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(Some 4th Grader)   Latest domestic terror threat: Pencil Sharpeners   (thestate.com) divider line 36
    More: Asinine  
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6029 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Sep 2008 at 5:33 PM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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Archived thread
 
2008-09-11 02:26:46 PM
i28.photobucket.com
 
2008-09-11 02:37:48 PM
That tiny "blade" isn't the issue here. It's obvious that this future terrorist was trying to obtain the dreaded POINTED STICK!! If there was any justice in the world he'd be on his way to Gitmo at this very moment.
 
2008-09-11 02:44:03 PM
When pencil sharpeners are outlawed only outlaws will have pencil sharpeners (and sharp pencils).
 
2008-09-11 03:02:10 PM
How much is enough? Apparently some people thought that this was okay and reasonable. What's wrong with us? I don't have a damned clue about what to do. I'm just tired of this shiat.
 
2008-09-11 03:13:47 PM
DslainteC: That tiny "blade" isn't the issue here. It's obvious that this future terrorist was trying to obtain the dreaded POINTED STICK!! If there was any justice in the world he'd be on his way to Gitmo at this very moment.

What? Had he even been trained on defending himself against an assailant brandishing a pomegranite yet?
 
2008-09-11 03:20:56 PM
Headlines from the Future

Scores expelled in terrorist "rescuer" plot
May 12, 2009
Springfield (AP)
What an unaware observer might have called "heroism" was correctly identified by school administrators as a potentially devastating act of gang-related terrorism yesterday in suburban Springfield.

After a passenger airliner lost altitude and crashed into the kindergarten section of J. Joyce Elementary School, older students quickly ran to the tangled pile of rubble and armed themselves with sharp pieces of metal, wood, and glass, and tossed deadly pieces of concrete around in what Principal Hugh Jegoh called a clear violation of the school's "zero tolerance" rules regarding weapon possession on campus.

At least ten 5th graders, and several known members of the organized gang known as "BSA Troop 596" converged on the scene of mayhem soon after the crash, police officials said. By the time authorities were able to enter the area, eyewitnesses say that the youths had been holding, carrying, and even throwing the makeshift weapons around for some period of time, and many of them were covered in blood from the dead and injured at the scene.

After the melee, police and rescue workers recovered over 50 bodies of individuals who had died at the scene. A fire official, who asked not to be identified, told reporters that most of the dead had wounds "just like those that could have been inflicted" by the weapons wielded by the students and "Scouts".

Several of the students involved in the violation said that they were only "trying to help save my brother", and "get this d--n stuff of of the little kids". According to one unnamed boy dressed in full "Scout" colors, he was "rendering first aid", which school officials say could be code for a gang attack. None of the excuses sat well with school officials.

"Unbelievable. Just unbelievable," responded School Superintendent H. "Ed" Upaz, when asked how it could have been possible for so many students to be in possession of potentially lethal weapons at one time. "They won't be able to do this ever again", he added, noting that all of the students and gang members had been summarily expelled from the school system, and were being held without bond at the local juvenile detention center.
 
2008-09-11 03:26:11 PM
He should sharpen his pencil with his teeth for the rest of the school year.
 
2008-09-11 04:29:22 PM
"We're always going to do something to make sure the child understands the seriousness of having something that could potentially harm another student, but we're going to be reasonable," he said. "

Really? So why was the kid suspended for two days, with the possibility of further punishment, then? That seems like the opposite of "reasonable."

I wonder what the mother said. My mom always sided with the school first on anything... but listened to both sides. If she was called in over a broken pencil sharpener and I or my sisters were suspended over that? Well.. it wouldn't have happened. My mom was, and remains, a master of the verbal biatchslap and would have had those administrators hanging their head in shame for wasting her time, as well as the time of one of her daughters.
 
2008-09-11 04:35:06 PM
District spokesman Randy Wall said school administrators are stuck in the precarious position between the district's zero tolerance policy against having weapons at school and common sense.

i236.photobucket.com


Call the lawyers.
 
2008-09-11 05:37:20 PM
Sharpened pencils don't kill people, people kill people
 
2008-09-11 05:39:18 PM
Latest domestic terror threat: Pencil Al Sharpenerston

That's more like it
 
2008-09-11 05:40:23 PM
I honestly wish there was a way to disenfranchise people who panic over every little thing and present absolutely no evidence of sound judgement, relying instead on foolish zero-tolerance policies and an atmosphere of fear to back up their decisions. Seriously. I wish they would stop voting and stop intruding on the public forum so sane people can take a shot at running things without them.
 
2008-09-11 05:40:52 PM
www.brickartist.com

well if this is the pencil.....
 
2008-09-11 05:41:25 PM
Is it too late to say that the terrorists have already won?
 
Ant
2008-09-11 05:42:59 PM
"We're always going to do something to make sure the child understands the seriousness of having something that could potentially harm another student, but we're going to be reasonable," he said.

Too late for that
 
2008-09-11 05:44:10 PM
America is doomed. I mean is this really what we are teaching our kids? Be afraid of everything and everyone? COME ON! Just take it away from him, call the parents ... DONE.

//asshats
 
2008-09-11 05:49:49 PM
earth: America is doomed. I mean is this really what we are teaching our kids? Be afraid of everything and everyone? COME ON! Just take it away from him, call the parents ... DONE.

//asshats


Close...how about just take it away? There is no need to call the parents on something as stupid as this. I mean, if he had put it in a pencil and was running around with it, slashing at students, we have another issue. This is just plain stupidity. I remember going to school, and being caught with a knife. The teacher took it away, put it in her desk, and gave it back after school. I had it in my backpack from a camping trip.

I lament the lives our children will lead...

/my lawn...off it
//and I am only 23...how sad is that?
///not attacking the quoted post...just adding my 2 cents.
 
2008-09-11 05:50:50 PM
I thought that said Pencil Shampoos... and in that brief moment I was wondering why the country wasn't at Red Severe Terror Threat Alert Status.
 
2008-09-11 05:57:05 PM
Well, I know it's not Caturday yet, but...

www.perpetualkid.com

/hotlink
 
2008-09-11 06:04:40 PM
I was thinking this was another typical school admin boner, but then I had a movie flashback:

i207.photobucket.com

we better register all the pencils before they magically disappear...
 
2008-09-11 06:06:56 PM
Sometimes, if there was too much of a line-up at the classroom's one pencil sharpener and my own pencil sharpener was lost/knackered (which happened a lot), I would...

[CAUTION: those with weak hearts advised to sit down.]

*drumroll*

...sharpen my pencil with my scissors!

Horrid, I know. I-I'm actually n-not completely c-certain how I sur-survived. *sniffle* *stiff upper lip*

What's worse is the fact I had scissors. Won't someone think of the children?
 
2008-09-11 06:30:22 PM
Bitter Coffee: I was thinking this was another typical school admin boner, but then I had a movie flashback:



we better register all the pencils before they magically disappear...


that was the best part
 
2008-09-11 06:35:24 PM
Helen_Arigby: Horrid, I know. I-I'm actually n-not completely c-certain how I sur-survived. *sniffle* *stiff upper lip*

What's worse is the fact I had scissors. Won't someone think of the children?


You're on the list. Retroactive.
 
2008-09-11 06:42:02 PM
So I guess they don't dissect frogs with scalpels any more, they just kind of break them apart with their fingers. And carve wood with their front teeth in shop class.
 
2008-09-11 06:44:10 PM
zealot_45: earth: America is doomed. I mean is this really what we are teaching our kids? Be afraid of everything and everyone? COME ON! Just take it away from him, call the parents ... DONE.

//asshats

Close...how about just take it away? There is no need to call the parents on something as stupid as this. I mean, if he had put it in a pencil and was running around with it, slashing at students, we have another issue. This is just plain stupidity. I remember going to school, and being caught with a knife. The teacher took it away, put it in her desk, and gave it back after school. I had it in my backpack from a camping trip.

I lament the lives our children will lead...

/my lawn...off it
//and I am only 23...how sad is that?
///not attacking the quoted post...just adding my 2 cents.


I carried a knife in my pocket, or on my belt, almost every day to school.
No teacher or administator ever "caught" me with it, as there was no rule against having it.

I don't ever recall there being a knife fight at school, or a stabbing (except for that guy I stabbed. But I didn't report it, and as he was trying to rob me at the time, neither did he).
 
2008-09-11 07:48:37 PM
I'm a teacher, and I would have just had the kid throw it in the trash. End of it. But I'm also a reasonable, calm person most of the time.
 
2008-09-11 07:55:43 PM
And all of this is due to the GOP treason supporting enemies of America.
 
2008-09-11 08:05:47 PM
lajimi: District spokesman Randy Wall said school administrators are stuck in the precarious position between the district's zero tolerance policy against having weapons at school and common sense.

Call the lawyers.


No, fark the lawyers. The teacher should have confiscated the pencil sharpener and told the kid to use a non-broken one; end of story. Now this kid is completely screwed because some stupid teacher decided to bring this to the attention of the administration instead of the whole thing being over and done with within seconds.
 
2008-09-11 08:12:32 PM
FTFA:
District spokesman Randy Wall said school administrators are stuck in the precarious position between the district's zero tolerance policy against having weapons at school and common sense.

Evidently, they're not really concerned about those last two words, aren't they?
 
2008-09-11 08:49:49 PM
My master plan --

1. Fire the TSA and post them in classrooms as security guards. Then there will be the added bonus of them perhaps picking up some education on the job. But no, wait...those people would intimidate the teachers and should probably be nowhere near children.

Let me try again

1. Require teachers to take a basic self-defense course or martial art (Aikido would be especially good for disarmament without causing injury) where they could be licensed by the state to "touch mah kids" when a serious threat is posed to the classroom.

2. Teach teachers the distinction between a serious threat and a preventable accident. Actually, we should probably do this one before/during the martial arts training.

3. Fire the TSA anyway and get a brain morans
 
2008-09-11 09:26:29 PM
jerky on the veldt:

2. Teach teachers the distinction between a serious threat and a preventable accident. Actually, we should probably do this one before/during the martial arts training.



Do we really need training on this? Isn't it just good judgement?
/Having said that, about half my fellow teachers would fail the "good judgement" test....OH MY GOD, HE DREW A GUN ON NOTEBOOK PAPER! I FEEL THREATENED!!!
//apologizes for the caps
 
2008-09-11 09:46:10 PM
hershmire: lajimi: District spokesman Randy Wall said school administrators are stuck in the precarious position between the district's zero tolerance policy against having weapons at school and common sense.

Call the lawyers.

No, fark the lawyers. The teacher should have confiscated the pencil sharpener and told the kid to use a non-broken one; end of story. Now this kid is completely screwed because some stupid teacher decided to bring this to the attention of the administration instead of the whole thing being over and done with within seconds.


Exactly right...SHOULD HAVE, but didn't. Now the kid is screwed even though the Beaufort County sheriff's deputy stated in his report that the kid had no criminal intent in having the blade at school. The school took it to the next level now it's up to the kid's parents to defend the child or teach him to fold like a cheap lawn chair. Thanks to the official report the kid would probably win and the school would have no choice but to back off and clear the kid of any wrongdoing.
 
2008-09-12 12:40:54 AM
give me doughnuts:

I carried a knife in my pocket, or on my belt, almost every day to school.
No teacher or administator ever "caught" me with it, as there was no rule against having it.

I don't ever recall there being a knife fight at school, or a stabbing (except for that guy I stabbed. But I didn't report it, and as he was trying to rob me at the time, neither did he).


That's sort of like how I carried a condom in my wallet in high school, and I sure as hell don't remember there ever being any sex going on.
 
2008-09-12 12:44:58 AM
Xaneidolon: How much is enough? Apparently some people thought that this was okay and reasonable. What's wrong with us? I don't have a damned clue about what to do. I'm just tired of this shiat.

This

serpent_sky: ...I wonder what the mother said. My mom always sided with the school first on anything... but listened to both sides. If she was called in over a broken pencil sharpener and I or my sisters were suspended over that? Well.. it wouldn't have happened. My mom was, and remains, a master of the verbal biatchslap and would have had those administrators hanging their head in shame for wasting her time, as well as the time of one of her daughters.

My father was at the end of the stick that did not tolerate anything said or done to his children.

It was fun to watch him jack one of my teachers up against the wall and threaten, "If you even look funny at my son, I WILL kill you." He said that more than once defending me when he was alive, sometimes with a gun =)
 
2008-09-12 02:37:22 AM
I went to school every day with a much more deadly stabbing weapon, known as a "pen" There were also books that could cause blunt trauma, and don't even get me started on rubber bands and paper clips...
 
2008-09-12 03:28:12 AM
mordantkitten: So I guess they don't dissect frogs with scalpels any more, they just kind of break them apart with their fingers. And carve wood with their front teeth in shop class.

Shop class is not covered on the "No Child Left Behind" tests, and as a result is no longer taught. Shop encouraged academically challenged kids to think about developing a skill and taking up a trade instead of disrupting class and running from the cops, so it couldn't be tolerated. That and people kept using the band saw to dismember corpses- if you put a dangerous criminal tool like that in people's hands, you've got to expect that people will start finding corpses to dismember.

Frogs? Do you know how many children could be hurt with by a single frog? Frog leg bones could be rubbed against the cement floors and sharpened into a shiv. Students are now instead shown a picture of a frog, and encouraged to write a response posting about how they felt about it on Myspace.
 
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