I rather enjoy the heated seats in my truck.. was great for Alaskan winters, Colorado winters and now in Wisconsin winters. It's not that I will get a low sperm count and that's why I won't be able to get a girl pregnant, it's because I'm always sticking it in their it's cold in the D.

The only people against heated seats are poor people who cannot afford a nice car to drive. Peasants, the lot of them.

Linger Longer!

Hmm....does that mean I can sit in rush hour traffic with a heating pad on my junk and shoot blanks for life? HOT DAMN SIGN ME UP!

/condoms never fit right anyway
//knives anywhere near the berries make me jittery

What about chronic masturbation???? I mean...you know...just in case....see, I have this friend.....ah fark.

mamoru: Because the ONLY purpose of condoms is to prevent pregnancy.


Don't put facts into the discussion. I know someone who as a result of a case of the mumps when he was older, was rendered sterile. Well, he thought since he shot blanks, he could fark without protection. Cue a few years later when after some shady sexual encounters, he starts biatching that now he's got herpes.


I felt no sympathy.

This...this is one of those headlines that I look at, think about, and then decide, "Naaah, I really don't wanna know."

/dnrtfa

WHAT? You have to have your junk on seat warmers for 3 hours a day? First of all, most people don't spend 3 hours driving to work in the cold. And even the outliers that do should have the sense to turn the seat warmers off after the seat is good and warm. I guess the moral of the story is if you spend more than three hours driving in the cold, don't run the seat warmer the whole time.

We knew this in the 70's too. Pregnancy rates went down despite all the rampant condom-less sex happening because all the guys were wearing super tight pants that killed off their little swimmers.

/dnrtfa

wingman-: /condoms never fit right anyway

I hope this has to do with length and/or width, not so much general "shape".

/Doesn't want a response
//Just wishing well for a fellow farker
///no really, don't tell me

Who is that cute boy in the article? He looks so adorable.

Mugato: Any man who uses a heated car seat needn't breed anyway.

I hate the things. I find they merely brew up whatever's in your colon and make you fart.

No models were harmed in the making of this news article.

So, to curb my happy Irish breeding gene, I should check men for heated seats and panty-lines. Got it.

awesome. I'm finishing out this summer with my seat heater on high

cowsspinach: Who is that cute boy in the article? He looks so adorable.

thank you

Who's got shrinkage pics?!

/what? it's relevant?

Hooya: Who's got shrinkage pics?!

I was swimming all morning! Really.

wingman-: Hmm....does that mean I can sit in rush hour traffic with a heating pad on my junk and shoot blanks for life? HOT DAMN SIGN ME UP!

/condoms never fit right anyway
//knives anywhere near the berries make me jittery

Are they too baggy?

/I Keed!

I'm seeing my doctor tomorrow to get a consultation about getting my baby batter neutralized.

I wish I'd have known that a heated car seat would have been easier and wouldn't result in me having my balls swelled up to the size of softballs.

/on the other hand, I'll get some killer drugs!

TFA: or men who "spend too long sitting down".

Time on Fark excepted?



/Drew makes me shoot blanks

What about the ventilated seats in my Lexus?

It's okay, tell me what you know. I'll be back from the gym in 26 minutes.

You don't know the joy of a heated seat. I've been waiting all summer for it to get cold so I can toast my ass.

That's right, I said it. And I don't care who heard me. Toast my ass.

Um, maybe a dumb question, but they don't actually rest on the seat do they? dnrtfa

vegasj:

thank you


You're welcome.

To be fair, if you're the kind of guy who enjoys sitting in long traffic jams because of your heated car seat then the chances are you aren't ever going to get laid anyhow.

It's not the quantity, it's the quality.

cowsspinach: Who is that cute boy in the article? He looks so adorable.

He's a model.

/hot balls, empty chamber model

I'm so eco-friendly that I have solar heated car seats.


//I live in Texas
//My truck is too big for the garage

read subby's headline, then the Mail's. Confused "threat to men's fertility" with "treat to men's fertility" and had to triple check.

Fark heated seats -- I'd settle for chilled seats. Like Gramma, I have solar heated seats and steering wheel. Still have scars on my arse from sitting on a hot seatbelt buckle as a kid.

The article reminds me of the movie Fight Club - when they would stage a mini kidnapping and check the temperature of the guy's balls after rubber banding them. Meat Loaf says "yeah, they're ice cold".
Funny how the cold balls are healthy - eh guys?
GIS'd for images but found nothing, luckily.

News article, or rugbyjock Photoshop entry?

What porn may look like.

psxer2600: News article, or rugbyjock Photoshop entry?

News article. The lack of buttfarking is a dead giveaway.

/love rj
//platonic

I hate to get technical since the status quo here is to try to be witty, but the reason your balls are outside your body is because they have to stay colder than body temp. When it's cold out, you get some sac constriction and they creep up closer.

So that's why heated car seats can fark your nards up.

DAMN!!! I could have saved a few dollars.

Speaker2Animals: ldasil: Um, maybe a dumb question, but they don't actually rest on the seat do they? dnrtfa

Owww! My balls!

That is still, and quite possibly forever will remain, my favorite thread.

You mean I can sue car makers for taking away my baby daddy ability


_{/I don't see no warning on the seat
/Yo Rhonda, stop wasting money on pills}

infamy

I drive an 02 Silverado with heated seats and generally do not even use them as I kind of like my butt cold from all those days digging wells. Yes, there is not much cold that a well digger's ass. On the other hand, my wife worked as a well digger and I rather like her ass warmed up....hehehehe

The only use for condoms is to find out which girls can put them on you with their mouth, in which case, they're a keeper!