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(Some Guy)   Oral sex study finds that people only read the first two words of web headlines   (chronicle.com) divider line 70
    More: Obvious  
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10680 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 Sep 2008 at 3:22 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-09-18 11:18:07 PM  
Um... I'm here for the oral sex?
 
2008-09-18 11:31:01 PM  
It worked.
 
2008-09-19 12:11:03 AM  
Fascinating article. I hadn't really noticed it until I read it, but I really do tend to read in an "F" pattern when faced with webpages that lack formatting.
\might explain that "F" pattern on my report cards, too
\\kidding
\\\have never actually failed a class
 
2008-09-19 12:15:08 AM  
Awesome.
Well played, subby.
 
2008-09-19 12:51:36 AM  
I tried to read the article but the lack of formatting made it too difficult. Interesting stuff about how people don't really read the internet, not too surprising though.

If we really do read in an F, kinda makes all those links on the right hand side of this website kinda pointless. Maybe Fark should redesign its website.

/just kidding, i like it.
 
2008-09-19 01:11:52 AM  
I don't know what the article was about, but I feel all hot and bothered now
 
2008-09-19 01:50:05 AM  
I did this with newspapers long before I encountered the web. Damn little seems worth my time for reading in intensive and attentive detail, especially with the "It's Not News It's FARK" output of the modern media.

Similarly, I haven't listened to presidential candidate debates since Reagan. Instead, I made a point to buy a paper with the transcript and read it carefully. This year I didn't even bother with that, and merely skimmed the transcripts; no matter what the candidates said and whoever the parties nominated would not be able to overcome or sway my vote compared to the effect of President Bush's administration.

On the other hand... it is a bad habit. Reading other stuff for "fun" helps break it.
 
2008-09-19 02:07:29 AM  
Hahahahahaha

That is an awesome headline subby.
 
2008-09-19 02:11:20 AM  
Headline of the year, for sure. You are full of both win and awesome, subby.
 
2008-09-19 02:15:30 AM  
I lol'd
 
2008-09-19 03:33:09 AM  
Usually it's because you realize after a few words whether the rest is worth reading.

/awesome headline, subby.
 
2008-09-19 03:41:13 AM  
Wait, this article wasn't about oral sex! Subby tricked me!
 
2008-09-19 03:41:30 AM  
I read the whole headline and since it made no sense clicked on the article, then read the first two words. I'm done here.
 
2008-09-19 04:01:59 AM  
In the eye-tracking test, only one in six subjects read Web pages linearly, sentence by sentence. The rest jumped around chasing keywords, bullet points, visuals, and color and typeface variations.

That would explain quite a bit about our Politics Tab's threads.
 
2008-09-19 04:09:41 AM  
I wonder how many of us Farkers will actually "slow-read" through the article.

A good read, albeit hard on a screen (or isn't that the point?)

Also, a GREAT headline, +1 subby
 
2008-09-19 04:12:15 AM  
www.mostphotos.com

Interesting. I just chased the visuals and keywords.

/Especially the visuals
 
2008-09-19 04:25:37 AM  
Well played sir, well played.

/+1
 
2008-09-19 04:26:19 AM  
Kudos on the headline.
 
2008-09-19 04:36:35 AM  
i for one welcome our oral sex overlords... ill be waiting in my bunk
 
2008-09-19 04:44:21 AM  
Having attempted to RFA, let me just say, it doesn't help the cause of 'reading' (what? for reading's sake?) if you write overly wordy, boring and whiny articles. I mean, the author is (somewhere in there) complaining about people not reading literature. Newsflash: this article is hardly the great american novel!
 
2008-09-19 04:45:10 AM  
Will there be spanking first?
 
2008-09-19 04:55:59 AM  
moof: Having attempted to RFA, let me just say, it doesn't help the cause of 'reading' (what? for reading's sake?) if you write overly wordy, boring and whiny articles. I mean, the author is (somewhere in there) complaining about people not reading literature. Newsflash: this article is hardly the great american novel!

Aw... Does The Chronicle of Higher Education use too many long and fancy words for you?
 
2008-09-19 05:12:48 AM  
tl;dr

/heh blowjorbs
 
2008-09-19 05:53:19 AM  
Cornwell: moof: Having attempted to RFA, let me just say, it doesn't help the cause of 'reading' (what? for reading's sake?) if you write overly wordy, boring and whiny articles. I mean, the author is (somewhere in there) complaining about people not reading literature. Newsflash: this article is hardly the great american novel!

Aw... Does The Chronicle of Higher Education use too many long and fancy words for you?


Meh, 1/10. Bad writing is bad writing. And this is bad writing. The most fancy word in there was 'transformative' and it's only used in the namedropping of Heidegger.

It might have helped if the author would have chosen what kind of article it was supposed to be in the first place. It starts out with some factoids posing to be a digest/review of research, but I think you'll agree it's not quite up to the standards of peer reviewed academic journals (not that Mark Bauerlein has ever published in one of those). Then it just twaddles on a bit, until finally we get to some editorial business about kids not reading enough, or at least, not reading the right things; holding up literature as the gold standard.

If that's the point of the whole article, the author might have wanted to tip us off in the introduction. It's not a novel with a twist ending, is it?

I don't see any of the hallmarks of a great essay; of a piece of literature; of a journal-worthy scientific article; or even a letter. It's a pulp piece that adds nothing to human development.

So to those exclaiming "TL;DR" - I salute you!

And the author comes off as a Luddite for having "meas-ured" hyphenated with a hard hyphen. Learn to use a word processor.
 
2008-09-19 06:26:44 AM  
Um... I'm here for the oral sex?

That's what she said!
 
2008-09-19 07:01:06 AM  
SAMAS: Will there be spanking first?

I came in here to say that.

I'll come in here anyway
/zing!
 
2008-09-19 07:44:32 AM  
This is the second really good headline I've seen today - and it's early yet.
 
2008-09-19 07:48:29 AM  
I must say...there have been some damn fine headlines in the queue today.
 
2008-09-19 07:54:10 AM  
Where is the oral sex in this thread? The headline said "oral sex" dammit!
 
2008-09-19 09:00:35 AM  
bingethinker: Um... I'm here for the oral sex?

That's what she said!


It occurs to me that's why The Old StarTrek women's uniforms were SO SHORT. No delay getting a tongue to where it can do some good before the ship blows up around you...
 
2008-09-19 09:26:51 AM  
I read three words ... got to "oral sex study", and was then interested in how one applies to participate in such a study. The article was a great disappointment.

/heh heh, beej
 
2008-09-19 09:29:42 AM  
DECMATH: bingethinker: Um... I'm here for the oral sex?

That's what she said!

It occurs to me that's why The Old StarTrek women's uniforms were SO SHORT. No delay getting a tongue to where it can do some good before the ship blows up around you...


yes.. it had nothing to do with the fact that it needed something to keep nerds interested after they discovered the god-awful acting and storylines.

/yeah, i went there
 
2008-09-19 09:36:37 AM  
"Oral sex study finds that people only read the first two words of web headlines"

Wrong, subby. I read the first 3 words, then started wondering where I needed to go to participate in the study.
 
2008-09-19 10:52:24 AM  
Great. Now I have to go look at porn.
 
2008-09-19 11:30:21 AM  
um, I came here for what?, I got sidetracked.
 
2008-09-19 11:47:49 AM  
You win the internets, subby :-D
 
2008-09-19 11:56:27 AM  
LonMead: Interesting. I just chased the visuals and keywords.

/Especially the visuals


....Those teeth kind of ruin it.
 
2008-09-19 12:05:26 PM  
Came for the BJ... hoping the barber (errr...salon stylist) calls "NEXT" real soon!
 
2008-09-19 12:10:44 PM  
I was gonna post the "hotel coral essex" sign from revenge of the nerds II, but the GIS is failing me
 
2008-09-19 12:21:21 PM  
This Thread Is Worthless Without....wait...what?!?!? Damn you subby...DAMN YOU!
 
2008-09-19 12:31:36 PM  
I see what you did there subby.

But true to form. I looked at the article, read about 2 seconds worth and then closed the page.
 
2008-09-19 12:55:46 PM  
The author is a tool.

Or more precisely, the author is a humanities professor who does not understand the volume of reading done by many in the real world for whom reading is more of a means to an end, viz. extracting information for pragmatic purposes -- finding a piece of data, solving a problem, extracting a useful statistic.

I don't untangle metaphors at work, I treat patients, and boy, do I skim the hell out of two, three, twelve articles to find what I need for a thorny case. Any technical person probably does the majority of their reading in an analogous fashion.

FTFA:
What we are seeing is a strange flattening of the act of reading. It equates handheld screens with Madame Bovary, as if they made the same cognitive demands and inculcated the same habits of attention. It casts peeking at a text message and plowing through Middlemarch as subsets of one general activity. And it treats those quick bursts of words and icons as fully sufficient to sustain the reading culture.

I've read Middlemarch, and I assure you, plowing through it was not worth it.

I am unpleasantly aware that my current reading methods have made my leisure reading sparser and much, much more difficult. But real-world demands necessitate that purpose-driven reading -- not analyzing a text for it's own sake -- take on this new "F" style.

Future humanities Ph.D.s are free to read as slowly and linearly as they like. They don't have other work to do.
 
2008-09-19 12:56:58 PM  
I am confused.. Where is the oral sex?

//didn't read article
//didn't read entire headline
 
2008-09-19 01:02:07 PM  
Reading that will make a fella late.
 
2008-09-19 01:12:27 PM  
+1

TLDR
 
2008-09-19 01:14:45 PM  
+1 Subby... you win
 
2008-09-19 01:41:07 PM  
www.promotetheband.com
 
2008-09-19 01:44:59 PM  
no oral sex, no pictures of any kind........
i was robbed. ahhhhhhhh
 
2008-09-19 01:46:11 PM  
I'm staying at the Hotel Coral Essex, so I'm getting a kick ....
 
2008-09-19 01:46:56 PM  
Reytron: I was gonna post the "hotel coral essex" sign from revenge of the nerds II, but the GIS is failing me

*shakes nerdy fist*
 
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