Subby's not a poet, and didn't even...realize it.

dustman81: Subby had the meter until the last verse

"A TV presenter (a Brit) / Made people so mad they could spit / Her mutt did a poop / She neglected to scoop / The police got into a snit"

would work.


So you don't see what subby did there?

dustman81: "A TV presenter (a Brit) / Made people so mad they could spit / Her mutt did a poop / She neglected to scoop / And so she got into really deep trouble

FTFY so you get the joke Subby was trying to make.

awesome stuff, subby. Would read again!

SilentStrider: took me a second to get subby's joke in the final line, but good one.

Yeah. I figured most people would come here to post about how stupid the headline was without realizing that they didn't get the joke. Good on you SilentStrider and good on you subby.

dustman81: Subby had the meter until the last verse

LadyHawke: Someone doesn't know how to write a limerick.



beve: So you don't see what subby did there?

Teh last lien doesent rhyme lol!

burma shave?

Ha! That took me a second, too. Well done!

*makes barfing motion at headline, hopes no one she knows posted it*

I just hope those cops have rolls of black bin bags to clean up after their horses.

/Actually horse shiat isn't nearly as nasty as dog shiat.
//Have a labrador and grew up around horses, so I knows about shiat shovelling and big turds.

Awesome, Subby. Just awesome.

Mary had a little lamb
that was always gruntin'
She tied it to a five bar gate
and kicked its little head in.

ethics-gradient: I just hope those cops have rolls of black bin bags to clean up after their horses.

/Actually horse shiat isn't nearly as nasty as dog shiat.
//Have a labrador and grew up around horses, so I knows about shiat shovelling and big turds.

Having multiple mastiffs, I know a thing or two about shoveling shiat. And having pledged a fraternity, I know a lot about shoveling shiat.

Russell Brand?

Evidently the subby made a right turn just before the obvious scatological last word.

I've got a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into the bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of SHaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

It's not funny if you have to explain it.

I, however did find the headline very funny.

Grammur natzis - bite me.

There once was a evil young Farker,
Who laughed when he heard Travis Barker,
Nearly died in a blaze,
He was laughing for days,
'Cause those terrible tats look much darker.

/It's astonishing how few rhymes there are for "Farker"... :/

+2, Subby!

/Because +1 is only pee, people!

Arthur the Sandwich Maker: There once was a evil young Farker,
Who laughed when he heard Travis Barker,
Nearly died in a blaze,
He was laughing for days,
'Cause those terrible tats look much darker.

/It's astonishing how few rhymes there are for "Farker"... :/

Larker, marker, parker, sharker, snarker, quarker, sparker, starker?

But your limerick is creative, FWIW.

Don't listen to the critics, subby. That headline was awesome.

....now she's in the dog coop.

The Dogs of War: burma shave?

Classic. Tom Waits would be proud.

HA HA!
I got the headline so I'm better than the ones who didn't.

Good to know there's so many poetry experts on Fark.

/is a poetry expert
//didn't have any problems with the headline
///really getting a kick out of these replies

To all those saying the smitty sucks at limericks.... subtlety is lost on you apparently.

Juniper Jupiter: Larker, marker, parker, sharker, snarker, quarker, sparker, starker?

Some of those aren't even words! Though "sparkler" might have worked in the context...

But your limerick is creative, FWIW.

Cheers. Can't touch whatshisname though, the guy who regularly comments in verse. His epic poem based on the Ballsack/Chair event was just stunning.

Heroic Poser: I got the headline so I'm better than the ones who didn't.

It does imply a superior level of comprehension, so, yes... :)

There once was a man from Japan
whose limericks just wouldn't scan.
When asked why this was,
he answered, "Because
I always cram as many syllables into the last line as I possibly can."

/Not mine
//Oldie but goodie

What the fark is Heavily Pregnant?

pc_gator: What the fark is Heavily Pregnant?

Something Palin never was? Hang your head, first three posters.


/even if the filter somehow gets that, be ashamed

+1 subby. Reminds me of one student's poem in English class:

Spider, spider, big and tall
Spider, spider, on the wall
Spider, that wall's just been plastered!
Get of that wall, you silly spider!

She should have said it was hers. Pregnant women are allowed by law to relieve themselves anywhere, including a police officers helmet or hat.

Meta-limericks:

A decrepit old gasman, named Peter
Whilst reading a leaky gas meter
Touched the leak with his light
Blew himself out of sight
And as everyone who knows anything about poetry can tell you he also ruined the meter.


A king who was mad at the time
Decreed limerick writing a crime
But late in the night
All the poets would write
Verses without any rhyme or meter


There once was a man of St. Bees
Who was stung on the arm by a wasp.
When asked, "Does it hurt?"
He replied, "No it doesn't.
I'm so glad it wasn't a hornet."


There once was a man from the sticks
Who liked to compose limericks.
But he failed at the sport,
For he wrote 'em too short.


There was a young man from Hong Kong
Who found limericks much too long.
He got to line three


There was a young man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two


There was a young man of Verdun

shaving cream for carrot

Arthur the Sandwich Maker: Juniper Jupiter: Larker, marker, parker, sharker, snarker, quarker, sparker, starker?

Some of those aren't even words! Though "sparkler" might have worked in the context...

But your limerick is creative, FWIW.

Cheers. Can't touch whatshisname though, the guy who regularly comments in verse. His epic poem based on the Ballsack/Chair event was just stunning.



I was taking a page from Shel Silverstein! When he made prose, he made it stick...even if it meant pulling the word out of his ass...and it worked!! :D

For my words...not so much! :P

LazerFish: I've got a sad story to tell you
It may hurt your feelings a bit
Last night when I walked into the bathroom
I stepped in a big pile of SHaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Dr. Demento FTW!

My mother fell out of a window
You think she would be in a fit
But mother, she is OK now
She fell in a big pile of Shhhhhaving cream
Be nice and clean
Shave every day and you'll always look keen.

Reminds me of a Mad Movies episode I wathced as a kid. There was a song that went:

"I had a cat
Imagine that
He ran away
From me one day
I found him in the grass
So I spanked his butt."

I was in 4th grade, but thought it was the height of comedy.

Awesome headline.

Spring has spring
Fall has fell
So take off your coat
It's hotter than usual.

/from my 8th grade teacher, thanks Mr. Bunker

RE: Saborlas

Eddie Valiant:
I'm through with taking falls
I'm bouncing off the walls
Without that gun
I'd have some fun
And kick you in the... [gets knocked out]

Roger Rabbit:
Nose!