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(CNN)   Here's how far-fetched your chances of winning the Powerball tonight are   ( ) divider line
    More: Obvious  
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3167 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Aug 2001 at 5:17 PM (15 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

39 Comments     (+0 »)
2001-08-22 05:21:06 PM  
I hope this guy gets hit by lightning
2001-08-22 05:27:25 PM  
yea, well if i win, i'm buying fark a new server
2001-08-22 05:32:37 PM  
If I win, I am going to rent a lot of boats, hire a lot of people and kill a bunch of those damn sharks!
2001-08-22 05:32:58 PM  
That is cool. Especially the killed in a car accident thing.
2001-08-22 05:35:45 PM  
"I'd rather play blackjack"... of course: in blackjack, you get to do something besides sit around and hope you win. It's actually fun, plus it has some of the lowest house %ages in casinos.

I know it's hackneyed, but Powerball is a tax on stupidity, plain and simple: that one guy who wins will just blow it on a boat and candy bars, anyway.
2001-08-22 05:41:17 PM  
Candy bars?

Schweet, I'd love to see that person, "Dude yes! Yes! Yes! I won 200 million dollars, I am so living it up. Candy Bars all around! I will eat nothing but candy bars on my boat! Because I am rich woohoo!"
2001-08-22 05:47:04 PM  
If I win I will buy you all a boat shaped candy bar. Of course I won't win so don't get your hopes up. And who the hell has a friend in canada? and why would you want to draw canadians names out of a hat? That is just stupid. hehehe

I think the "fun" part of the lottery especially when it gets this high is just sitting back taking time out of your day and think about all the cool stuff you could do with that much money. It is much better than actually working and is a nice break from reality...much like Fark.
2001-08-22 05:58:00 PM  
Sorry FRAKers, but I've got the winning ticket right here in my pocket.

BTW, Once the check clears the bank, I'm not just going to buy him a new server, I going to buy Drew.
2001-08-22 06:01:29 PM  
There was a good joke about this on the daily show yesterday. You are 3 times as likely to get killed in a car accident than to buy this guy's book.
2001-08-22 06:04:06 PM  
Q: what has six balls and screws white trash?
A: the lottery!
2001-08-22 06:05:27 PM  
Feltonl: hey, at least here in Canada we have lotteries that are only about a 1 in 13,000,000 chance of winning....and we get to keep all of the money. You stupid americans tax lottery winnings. TAX LOTTERY WINNINGS?!? I'm not sure on the actualy percentage, but if you win the $200 million, you either get it paid out over 25 years or about half as much in one lump sum.

Then again, 8 million bucks a year ain't that bad... and you don't even have to play a professional sport to get it....
2001-08-22 06:07:36 PM  
The lottery is a tax on people who can't do math. It's really kinda sad that people blow so much money on something that has such remote chances.
2001-08-22 06:25:31 PM  
I can do the math but I also don't plan my retirement on winning the lottery. I have fun thinking about what I'll buy and don't spend bill or grocery money on tickets. Besides, how many people spend $5+/week on alcohol or tobacco and have nothing to show when it's gone? I have a better chance of winning the lottery than what a drinker has to refill the bottle for free when it's empty.

One thing I want to do if I win is to pay the taxes and then never invest what's left so the IRS can't tax me any more. Look at them each year and say "I had zero income last year" and laugh. Of course they'll probably come up with some tax law that says I'd have to pay taxes on whatever I have left.
2001-08-22 06:39:02 PM  
Yeah, but I daydream all the time about being rich without buying a ticket... and that $5 a week I don't spend on cigs or booze gets spent on the occasional trip to the casino, and I sometimes come out ahead. In which case, I get booze anyway. :P And sometimes hundreds of millions of candy bars.
2001-08-22 06:43:24 PM  
Yeah, but my odds of winning are still WAY better than the odds of that guy EVER getting laid. :)
2001-08-22 06:50:40 PM  
I normally don't play the lottery because just like in Vegas the only real winner is the house, and after taxes the winnings aren't really that much, but I think I might just dump $5 on it tonight...
2001-08-22 06:59:24 PM  
What are the odds? Like 1 in 80 million?
At a $1 a ticket with the chance to win $200 million,
I wonder if you could buy a tix for every permitation?
2001-08-22 07:01:32 PM  
Hey, what the fark? We blew $10 on tickets. I don't really think we'll win, but hey, why not try it just for the sheer hell of it?
2001-08-22 07:42:39 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-22 07:44:58 PM  
You'd think they'd be kind and use another picture of the guy... Then again, maybe they are being kind.
2001-08-22 08:02:15 PM  
For the guy that wrote the book: those are the same odds of you getting laid.
2001-08-22 08:05:27 PM  
Walkman: "I have a better chance of winning the lottery than what a drinker has to refill the bottle for free when it's empty."

Au, contraire! I can refill the bottle for free any time I want. It just won't be booze (well, not ALL of it, anyway)...

Perhaps this belongs in the urinal ad thread now. Hmmm.
2001-08-22 08:28:34 PM  
Bill, you got it wrong. The joke was you're 3 times more likely to hit the jackpot than buy this guy's book.
2001-08-22 08:39:36 PM  
If I win, I'm going to sleep on a pill of $100 bills with many beautiful and nude women every night.
2001-08-22 08:41:14 PM  
this was done in Virginia, I believe (somewhere east coast). A group of fairly wealthy people got together and found a nice way to make a fast buck. They hired a bunch of people who bought tickets 24hours a day, using printouts of numbers so they wouldn't overlap. I think they actually missed several thousand tickets but ended up winning. NOt bad if you're one of the investors and can turn $2mil into $4-5mil in three days. Anyone happen to know a link to info on this?
2001-08-22 08:59:36 PM  
Damn, it's sad when you can't spell pile...
2001-08-22 09:01:09 PM  
Yeah, just get tons of tickets with every possible permutation. Is it permutaion I'm thinking of??? Maybe it's factorial... I dunno man, I haven't had a math class in like 7 whole hours.
2001-08-22 09:08:54 PM  
Efalk21: It was in VA right after they started the lottery. The jackpot went over the total permutations so an Australian group tried to buy every number. They managed about 90% when the VA lottery commission caught on and shut them down. The group won and the commission tried to renege on the grounds that the group was guaranteeing a win which "wasn't in the spirit of the game". VA was taken to court and the court ruled that there was no rule against what they did and VA had to pay out. There's now a rule in the VA lottery that no one group or person can buy more than a certain number of tickets for a particular drawing. Hey, I say if anyone wants to try, go for it.
2001-08-22 09:45:46 PM  
thats depressing. I think i'll go buy a lottery ticket to celebrate.
2001-08-22 09:48:57 PM  
Let's see....... I've got a better chance of inventing a time machine, travelling back into the past and getting oral from Joan of Arc.

I've got a better chance of growing an extra ear out of my forehead so that I can appreciate Bach better than anyone else.

I've got a better chance of stiking water using my penis as a divining rod, simultaneously beating Jesus Christ at lawn darts.

I've got a better chance......
2001-08-22 10:33:18 PM  
If you like to gamble, I tell you I'm your man,
You win some, lose some, all the same to me,
The pleasure is to play, makes no difference what you say,
I don't share your greed, the only card I need is
The Ace Of Spades
The Ace Of Spades

Playing for the high one, dancing with the devil,
Going with the flow, it's all the same to me,
Seven or Eleven, snake eyes watching you,
Double up or quit, double stake or split,
The Ace Of Spades
The Ace Of Spades

You know I'm born to lose, and gambling's for fools,
But that's the way I like it baby,
I don't wanna live for ever,
And don't forget the joker!

Pushing up the ante, I know you've got to see me,
Read 'em and weep, the dead man's hand again,
I see it in your eyes, take one look and die,
The only thing you see, you know it's gonna be,
The Ace Of Spades
The Ace Of Spades
2001-08-22 11:14:41 PM  
no, ratslapper, you have a much better chance of winning this lottery than you have of doing anything that you said. well, except for that ear-outta-the-forehead thing, but that's icky, so i digress.

i agree with most everyone here that says that the lottery is a "poor tax" for people that can't do math. wholeheartedly. but, when i heard that it was gonna be $200 million, i sent out an email & organized a pool at work. we chipped in $2 each and ended up buying $98 worh of tickets. yeah, I know it's stupid. I know we're not gonna win. but i definately got $2 worth of entertainment out of it.
2001-08-22 11:32:11 PM  
Holy shiat. What's up with that guy's face?
2001-08-23 12:22:25 AM  
If you'd just sat on a dead midget you'd look that way too...
2001-08-23 08:11:15 AM  
1. The odds are better than you get at McDonalds
2. Your odds are zero if you don't buy a ticket
3. There wasn't a winner - next drawing on Saturday - $280 million -
2001-08-23 08:53:06 AM  
Take the lump sum, you get roughly 60% of the money up-front, maybe a little less. Then take half of that away for taxes. At $280,000,000, that amounts to $84M. The odds of winning the jackpot are less than 1 in 84M, so a dollar, on average, is going to pay out more than $1 and is a good investment. That's not even counting the lesser prizes.
2001-08-23 10:22:39 AM  
Canada taxes lottery tickets too - that's why our prizes never get in the $200mm range, as our large and oversized omniprescent goverment taxes the proceeds going IN, whereas our southern neighobours tax it on the cashing out. A Canadain slagging Yanks about taxes IS a pot calling the kettle black.
2001-08-23 10:35:51 AM  
Actually we get taxed going in AND out on the lottery. You get nailed for income taxes 1st and then pay on winnings and as far as I know you can't deduct the cost of losing lottery tickets.
2001-08-23 02:19:36 PM  
Sensate: You forgot to take into account the fact that there are often multiple winners, particularly when the jackpot is so high that every dimwit collecting welfare is spending the month's food budget on them.

Even with two winners, you're looking at $42mil on a 1:80+million shot.

No matter how you slice it, the lottery is just another way for the government to take away people's money. In this case, poor people. Which is doubly cruel.

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