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(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Woman accused of trying to cram a peanut in the mouth of her allergic neighbor. Nutjob should pecan somebody her own size   (news.cincinnati.com) divider line 66
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5703 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 Jul 2008 at 7:37 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-07-23 01:59:06 AM
maybe she was just trying to butter him up.
 
2008-07-23 02:04:35 AM
I'm sure they'll settle the matter out of court for a lump sum of cashew.
 
2008-07-23 02:05:11 AM
Is her name Hazel?

/drtfa
 
2008-07-23 02:14:14 AM
i14.photobucket.com
Ya know peanuts aren't actually nuts. they're legumes.
 
2008-07-23 02:19:43 AM
Almond, that's a bunch of cacahuete right there!
 
2008-07-23 02:21:02 AM
What if you say the word "pee-kan?"
 
OKO
2008-07-23 02:44:27 AM
+1 for the headline, subby.
 
2008-07-23 02:46:16 AM
Got nuttin.
 
2008-07-23 03:56:22 AM
I see nut you did there, subby.
 
2008-07-23 04:32:26 AM
That biatch is nuts.
 
2008-07-23 05:48:58 AM
All of the writing is on the wallnut. She's going to jail.
 
2008-07-23 06:18:54 AM
What a goober. But I bet most farkers are wondering if she had a Brazillian.
 
2008-07-23 06:58:32 AM
DaCricket: Is her name Hazel?

sublime.
 
2008-07-23 07:02:19 AM
Its peanut butter jaily time!
 
2008-07-23 07:15:32 AM
Something... something... something... "filbert"!
 
2008-07-23 07:44:25 AM
www.mtv.com

/didn't like the kid's acting in this movie.
 
2008-07-23 07:44:31 AM
I read that as "Woman accused of trying to cream a peanut in the mouth of her allergic neighbor."
 
2008-07-23 07:44:47 AM
galewgleason

That is one freaky looking kid. What's with the giant adult-sized eyes? Creeeeepy.
 
2008-07-23 07:46:19 AM
Approves:
tbn0.google.com
 
2008-07-23 07:59:26 AM
Clearly, she is nuts.
 
2008-07-23 08:02:30 AM
The headline gets the story in a nutshell ...
 
2008-07-23 08:02:35 AM
Two peanuts were walking down the street.

One of them was assaulted.

/the veal, try it
 
2008-07-23 08:07:59 AM
I officially nominate this headline for the HOTY competition.

Bravo, Smitty.
 
2008-07-23 08:15:45 AM
can we just preemptively kill all these peanut allergy kids and get on with it?
 
eno
2008-07-23 08:17:56 AM
galewgleason: Ya know peanuts aren't actually nuts. they're legumes.

Despite the presence of the jar in the picture, THAT AIN'T PEANUTBUTTER!!!
 
2008-07-23 08:20:09 AM
CastorPimp: can we just preemptively kill all these peanut allergy kids and get on with it?

Nah, it would be perfect for the many tortures of..... The Spanish Inquisition!

/smite
//smite
///smite
////slice
 
2008-07-23 08:24:57 AM
Corryville. That explains a lot.
 
2008-07-23 08:36:05 AM
Whatta ya expect from Ohio? I noticed immediately that nobody in OH thought this was strange enough to suggest the perpetrator be checked by a psychiatrist... They didn't comment whether alcohol was a factor, but maybe that's just a given...
 
2008-07-23 08:45:09 AM
submitter: Woman accused of trying to cram a peanut in the mouth of her allergic neighbor. Nutjob should pecan somebody her own size.Peanuts!

FTFY.


uatuba: What if you say the word "pee-kan?"

Then you'd read it like you were a southie. Nutjahb shud pecan somebahdy hah own sahze.
 
2008-07-23 08:49:00 AM
galewgleason: Ya know peanuts aren't actually nuts. they're legumes.

Well, technically, neither are pecans. They're drupes.
 
2008-07-23 08:53:03 AM
Probably shops at Wal-Nut
 
2008-07-23 09:00:45 AM
FTFA - According to police and court records, Lee was riding in a car with a neighbor, Shenna Ferguson, just after 6 p.m., when she allegedly tried to put the peanut in Ferguson's mouth.

"I told her to stop because I was very (allergic) to peanuts," Ferguson wrote in an affidavit. "She laughed."


Wait, this nutty broad tried to mess with the driver of the car where she was riding shotgun? Holy hell, she's crazy.
 
2008-07-23 09:03:59 AM
www.dtdstudios.com
 
2008-07-23 09:09:11 AM
You know, 'nuts' are a very difficult theme to base puns on. Part of the difficulty is that different types of nuts, well, end with the suffix 'nut'. Walnut, chestnut, etcetera. I mean, you can try all day, right, but in the end if you don't succeed you will be left feeling a shell of your former self.
 
2008-07-23 09:09:49 AM
Zwei peaunuts ver valking down ze strasse...

Und one was assaulted...... peanut.
 
2008-07-23 09:09:58 AM
 
2008-07-23 09:14:12 AM
I used to shove nuts in my neighbors mouth. She was cool about it though.
 
2008-07-23 09:18:38 AM
This is just nuts!
 
2008-07-23 09:21:28 AM
galewgleason: Ya know peanuts aren't actually nuts. they're legumes.

Definitve birth control, that pic.
 
2008-07-23 09:22:14 AM
galewgleason: Ya know peanuts aren't actually nuts. they're legumes.

So that kid ate so many peanuts he diarrhea'd all over himself?
 
2008-07-23 09:27:10 AM
Puns are the lowest form of humor.

-1
 
2008-07-23 09:35:18 AM
Sometimes you feel like a nut, sometimes you don't?
 
2008-07-23 09:35:43 AM
Anyone else wonder why these 2 were riding in the same car together? One would think that if the one biatch is crazy/mean enough to be such a total dick, that the neighbor wouldn't have let her in the car in the first place. See, when I don't like someone, I don't give them rides to the mall. I really doubt that up till this point she was a completely normal person and they were on friendly enough terms to go places together.
 
2008-07-23 09:38:44 AM
FTA: "Lee allegedly threw peanuts at Ferguson when the women reached the mall. Ferguson went inside, then returned to her car to fetch an ATM card. She noticed Lee was stooped near Ferguson's gold Chrysler, "messing with my tires."

The windshield wipers were torn off, the car was keyed and the tires were deflated, Ferguson wrote."


Methinks these two have a complicated relationship.
 
2008-07-23 09:43:05 AM
Cortez the Killer: Puns are the lowest form of humor.

-1


How can you -1 something when you're not a TFer?
Ohh I get it, I guess Drew reads all the threads and tallies up all the +1's and -1's that people give in their comments, and gives the submission a final overall score. Then this review is sent to the submitter via e-mail with some feedback and a a few points of constructive criticism. I get it now.

i141.photobucket.com
 
2008-07-23 09:43:58 AM
Cortez the Killer: Puns are the lowest form of humor.

-1


Great Fark handle, horrible sensibility. Everyone knows that a good pun is it's own re-word.
 
2008-07-23 09:44:06 AM
PirateKing: Zwei peaunuts ver valking down ze strasse...

Und one was assaulted...... peanut.


Take cover!!!!
 
2008-07-23 09:47:20 AM
FTFA - she..tried to put the peanut in Ferguson's mouth.

"I told her to stop because I was very (allergic) to peanuts," Ferguson wrote in an affidavit. "She laughed."




Euphamism? .. the ole' "peanut in the mouth, eh?" nudge nudge grin grin wink wink



 
2008-07-23 09:57:46 AM
joegekko: Cortez the Killer: Puns are the lowest form of humor.

-1

Great Fark handle, horrible sensibility. Everyone knows that a good pun is it's own re-word.


*applauds*

/he who would pun would pick a pocket
 
2008-07-23 10:07:08 AM
Did they haul her off in a jif and planters in jail?
 
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