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(SFGate)   Did you plant a placenta? Cause it would be a whole lot cooler if you did   (sfgate.com) divider line 91
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12837 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Aug 2008 at 11:36 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-08-09 12:55:46 AM  
MeanJean: I'm suprised they would let him keep it. My mom had some bone removed from her knee and they wouldn't let her keep the bone.

I'm going to get my gall bladder removed in about a week or so. I wonder if it will be good for the flower bed...


That's odd. Well maybe not, when they call it "medical waste". From what I hear they save that up to dump it on the New Jersey shoreline. But that's just from reading MAD magazine, so who knows.

When I broke my shoulder, the doctor tried to screw it back together. He used a metal plate with two screws into either end of the break. I still have that.

We planned to plant the placentas from our two kids, but haven't yet. They're in our freezer. True story. Another true story: my sister-in-law planned to do the same. My nephew's placenta is still in my mother-in-law's freezer. The kid's nine years old.

Every once in a while somebody reaches in there and thinks they found a steak.
 
2008-08-09 01:02:16 AM  
nonamejoe: MeanJean: Every once in a while somebody reaches in there and thinks they found a steak.

Aaaaaaaaand *gag*.
 
2008-08-09 01:05:47 AM  
ChernobylOne: The placenta should always be buried. Preferably 10 miles under the surface of the earth, in a reinforced concrete and steel bunker.



I mean, come on, look at that thing! It looks like it's going to rise up, sprout tentacles and destroy us all. Valve could use them as new monsters in Half Life 3...


Dried placenta in capsules is a wonderful deterrent to PPD.

People cook placenta, fry placenta, dry placenta, dehydrate placenta...all for good reasons.

No, I've never kept a placenta. I don't think they're angelic reminders of our childrens' beginnings. I think they're a mass of muscle, veins, and hormones. That said, they are helpful in preventing the debilitation that is PPD. Who are you, any of you, to disparage any remedy that helps a woman feel more aware of, awake to, loving towards her newborn?

Your placenta, your business. Her placenta, you shut the fark up.
 
2008-08-09 01:05:47 AM  
Batewoman: I didn't keep my son's placenta and I'm due again in 3.5 weeks and probably won't keep that one either.

Donate your cord to a public stem cell bank. You might end up saving some lives.
 
2008-08-09 01:07:20 AM  
We're expecting our new baby any day now. We're planning on freeze-drying the placenta, grinding it up, and making capsules with the powder. We're having a homebirth with a couple of hippy midwives though, so most people think we're crazy anyway. If you give birth at the local hospital, you have to pay $200 to get your placenta afterwards.
 
2008-08-09 01:09:09 AM  
bugenhagen: Donate your cord to a public stem cell bank. You might end up saving some lives.

At the birth center I'll be going to, they don't cut the cord until all the blood has drained out of it into the baby. It helps prevent anemia and hypoglycemia in the baby. I'm afraid there won't be any blood in there to donate.
 
2008-08-09 01:09:10 AM  
Voldemort: We're expecting our new baby any day now. We're planning on freeze-drying the placenta, grinding it up, and making capsules with the powder. We're having a homebirth with a couple of hippy midwives though, so most people think we're crazy anyway. If you give birth at the local hospital, you have to pay $200 to get your placenta afterwards.

People after my own heart.

See you on Mothering. ;)

/5 babies, catch 'em all myself ;)
 
2008-08-09 01:10:33 AM  
I first saw this over a year-and-a-half ago and it still cracks me up:


From Overheard In New York:

Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.
Doctor: What name?
Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'
Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'
Doctor: No, don't tell me--
Nurse #2: Yep.
Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

--Hospital cafeteria
 
2008-08-09 01:11:54 AM  
Batewoman: bugenhagen: Donate your cord to a public stem cell bank. You might end up saving some lives.

At the birth center I'll be going to, they don't cut the cord until all the blood has drained out of it into the baby. It helps prevent anemia and hypoglycemia in the baby. I'm afraid there won't be any blood in there to donate.


There will still be blood in there. It's not like a vampire feeding, it's just that they want the baby to get the most out of it's time out of the womb, while still connected.

In my case, I have complete placental detachment and stage 3 within about 15 minutes of birth. Not much time to think about stuff like stem cells. ;)

In any case, make sure you keep your baby to yourself (it's YOUR child, not theirs), and deny anything that breaks the baby's skin at all (Vit K, vax, etc).
 
2008-08-09 01:12:26 AM  
They also make great stocking stuffers and hood ornaments.

/had no idea people actually had practical uses for placentas
//blargh
 
2008-08-09 01:14:54 AM  
Voldemort: We're expecting our new baby any day now. We're planning on freeze-drying the placenta, grinding it up, and making capsules with the powder. We're having a homebirth with a couple of hippy midwives though, so most people think we're crazy anyway. If you give birth at the local hospital, you have to pay $200 to get your placenta afterwards.

*puke*
 
2008-08-09 01:15:22 AM  
Danger Avoid Death: I first saw this over a year-and-a-half ago and it still cracks me up:


From Overheard In New York:

Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.
Doctor: What name?
Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'
Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'
Doctor: No, don't tell me--
Nurse #2: Yep.
Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

--Hospital cafeteria


I take offense to that. My mom's name is Placenta.
 
2008-08-09 01:17:05 AM  
Knowing my luck, if I were to plant it, some dog would come along, dig it up + have it for breakfast.

/Try throwing it in the crockpot with a nice chunky veggie sauce.
//Mmmm... placenta.
 
2008-08-09 01:18:17 AM  
Donate your cord to a public stem cell bank. You might end up saving some lives.


I tried to do that with two of my three kids. I was told that there was no protocol for it. Hopefully that is common practice by now.
 
2008-08-09 01:19:58 AM  
myalias1845: Danger Avoid Death: I first saw this over a year-and-a-half ago and it still cracks me up:


From Overheard In New York:

Nurse #1: I know, I still can't believe she signed that name on the birth certificate.
Doctor: What name?
Nurse #2: When Dr. Smith* delivered the afterbirth, this mom said, 'Oh my god, what is that?' and Dr. Smith said, 'That's the placenta.'
Nurse #1: Yeah, and then the freakin' idiot says, 'That's the most beautiful name I ever heard! I'm gonna name my baby Placenta.'
Doctor: No, don't tell me--
Nurse #2: Yep.
Doctor: I'm sorry I asked.

--Hospital cafeteria

I take offense to that. My mom's name is Placenta.


My apologies to your successful and attractive African American maternal unit.
 
2008-08-09 01:22:29 AM  
Captain Darling: Isn't it technically the baby's placenta?

You make it sound like the kid has squatter's rights.
 
2008-08-09 01:25:27 AM  
ChadManMn: Donate your cord to a public stem cell bank. You might end up saving some lives.


I tried to do that with two of my three kids. I was told that there was no protocol for it. Hopefully that is common practice by now.


You tried donating your kids? I'm sure there were more than a few times my parents wish they had thought of that.
 
2008-08-09 01:27:07 AM  
Matt should bury it next to a marijuana plant. When his son is in his teens, they can share a blunt. When he tells his kid "we're smoking your placenta" I'm pretty sure he will be turned off by weed.

BTW - I think Matt sounds like the Ant in the "Ant and the Aardvark" cartoon.
Link (new window)
 
2008-08-09 01:37:18 AM  
RocketCarHead: Matt should bury it next to a marijuana plant. When his son is in his teens, they can share a blunt. When he tells his kid "we're smoking your placenta" I'm pretty sure he will be turned off by weed.

BTW - I think Matt sounds like the Ant in the "Ant and the Aardvark" cartoon.
Link (new window)


OMG I REMEMBER THAT! I loved that cartoon!

But not Matthew McConaughey.
 
2008-08-09 01:40:15 AM  
Johnny Bananapeel: Firstborn's got planted underneath a peach tree. The peach tree died.

Second kid's got stuck in the chest freezer and thrown out later on.

All the births after that- I can't remember what the heck happened to them.


...and that's how we learned to always label the freezer bags.
 
2008-08-09 01:56:52 AM  
"I'll eat the placenta." --Tom Cruise
i3.tinypic.com
 
2008-08-09 02:01:45 AM  
Your not supposed to bury it, the woman is supposed to eat it. Get your milk to come in a few hours instead of days, no post partum depression, and bleeding for a week instead of six weeks after birth.

Yummy.

/no really...;)
 
2008-08-09 02:11:56 AM  
That shiat is gross....farking cannibals


/The eating not the planting
 
2008-08-09 02:21:21 AM  
Unless you need the nutrition, no benefit in eating the placenta.
So says Wikipedia.

/food for thought
/*ducks*
 
2008-08-09 03:00:27 AM  
I tried that! My cat dug it up and gnawed on it, so I had to rebury it. He dug it up again. After the third reburial ( it was pretty damn nasty at this point ) my dog dug it up and ate it. And then the raccoons ate the magnolia seed I planted. So, there went that idea.
 
2008-08-09 03:28:47 AM  
Placenta Clause?
 
2008-08-09 03:37:05 AM  
img520.imageshack.us
 
2008-08-09 03:40:06 AM  
including a John Mellencamp concert.

Wouldn't a concert be loud enough to seriously hurt a baby's ears?
 
2008-08-09 05:00:17 AM  
When I had my second kid, the doctor proudly held the placenta and practically threw it at my ex-husband. I wish she would have done that, because that would have been awesome.

/placentas are gross and not much fun to birth
 
2008-08-09 05:36:01 AM  
MiriamSingsLoud: "You're never told in our house, 'Shh, Levi is sleeping.' No. Get used to the ambiance. Come with us. That's how I was raised," he says.

THIS. My parents raised me to be able to sleep through anything. Quite a handy skill living on-campus in college.


Or the military. Although they do get a bit pissed off if you start to doze when you are sitting on the ready can right behind the firing line waiting for your turn to shoot.
 
2008-08-09 05:53:29 AM  
Am I the only one who immediately thought to himself "...needs to lay off the peyote"?
 
2008-08-09 07:46:15 AM  
geetus: /at least he didn't eat it

McConahey's diction makes him sound like he's always got a mouthful of placenta.
 
2008-08-09 08:09:37 AM  
What, no placenta tree jokes?
 
2008-08-09 08:34:29 AM  
Yes Sound: MiriamSingsLoud: "You're never told in our house, 'Shh, Levi is sleeping.' No. Get used to the ambiance. Come with us. That's how I was raised," he says.

THIS. My parents raised me to be able to sleep through anything. Quite a handy skill living on-campus in college.


Same with my family. That's why most babies scream all the effing time in public - they're so coddled and sheltered from loud or "inappropriate" sounds, large groups of people, etc. A lady I work with had a baby TWO MONTHS AGO and has yet to take it out in public, at the advice of her "mothering mentor". I feel bad for the little guy.

Back on topic, I'm from the South, so a placenta hanging around meant the dogs were going to be really happy for a week or so.
 
2008-08-09 09:43:16 AM  
Ok, they'll bury the placenta, but what will they do with the foreskin? Add it to the morning bacon & eggs, mix it with the hamburger helper, fry it and serve with some fish-n-chips...?

I was more disturbed by the comment that they are taking a newborn to a John Mellencamp concert. Sure, its not heavy acid/metal rock, but its still not a good thing to blow-out a newborns eardrums on that music.
 
2008-08-09 10:31:26 AM  
Voldemort: We're expecting our new baby any day now.

Batewoman: I'm due again in 3.5 weeks...

Congratulations! I'm seven months along myself, and I'm sure there are all sorts of placenta pranks in the near future.
 
2008-08-09 10:59:34 AM  
Yes Sound:
Or the military. Although they do get a bit pissed off if you start to doze when you are sitting on the ready can right behind the firing line waiting for your turn to shoot.


Wow...and people think that the Navy is a little weird for calling it "the head".

/Oh yeah, the placenta stuff is a little too squeamish for the morning.
 
2008-08-09 11:36:07 AM  
TibrisXVII: What, no placenta tree jokes?

Cause everyone knows a placenta can't
Grow a rubbertree plant

/How was that?
 
2008-08-09 01:05:56 PM  
They'll name it Rooter and it will father many piggies for all time...

/obscure?
//wouldn't think so here...
 
2008-08-09 02:54:10 PM  
Tr0mBoNe 2008-08-08 11:53:45 PM
Any human remains will rot and become plant food. The tree growing in my back yard over my mass grave serves as a pesky reminder of that weekend.

That is some funny stuff.
 
2008-08-09 10:54:09 PM  
I haven't been this grossed out since the last time I visited /b/.
 
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