is that you are being earnest in your opinions. The bad thing is that you practice what you are indicated by your opinions, and not following the laws. Going through a stop sign, a four way stop, or a regular stop sign is a moving violation for *ANY* vehicle sharing the road in any state.

Not to mention, why if I just spent two minutes behind you in a car waiting to pass you in a safe spot, would I want to start over again just because you believe it's not necessary to stop at a stop sign? That is just plain rude.

Actually, if there are cars lined up at stop sign, I get in line unless there is enough of a bike lane for me to move independently to the right of them.

If I am at the front at a stop light, and the road after the light gets narrow, I will let the cars go by me first before taking off so they don't have to go around me.

If there is a car coming the other way at a stop sign, I stop, because I can't be sure they aren't turning.



My policy is to be courteous, visible, predictable, and never take the right of way from anyone.

My policy does not include sitting at stop lights for eternity because I don't trigger the switch, nor to stop and put my foot down at empty stop sign intersections. Nor, for that matter, to blow through at top speed. I slow, I look multiple times in all directions, and I proceed through.


Of course I know that rolling through a stop sign is technically illegal. I'm not even arguing it shouldn't be because people can be stupid. I'm saying if you ever saw me ride you'd say I was extremely safe and risk averse.

bikerific: CasperImproved: The sad thing is that you are being earnest in your opinions. The bad thing is that you practice what you are indicated by your opinions, and not following the laws. Going through a stop sign, a four way stop, or a regular stop sign is a moving violation for *ANY* vehicle sharing the road in any state.

Not to mention, why if I just spent two minutes behind you in a car waiting to pass you in a safe spot, would I want to start over again just because you believe it's not necessary to stop at a stop sign? That is just plain rude.

Actually, if there are cars lined up at stop sign, I get in line unless there is enough of a bike lane for me to move independently to the right of them.

If I am at the front at a stop light, and the road after the light gets narrow, I will let the cars go by me first before taking off so they don't have to go around me.

If there is a car coming the other way at a stop sign, I stop, because I can't be sure they aren't turning.

I agree in your last example. I don't trust anyone driving on the road except me. That has kept me out of all major accidents.

My policy is to be courteous, visible, predictable, and never take the right of way from anyone.

My policy does not include sitting at stop lights for eternity because I don't trigger the switch, nor to stop and put my foot down at empty stop sign intersections. Nor, for that matter, to blow through at top speed. I slow, I look multiple times in all directions, and I proceed through.


Of course I know that rolling through a stop sign is technically illegal. I'm not even arguing it shouldn't be because people can be stupid. I'm saying if you ever saw me ride you'd say I was extremely safe and risk averse.

I think we understand each other here. I have zero issue with you gliding up (past a number of cars) on the right, as long as you come to a complete stop, and then proceed as the law dictates.

I separate with you when you say you are a defensive driver. If you were, you'd be obeying the law.

I am a defensive driver. I may drive five over in a motor vesicle, but I constantly scan the mirrors, and I stay far enough behind anyone in front to know I will not be in an accident.

In 48 years of life, I have been in two auto accidents. One motorcycle accident, and zero bike accidents.

The auto accidents included one mechanical (master brake cylinder failed), and the other I T-boned a car coming out of a parking lot that didn't look. Both not my fault. The motorcycle accident was driving late at night, and a pack of dogs came out from under a guard rail in front of me while I was doing around 45mph.

I've driven a number of different vehicles to include 18 wheelers with 75 ft trailers in Europe in small communities on cobblestone roads.

The only reason why I have never had a bad accident that was chargeable to me is that I practice defensive driving every day, and I fallow the laws. Once I even managed to avoid a major accident where someone was going to rear-end me at a red light, is that I saw their approach, and turned right quickly.

I did want to reply because I respected your response.

BTW, technically breaking the law will get you just as dead, or gain you just as expensive a ticket as having done it non-technically. Dead is dead, and money out of the wallet is lost money.

Inibrius: Loud pipes safe motorcycling habits DO save lives. More than once that's been how I haven't gotten smooshed is cuz they could hear me coming.

FIFY

Eh? I've ridden bikes and motorcycles and cars for years and years, never once have I encountered any attitude other than:

Let's stay out of each other's way.

LegacyDL: LANCE ARMSTRONG!!


THANK YOU!!!!! I LOL'd big time. Great movie.

CasperImproved: BTW, technically breaking the law will get you just as dead, or gain you just as expensive a ticket as having done it non-technically.

Thanks for your response, but I still disagree with this part.

A technical violation of the law will not get me dead. Going through a red light because my bike is too light to trip the sensor will not get me dead. Coasting my bike through an empty intersection with good visibility will not get me dead. For that matter, going 1mph over the speed limit in my car will not get me dead.


Defensive driving is not following every regulation. In fact, I think the worst drivers are those who cling to legality as the definition of safe. Defensive driving is tracking all possible hazards and having escape routes available.

Getting to school and work efficiently requires driving an efficient although often narrow route. Exercise- not so much.

I cannot get from my house to school or work by going to the gym or the high school track.

My commuting choices are limited in ways that your exercise choices are not. You are like vegans in styrofoam hats. Everyone has to eat, but you choose to make everyone else accommodate your choice.

If I hit you on your bike in your clown suit and styrofoam hat on my way to work while you are exercising during rush hour on a heavy traffic, narrow commuter route, it will ruin my day. I hope your styrofoam hat is enough to protect your farking pea-sized brain.

atlas spanked: Yawn.

Fat autoholics aren't actually human. They're just cranky, obese, pathetically dumb techno-mollusks who get irate when they have to set down their Big Gulp, or pry a cell phone from their ear, or actually use a hip muscle to move foot from accelerator to brake pedal. Gasp! How inconvenient!

Homo krispy kremis; they're what some humans have devolved to.
Unfortunately most are so idiotically impatient they think vehicular homicide is justified any time someone briefly impedes their crosstown run for super-sized fries.

Sounds like Chattanooga is full of them.

/It's called exercise.
//Lack of it is why you're so fat, stupid and angry "Resident Vampire."

THIS!

atlas spanked: Yawn.

Fat autoholics aren't actually human. They're just cranky, obese, pathetically dumb techno-mollusks who get irate when they have to set down their Big Gulp, or pry a cell phone from their ear, or actually use a hip muscle to move foot from accelerator to brake pedal. Gasp! How inconvenient!

Homo krispy kremis; they're what some humans have devolved to.
Unfortunately most are so idiotically impatient they think vehicular homicide is justified any time someone briefly impedes their crosstown run for super-sized fries.

Sounds like Chattanooga is full of them.

/It's called exercise.
//Lack of it is why you're so fat, stupid and angry "Resident Vampire."

such hate. i don't get it. it's not cool.

sprlmnl: such hate. i don't get it. it's not cool.

Ahem... the hate is on both sides.

stirfrybry: "People who hate on cyclists are probably fatass basement dwellers who take cocks up their ass"

because bicycles are teh only way to get in shape! DURR HURR HURRR

this is a textbook example of freudian projection. (new window)

don't worry stirfrybry it's only gay if you push back.

/NTTAWWT

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Freudian_projection

for some reason it won't let me link

Silly little clown suit.

/okay, not that little

You know, I'm one of those guys in a clown suit, so I'm really getting...

pretty pissed off, is what I'm getting!

Naw, not really. The outfit isn't just to look like a racer hero.

1. shorts have no seams in the crotch - important when ride times go beyond an hour, believe me.

2. crap in pants pockets really flops around or gets squished

3. clothes made of cotton get colder and stay wetter (then chafe), so wool or synthetic rules on bike

4. flapping can be annoying and wide shorts legs get bugs blown into your pants - the stinging ones have a strong sense of destiny/irony

5. regular shirts don't have convenient pockets in the back for holding what you need where you can get it

6. form fitting stuff is easier to layer as temps change on the ride

7. wearing jerseys from charity rides is a great conversation starter and often leads to more donations to that charity

Anybody want to support injured Marines returning from the war? That's my next charity ride. 430 miles from Scottsdale, AZ to Camp Pendleton in Oceanside, CA in late October. Proceeds go to the Injured Marine Semper Fi Fund.

You can hate bicyclists, but don't be hatin' the kids who lost a leg or came home paralyzed after serving their country. I don't care where you stood on the war, these guys' burden will be lifelong and they deserve some support for better prosthetics or to afford re-fitting their car or bathroom to accommodate their new disability.

The Ride for Semper Fi (new window)

("Semper fi" is short for the Latin meaning "Always faithful" -- the motto of the Marine Corps)

/never EVER thought I'm pitch a charity on Fark
//might even be agin' the rulez
///that's why there's mods
////I'll enjoy my ban

Nobody posted the car plowing into a group of bikers? I feel let down.

I used to ride my bike all the time for work, errands etc., but don't much these days because I can't find a farking safe place to park the damn thing. You have a 50/50 chance of your bike not being where you left when you return, (at least in my city) no matter what kind of lock/chains you have. I had 3 bikes stolen in one year

My city is starting up some sort of bike sharing program. I hope it works out, and I hope arrangements are made for secure bike parking, and possibly offering safe biking courses.

The only peeve I have with cyclists is: DON'T RIDE ON THE FARKING SIDEWALKS AND YES, STOP SIGNS AND RED LIGHTS APPLY TO YOU TOO, YOU MORON!

greighwolf Nobody posted the car plowing into a group of bikers? I feel let down.

That was posted. Looks like it was deleted as per Fark policy.

HAND, STFU.

/I hope your gas goes up to eight bucks a gallon

Tr0mBoNe: swahnhennessy: Non-professional cyclists who wear the spandex crap are like you or me going to the local pool in a one piece body suit. Totally useless for the purpose, just makes you look like a douche playing dress-up.

I wear spandex under my shorts to avoid some serious chafing. And to avoid a serious case of dangly jangly.

This. I'm realistic enough about my physique to not go silver surfer, but spandex under regular shorts helps avoid the chafage and the twistage.

Look at all the misinformed, arrogant, angsty cagers.

You guys are so cute... it's like we've never had this same exact topic show up before.

Here's my problem with people on bikes. They have a tendency to ride down this one particular road in my area. This road has one lane of traffic going each way, and no shoulder, just ditches on either side. There are hills along this road that make it hard to see oncoming trafficoontil the last minute, so there is no passing on this road. And the speed limit is 45. There are many multi-lane parallel roads they could take instead. This is the area I see them most commonly...during rush hour.

I ride a bike occasinally and i will join the bike bashers in there hate of lycra. Its gay. It is really gay. I ride my bike becasue i can not drive everywhere when theres only one person in the car paying for gas but i hate the scourge of the poofters in the lycra. I ride my bike becasue its free, they ride there bikes becasue they like to get as close to being naked as possible and then go start some fights.
I get the bike bashing, some guys are real dicks.
I understand why some of you with you bad expernices with crimanal cyclists hate all of them but do not under any circumstances that everyone who rides a bike wears lycra. If that was a the case i would never ride again.

I live in Austin, TX where many of the bicyclists seem to fantasize that they're Lance Armstrong (yellow shirt galore during Tour de France).

They amuse me.

If ever there exists a bike which can kill the driver of a car through mere impact, I will begin giving shiats about driver's rights on the road. You are driving ton-heavy deathmachines, cornholes. You aren't allowed to complain

Anyone who does something you don't do is arrogant.

Makes sense to me.

MixxMaster: BigDumbGuy: What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche."

Sorry about the small penis.

I was thinkin this.
No matter how smoothly you try to bring this up, it's still like screaming "Get your tiny penis here!"

Those bike clothes? I so do not want to see your junk in the cafe, the store, the office, restaurants, picnics, anywhere. Really. If you want to show me your junk, you should buy me dinner first.

/do not want

NON-MOTORIZED VEHICLES OF ANY TYPE DO NOT BELONG ON THE ROAD WITH MOTORIZED VEHICLES. PERIOD. ITS DANGEROUS FOR EVERYONE. IT MAKES NO LOGICAL SENSE TO PUT A 35 POUND BIKE AND A 190 POUND HUMAN UP AGAINST A 2 TON METAL, INTERNAL COMBUSTION CAR.

FOR FARKS SAKE.

//unless there is a designated bike lane, then i'm cool.
///but absolutely no bikes on the road with cars.

Tr0mBoNe: What are these people 12? Grow up and run to work. That way you can short cut through parks and use the sidewalks.

Parkour!