It'd be like a cocktail party with accidental sex from turbulence!

I think they should put bunkbeds into planes. It would fit more people and be more pleasant.

Two stupid things college kids think they want in a job:

1) to work with people

2) to travel

Hey guys, the days of flying first class and signing deals on top of the Eiffel tower aren't only over - they never really existed. Reality is that you take the red eye to an industrial park outside Buffalo. Or if it's international, a 20 hr flight to an exact replica of that industrial park in a Malaysian Jungle. The Malaysian one will be newer and much cleaner, though.

Any company expecting me to travel for business besides the occasional conference had better pay more - a lot more.

nlscb: Hey guys, the days of flying first class and signing deals on top of the Eiffel tower aren't only over - they never really existed. Reality is that you take the red eye to an industrial park outside Buffalo. Or if it's international, a 20 hr flight to an exact replica of that industrial park in a Malaysian Jungle. The Malaysian one will be newer and much cleaner, though.

unless you're in sales or pre-sales, of course. Then it's a gruelling series of sunny, low-crime locations where you get to chit-chat to a number of self-important pricks over company-paid dinners in expensive resturants followed by a sporting event and then 'massages' before making your eight-figure salary by getting him to sign on the dotted line while hammered and after you get the blackmail pictures.

/ Then send your minions to the 'site' at sioux falls ,SD
/ In February

I think it would be a nice gesture by the airlines to fill empty business class seats by providing free upgrades to families traveling with young children. There would be additional room for the youngsters to run and jump, additional waitresses stewardesses attendants to fawn over the little tykes and admire the parents, and fewer passengers would be inconvenienced if the cute darlings were a "bit rambunctious". How about it, all children fly for free in first or business class?

nlscb
Two stupid things college kids think they want in a job:

1) to work with people

2) to travel

Shooting down two of my dreams in one post

I want one of those business credit cards to spend at a specific type of "dance" club, and the business not caring cuz its that important to impress the client.

Rhames: I want one of those business credit cards to spend at a specific type of "dance" club, and the business not caring cuz its that important to impress the client.

Me too. I always have to pony up the dough and turn in an expense report for reimbursement.

NightOwl2255: Seem like a nice way to travel. I think the Nazi's thought of this first.


I'll one-up you on that:



+




- More passengers per flight
- Fewer on board crew required
- On on-board accommodations required (entertainment, food, restrooms)
- Zero risk of someone taking over the plane mid-flight
- Reduces or eliminates jet lag (Charge extra for off-plane "Storage" so you can wake up at a more convenient local time - no need to find a hotel room at 2AM...)


=Smidge=

ilambiquated: I think they should put bunkbeds into planes. It would fit more people and be more pleasant.

Bunkbeds make me fart.

Smidge204:
=Smidge=

It won't work, let alone be profitable. General anesthesia is risky, which means it would be accompanied by expensive insurance. Also, passengers would have to be respired and watched constantly.

It's a shame. If things worked like this, you could knock out and pack the passengers on the ground, and then load them into the plane and treat them almost like freight.

Winston Smith '84: empty business class seats

I haven't noticed any of those on the US domestic routes I tend to fly.

/infrequent flier

nlscb: Two stupid things college kids think they want in a job:

1) to work with people

really? My job during college (commissioned retail sales) convinced me that the reason I need to stay in college is so that I don't have to work with people. I looked at my degree as a ticket to avoiding the general population.

Smidge204: - More passengers per flight
- Fewer on board crew required

Somebody has been watching the Fifth Element lately.


/first class tickets to Fhloston Paradise, please

jimb213: nlscb: Two stupid things college kids think they want in a job:

1) to work with people

really? My job during college (commissioned retail sales) convinced me that the reason I need to stay in college is so that I don't have to work with people. I looked at my degree as a ticket to avoiding the general population.

Not sure if my sarcasm meter is broken, but yeah, heard this ALL of the time in university - especially from women.

It's actually an important thing to do if you want to make the really big bucks in management, but I wouldn't describe it as pleasant.

gorgor: ilambiquated: I think they should put bunkbeds into planes. It would fit more people and be more pleasant.

Bunkbeds make me fart.

That would be the "human touch".

NightOwl2255: Seem like a nice way to travel. I think the Nazi's thought of this first.

And for in-flight refreshments, if you're lucky, Oskar Schindler hits the cabin with a hose.

Call me silly but if I ever paid that much extra for a flight ticket. I would expect to get their in a fraction of the time that an economy class ticket holder would travel.

When it comes to airlines its about the destination, not the journey.

ricewater_stool: bronyaur1: The airlines understand their customers about as poorly as any consumer business that I have ever seen.

THIS. If you need to charge more for tickets, then just do it. Don't nickle and dime us by charging for the first checked bag, getting rid of peanuts, not cleaning the plane between trips (my biggest pet peeve with domestic airlines), etc. This sort of stuff matters, a lot, especially to infrequent travelers. These people will not fly again if their experience sucks.

See, I prefer they nickle and dime, then you are only paying if you use it. Instead of raising everyone's ticket price, you charge the people that want to check extra bags, want a meal or snack on the flight (I don't eat airplane food if I can avoid it), etc.

gutterman: ricewater_stool: bronyaur1: The airlines understand their customers about as poorly as any consumer business that I have ever seen.

THIS. If you need to charge more for tickets, then just do it. Don't nickle and dime us by charging for the first checked bag, getting rid of peanuts, not cleaning the plane between trips (my biggest pet peeve with domestic airlines), etc. This sort of stuff matters, a lot, especially to infrequent travelers. These people will not fly again if their experience sucks.

See, I prefer they nickle and dime, then you are only paying if you use it. Instead of raising everyone's ticket price, you charge the people that want to check extra bags, want a meal or snack on the flight (I don't eat airplane food if I can avoid it), etc.

Seconded. Airline food of course has a well deserved reputation for mediocrity. But if the airlines view it as a revenue source rather than a cost, maybe the food will stop sucking.

bronyaur1: The airlines understand their customers about as poorly as any consumer business that I have ever seen.

Damn straight. The core business of an airline is to get your passengers to their destination safely and on time. They consistently fail. Sometimes they've even failed to get me to my destination at all. The airline industry as we know it will be dead in a few years.

ricewater_stool: I see your point about the food. The baggage annoys me because now everyone is going to try to bring their suitcase as a carry on and there's just not enough room in the overhead bins for it. This leads to people being even bigger assholes than usual.

I guess I also don't understand how a 5 cent bag of pretzels is going to affect the bottom line when you're paying $300 for a 2 hour flight.

The dirty planes really bother me. That's just gross.

I fly quite a bit and I've been pretty impressed that the airlines (I fly mostly American) have been able to keep fares reasonably in check in the face of rising fuel costs.

Hey, a $.05 bag of pretzles times 10,000,000 passesngers adds up (I'm making that number up, but I think all the small things can add up).

I don't mean to sound like a shill, but I still think it's pretty impresive I can be across the country in a matter of hours for $400.

gutterman: I don't mean to sound like a shill, but I still think it's pretty impresive I can be across the country in a matter of hours for $400.

Agreed, but I really don't see how anything you said is a counterpoint to ricewater_stool's arguments.

The airlines have done a good job keeping costs down but they're cutting all the wrong corners. The entire industry is run by bean-counters that don't take into account the hidden costs of constantly pissing off customers. So what if "everyone else is doing it"? The agents are unprofessional, the airplanes are filthy, the schedules are pure fiction and the amenities are vanishing (whereas invasive advertising is increasing) on an already-unpleasant experience. Furthermore, they don't want to spend a penny on security so we're left showing our socks to unprofessional TSA assholes with zero accountability.

If one of the airlines opted to cater to a middle-quality clientele by raising fares but keeping close tabs on employee attitudes, backing their schedules with meaningful guarantees, keeping the airplanes clean & pleasant and security that isn't both demeaning and insulting (they can leverage the government and get it done), they'd lose lots of sales (most Americans are cheap bastards) but they could make up for it with decent profit margin.

Right now there is quite a vacuum between crappy affordable air travel and luxury air travel. Business class is an insincere middle ground that's vastly overpriced, with little capacity and much of the same corners cut.

dragonchild: gutterman: I don't mean to sound like a shill, but I still think it's pretty impresive I can be across the country in a matter of hours for $400.

Agreed, but I really don't see how anything you said is a counterpoint to ricewater_stool's arguments.

The airlines have done a good job keeping costs down but they're cutting all the wrong corners. The entire industry is run by bean-counters that don't take into account the hidden costs of constantly pissing off customers. So what if "everyone else is doing it"? The agents are unprofessional, the airplanes are filthy, the schedules are pure fiction and the amenities are vanishing (whereas invasive advertising is increasing) on an already-unpleasant experience. Furthermore, they don't want to spend a penny on security so we're left showing our socks to unprofessional TSA assholes with zero accountability.

If one of the airlines opted to cater to a middle-quality clientele by raising fares but keeping close tabs on employee attitudes, backing their schedules with meaningful guarantees, keeping the airplanes clean & pleasant and security that isn't both demeaning and insulting (they can leverage the government and get it done), they'd lose lots of sales (most Americans are cheap bastards) but they could make up for it with decent profit margin.

Right now there is quite a vacuum between crappy affordable air travel and luxury air travel. Business class is an insincere middle ground that's vastly overpriced, with little capacity and much of the same corners cut.

My counterpoint was to the nickel and dime comment, see above (or below if you've reversed comments).

The days of all first class, men in suits and hats flying Pan Am are over, but maybe that's your point, that someone could bring that back. So I'm not totally disagreeing what that notion.
I've never been harrased by TSA.. But I know how to get through security.

dragonchild: they'd lose lots of sales (most Americans are cheap bastards) but they could make up for it with decent profit margin.

Unfortunately the airline industry is one where economies of scale are large. Flying a half full plane is probably 85% as expensive as a full plane, but with half the revenue. Ergo planes need to be close to filled, or tickets must be much more expensive. In order to do this and offer reasonable service times (more than 1-2 flights a day), they need to appeal to the masses.

Your business model also fails as we're in a recession. People and companies that aren't in the best of shape are looking to downgrade travel if possible. Saving 40+% off the total travel budget is a fair chunk of change. Economically the right way to price tickets is a low fare, then charge for everything else. This allows for consumer selection; otherwise everyone is paying for the right to do something, and so will, even if they'd just as soon save 50-100$ off a ticket by packing lighter and not eating on the plane. The trick is to somehow make the consumer realize that they are being nickle and dimed for a reason, and give them choice (perhaps an all inclusive ticket option for 'traditional' travel, at the expanded price)

I've only ever flown first/business class either because the airline upgraded me after their SNAFU, because I was pleasant to the counter agent in asking for exit row and they took it upon themselves, or because I used points/miles to upgrade on a flight home longer than 3 hours.

Long international flight might be worth it from a comfort/room standpoint, but not from the service difference.

I hate flying these days, and the "fees" crap is getting past tiresome to ridiculous. My "fly versus drive" time is now approaching 10 hours drive time. I can carry what the heck I want in the way of knives and tools, I can leave on my schedule, and my "excess baggage fee" is the extra 0.005 gallon / mile I use.

Oh my god, the demand curve is elastic! Prices have to adjust to what people are willing to pay! The world is ending!

People being surprised by this is no different from people being surprised when their jobs are cut due to it being cheaper to make the stuff elsewhere. Farking luddites, all of them.