Has anyone ever heard of a taxi? Des Moines has them.

Wow. Paul Rudd has really been letting himself go...

A friend of an ex gf of mine had a daughter named Miquala. Everytime she would get excited about something she would shout her name out. This was before I discovered Arrested Development, or I would have shouted back "Steve Holt!"

Ashley and Dustin had Miquala and Mikha?

Snowflake Tubbybottom: Has anyone ever heard of a taxi? Des Moines has them.

But ya gotta get your car home...

Note to Subby, I don't think that our drunken hero is the father. He's a "allegedly drunken relative." Oh, and an utter douchebag who fails at life. Article never specifically states it, but I think he's a step dad. It refers to them as "her children" and to him as "her husband."

Of course, it could just be that the "writer" of this piece of crap article is the actual douchebag of the day.

Five-year-old Miquala was able to get out of the car and scrambled to her mother. Seven-year-old Mikha was not able to unbuckle himself by the time Dustin Purscell took off abruptly at a high rate of speed, according to police.

/Should be taken to jail just for naming his kids Miquala and Mikah.

"When Ashley arrived at the bar with her two children..."

Say no more.

ecmoRandomNumbers: FTFA:

Five-year-old Miquala was able to get out of the car and scrambled to her mother. Seven-year-old Mikha was not able to unbuckle himself by the time Dustin Purscell took off abruptly at a high rate of speed, according to police.

Regardless of this guy's actions, these kids were set up to fail from the beginning.

THIS

srtpointman: A friend of an ex gf of mine had a daughter named Miquala. Everytime she would get excited about something she would shout her name out. This was before I discovered Arrested Development, or I would have shouted back "Steve Holt!"

That would be weird to overhear her having sex then.

Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

Miquala is the most hideous spelling of Michaela I have seen to date. And Mikha? What's wrong with good ol' fashioned Micah? Why do parents feel the need to be eweneeckque?

Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

Good point...but with names like "Grace" and "Henry"...I think I will slowly step off your lawn...

/not looking back

mike4688 writes: "When Ashley arrived at the bar with her two children..."
Say no more.

Sure, it was 2 am, but what do you expect her to do? The kids are 2 and 7 years old. They can't be left home alone, this guy is her husband, presumably there is no other adult at home to leave the kids with. So if she has to go out at 2 am, she has no choice but to bring them along.

Which leads me to ask why this guy couldn't have gotten a cab or walked home, but he's clearly not the sharpest pencil in the drawer anyway.

This guy's driving around with 5-year old Miquala?!?!

Shoot, I can't even afford Patron Anejo. :+(

NYZooMan: Ashley and Dustin had Miquala and Mikha?

Of course. It has to start at some point...

myalias1845: Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

Good point...but with names like "Grace" and "Henry"...I think I will slowly step off your lawn...

/not looking back


I'm 26. I don't see what's wrong with favoring more traditional names, rather than the hideous shiat parents today come up with.


Pribar: Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

We have a Coco who will do a bit more than just ride the pole at the local "gentlemans club" here tho....


Heh, my name is a play on the song Cherchez La Femme.

But you see, I'm no stick in the mud. I'm under 25 damnit.. not saying kids should be named Edith and Bartholemew. But damn, those names aren't even phonetic. I'm easy going when it comes to this shiat, but I mean, it's not even farking phonetic

T-Luv
But ya gotta get your car home...


ha nice. in ireland they have a service that will put a scooter in the boot of YOUR car and then drive your drunk ass home.
beutiful. probably wouldn't work too well here in the states i guess...but a nice idea never the less.

of course, in ireland they actually punish drunk drivers...

moron
beutiful.

beautiful...sigh. wish i could blame my stupit on booze.

Coco LaFemme: I'm 26. I don't see what's wrong with favoring more traditional names, rather than the hideous shiat parents today come up with.

Naming preferences typically evolve year-by-year, but pretty slowly. If you're like me, what annoys you is probably the awkward spellings, dumb variations, and name combinations people come up with.

Maybe if I was a James or something I could be all super-traditional, but frankly my name isn't all too common in this part of the world, but at least there is some thought behind it

Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

She'll just change her name if she wants to be a stripper bad enough.

ASHLEY
+
DUSTIN
4EVR

Jamrock: Coco LaFemme: I'm 26. I don't see what's wrong with favoring more traditional names, rather than the hideous shiat parents today come up with.

Naming preferences typically evolve year-by-year, but pretty slowly. If you're like me, what annoys you is probably the awkward spellings, dumb variations, and name combinations people come up with.

Maybe if I was a James or something I could be all super-traditional, but frankly my name isn't all too common in this part of the world, but at least there is some thought behind it

What annoys me is people pronouncing my name "SEEN" and thinking they're clever or somehow original.

Look. Is it "Seen Connery" or "Seen Puffy Combs"?
Perhaps "Seen Penn"?

farkwits! Of course it isn't.
This is the way the name is spelled.

/rant over

I'm guessing tonight wasn't his first time drinking.

Get drunk, get a 15 year old girl pregnant. Check
Get drunk, come up with names for our childrens. Check
Get drunk, get farked with a Des Moines Register tag. Check

Edit:
Get drunk, marry a girl who gets pregnant at 15 and names her kids Miquala and Mikha. Check.

carbert01: Get drunk, get a 15 year old girl pregnant. Check

Odds are good that she was 14 when she actually got pregnant, then 15 when she had the poor kid.

Ooshatielf: yeah, but step-dad still counts?

Sure, so does being a d-bag punk willing to get a felony over a lighter.

You die now!

Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

And Rose is kind of outdated for the profession. It's been 70 years since "Gypsy" Rose Lee made her stage debut. And they didn't have brass poles back then.

David Arquette and Courtney Cox-Arquette actually named their daughter Coco. (NTTAWWT) Do they want her to a sign language speaking Chimp, or a stripper, or a perfume maven (Coco Chanel)? Or worst of all, maybe a Farkette? It's the kind of weirdness I've come to expect from a David.

Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.


that's right - you won't see grace grinding on the pole...
but only because she's opted to use destiny or jasmine as her stage name.

Pathman: in ireland they have a service that will put a scooter in the boot of YOUR car and then drive your drunk ass home.
beutiful. probably wouldn't work too well here in the states i guess...but a nice idea never the less.

of course, in ireland they actually punish drunk drivers...

They have this service where I live in the states. I feel sorry for the guys that sign up to do it, though. Anybody on a two-wheeled vehicle at 2 am around here is probably going to end up dragged around the streets.

JesterGirl: Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.


that's right - you won't see grace grinding on the pole...
but only because she's opted to use destiny or jasmine as her stage name.

Or Ethel.

Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

Actually, you will, that will just be her stage name though. The strippers who already have stripper names usually choose something...traditional...to dance as. A stripper with the given name Destiny is usually going to dance as Jennifer or some other similarly common name.

That said, I agree with you, for the most part. There are a lot of great and unique names out there, but that's not what dumb parents usually use when they're trying to be unique. I have no idea why a parent would choose "Mikha" over say "Hunter" or "Atlas." You can give your kid a unique name without condemning them to having to bear the symbols of your douchebaggery for the rest of their life. A lot of the much older names from "the greatest generation" have also fallen completely out of style. There aren't many Roses or Evelyns or Phyllises wandering around that are under the age of 70 these days. I honestly think that's sad.

/Save the dumbass names for the kids middle name, people.
//And do not, under any circumstance, ever name your child after a type of alcohol, motor vehicle, or their place of conception (especially if related to the previous two).

JesterGirl:
that's right - you won't see grace grinding on the pole...
but only because she's opted to use destiny or jasmine as her stage name.

I personally go by the stage name "Dustin Diamond" for all my pole work.

Quantumbunny: JesterGirl:
that's right - you won't see grace grinding on the pole...
but only because she's opted to use destiny or jasmine as her stage name.

I personally go by the stage name "Dustin Diamond" for all my pole work.

Oooh, you're a *dirty* girl.

mLayth: Jamrock: Coco LaFemme: I'm 26. I don't see what's wrong with favoring more traditional names, rather than the hideous shiat parents today come up with.

Naming preferences typically evolve year-by-year, but pretty slowly. If you're like me, what annoys you is probably the awkward spellings, dumb variations, and name combinations people come up with.

Maybe if I was a James or something I could be all super-traditional, but frankly my name isn't all too common in this part of the world, but at least there is some thought behind it

What annoys me is people pronouncing my name "SEEN" and thinking they're clever or somehow original.

Look. Is it "Seen Connery" or "Seen Puffy Combs"?
Perhaps "Seen Penn"?

farkwits! Of course it isn't.
This is the way the name is spelled.

/rant over

Somewhere there is woman named Siobhan who is laughing at your little problem.

mags4242: carbert01: Get drunk, get a 15 year old girl pregnant. Check

Odds are good that she was 14 when she actually got pregnant, then 15 when she had the poor kid.

Well, she got tired of having abortions.

Danger Avoid Death: Somewhere there is woman named Siobhan who is laughing at your little problem.

Which is sad, because that's such a pretty name. Then again, most Gaelic names are, Celidh, for instance.

signine: Coco LaFemme: Whatever happened to normal names? Like Rose or Henry or David or Grace or John? Why must parents give their kids such farked-up, ghetto names. The girl will be a stripper, the boy will be selling crack. Guarantee it. You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino.

Actually, you will, that will just be her stage name though. The strippers who already have stripper names usually choose something...traditional...to dance as. A stripper with the given name Destiny is usually going to dance as Jennifer or some other similarly common name.

So Bertha and Ethel and Madge are not in the picture? Those names are teh hawt. *snort*

"You don't see anyone named Grace riding the pole at the Spearmint Rhino."

That stripper, Lotta Vagina. Her real name is Grace.

eliz1bef: Note to Subby, I don't think that our drunken hero is the father. He's a "allegedly drunken relative." Oh, and an utter douchebag who fails at life. Article never specifically states it, but I think he's a step dad. It refers to them as "her children" and to him as "her husband."

Of course, it could just be that the "writer" of this piece of crap article is the actual douchebag of the day.

Oh man well than that changes the story entirely. I'll just move along and forget everything I read.