If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(NCBuy)   Tolkien's talking trees not so far-fetched   (ncbuy.com) divider line 76
    More: Unlikely  
•       •       •

10045 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 Dec 2002 at 1:16 PM (11 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



76 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2002-12-26 01:19:22 PM  
Tree-hugging hippie crap!
 
Rib
2002-12-26 01:19:36 PM  
"Fancy being turned into a load of porn mags Mr Birch?"
"It's the only way to go!"
 
2002-12-26 01:20:29 PM  
I've talked with trees before and it usually had something to do with hallucinogenic substances.
 
2002-12-26 01:23:04 PM  
My tree says to eat him.. I'm scared.
 
2002-12-26 01:23:39 PM  
I once saw a documentary on late night tv about plant intelligence. One experiment had a plant hooked to electrodes, separated from live shrimp by a plate of glass. The experimenters left, a few minutes later the shrimp were dropped into boiling water. The plants showed electrical activity the moment the shrimp died.

Hoo-ha or not, the next day I told my brother the story while spliffin' on a break from cutting lawn. Freaked us out, those poor innocent lil blades of grass screaming so loud. :)
 
2002-12-26 01:24:05 PM  
"although the conversations I've had with oaks tend to drag"

- Arthur Dent
 
2002-12-26 01:24:53 PM  
Feh, just a Media Hugger, more like it. Why not say this before "The Two Towers" came out, eh?
- "Move Along, Nothing To See Here."
 
2002-12-26 01:25:00 PM  
Won't someone think of The Screaming Trees?
 
2002-12-26 01:25:10 PM  


Of course they can't walk, that's kinda far fetched.
 
2002-12-26 01:26:20 PM  
Apparently unlike trees, I'm friggin' speechless.
 
2002-12-26 01:27:38 PM  
"However, the "Dr. Dolittle of Douglas Firs" draws the line at the walking, talking "Ent" characters, saying that type of anthropomorphism "comes from egotism" of humans."

Yeah, and pretending you know how trees communicate doesn't come from your egotism, you self-righteous shiatbird.

A)Put all hippy "scientists", PETA members, and people with downloaded cell phone ringtones in a giant pot and cook them until dead.

B)Dump in ocean to feed the fish I like to catch.

C) Marvel at how much better the world is.

Democracy in action.
 
2002-12-26 01:28:35 PM  
The funny thing about plants. Plants duke it out with other plants over any number or arguments. Arguments about water rights, sunlight rights, sexual reproduction rights. Plants are some of the biggest hell raisers I know. The only reason people don't look at plants as I do is because they lack my cool time lapse photographic TIVO eyesight.

The bottom line. Every living thing, every single living thing fights over resources.
 
2002-12-26 01:28:42 PM  
However, the "Dr. Dolittle of Douglas Firs" draws the line at the walking, talking "Ent" characters, saying that type of anthropomorphism "comes from egotism" of humans.

Wait, so the only reason I ever walk is because of my ego?

/moronic
 
2002-12-26 01:29:09 PM  
 
2002-12-26 01:29:27 PM  
When I was a kid, some of my best friends were trees. Until they got cut down.
 
2002-12-26 01:29:38 PM  
I love this line:

However, the "Dr. Dolittle of Douglas Firs" draws the line at the walking, talking "Ent" characters, saying that type of anthropomorphism "comes from egotism" of humans.
 
2002-12-26 01:29:52 PM  
"One day I'm gonna be a superstar!"
 
2002-12-26 01:31:01 PM  
ONLY YOU CAN PREVENT FOREST FI--AYYIEEEEE!!!
 
2002-12-26 01:32:22 PM  
The experimenters left, a few minutes later the shrimp were dropped into boiling water. The plants showed electrical activity the moment the shrimp died.

I remember seeing something like this too... but I always wondered if they'd get a different reading if instead of cooking shrimp, they cut down his brother right in front of him.
 
2002-12-26 01:33:51 PM  
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.

/handy
 
2002-12-26 01:34:45 PM  
Treebeard versus Gale Norton would be an awesome Celebrity Deathmatch.
 
2002-12-26 01:37:07 PM  
I thought only Scientologists talked to trees.
 
2002-12-26 01:38:50 PM  
that tree was tolkien....er i mean talkin'
 
2002-12-26 01:39:35 PM  
Damn you, Bleek! I was going to post that!
 
2002-12-26 01:44:07 PM  
#471:

"The Larch"
/python
 
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-12-26 01:49:17 PM  
So was I dave, hehe.
 
2002-12-26 01:52:02 PM  
damnit! Ents aren't Trees. Trees are Trees, Ents are Ents. Ents herd Trees like Shepherds herd Sheep. No one calls a Shepherd a Sheep, so why call an Ent a Tree? Yes, they have grown to resemble trees, but they are still different.
 
2002-12-26 01:53:33 PM  
Ok, Falken, time to calm down. How about a nice game of chess?
 
2002-12-26 01:54:09 PM  
Dogs are already hip to this and take every opportunity to harass said trees..

Tree -- "Back off farkin' mutt!!!"
Rover -- "Take this sucker!!! Bwahahahawoofwoof."
 
2002-12-26 01:55:48 PM  
This guy really needs to stop eating the mushrooms he finds when he is in the woods.
 
2002-12-26 01:56:06 PM  
This shiat is real, I saw it years ago in the Wizard of OZ. But I think this woman has been eating too many red berries, or somthin'.
 
2002-12-26 01:57:09 PM  
 
2002-12-26 02:03:43 PM  
Highlander: That is a homosexual tree.
 
2002-12-26 02:06:31 PM  
The guy mentioned too that it is only human arrogance which assumes that we are the only beings that can communicate intelligently.

I use "intelligently" loosely.
 
2002-12-26 02:12:21 PM  
Barbiturates by the spoonful, anyone?
 
2002-12-26 02:13:30 PM  
Dorf11
I once saw a documentary on late night tv about plant intelligence. One experiment had a plant hooked to electrodes, separated from live shrimp by a plate of glass. The experimenters left, a few minutes later the shrimp were dropped into boiling water. The plants showed electrical activity the moment the shrimp died.

What was it, In Search Of? That sounds like a pretty shoddy experiment. Plant intelligence has been debunked pretty solidly by the scientific community.
 
2002-12-26 02:15:10 PM  
Davel23 thanks
 
2002-12-26 02:15:36 PM  
Scientologists are misguided loons IMO.
 
2002-12-26 02:18:51 PM  
Sorry everyone, I'm new here.

WTF is up with this "NCBuy" web site? It looks like a standard pimp-your-wares commerce portal, but then it has news stories, too? Why is it called "NC Buy"? Is it based in North Carolina? Who runs it? Why does Drew keep poting crap from their weird news page - MSNBC isn't weird enough? HELP!
 
2002-12-26 02:20:58 PM  
The experimenters left, a few minutes later the shrimp were dropped into boiling water...

Later the experimenters returned with cocktail sauce and lemon wedges.
 
2002-12-26 02:23:50 PM  
Actually, there is a type of tree that can "walk". It moves at about 1 inch per year and makes its way to oceans. Bonus points to the person who can help me out with a link to the tree. However, talking trees is pure bullshiat.
 
2002-12-26 02:24:01 PM  
It's because they desperately want to be poplar.
 
2002-12-26 02:27:37 PM  
Talking trees?

This guy's out of a job!

 
2002-12-26 02:36:20 PM  
There is unrest in the forest,
There is trouble with the trees,
For the maples want more sunlight
And the oaks ignore their pleas.

The trouble with the maples,
(And they're quite convinced they're right)
They say the oaks are just too lofty
And they grab up all the light.
But the oaks can't help their feelings
If they like the way they're made.
And they wonder why the maples
Can't be happy in their shade.

There is trouble in the forest,
And the creatures all have fled,
As the maples scream "Oppression!"
And the oaks just shake their heads

So the maples formed a union
And demanded equal rights.
"The oaks are just too greedy;
We will make them give us light."
Now there's no more oak oppression,
For they passed a noble law,
And the trees are all kept equal
By hatchet, axe, and saw.
 
2002-12-26 02:36:33 PM  
"It's getting him to shut up that's the problem." Shrek
 
2002-12-26 02:48:31 PM  
Argument for eugenics #5,210,259,126.
 
2002-12-26 02:48:37 PM  
Zog

Ah, the screaming trees... so underrated and unappreciated.
 
2002-12-26 03:03:45 PM  
Cliche: "Those are the cries of the carrots...you see Rev. Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day, and for them, it is...the apocalypse...."

One time I talked to a tree, right after it ate my brother and made a toy clown come to life...
 
2002-12-26 03:10:00 PM  
so my friend's at an after show party for Queens of the Stoneage last year and he's drinking a beer and chatting with some guy. they start talking about seattle and my friend asks the guy if he was around during the whole grunge thing. the guy laughs and says yes. turns out he had been chilling with mark lanegan the whole time.

the screaming trees rock my world.
 
2002-12-26 03:20:46 PM  
Maple you just have to Ash them necely.
 
Displayed 50 of 76 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter





In Other Media


Report