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(Daily Mail)   Britain has such a chronic shortage of midwives that they are each forced to juggle three births at the same time. This might not be such a big problem were it not for the ceiling fans   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 56
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2946 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Sep 2008 at 6:40 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-09-22 03:23:02 AM
BEHOLD THE TERRORS OF SOCIALIZED MEDICINE: BABY JUGGLING!
 
2008-09-22 03:25:29 AM
+1 subby
 
2008-09-22 03:48:41 AM
You mean politicians and bureaucrats cant react quickly to market forces? I am sooo surprised.
 
2008-09-22 03:49:50 AM
Good show, subby, I lol'd there a bit.
 
2008-09-22 04:29:30 AM
I snickered just a little. +1
 
2008-09-22 06:48:17 AM
Don't worry. The government keeps saying they'll fix the problem. That's good enough for me.
 
2008-09-22 06:48:39 AM
LOL
 
2008-09-22 06:57:08 AM
Booooo!
 
2008-09-22 07:01:21 AM
I Lol'd. You win. If I could, you'd get +1 from me.
 
2008-09-22 07:04:51 AM
I am a huge fan of ceilings, but I don´t see the problem with juggling only three babys...four or five, yea maybe, one might drop, but three man c´mon midwives can do that...
 
2008-09-22 07:08:24 AM
You got a good chuckle out of me, subbypants.

Nicely played.

+1
 
2008-09-22 07:12:31 AM
Teeth.
 
2008-09-22 07:14:09 AM
Failing_Junk
Probably not the best time to be espousing the old 'free market will solve everything' bullsh*t.
Numpty.
 
2008-09-22 07:16:10 AM
It's only a slippery slope from there to here...
 
2008-09-22 07:17:11 AM
Failing_Junk: You mean politicians and bureaucrats cant react quickly to market forces? I am sooo surprised.

Even if it were a free market, where would new midwives come from ? Midwifery is a 3 year undergraduate course, and degree applications always lag demand regardless of the field.
 
2008-09-22 07:21:55 AM
staplermofo: BEHOLD THE TERRORS OF SOCIALIZED MEDICINE: BABY JUGGLING!

i83.photobucket.com

I LOL'd
 
2008-09-22 07:33:06 AM
Cue the clowncar memes in 3.....2......
 
2008-09-22 07:43:38 AM
...and the umbilical cords get tangled.
 
2008-09-22 07:44:26 AM
So why are the word "Nanny State" missing from the headline?
 
2008-09-22 07:50:49 AM
They need to follow Obama's plan of mandatory volunteer service to the community! Everyone will be happy! There will be enough midwives to go around, and no one is forced to do anything they dont want to, after all, it is voluntary.
 
2008-09-22 07:51:05 AM
Type40 Because this is the weekly 'socialized healthcare' thread. Nanny State is more usefully employed to get greenlights on otherwise unremarkable stories or unfunny headlines.
 
2008-09-22 08:07:09 AM
or pregnant women could just go to a hospital... one that has a machine that goes "PING!"
 
2008-09-22 08:12:52 AM
Iron Chef Scottish: Failing_Junk
Probably not the best time to be espousing the old 'free market will solve everything' bullsh*t.
Numpty.


Why not? Government involvement in the form of bad regulation earlier, handouts to finance and other corporate interests more recently, and gigantic unconstitutional bailouts now is what ruined our economy. There's nothing free about that market, much as I'd like to believe in what's left of the US.
 
2008-09-22 08:14:53 AM
Type40: So why are the word "Nanny State" missing from the headline?

The Nanny state is overworked. Too many headlines, not enough nannies
 
2008-09-22 08:15:13 AM
Marry me, subby? So long as you're a girl?
 
2008-09-22 08:30:07 AM
That headline is a winner.
 
2008-09-22 08:41:49 AM
+1. Best HL of the week.
 
2008-09-22 08:42:37 AM
Ceiling fans?


Never been to the UK obviously.
 
2008-09-22 08:46:40 AM
Tentacle: or pregnant women could just go to a hospital... one that has a machine that goes "PING!"

I came in here to say that.
 
2008-09-22 08:47:04 AM
Iron Chef Scottish: Failing_Junk
Probably not the best time to be espousing the old 'free market will solve everything' bullsh*t.
Numpty.


You know who else believed the market would solve everything...

...that's right... Andrew Ryan.
 
2008-09-22 08:47:40 AM
sigersonic: Ceiling fans?

Never been to the UK obviously.


No, we use a punkah operated by an elderly Indian gentleman.
 
2008-09-22 08:58:20 AM
Any yet, in February this year, we had three midwives attend our daughters birth at home*, all NHS, all part of the standard procedure here and similar to our son's birth 3 years earlier.

Hmmm.

Personal experience, vs. Daily Mail fear mongering...

I guess I must have remembered it wrong.


*Voluntarily!
 
2008-09-22 09:00:01 AM
P.S. +1 to subby anyway ;-)
 
2008-09-22 09:05:45 AM
mungo: Any yet, in February this year, we had three midwives attend our daughters birth at home*, all NHS, all part of the standard procedure here and similar to our son's birth 3 years earlier.

Personal experience, vs. Daily Mail fear mongering...


Yep, this.

We (well, She) lasted through 3 shifts of midwives, and had each one to herself the whole time - then a farking huge team appeared 10 seconds after the delivery.....
 
2008-09-22 09:12:20 AM
portscanner: They need to follow Obama's plan of mandatory volunteer service to the community! Everyone will be happy! There will be enough midwives to go around, and no one is forced to do anything they dont want to, after all, it is voluntary.

Heh. That reminds me of a plan currently under the supervision of a certain well-known Con Law professor at UC Irvine: increase the demand for public interest lawyers (and thus increase their salaries and make public interest law more appealing) by increasing the supply of them. What could possibly go wrong??
 
2008-09-22 09:26:10 AM
I roflcoptered till a baby got caught in the blades.
 
2008-09-22 09:27:46 AM
Michael Phelps would have been a happier british champion. He could eat corn through his tennis raquet in peace.
 
2008-09-22 09:52:23 AM
Although some areas are experiencing a baby boom, with birthrates rising by up to 20 per cen

Uh... What's this mean? 20 percent of what? 20% of people in Britain are giving birth right now? I doubt that.
 
2008-09-22 10:02:05 AM
Baby Juggling!

farm4.static.flickr.com
 
2008-09-22 10:13:31 AM
headstone:

Uh, why is that guy naked???
 
2008-09-22 10:17:58 AM
PandaGurl: Uh, why is that guy naked???

The sculpture's in the grounds of NAMBLA's London office.
 
2008-09-22 10:22:38 AM
FarkinNortherner: The sculpture's in the grounds of NAMBLA's London office.

Seriously???

/that ain't right
 
2008-09-22 10:22:57 AM
FarkinNortherner: Failing_Junk: You mean politicians and bureaucrats cant react quickly to market forces? I am sooo surprised.

Even if it were a free market, where would new midwives come from ? Midwifery is a 3 year undergraduate course, and degree applications always lag demand regardless of the field.


The problem isn't the shortage of midwives being trained it's the job vacancies on offer. There's a lot that get through the degree only to find it impossible to get a job (hundreds going for only a handful of jobs). Local health authorities are cutting the number of midvies employed and using the nursing assistants as they are half the price.

Top tip is to go for an emergency checkup to see how understaffed they really are then there's always time to pick another hospital.
 
2008-09-22 10:31:02 AM
"The Business of Being Born"
a not-horrendous documentary on this sort of thing.
More geared to America, and admittedly totally lacking in baby-juggling.

/nice, Subby
 
2008-09-22 10:43:56 AM
My wife just had a baby on the couch that I'm typing this from, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

/no srsly
//Saturday, 12:45pm EDT
///Girl, 7 lbs 14 oz, 19.5"
////homebirth FTW
 
2008-09-22 11:10:18 AM
Actually, they're aiming for the ceiling fans. Faster than letting two go to spank the third for a squeal.
Just throw 'em all up and go smackity-smack, done in 5 secs flat!

I'd say they're showing a remarkable ingeniousness in coping with the situation.

/only a Liter, but still a +1 to smitty
 
2008-09-22 11:11:32 AM
addendum

Thinking outside the box, you know...

/yes, that was a horrible pun but it was funny enough in my own head to throw it at ya'll anyways!
//... so... there!
 
2008-09-22 11:34:21 AM
Goimir: My wife just had a baby on the couch that I'm typing this from, so I'm really getting a kick out of these replies.

Isn't all that bloody goo getting all over your pants?
 
2008-09-22 11:38:49 AM
I'm pregnant and living in Britain, so I'm getting a kick...

oh, out of these replies as well. :)
 
2008-09-22 11:39:44 AM
I hope I'm not too late to ask a question:

Is the shortage of midwives over there because of the same trouble they have in the US? US malpractice insurance for midwives (and MD OB's) is insane, making it financially unpleasant to choose this specialty. A NP can take home far more (and with far less risk of having the scrubs sued off of her/him)not to mention better hours, in another specialty.
 
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