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(Seattle PI)   Lets start the holiday off right, with stories of some of the crappiest christmas gifts...ever   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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9847 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 Dec 2002 at 2:52 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

309 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-12-24 04:25:23 PM  
My wife got me a paper cutter one year. Yes a paper cutter. Yes we're still married.
2002-12-24 04:56:20 PM  
I got a vaccum cleaner last year from my boyfriend. Yay!
2002-12-24 05:08:53 PM  
One year after making Santa's naughty list. He left a pile of willow switches under the tree for my parents to spank me with.
2002-12-24 05:30:06 PM  
My birthday is 2 days after Christmas, so I used to get combo gifts. 1 gift for 2 days. Cheap bastards.

Clothes. Lots of clothes. Which boy growing up didn't hate getting clothes for Christmas?
2002-12-24 07:06:33 PM  
People that give you gifts that consist of their old crap like used clothes,food or anything not new are cheap bastards that suck! If I am spending money on your gifts then you had best bee shelling out some farking cash for me.

Merry X-mas all
2002-12-24 07:21:08 PM  
On my above comments-they only apply to adults giving gifts to adults and they both have the money.
2002-12-24 08:43:58 PM  
How's about those freaking cards that say

"I contributed $35.00 to the Children's Fund in your name."

And you don't even get to claim an exemption on your taxes!

Thanks a lot for nothing neighbor! (j/k)
Kat [TotalFark]
2002-12-24 10:37:24 PM  
My grandpop didn't get anything for me last christmas, and he got gifts for all of my other cousins. He also didn't show up to my sweet 16 birthday last september, because he HAD to go to my cousin Cara's soccer game. SHe has like, what, 50 of those a year?

I was hurt, but I didnt get him jack shiat this year because I'm sick of it.
2002-12-24 10:39:25 PM  
I got a wedding band. (I was married on Christmas Eve ten years ago today.)

Of course, this could qualify as both the best and worst present I've ever received. ;)

Merry Christmas Everybody! Enjoy your holiday.
2002-12-24 11:25:08 PM  
I've never really got any bad Christmas presents. I guess I'm lucky. Though my grandpa is a crazy fool, and for my birthday he tends to send cards meant for 3 or 4 year olds with one word written inside: Ukki (Finnish for grandfather).
2002-12-25 12:51:37 AM  
It doesn't matter what is under the tree, but rather who is around it. Merry Christmas everyone!
2002-12-25 02:10:07 AM  
I just now realize how much of a grumpy selfish ass that my last posts made me sound like. Any gifts are nice to get..honest. In reality spending lots of money and going in to debt is a stupid thing to do if you can't afford it.
2002-12-25 02:58:27 AM  
The jab at charity donations I understand... not really bad, but still a bit odd and sometimes strangely unfulfilling.

The worst one I've ever heard of, by FAR, is from my aunt's husband to one of my cousins.

He gave several people donations to HIS CHURCH, in HIS NAME. So it makes him look good, he gets a tax exemption, and they get a $.02 worth of paper. Hurray. That uncle of mine is an asshole. Next year I'm donating $5 to the Church of Satan and sending him the card that it was in his name.
2002-12-25 03:05:56 AM  
Blackbird, ditto, my b day is on the 22nd, so i almost always get these peices of shat gifts that are for my b day and X mas. Lucky summer bday bastards.
2002-12-25 03:07:22 AM  
Mirr....I mean what the heck is that anyway?!? gold..yeah francencessessses......whatever...yeah I know what that is but mirh....
2002-12-25 03:07:29 AM  
A $5 gift certificate to the mall. Kind of useless, but $5 is $5, right?
2002-12-25 03:08:21 AM  
One year my uncle made the mistake of mentioning to another family member his dislike of Chia pets, so of course they bought him one for Christmas. The next year he gave it back. That same damn Chia pet has been a family gift for 10 years, every year somebody gets it.
2002-12-25 03:09:09 AM  
My friend got an Electric Leaf Blower. No, actually it was a used Electric Leaf Blower. His parents wanted to make sure that the yard was clean.
2002-12-25 03:09:13 AM  
I have a confession.........I give my wife useful, practical gifts. One year for Valentines Day, I got her a new kitchen knife set, Henkeil I believe, with a set of steak knives. It was a spendy set, but she didn't care for it. I got her a new Kingsize Serta the year she was pregnant with our first child. For Mothers Day last year I got her a new washing machine. I still get laid though so I must be doing something right eh?

So, anyway, her crockpot died this year, and I heard her say she wished she had a new one a couple of times, so......I got her a new 5 qt. Rival programmable crockpot! Muahahahahahahaha!
2002-12-25 03:09:58 AM  
soap and toothpaste
2002-12-25 03:10:19 AM  
I just found out from one of my friends that a guy she knows was just told -- a few minutes ago -- that his girlfriend was pregnant.

Then she dumped him.

These two are 17 years old.

Merry Christmas, your life goes down the Shi**er!
2002-12-25 03:10:22 AM  
My sis got me a pinhole camera made out of cardboard, and it has to be put together. Needless to say, it sits in my closet, unopened.
2002-12-25 03:10:28 AM  
When I was younger my mom gave me this stuffed doll and the Chronicles of Narnia. We didn't have alot of money at the time. Being the farking brat I was I made a big deal of the "girl" toys. I think I was even recorded for posterity on VCR being a little asshole about it.

Then my mom died. and I was left with nothing but that doll and those chronicles of narnia books. and I never said thank you for them...

chrstmas sucks...
2002-12-25 03:10:33 AM  
I stopped getting presents once my Jew side of the family stopped inviting us. So I guess the worst present I recieved was Jack Shàt.
2002-12-25 03:11:04 AM  
My parents always used to give me lots of books. Boring nonfiction books. Ughh...
2002-12-25 03:11:17 AM  
My Aunt gave me this clown doll one Christmas. It would have been okay if only this clown had not been a Pennywise reject.

I was 7 and that thing with its vacant evil eyes and I'm up to something grin would give me nightmares! I was in complete, can'tsleepclownwilleatmecan'tsleepclownwilleatmecan'tsleepclownwillea​t​me mode for weeks. But I couldn't get rid of it because it was a present.
2002-12-25 03:12:19 AM  
My variation of shiat was filtered?? Correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the point of the filter to get around work filters? Dang censorship :\
2002-12-25 03:12:32 AM  
Back in '72, I told my parents I wanted "Quadrophenia" for Christmas. They got my some who-knows-what "quadrophonic" record instead!
2002-12-25 03:13:17 AM  
Nostrafarkingtdamus: Practical gifts rule, no need to be embarrassed; I'd give anything to get a food processor or crockpot for Christmas. But maybe that's because I don't like jewelry...
2002-12-25 03:15:20 AM  
White sweatshirt with my name in green plaid fabric sewn on to the front. Fortunatly my aunt only made me clothes once.
2002-12-25 03:15:44 AM  
I got smokes once. (I was in prison)
This year..i got a plus thingee in the fark chatroom.
2002-12-25 03:15:55 AM  
I have gotten complete and utter crap at every Yankee Swap I have been to in the last 4 years.
2002-12-25 03:16:09 AM  
A blender from my mother when I was sixteen.
2002-12-25 03:16:21 AM  
What's a battle?
2002-12-25 03:19:58 AM  
Two small bags of chips stuffed in a box...from my grandma.

And also, from another year, two boxes of macaroni and cheese with a ribbon tied around them...from the same grandma.
2002-12-25 03:22:24 AM  
A light up keychain...that she got as a thank you gift from a department store...for being a great shopper...for all the other gifts she bought there...for other people...she was the love of my life.
2002-12-25 03:22:35 AM  
A "Red Devil" handheld vacuum cleaner...I hate to shop so underwear, socks, whatever suits me just fine.
2002-12-25 03:22:45 AM  
My boss probably makes $200,000 or more and is very generous - we all make good salaries, he takes us out for sushi etc all the time- spends tons of money on us - we all get nice bonuses. One guy in the office likes hockey - boss lets him use his season hockey tickets all the time - this guy probably makes 60-70K. So yesterday he gives the boss a bottle CLUNY scotch. With a screw on top. $5.99 at the drugstore. This is scotch that is so young its embarrased to put how many years its been aged on the label. I thought it was only drank by broke alcoholics on foodstamps...

what a cheapass.... never give a screw-on top bottle of anything to anyone
2002-12-25 03:23:09 AM  
You can always tell which family members don't like you, because they give your child a drum set for Christmas.
2002-12-25 03:25:39 AM  
Next year I'm donating $5 to the Church of Satan and sending him the card that it was in his name.

That ROCKS!!

FOr me the worst gift had to be this year actually--my septic backed up.

Joyeux Noel!
2002-12-25 03:26:19 AM  
Blackbird, some boys liked to get clothes at Christmas...

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-25 03:32:13 AM  

Some of you think thats a GOOD gift.. but I'm a straight guy.. a "HETERO" if you will!
2002-12-25 03:32:30 AM  
Mirr....I mean what the heck is that anyway?!? gold..yeah francencessessses......whatever...yeah I know what that is but mirh....

i believe myrrh (sp?) is a burial spice.
2002-12-25 03:33:50 AM  
I can't think of any bad gifts I've ever received, but I got a trifecta of useless (to me) gifts this year. I'm on the Atkins Diet. What do I get for Xmas?
From Mom and Dad -- a food gift box that includes one tin of peppermint bark candy and another tin of cookies.
From one sister -- a picnic basket filled with several kinds of pasta and pasta sauces.
From the other sister -- a gift basket that includes yogurt raisins and other goodies.

Oh, and my next door neighbor gave me a loaf of banana bread and some fudge.

It's a good thing my wife isn't on Atkins. Someone has to eat all these goodies!

Oh well, I love them all. It just makes me smile, the way things worked out.

Merry Xmas to all, and to all a good night!
2002-12-25 03:36:14 AM  
A copy of Dianetics, by L. Ron Hubbard.

That was a joke gift, though, so I don't know if it counts.
2002-12-25 03:36:40 AM  
Er, well, um, if you're dropping by again, do pop in. Heh. And thanks a lot for the gold and frankincense, er, but don't worry too much about the myrrh next time. All right? Heh. Thank you. Good-bye.
2002-12-25 03:40:50 AM  
One year my mom got me some yellow- and black-striped slippers that were clearly from a bargain bin (my mom's favorite store is TJ Maxx). My then-wife was appalled, as was I. Just a hideous gift. But thanks mom!
2002-12-25 03:43:01 AM  
My Grandma got me a cooking with chocolate book, a book on how to deal with death in the family and a can of figs. I cooked a nice chocolate fig cake for her memorial service. :P
2002-12-25 03:43:07 AM  
Haha, Kurakaze, I've gotten a few of those too, but not as a joke, even though they are!
2002-12-25 03:45:12 AM  
It was a combined birthday (Dec 11)/ christmas gift.

Dec 10th, my girlfriend of a year (well just 12 days short of a year) told me that she didn't want a relationship anymore and that she was moving out of the apartment. She wanted to be able to spend more time with her friends. I also found out that she had cheated on me.

So this year's birthday and christmas SUCK!
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