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(Politicker NJ)   "It surprised the officer when Yates lifted up his shirt and removed a 3 1/2-pound package of Foster Farms chicken breasts from the front of his pants."   (knbc.com) divider line 68
    More: Dumbass  
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5065 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Aug 2008 at 6:07 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-08-06 02:33:37 PM  
That's what she said.
 
2008-08-06 02:38:06 PM  
It amazes me at what gets the green light.
 
2008-08-06 02:42:34 PM  
i46.photobucket.com
 
2008-08-06 02:46:31 PM  
ksparrothd: It amazes me at what gets the green light.

Sponsored link from Foster Farms.
 
2008-08-06 02:50:24 PM  
If I had breasts in my pants, I'd never leave the house!

/rim shot!
 
2008-08-06 03:01:23 PM  
Where else was he supposed to keep cock?
 
2008-08-06 03:11:29 PM  
is that chicken in your pants or are you happy to see me
 
2008-08-06 03:49:53 PM  
okay, asshole, but you tell me how else I was supposed to defrost them??
 
2008-08-06 04:32:10 PM  
If you have breasts in your pants, you may need to fire your tailor.
 
2008-08-06 04:42:26 PM  
..."Aw Mabel, you've seen one you've seen 'em all"

"Yeah, but this one's eating my popcorn!"


/channeling dead Vaudeville comedian
 
2008-08-06 04:43:26 PM  
My mother told me that one time while out grocery shopping, she watched as the store manager confronted an old man who looked like he was bleeding from the top of his head.
She said that the guy was trying to smuggle out a roast under his top hat but it wasn't wrapped completely so the blood started running down his face.

First off, horrible idea from the senile old man.
Second, my mother wizzed right by the part about the top hat, and I had to ask her what she meant, and she said like what a magician wears.

wow.. impressive.
 
2008-08-06 04:58:39 PM  
You know who else had breasts in the front of his pants?

img239.imageshack.us
 
2008-08-06 05:17:27 PM  
John Coyote: ..."Aw Mabel, you've seen one you've seen 'em all"

"Yeah, but this one's eating my popcorn!"


So that's the joke where that line in Men in Black came from. Thank you, Internets.
 
2008-08-06 05:25:47 PM  
Least he had chicken.
 
2008-08-06 05:36:21 PM  
Cagey B: Least he had chicken.

LEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOY M'Jenkins!!!
 
2008-08-06 06:10:57 PM  
He pulled out 3.5 pounds of cock?
 
2008-08-06 06:12:48 PM  
Officer Noticed Unusual Buldge In Man's Pants

Is this some kind of new-age spelling of bulge?
 
2008-08-06 06:13:46 PM  
Hasn't this happened to us all? Just as wee leave the store some random cop asks to see our junk. BTDT
 
2008-08-06 06:13:59 PM  
That's just fowl.
 
2008-08-06 06:15:54 PM  
"A man with an unusual bulge in his pants was arrested in front of a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Palm Springs"

oh, great. So now having a large bulge in your pants is probable cause in Palm Springs? I'd better avoid that town...
 
2008-08-06 06:17:03 PM  
ksparrothd: It amazes me at what gets the green light.

I am amazed that certain people manage to log onto the Internet, let alone figure out how to post a comment.
 
2008-08-06 06:18:21 PM  
I recall a friend who worked as a bagger one high-school summer talking about some lady that tried to steal a canned ham by holding it under her dress and between her knees. It kept shifting. She finally made a mad dash for the door, looking sorta like Tim Conway doing that "old guy" shuffle.
 
2008-08-06 06:18:53 PM  
What happened to the package of chicken? Someone in Palm Springs probably has it in their fridge. Do you know where that chicken has been?
 
2008-08-06 06:19:00 PM  
if putting chicken in my pants is a crime just throw me in prison right now.
 
2008-08-06 06:21:39 PM  
Surpised?

So up until he showed them the chicken they had no idea he might have stolen it?


Neat-o lawsuit if I get yanked by the cops for no reason and start getting slammed with questions.
 
2008-08-06 06:22:02 PM  
"A man with an unusual bulge in his pants was arrested in front of a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Palm Springs when he admitted he was trying to steal chicken"


The store put it back on the shelf, and was happy to have it back.
 
2008-08-06 06:22:58 PM  
Those poor misguided Steve Martin fans

Be pompous, obese, and eat cactus,
Be dull, and boring, and omnipresent,
Criticize things you don't know about,
Be oblong and have your knees removed.

Be tasteless, rude, and offensive,
Live in a swamp and be three dimensional,
Put a live chicken in your underwear,
Get all excited and go to a yawning festival.


You're doing it wrong!
 
2008-08-06 06:24:12 PM  
Lots and lots of meat gets shoplifted. Where else are people going to hide it?
 
2008-08-06 06:24:32 PM  
img148.imageshack.us
 
2008-08-06 06:24:40 PM  
I miss the Foster Farms restaurant I used to go to in Cali when I lived out there briefly. Those genetically-enhanced chicken boulders were da bomb.
 
2008-08-06 06:25:37 PM  
Dr.Knockboots: My mother told me that one time while out grocery shopping, she watched as the store manager confronted an old man who looked like he was bleeding from the top of his head.
She said that the guy was trying to smuggle out a roast under his top hat but it wasn't wrapped completely so the blood started running down his face.

First off, horrible idea from the senile old man.
Second, my mother wizzed right by the part about the top hat, and I had to ask her what she meant, and she said like what a magician wears.

wow.. impressive.


APPROVES (new window)
 
2008-08-06 06:25:42 PM  
img177.imageshack.us
 
2008-08-06 06:25:49 PM  
approves
i221.photobucket.com
 
2008-08-06 06:29:05 PM  
Randomly, just 2 days ago I was in the grocery store (my neighborhood varies between nice and the hood, sometimes on the same block) and heard a security guard talking to an acquaintance- he said they catch at least one person a day stealing, of every description, including sometimes well-off people.

/I know, what an exciting life I lead
 
2008-08-06 06:32:14 PM  

"But I, being poor, have only my frozen chicken; I have spread my chicken inside my pants; Grab softly because you grab on my dreams."


William Butler Yeats ~Timothy Yates

 
2008-08-06 06:34:19 PM  
some people will do anything to choke the chicken
 
2008-08-06 06:35:59 PM  
yvan.auffret: "A man with an unusual bulge in his pants was arrested in front of a Wal-Mart Supercenter in Palm Springs"

oh, great. So now having a large bulge in your pants is probable cause in Palm Springs? I'd better avoid that town...



Leave the codpiece at home... Problem solved...
 
2008-08-06 06:40:35 PM  
mama's_tasty_foods: Randomly, just 2 days ago I was in the grocery store (my neighborhood varies between nice and the hood, sometimes on the same block) and heard a security guard talking to an acquaintance- he said they catch at least one person a day stealing, of every description, including sometimes well-off people.

/I know, what an exciting life I lead


I had a friend who was pretty much well off but he would steal the most stupidest shyt
/If you are going to steal why not steal something worth something
//hated going shopping with him because of guilt by association
 
2008-08-06 06:43:23 PM  
Give that man a Cold Cock.
 
2008-08-06 06:43:52 PM  
 
2008-08-06 06:44:36 PM  
there seems to be a couple o logistical problems with this:

1. Shrinkage
2. the chicken would taste all penisy.
3. the penis would smell like chicken

/ewww there is penis in my chicken
 
2008-08-06 06:44:47 PM  
yvan.auffret: oh, great. So now having a large bulge in your pants is probable cause in Palm Springs? I'd better avoid that town...

I don't like the police either, but FTFA:

Sgt. Mitch Spike said an officer at the store at 5601 E. Ramon Road asked Yates if he had anything on him that the officer should know about.

"It surprised the officer when Yates lifted up his shirt and removed a 3 1/2-pound package of Foster Farms chicken breasts from the front of his pants," he said.


If this is accurate (though keep in mind that cops lie all the time), the cop did do nothing wrong. Yates should have responded, "Nope officer. Have a nice day!" Instead he said "Hi I'm guilty of shoplifting and here is the evidence. Please arrest me." So the cop arrested him.
 
2008-08-06 06:47:45 PM  
My first stint at jury duty was over a guy who had taken two packages of ribs from a store.

Sounds silly,but it turned into an armed robbery charge,when the guy pointed a gun at the security guard trying to detain him.
 
2008-08-06 06:47:54 PM  
It was a prank. he was pledging a frat.

/so, we're having a toga party...
 
2008-08-06 06:49:54 PM  
Cock-a-doodle-do.
 
2008-08-06 06:50:53 PM  
Three and a half pounds of chicken breasts in the front of his pants?

maybe he wanted a boob job...
 
2008-08-06 06:53:01 PM  
content.answers.com
 
2008-08-06 06:53:47 PM  
www.octoberscreams.com
 
2008-08-06 06:55:17 PM  
You Farkers don't know how if feels to stick yourself in a cold wet chicken
 
2008-08-06 06:55:58 PM  
$5000 bail for shoplifting a $5-$10 piece of chicken? How about issued a summons for shoplifting and ordered to appear in court? When did this become such a ridiculous police state?
 
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