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(Boston Globe)   Man sues grocery store chain over tuna can assault   ( divider line
    More: Weird  
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5492 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Dec 2002 at 11:12 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

40 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-12-23 11:14:49 AM  
Does it taste like chicken?
2002-12-23 11:15:12 AM  
sue everybody
2002-12-23 11:15:46 AM  
I prefer
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-23 11:16:19 AM  
Didn't Crocodile Dundee do that to a mugger?
2002-12-23 11:16:21 AM  
*evil laugh*

Yes, my nefarious plan is coming together nicely!
2002-12-23 11:17:46 AM  
Dang it the store should have known better than to put cans of tuna on the shelves without proper trigger locks on them. Of course it's the stores responsibility, and not the a-hole who through the can.
Besides the stores got more money.
2002-12-23 11:19:37 AM  
"Do you plan, or have you in the past planned, to assault one of our employees? No? Ok, c'mon in. NEXT! Do you plan....."

"Drop the tuna and put you hands on your head!"

I lack ideas (but at least I can say the same thing, but not use some tired cliche)
2002-12-23 11:19:40 AM  
That will teach him to mess with the Dolphin Gang.
2002-12-23 11:19:49 AM  
Shea suffered a fractured nose and bruises to the ribs and lower back.

That must've been one helluva big can of tuna. It sounds more like he got beaten repeatedly with it.

When tuna is outlawed, only outlaws will have lunch.
2002-12-23 11:20:32 AM  
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-23 11:20:59 AM  
Somebody opened up a can of whoop ass. Or was it tuna?
2002-12-23 11:21:36 AM  
sounds fishy

John Carmean
Automated Santa
2002-12-23 11:22:12 AM  
Just think, soon the stores will start goin out of business because the Tuna Assault insurance will be exorbitantly high. Eventually, no place willh be safe from the long reach of the stupidly litigious.

Seriously, one almost has to wonder if we aren't seeing the birth of a new religion: The Latter Day Suits.
2002-12-23 11:23:21 AM  
/Paul Hogan....

That's not a tuna...

This is a tuna
[image from too old to be available]
2002-12-23 11:24:42 AM  
Did you hear about the crime spree at the grocery store?

The eggs got beat, the coffe was mugged, and the peanuts were as-salt-ed.

2002-12-23 11:25:03 AM  
The store manager was overheard to have told the customer "Sorry Charlie"
2002-12-23 11:27:30 AM  

He can still have sex with goats.

2002-12-23 11:28:10 AM  
... and somebody beat Alto_reed_on_a_tenor_sax to death with a bag of charcoal briquettes.
2002-12-23 11:30:02 AM  
Hey, at least it wasn't a can of Campbell's Chunky Chicken Soup!

/got nuttin'
2002-12-23 11:32:19 AM  
According to the lawsuit, Timothy Filteau Jr. entered the store on Oct. 4, 1999, picked up a tuna can from a display and threw it at Shea's face. Shea suffered a fractured nose and bruises to the ribs and lower back.

From one can of tuna? This was either a large can of tuna or a very small man. Or perhaps there was a second can-thrower, just behind the paper towel display....
2002-12-23 11:33:38 AM  
Candypants:- I assume he fell over backwards after being twatted with the tuna. He's probably also suing due to the lack of a padded floor.
2002-12-23 11:36:39 AM  
Should've gone all out and thrown a jar of mayo and some onions...Mmmm. Lunchtime!
2002-12-23 11:37:40 AM  
Yeah, Jay_vee, that does make sense. But it's much funnier when I picture a midget getting cans hurled at him from two sources in a grocery store.

2002-12-23 11:38:24 AM  
Tuna the other lethal weapon.
2002-12-23 11:39:22 AM  
It's funny, because it's a midget. An excellent general rule that will improve any comedy.
2002-12-23 11:40:13 AM  
That was a follow-on from CandyPants' comment, in case you all think I've gone mental.
2002-12-23 11:41:39 AM  
Now the assaulted is chicken of the sea.
2002-12-23 11:42:45 AM  
If it really stung... it was Bumblebee Tuna
2002-12-23 11:43:20 AM  
I support the 'second thrower' theory.
This whole thing reeks of conspiracy.
that, and tunafish
2002-12-23 11:43:23 AM  
Damn, Diogenes beat me to it. That must have been a whoop ass can of tuna to do that kind of damage. Where is the cry for regulating cans of tuna in the market? Join the National Tuna Association now to protect your right to have tuna in your home and car.
2002-12-23 11:44:50 AM  
2002-12-23 11:49:56 AM  
"He hates these cans!"
2002-12-23 12:03:20 PM  
Sorry Charle, we like dumbass's this year.
2002-12-23 12:08:13 PM  
My girlfriend often attacks me with tuna....
2002-12-23 12:32:21 PM  
Do people just lie awake at night and try to think of inane things to sue over?

"There was no warning on the fingernail clippers stating that clipping nails to close to the skin would cause possible cuts and bleeding."
2002-12-23 12:56:53 PM  
I wonder how she got a factured nose and a hip injury...
2002-12-23 01:16:36 PM  
Just another case of an employee bringing a lawsuit just because they got canned.
2002-12-23 01:18:17 PM  
hmmmm-Those damn dolphin's are behind this. I know it..
2002-12-23 01:41:10 PM  
Was he driving a red Volvo?
2002-12-23 05:16:23 PM  
i think the store is definitely responsible -- i moonlight in the wonderful world of retail, and most of the customers are generally friendly and reasonable but some of them are total a-holes and have caused problems in the past. if one of those customers made a specific threat to me and i brought it up to management i would consider them warned -- if i ended up getting hurt or even seriously harassed by them again, hell yeah i'd sue the pants off of them.
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