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(Fark)   LP #100: Last Post Wins   ( divider line
    More: Spiffy  
•       •       •

24721 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Aug 2008 at 3:15 PM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

15896 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Oldest | « | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | » | Newest

2008-08-18 03:39:33 PM  
Ha it's a clusterfark of wakiness
2008-08-18 03:39:35 PM  

Kode707: Anyone know how babby is formed?

Well, see, the man has little eggs in his wiener, and he has to pee them into the lady. The eggs grow into a little person that she has to poop out before it gets too big and tries to climb out her mouth. Then it eats boobs.
2008-08-18 03:39:36 PM  


Cute walls of text. Now I remember why I don't hang out on the main page anymore.
2008-08-18 03:39:39 PM  

farm machine: This is on the main page for a reason? Certainly can't be used as an incentive to become a TFer.

This isn't about you.
2008-08-18 03:39:42 PM  
i335.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:39:48 PM  
I'm a liter, I have no farking idea what's going on, and I'm not ashamed to admit that.

/Posting in legendary thread?
2008-08-18 03:39:51 PM  

Ace Attorney: Why am I not a TFer again?

Oh yeah, know I remember...

Because people would make fun of your spelling?
2008-08-18 03:39:58 PM  
electrongate.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:40:06 PM  
I love this thread.
2008-08-18 03:40:08 PM  
HI! Is this where I am supposed to post pics of my boobies?
2008-08-18 03:40:11 PM  
2008-08-18 03:40:15 PM  
This goes to everyone.
If you can take the time out of your busy day to deride those seeking answers to their seemingly simple questions and can't instead use your time to be a decent human being and answer the question, that makes you a bag of dicks.
All this random dick-baggery can't be helping the world to be a better place. The more it happens, the more the world will turn into an orgy of impish and cruel delight, where innocence is targeted for amusement by those who don't have the foresight to comprehend the fact that all of the shootings that have been going on have been because of the uncaring and insidious behavior you display anonymously on a daily basis.

In short, your behavior makes people hate humanity.
Try being indiscriminately kind for a farking change.
2008-08-18 03:40:35 PM  
You cryptic words amuse me

2008-08-18 03:40:38 PM  
Wins what?
2008-08-18 03:40:38 PM  
i46.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:40:44 PM  
2008-08-18 03:40:54 PM  

Rosyjenn: HI! Is this where I am supposed to post pics of my boobies?

You're supposed to do that everywhere
2008-08-18 03:41:01 PM  
i41.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:41:05 PM  
this is not a bookmark
2008-08-18 03:41:07 PM  
First person to make a stupid badge for this thread gets a cockpunch or a kick in the box.
2008-08-18 03:41:07 PM  
I imagine that it'll be quite a while before the last post is actually posted.
2008-08-18 03:41:17 PM  
[image from too old to be available] Full Size

[image from too old to be available]

I can haz chicken dinner?
2008-08-18 03:41:36 PM  
i537.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:41:36 PM  
deaddog.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:41:41 PM  

farm machine: This is on the main page for a reason? Certainly can't be used as an incentive to become a TFer.

it's to keep you people out
2008-08-18 03:41:41 PM  
My eyes are burning. This must be the end!
2008-08-18 03:41:43 PM  
What do you win?
2008-08-18 03:41:47 PM  

mequickwantslow: Inhale.

Take in as much air as you can.

This story should last about as long as you can hold your breath, and then just a little bit longer. So listen as fast as you can.

A friend of mine, when he was thirteen years old he heard about "pegging." This is when a guy gets banged up the butt with a dildo. Stimulate the prostate gland hard enough, and the rumor is you can have explosive hands-free orgasms. At that age, this friend's a little sex maniac. He's always jonesing for a better way to get his rocks off. He goes out to buy a carrot and some petroleum jelly. To conduct a little private research. Then he pictures how it's going to look at the supermarket checkstand, the lonely carrot and petroleum jelly rolling down the conveyer belt toward the grocery store cashier. All the shoppers waiting in line, watching. Everyone seeing the big evening he has planned.

So, my friend, he buys milk and eggs and sugar and a carrot, all the ingredients for a carrot cake. And Vaseline.

Like he's going home to stick a carrot cake up his butt.

At home, he whittles the carrot into a blunt tool. He slathers it with grease and grinds his ass down on it. Then, nothing. No orgasm. Nothing happens except it hurts.

Then, this kid, his mom yells it's suppertime. She says to come down, right now.

He works the carrot out and stashes the slippery, filthy thing in the dirty clothes under his bed.

After dinner, he goes to find the carrot and it's gone. All his dirty clothes, while he ate dinner, his mom grabbed them all to do laundry. No way could she not find the carrot, carefully shaped with a paring knife from her kitchen, still shiny with lube and stinky.

This friend of mine, he waits months under a black cloud, waiting for his folks to confront him. And they never do. Ever. Even now he's grown up, that invisible carrot hangs over every Christmas dinner, every birthday party. Every Easter egg hunt with his kids, his parents' grandkids, that ghost carrot is hovering over all of them.

That something too awful to name.

People in France have a phrase: "Spirit of the Stairway." In French: Esprit de l'escalier. It means that moment when you find the answer, but it's too late. Say you're at a party and someone insults you. You have to say something. So under pressure, with everybody watching, you say something lame. But the moment you leave the party...

As you start down the stairway, then -- magic. You come up with the perfect thing you should've said. The perfect crippling put-down.

That's the Spirit of the Stairway.

The trouble is even the French don't have a phrase for the stupid things you actually do say under pressure. Those stupid, desperate things you actually think or do.

Some deeds are too low to even get a name. Too low to even get talked about.

Looking back, kid-psych experts, school counselors now say that most of the last peak in teen suicide was kids trying to choke while they beat off. Their folks would find them, a towel twisted around the kid's neck, the towel tied to the rod in their bedroom closet, the kid dead. Dead sperm everywhere. Of course the folks cleaned up. They put some pants on their kid. They made it look... better. Intentional at least. The regular kind of sad, teen suicide.

Another friend of mine, a kid from school, his older brother in the Navy said how guys in the Middle East jack off different than we do here. This brother was stationed in some camel country where the public market sells what could be fancy letter openers. Each fancy tool is just a thin rod of polished brass or silver, maybe as long as your hand, with a big tip at one end, either a big metal ball or the kind of fancy carved handle you'd see on a sword. This Navy brother says how Arab guys get their dick hard and then insert this metal rod inside the whole length of their boner. They jack off with the rod inside, and it makes getting off so much better. More intense.

It's this big brother who travels around the world, sending back French phrases. Russian phrases. Helpful jack-off tips.

After this, the little brother, one day he doe ...

lol wut?
2008-08-18 03:42:00 PM  
will this be the last post?????

Ask bambi obama
2008-08-18 03:42:05 PM  


2008-08-18 03:42:18 PM  
thanks dugitman but im a alt.

you wasted 5 bucks

sorry man
2008-08-18 03:42:26 PM  
Well, the last post was already taken in the Boobies... So, yeah.
2008-08-18 03:42:35 PM  

I need a drink
2008-08-18 03:42:38 PM  
2008-08-18 03:42:49 PM  
Whoohoo! I got to post even though I'm not TF!
2008-08-18 03:42:50 PM  

Allen. The end.: My eyes are burning. This must be the end!

Nah...that's just some wierd form of VD.
2008-08-18 03:42:53 PM  
2008-08-18 03:42:56 PM  

rape: thanks dugitman but im a alt.

you wasted 5 bucks

sorry man

Now that's comedy!
2008-08-18 03:42:59 PM  
i113.photobucket.comView Full Size
2008-08-18 03:43:14 PM  
2008-08-18 03:43:26 PM  
is that foo fighters guy
2008-08-18 03:43:33 PM  
images.magicseaweed.comView Full Size

I have no idea what this thread is about.
2008-08-18 03:43:43 PM  

Rosyjenn: HI! Is this where I am supposed to post pics of my boobies?

No, you're suppose to do that in email. Everyone knows, however, that BIE, like the cake, is a lie
2008-08-18 03:43:48 PM  

mequickwantslow: BESTTHE

You messed up right there. good job.
2008-08-18 03:43:48 PM  
What do I win?
2008-08-18 03:44:08 PM  
2008-08-18 03:44:15 PM  
At least we know that this thread will be off the main page by tomorrow, and the liters will have forgotten all about it.
2008-08-18 03:44:27 PM  
Saving a spot

/will post tomorrow after noon.

This thread

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2008-08-18 03:44:33 PM  
kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.comView Full Size

2008-08-18 03:44:38 PM  
img406.imageshack.usView Full Size

\not weenars
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