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(BBSpot)   Santa considers switching North Pole computers to Linux   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
•       •       •

6263 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Dec 2002 at 1:55 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

42 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-12-16 01:31:58 PM  
To continue on an earlier theme...I want to see Santa vs. The Easter Bunny Segway Jousting...on Fox.
2002-12-16 01:56:48 PM  
This is not a funny premise.
2002-12-16 01:59:35 PM  
Udo considers switching from BBSpot to Satirewire for all my satire needs. OR something.
2002-12-16 02:00:27 PM  
Well, that's it. Christmas is cancelled.
2002-12-16 02:00:35 PM  
"He's made some veiled threats about Xboxes falling off the sleigh while he's flying over the Atlantic. I also heard he threatened to move Gates and Ballmer to the Naughty List."

2002-12-16 02:00:58 PM  
In other News, the Kwanzaa Officials are taking them all to court over EOE issues...
2002-12-16 02:01:15 PM  
worst. link. ever.

I mean, seriously. I like BBSpot. and I'm a big geek. But that's just not funny.
2002-12-16 02:01:20 PM  
how is this funny?
2002-12-16 02:01:22 PM  
2002-12-16 02:02:01 PM  
Will Santa also switch from elves to gnomes?
2002-12-16 02:02:06 PM  
This is funny in that "Somebody else do the laughing for me" kind of way.
2002-12-16 02:02:38 PM  
Linux sucks.

/New and Improved Flamebait for Geeks
2002-12-16 02:02:45 PM  
Bad News to Udo: The guy running Satirewire retired a few months ago. If you want new stuff, even if it's not funny, BBSpot is the better choice.
2002-12-16 02:04:08 PM  
Just to follow up, there is so much more you could have done with this story (that wasn't done)..

How about some grumbling from the Elves who have to use the system:

I don't care about the damn GPL and how much money we save I just want to take some kid off the "naughty" list and move him to the "nice" list and I have to type "ml -fred/n/r/'nice' rm al +fred /n/y/q/'naughty'"
2002-12-16 02:05:14 PM  
2002-12-16 02:07:07 PM  
Luckily the Onion is starting to become funny again...
2002-12-16 02:09:03 PM  
2002-12-16 02:11:11 PM  
Internet Hobo found going through network recycling bins.

"I don't think anyone really wants this old kazaa.exe", internet hobo said with a sly wink, one hand on the executable file. He proceeded to fish out other discarded items from a network users recycling bin and smiled when he he found puppy.gif. "I've always wanted one of these!" he shouted to the desktop at large.
Digging in trash cans, once the province of real life hobos and zealous papparazzi, now is finding it's way onto the internet. Despite the common misunderstanding that all files on a computer, even in the recycling bin, are the property of the owner, internet hobos are following a time-honored and completely legal existence by snatching discarded rubbish from others.
In his 4 millisecond jaunt through a recycling bin, we observed internet hobo snatching a resume, Britney Spears faked porn, and a few cookies. "I can make some money on these!"
But being an internet hobo is not without it's dangers. Repeatedly, internet hobo has been stalked by Norton, a bodyguard of sorts that people pay to watch their stuff. Internet hobo recounts one of these run-ins.
"I was elbow deep in this rich xp jackoffs bin, pulling mp3's and avi's left and right, when along comes this Norton tool and is all like ')M111001', so I'm like '1^QE011' and that shut him up, but i could see that he was watching me so i just got out of there. Norton is a qw33r, I hate him"
But other encounters have left Internet hobo ransacked himself. He tells us of being mauled once by 'dogs of hell' sent to retrieve some files. "They must have been real important, cause like in no time, this big ass thug just cracks my grip from out of nowhere and takes not only what I just got from him, but like everything else I was holding. He stabbed me with some syringe full of ebola too! I was crapping nothing but 17 byte segments for like 6 trillion cycles. Lucky to be alive."
Still, Internet Hobo say he wouldn't have it any other way. "Alot of people get all pissy about it, saying their personal and often embarassing garbage is not for others to sift through. So I'm like 'What's the internet then?' and that shuts em up toute suite. Then I spend like 300 cycles googling at their daughter's sixth birthday party pics and eating their discarded cookies."
2002-12-16 02:15:36 PM  
See? Even Santa's switching over to Linux. Shouldn't you?
2002-12-16 02:20:56 PM  
This article is bullshiat. Everyone knows that Santa is a Mac man.
2002-12-16 02:29:11 PM  
I thought Santa was a "Sack" man.

Get it? It's a pun!
2002-12-16 02:31:40 PM  
I love my Gentoo box. :)
2002-12-16 02:35:31 PM  
let me be the first to say:

i found this fairly amusing.

2002-12-16 02:38:50 PM  
I'm a long-time BBSpot fan and generally I like most of the stuff on the site and this one was pretty funny too. BBSpot is not big laugh out loud comedy, nor it is straight-forward satire like Onion. Unless you know at least a few computer/technical terms, BBSpot articles appear quite unfunny...

These two lines made me laugh actually:

"IIS couldn't keep up when Slashdot posted a link to that web-interface I made for turning Rudolph's new LED nose on and off."

"Behind that beard is a shrewd operator. He's managed to stay in business for centuries while giving his product away for free"

Keep it up Brian. Hope being out-of-work is treating u good :)
2002-12-16 02:39:59 PM  
Luckily the Onion is starting to become funny again...

That's good news. It really got so bad that I quit visiting.

g.r.e.p. dumbstory
--x-w--Santa considers switching North Pole computers to Linux
2002-12-16 02:55:43 PM  
"I love my Gentoo box. :)"

Ditto on the Gentoo. =D

Once it's up and running, admining it is like falling off of a log.

Locally compiled and custom tailored programs are sweet, too. =) Especially when you only configure one file and major support features are set from then on (e.g. "-java" ensures that optional java support is not built into programs)

And the kernel optimizations are great. I was running my CPU at ramming speed (100%) last night and the desktop was silky smooth. It's response time hardly flinched from what it was with the CPU at 0%.

2002-12-16 03:01:40 PM  
I thought it was pretty amusing. 'Course I'm a nerd, so what do I know from funny...
2002-12-16 03:12:57 PM  
not. funny. at all.
2002-12-16 03:18:06 PM  
I just spammed my LUG mailing list with this link.
2002-12-16 03:18:54 PM  
Where's the funny? This premise had such rich potental, and bbspot just flopped it...
2002-12-16 03:56:18 PM  
Dattaway, BAHAHAHAHA!!
2002-12-16 03:57:35 PM  
But what's the point, with FreeBSD 5.0 just on the horizon?
2002-12-16 03:59:30 PM  
HowlingFrog, Dalcius:
Holy cow, other gentoo users read fark.
We shold start a support group or something.
2002-12-16 04:27:10 PM  
I thought everyone uses Gentoo. You mean people still use Windows without the X?
2002-12-16 04:29:50 PM  
i think i never read the bbspot or satire links because they have the two worst graphics on fark. yeah that is incredibly stupid, and true.
2002-12-16 04:39:11 PM  
I want my 50k of bandwidth back.
2002-12-16 04:43:17 PM  
12-16-02 02:02:45 PM LeroyB
Bad News to Udo: The guy running Satirewire retired a few months ago. If you want new stuff, even if it's not funny, BBSpot is the better choice.

First sentence: good. Second sentence: shows you missed the satire of my comment.
2002-12-16 05:32:21 PM  
Windows vs. Linux is pointless for Santa- that is an Apple Macintosh Performa 5xxx series on his desk. Circa 1995-1996 vintage. You would think he would have something cooler than a 75-100MHz PowerPC 603.
2002-12-16 06:05:51 PM  

Haven't you had to recompile other packages though, that aren't listed in dependencies yet? That drives me nuts about Gentoo -- e.g. recently kdebase 3.0.4 was unmasked, along with qt 3.1 and I tried to install it - but unfortunately kdelibs needed to be recompiled before updating kdebase, but only because my qt was updated. This is one of the problems of the system - kdebase 3.0.4 still only needs kdelibs3.0.3 but it needs to be compiled against qt3.1.

Or on my home box, I can't update world or update system anymore, because it wants to update my kernel source file. This isn't a big deal, but it also wants to update my nvidia driver. Unfortunately, I need to compile a new kernel before I can get nvidia drivers installed. I really don't want a new kernel. But I can't (easily) take nvidia-kernel out of the software list to just update the other stuff.

(Yes I can mask nvidia-kernel in packages.mask, but my god in heaven I hate having to remask it every freaking time that I emerge sync. I can also inject it, but then I worry that another piece of software will require it, and happily download and install without telling me it is relying on an injected piece of software).

And I wish I had a way to list what software I've injected.
2002-12-16 09:46:23 PM  
I also use Gentoo. Pretty damn sweet imho; Best Linux Distro EVAH!
2002-12-17 10:49:52 AM  
The entire article was just a set-up for some one-line lame "Red Hat" joke. Sad sad sad.
2002-12-17 01:43:40 PM  
I'm a Windows user, and I still think Gentoo is good. I wouldn't have ever known about it if it weren't for the Unreal Tournament 2003 demo "Live CD".

Dude, bootable CDs with all my apps on it, a windows-like system, that I can use on virtually any PC. THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN BOUT. Give me a chance to fool around with it without laying waste to my current setup. Or heck, let me run a web server for a day, then have it go bye bye.

That's why I've given a look-see at DemoLinux. But I haven't done anything with it yet. I'm going to have to burn the disc.

Yes, I know - that's what they make "Ghost" for. But I don't really care to spend a day setting up a system, when I've already got one that functions.

By the way... BBSpot rules. I'm glad he quit his job to run his site.
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