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(The Chattanoogan)   The scourge of arrogant bicyclists and their "silly little clown suits" (w/bonus reader responses)   (chattanoogan.com) divider line 302
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24517 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 Sep 2008 at 3:44 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-09-28 03:56:00 PM  
The Power of Positive Drinking: I hate bicyclists that ride on the road against oncoming traffic. And the ones that run red lights or stop signs because they are on a bicycle.

you get heat, cd player, cup holders, passenger seats, cyclists get traffic light running.

seems like more than a fair trade.
 
2008-09-28 03:57:07 PM  
drewogatory: Subaru WRX motors bolt right(well, there's a kit) in to 914s. 250+ hp. perks 'em up just a little.

Or you can drop in a Chevy small block (it will actually fit into it).
 
2008-09-28 03:57:15 PM  
Katie98_KT: oh god. this is wonderful:

"But we're forgetting about the other half of Mr. Dempsey's gripe: the clown suits.

I wish we as a species could become aware that when a given body rides the streets of a given U.S. town on an obscure Saturday morning, said body is not actually in France racing Lance. What is it that makes a human want to wear a costume and become somebody else? Look at the Harley culture. You really think those fat guys with their fat heads in itty-bitty helmets are tough and mean? Could they even walk a mile? I doubt it. But they sure do look mean and tough because once they put on the cowboy suit and get on the hog, they're not who they were five minutes ago. They're mean and tough high plains drifters now.

If I sported a Michael Phelps outfit pool side would I be Michael Phelps? Would my wife provide me with a first class one way ticket to Moccasin Bend? I sincerely hope she would.

What I mean is that I seriously don't believe the wind resistance savings these little suits afford is worth the shameless display of, well, vitals. At a distance it's pretty silly but it's okay because my eyes aren't as sharp as they used to be."


I tend to agree with you; I think the main reason so many bike riders wear the "clown suits" is basically to be seen and noticed--and not just for reasons of safety. It's sort of the same reason why so many guys with bodybuilder physiques will "find" reasons to walk around wearing muscle shirts or no shirt at all, even if the temperature outside is 40 degrees. Or medical students and doctors who make a point of walking around in public in their scrubs.

Attention-whoring has become the new national pastime.
 
2008-09-28 03:58:12 PM  
BigDumbGuy: What I hate the most are the assjacks that ride side by side hogging a lane. Look behind you. Do you see this canary yellow car behind you? What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche." That means I can go faster than 20 mph. Get the fark out of the way or you will keep listening to my horn, interrupting the important conversation you are having about bicycles. Would it kill you to ride single file on the side so I can get around you?

Actually, they tell bikers to do that deliberately, to force cars into performing a formal pass. It's the same reason single bikers ride almost to the line; cars now have to signal, go completely into the next lane, pass, and then reeenter the current lane.

If bikers do not do this, stupid drivers will attempt some kind of shortcut pass, where the car moves approximately half a lane over, barely leaving room for the bike, and then clips the biker on the back of the head with the rearview mirror at 60MPH.

Because that's not enough room.
 
2008-09-28 03:58:38 PM  
Build bike lanes.

Make bicycles by plates.

If you leave the lane and hold up traffic, a camera snaps it and you get a ticket that negates every penny you saved on gas, that month.

Sorry, 8 MPH, smug and blowing through red lights, three abreast and shouting at people who own cars isn't a "green" movement. It's a ponderously ridiculous jerk movement.
 
2008-09-28 03:58:58 PM  
Oh what a surprise. Some fat disgusting stupid inbred farks in Tenne-goddamn-ssee are complaining about people holding them up in their precious cars.farking coonts. All of them.
 
2008-09-28 04:00:09 PM  
Makes me proud to not live in the USA.
 
2008-09-28 04:00:39 PM  
i38.tinypic.com
 
2008-09-28 04:02:49 PM  
I'm riding my bike, running red lights while posting via Blackberry so I'm really getting a kick out of this thread.

/Latin phrases? How about CARPE SCROTUM ?
 
2008-09-28 04:02:57 PM  
I ride my bicycle so you motorists can have more room to park downtown.
 
2008-09-28 04:04:06 PM  
hitler was a hardcore liberal: fireclown: DosMas: There, happy?

yeah. you posted some snuff. Your mother would be so proud.

it's the only snuff picture that wont get you banned.


Shiat there was a Greenlit thread dedicated to that very picture not 4 months back. I have nothing against bikes, or bikers, or lycra, or public rants in the Chattanoogan for that matter, just doing my part for a fellow Farker who asked for it.

/helluva pic though.
 
2008-09-28 04:04:35 PM  
I bike, and I think there should be a bicycle license. So many people run stop signs, don't use hand signals, and think they're a motorist one minute and then a pedestrian the next.

There should be a mandatory test just like for the car -- written part for all traffic laws, and a riding part where someone rides behind you as you do a few laps in traffic.
 
2008-09-28 04:04:36 PM  
Whats bad is when you are some where with a bike lane and the ass clown in still in the traffic lane.
 
2008-09-28 04:05:26 PM  
DosMas: Shiat there was a Greenlit thread dedicated to that very picture not 4 months back. I have nothing against bikes, or bikers, or lycra, or public rants in the Chattanoogan for that matter, just doing my part for a fellow Farker who asked for it.

Ah. I see. Now would you please post me some stills from the Danny Pearl excecution?
 
2008-09-28 04:06:09 PM  
Cyclists riding three or four abreast on these winding mountain roads piss right me off. It's dangerous for them, it's dangerous for any vehicles trying to get around them and it's dangerous for that car flying around the blind corners.

/heh heh abreast
 
2008-09-28 04:06:22 PM  
Cyclists that run reds piss me off. Especially since they're running reds in the CENTER OF BOSTON. Fortunately the troopers are starting to get sick of it, so they are ticketing cyclists.

The other ones are the ones on the b-roads in which sit in the center of the lane. Despite the fact that speed limits are A) as high as 50mph, B) loaded with blind corners and hills so you can't see them until you're within 50 yards of them. Even better when this is at night and they're wearing dark clothing and have no lights on their bike.

I don't mind cyclists. I do mind the ones that don't obey the rules of the road, and take complete disregard for their safety resulting in the complete disruption of traffic as yet another person gets on the brakes to go from 40mph to 8mph because some tool with no helmet, no reflecting clothing is riding in the center of the lane at 11PM.
 
2008-09-28 04:06:54 PM  
bp0.blogger.com
They got their little spandex pants on, their little gloves and they're riding around, "I have the right to ride my bike right in the middle of traffic. And I have my little whistle - TWEET, TWEET" I have a horn, HONK HONK, you're dead!
 
2008-09-28 04:07:22 PM  
i ate my crayon: So many people run stop signs, don't use hand signals, and think they're a motorist one minute and then a pedestrian the next.

Oldiron_79: Whats bad is when you are some where with a bike lane and the ass clown in still in the traffic lane.

These.
 
2008-09-28 04:07:43 PM  
I have no problem with bikers that obey the laws. I give plenty of room and move over. When I pass you fairly and considerably, don't blow by us all at the next light on the right without even stopping so we all get to do it again slowing down traffic twice. I would love to see more cops pulling over bikers after seeing a couple get tagged running stop signs and lights.

I do appreciate the ones that ride politely and have no problem returning the favor.
 
2008-09-28 04:08:38 PM  
Sim Tree: If bikers do not do this, stupid drivers will attempt some kind of shortcut pass, where the car moves approximately half a lane over, barely leaving room for the bike, and then clips the biker on the back of the head with the rearview mirror at 60MPH.

I hate it when that happens. I've never been hit in the back of the head, but I've had my own mirror knocked off my handlebar.

/cyclist
//can't we all just get along?
///by the way, my legs are nicer than yours
 
2008-09-28 04:08:39 PM  
fireclown: DosMas: There, happy?

yeah. you posted some snuff. Your mother would be so proud.


Still biatching about that picture, I see...
 
2008-09-28 04:09:38 PM  
You can't lump red-light running cyclists together with the majority that don't run reds. It's easy to say "I hate it when a cyclist does X, therefore I hate all cyclists".

In every state, bicycles have the same rights as cars and when it is too dangerous for a car to pass (like say on blind corners) it's SAFER for the cyclist to get into the middle of the lane. I can't count the number of times idiot drivers try to pass me on blind corners and almost get into a head on collision.

It's not our fault there isn't a shoulder and that road is either the only or safest way to get to where we're going. Maybe you should complain about the roads departments for not adding a 12" shoulder to all the roads?
 
2008-09-28 04:09:40 PM  
i ate my crayon: I bike, and I think there should be a bicycle license. So many people run stop signs, don't use hand signals, and think they're a motorist one minute and then a pedestrian the next.

There should be a mandatory test just like for the car -- written part for all traffic laws, and a riding part where someone rides behind you as you do a few laps in traffic.


This. Oh, gods, this.

And I say that as a cyclist... Too many people are hopping on a bicycle and riding out on the roads without the first concept of how to safely ride on the roads - keeping in mind their safety and the safety of drivers, as well.

As for the clothes? Padding. Padding is everything. So, I'll wear the silly shorts if it means I can still sit comfortably after being on the road for two hours.
 
2008-09-28 04:09:50 PM  
girljen: ///by the way, my legs are nicer than yours

Actually, they're not.

Isometrics. : )
 
2008-09-28 04:09:54 PM  
ultraholland: Still biatching about that picture, I see...

pet peeve.
 
2008-09-28 04:10:57 PM  
BigDumbGuy: Christ. That reads like a Fark thread.

I'll go on the record and say I hate bicyclists. The worst offenders are messengers. They somehow think that riding the wrong way on a one way street between lanes in downtown Chicago is acceptable behavior. I do feel kind of bad for them when I see them get hit because they are independent contractors and must provide their own insurance (never have any). They are complete psychos and fun to get drunk with though.

What I hate the most are the assjacks that ride side by side hogging a lane. Look behind you. Do you see this canary yellow car behind you? What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche." That means I can go faster than 20 mph. Get the fark out of the way or you will keep listening to my horn, interrupting the important conversation you are having about bicycles. Would it kill you to ride single file on the side so I can get around you?


Don't you have to be in the gym in 26 minutes?
 
2008-09-28 04:11:02 PM  
i34.tinypic.com
 
2008-09-28 04:11:15 PM  
1. A bicycle is not a license to act like a douche-bag

2. Your car is no more important than any other mode of transportation. Bike, motorcycle, Semi-Trailer, Scooter.

We need to take a whole other look at how we use transportation. People will walk short distances if its safe and well designed. Same with bicycles, scooters, mopeds, etc.n Give them an equivalent of an HOV lane.

Upgrade our tracks and put more freight on our rails and less on semi's. They should be doing shorter distances (100 miles) instead of long hauls.

The simplest short term answer I have seen that makes a huge impact immediately is to give tax breaks to companies that adopt a 4-day work week.
 
2008-09-28 04:12:33 PM  
uk.gizmodo.com
LANCE ARMSTRONG!!
 
2008-09-28 04:13:11 PM  
Katie98_KT: oh god. this is wonderful:

"But we're forgetting about the other half of Mr. Dempsey's gripe: the clown suits.

I wish we as a species could become aware that when a given body rides the streets of a given U.S. town on an obscure Saturday morning, said body is not actually in France racing Lance. What is it that makes a human want to wear a costume and become somebody else? Look at the Harley culture. You really think those fat guys with their fat heads in itty-bitty helmets are tough and mean? Could they even walk a mile? I doubt it. But they sure do look mean and tough because once they put on the cowboy suit and get on the hog, they're not who they were five minutes ago. They're mean and tough high plains drifters now.

If I sported a Michael Phelps outfit pool side would I be Michael Phelps? Would my wife provide me with a first class one way ticket to Moccasin Bend? I sincerely hope she would.

What I mean is that I seriously don't believe the wind resistance savings these little suits afford is worth the shameless display of, well, vitals. At a distance it's pretty silly but it's okay because my eyes aren't as sharp as they used to be."


The "clown" suits are light weight and easy to move in and they don't bunch up in the crotch. It's called having the right equipment for the sport. You must laugh at football players in their pads or baseball players using a glove.

People who hate on cyclists are probably fatass basement dwellers who take cocks up their ass
 
2008-09-28 04:13:29 PM  
hitler was a hardcore liberal: fireclown: DosMas: There, happy?

yeah. you posted some snuff. Your mother would be so proud.

it's the only snuff picture that wont get you banned.


So what's the story? As in, how the hell did the driver not see a swarm of bicyclists? Must have been a woman driver.
 
2008-09-28 04:13:39 PM  
JesterGirl: They got their little spandex pants on, their little gloves and they're riding around, "I have the right to ride my bike right in the middle of traffic. And I have my little whistle - TWEET, TWEET" I have a horn, HONK HONK, you're dead!

Hey buddy, your nuts are hanging out. Opps, sorry, you're a bicycle cop, you don't have those.

/I don't think anyone watched that show
//Opps, I mean "Obscure?"
 
2008-09-28 04:13:58 PM  
nuclear_asshat: Give them an equivalent of an HOV lane.

And next week's post will be biatching about how the guvmint is using imminent domain to take away 3' of your front yard to create said HOV lane.
 
2008-09-28 04:14:08 PM  
/or old. Could be someone old.
 
2008-09-28 04:14:43 PM  
A Cool and Logical Analysis of the Bicycle Menace (new window)

/you guys are slacking
 
2008-09-28 04:14:47 PM  
filter: Makes me proud to not live in the USA.

Yeah. Sometimes it's a difficult burden for those of us living in a country that's relevant.
 
2008-09-28 04:15:51 PM  
farfigneugan: /or old. Could be someone old.

Drunk and Mexican.
 
2008-09-28 04:16:08 PM  
Sim Tree: BigDumbGuy: What I hate the most are the assjacks that ride side by side hogging a lane. Look behind you. Do you see this canary yellow car behind you? What does the emblem on the hood say? It says, "Porsche." That means I can go faster than 20 mph. Get the fark out of the way or you will keep listening to my horn, interrupting the important conversation you are having about bicycles. Would it kill you to ride single file on the side so I can get around you?

Actually, they tell bikers to do that deliberately, to force cars into performing a formal pass. It's the same reason single bikers ride almost to the line; cars now have to signal, go completely into the next lane, pass, and then reeenter the current lane.

If bikers do not do this, stupid drivers will attempt some kind of shortcut pass, where the car moves approximately half a lane over, barely leaving room for the bike, and then clips the biker on the back of the head with the rearview mirror at 60MPH.

Because that's not enough room.


I just love to buzz the bastards on my motorcycle. Try to hog the lane... I'm a narrow one-track as well!
 
2008-09-28 04:17:27 PM  
BigDumbGuy: Can we please get back to my awesome car? Jesus, I thought threadjacking was frowned upon here.

Awesome. I always liked the 914s. First car I actually fell in love with.


Back on topic, farking bikers ride though stop signs and red lights around here like crazy. Two of them ran a red light while the light while I was making a left turn and I almost hit one of them. Had I been in the carerra pushing through the turn instead of being in the volvo, my front panels would be trashed and I would be suing his estate for the restoration repairs.
 
2008-09-28 04:17:34 PM  
Oldiron_79: Whats bad is when you are some where with a bike lane and the ass clown in still in the traffic lane.

Bike lanes are great if you want to take a nice meandering ride 6mph with your kid and don't actually have to get anywhere. Only rarely are bike lanes any good at all if you actually have a destination.
 
2008-09-28 04:18:08 PM  
farfigneugan: So what's the story? As in, how the hell did the driver not see a swarm of bicyclists? Must have been a woman driver.

My question was always how the cyclists missed seeing the oncoming drunkass.
 
2008-09-28 04:18:30 PM  
DosMas: farfigneugan: /or old. Could be someone old.

Drunk and Mexican.


Is that a way to go through life?
 
2008-09-28 04:19:01 PM  
sirgrim: I have no problem with bikers that obey the laws. I give plenty of room and move over. When I pass you fairly and considerably, don't blow by us all at the next light on the right without even stopping so we all get to do it again slowing down traffic twice. I would love to see more cops pulling over bikers after seeing a couple get tagged running stop signs and lights.

I do appreciate the ones that ride politely and have no problem returning the favor.


What's the bike supposed to do? Wait until the road is totally clear to move? Your criticism is ridiculous
 
2008-09-28 04:19:17 PM  
I read a story out of SF ( I believe ) where this city leader is making the claim that cyclists actually increase pollution. His premise is that where bikes are on roads with no special lanes, they cause traffic jams. More idling, more pollution.

Kind of makes sense in a way.

/maybe the next Rockstar video game will not involve killing cops and hookers but simply running down assholes on bikes ( in clown suits of course ).
 
2008-09-28 04:21:04 PM  
I would love to see this guy try to drive his car in San Francisco, with all of these pesky pedestrians and "Clowns" going faster than his Oldsmobile.

I have news for all of those out there that cling onto the notion that bicyclists must adhere to every traffic law...

BS. It's vital that the cyclist stay ahead of traffic, even if that means slowly passing through an empty intersection. We can't kill you if we hit your car. This is the same reason why motorcycles are louder than cars.
 
2008-09-28 04:21:18 PM  
bikerific: Oldiron_79: Whats bad is when you are some where with a bike lane and the ass clown in still in the traffic lane.

Bike lanes are great if you want to take a nice meandering ride 6mph with your kid and don't actually have to get anywhere. Only rarely are bike lanes any good at all if you actually have a destination.


Gee, just like rush hour in the car lanes.

Welcome to America.

Stop pulling out in front of cars at 12 MPH.
 
2008-09-28 04:21:31 PM  
OH MY GOD PEOPLE BREAK THE LAW!! Uhhh i think this happens in every kind of transportation. I really dont understand why some people get so angry at people on bikes. I am always very careful around people on bikes becasue i realize that i could do alot of damage to them becasue my car is so much larger than them. It seems for some of you angry people it is like, HAHAH I AM BIG AND CAN SMASH YOU. Get a life and stop getting angry at people you dont know. Whenever I cruise past a guy in his clown suit i just think god im happy to be in my nice A/C enjoying a cold drink instead of working my ass off. Of course then i think that im feeding the arab hate machine but whatever as long as i can sit down.
 
2008-09-28 04:22:42 PM  
bikerific: Bike lanes are great if you want to take a nice meandering ride 6mph with your kid and don't actually have to get anywhere. Only rarely are bike lanes any good at all if you actually have a destination.


because slower moving bike traffic blocks the lane?
 
2008-09-28 04:23:52 PM  
stirfrybry: sirgrim: I have no problem with bikers that obey the laws. I give plenty of room and move over. When I pass you fairly and considerably, don't blow by us all at the next light on the right without even stopping so we all get to do it again slowing down traffic twice. I would love to see more cops pulling over bikers after seeing a couple get tagged running stop signs and lights.

I do appreciate the ones that ride politely and have no problem returning the favor.

What's the bike supposed to do? Wait until the road is totally clear to move? Your criticism is ridiculous


Wait in line with the rest of us? You want to be treated like a vehicle act like one. Don't blow by on the right, don't run red lights. I also seen a biker run straight into the side of a turning vehicle when it could have been avoided by obeying traffic laws. Your ignorance and smugness is uncalled for. Maybe you should try reading my post again, I didn't even hint they shouldn't be on the road. Only obeying laws. It's not that difficult to comprehend.
 
2008-09-28 04:24:05 PM  
Vis"A Cool and Logical Analysis of the Bicycle Menace"
P J O'Rourke is a voice of reason?

He'll be gunning for Andy Rooney's job, next.

It's a shallow screed dressed up as a proper argument, factually
inconsistent, and never addresses the casualties that cars or bikes are involved in every year in relation to their per capita usage.

I'd chalk this piece up as satire, especially 21 years later.
 
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