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(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Implantable devices could become humans' "black boxes"   ( divider line
    More: Cool  
•       •       •

4199 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2002 at 7:57 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

155 Comments     (+0 »)

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2002-12-23 03:18:23 PM  
Mine will say I had my flaps in the wrong position on take off.
2002-12-23 06:33:12 PM  
This has "Big Brother" potential written all over it.
2002-12-23 08:00:03 PM  
Do they blink red when you turn thirty?
2002-12-23 08:00:25 PM  
Will there be pop-ups?
2002-12-23 08:00:50 PM  
If you live to 100, does the odometer turn over?
2002-12-23 08:00:55 PM  
What kind of retarded nazi thinks this is cool?
2002-12-23 08:01:37 PM  
*cough*Dumass says Bible*cough*
2002-12-23 08:01:40 PM  
Why is that sequence of questions funnier than the sum of its parts?
2002-12-23 08:01:54 PM  
"If they're so indestructible,why don't they make the whole thing out of a black box?"
2002-12-23 08:01:57 PM  
This isn't cool.

Unless you're the Government and you want to monitor everybody.

Or unless you're just a Nazi in general
2002-12-23 08:03:56 PM  
I kinda expected this knee-jerk paranoia.

Read Robert J. Sawyer's Hominids for an application of this technology that does not involve Big Brother.
2002-12-23 08:04:06 PM  
2002-12-23 08:04:11 PM  
I propose we call these "Ashcroft Devices."
2002-12-23 08:04:38 PM  
Black box material is to heavy to make the plane out of it.

They could save time and just inject infants with these. Then, it could release poison if the infant looks like it might be a democrat or a negro. Republican conspiracy.
2002-12-23 08:04:45 PM  
You Plagerizing Bastard!
2002-12-23 08:04:59 PM  
I think it is cool, as long as you keep spyware outta there. I, for one, would like to know what's going on in my liver.

But if everyone's going to be living so much longer & more healthily, (yeah, that's what I said) than hadn't we better find a back-up planet?
2002-12-23 08:05:02 PM  
Uh, it only records bodily functions. It does not tell anybody where you are at any moment, no big brother involved here I think. But that cell phone hooked to your belt will tell them where your are in a minute because you leave it on and it constantly is sending a signal out, so everyone burn your cell phones.
2002-12-23 08:05:05 PM  

What the hell makes you think it wouldn't be used to monitor people?

Hell, let's give everybody MIND CONTROL DRUGS so they won't commit crimes, or maybe we can just arrest them before they commit crimes, wouldn't that be COOL.

2002-12-23 08:05:41 PM  
The 'black box' is simply thick steel inside a flame retardant bladder.
2002-12-23 08:06:02 PM  

Beat you to it! :P

If I, for instance, were to be murdered, I'd like to have a black box onhand so that the bastards could be tracked down.

Makes a great deterrant, if used properly.
2002-12-23 08:07:23 PM  
I agree, Canada Rules.
2002-12-23 08:07:55 PM  
Why did I think of this when I read that headline?

[image from too old to be available]

I know hers are real (or at least I'd hope) but still...
2002-12-23 08:08:10 PM  
Let's just hope we can pull data off this thing.

[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-23 08:08:11 PM  
Remember kids, it's the evil weed that's making you paranoid.
2002-12-23 08:08:41 PM  
ROCKSURFER writes: Uh, it only records bodily functions.

And, because government is inherently good and would never spy on its own citizens, this technology couldn't possibly be used improperly. Thanks for clearing that up, ROCKSURFER.
2002-12-23 08:09:22 PM  
That girl has tragic posture.
2002-12-23 08:09:59 PM  
Valkhorn, Grivas

I think Halle Berry when I think "black box." But, hey, that's just me.
2002-12-23 08:10:02 PM  

I resent that.
2002-12-23 08:10:04 PM  
Grivas, thats a little too see through...
2002-12-23 08:12:00 PM  

Oh so what is it going to do, tell them that you pick your nose and like killing alot of kittins?
2002-12-23 08:13:36 PM  
It's not that see through. What you are seeing is the result of wishful thinking.

if only that were Colene....
2002-12-23 08:14:14 PM  

kinda expected this knee-jerk paranoia."


 If you're *not* paranoid by now... you
haven't been paying attention.

[image from too old to be available]


2002-12-23 08:14:29 PM  
I think we can both agree about that "if only," Grivas...


So... um... where was I?
2002-12-23 08:15:53 PM  
ROCKSURFER: If tells them just once that I've picked my nose (or whatever), that's too much.
2002-12-23 08:17:18 PM  
Um, no thanks... next step, we'll be being plugged into machines...
2002-12-23 08:17:57 PM  
ROCKSURFER asks: Oh so what is it going to do, tell them that you pick your nose and like killing alot of kittins?

First, my kitten killing is public knowledge. Second, it doesn't seem too far fetched that implantables could be used for nefarious purposes without the host's knowledge or consent.
2002-12-23 08:18:19 PM  
i'm sure some liberal out there is trying to figure out how to make everything like a little black box. that way we'll all be safe from everything everywhere.
2002-12-23 08:18:40 PM  

I just had a George Bush moment. Make that "implants."
2002-12-23 08:18:50 PM  
Now I can call the police on myself after smoking a bowl, without even realizing I did it!

Thanks Big Brother!!
2002-12-23 08:25:32 PM  
I guess all these women that got implants have something more than what they bargined for floating around in thier chests? Now there's an idea, you'll know where your boobies are at all times.
2002-12-23 08:27:53 PM  
2002-12-23 08:29:54 PM  
Johnny Mnemonic surrenders
2002-12-23 08:31:27 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

Black Box
2002-12-23 08:34:17 PM  
Invade my privacy. I got nothing to hide. *deletes warez* *hides milk crates* *moves medicine and household objects which SHOULD NOT be within reach of children* *is afraid to think "Dubya is limiting our freedoms in fear of spontaneous combustion" *
2002-12-23 08:47:30 PM  
I implanted part of myself into a black box once.

Actually, I didn't. I got nothin'.
2002-12-23 08:48:05 PM  
My major is biomedical engineering, so I'm taking classes in how to design these things when I finally get out into industry. I recently did a research paper on the loop recorders that the article mentions. All they are is a minuturized implantable version of the old ones that had a belt mounted recorder with electrode leads that were taped on to the patients chest. These are better because they don't have any external mechanisms that have to be worn or can be damaged by the environment (i.e. many of the old external ones had to be taken off when the person was in a shower, which was a problem since the heart events that the recorders were supposed to detect can happen at any time). Implantable devices like this are the wave of the future, but are unlikely to be have any other devices piggy backed in on them anytime soon. Obviously the idea is to make them as small as possible and to eliminated any extra components. The smaller the device the easier the operation to implant and remove the device. Many implantable pacemakers can now be put into a patient through minor surgery and endoscopic procedures theough the ribs so that surgeons don't have to open up the rib cage. Some people have their tinfoil hats on a little too tightly.
2002-12-23 08:49:25 PM  
Deevo, milkcrates! Heh heh.
2002-12-23 08:50:06 PM just better pray those mattress tags are firmly affixed.
2002-12-23 08:51:00 PM  
Investigator: Well, what did he die of?

Coroner: He died of an infection caused by a foreign body being implanted in his skin.

Investigator: Oh, the irony...
2002-12-23 08:51:16 PM  
Sheeshiat's just a glorified heart monitor. It's not like it's going to spy on you in the toilet or anything.
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