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(BrokenNewz)   Asian Wins First Ebonics Competition   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
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10855 clicks; posted to Main » on 08 Dec 2002 at 6:57 PM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

38 Comments     (+0 »)
2002-12-08 07:00:46 PM  
Ebonics? That's like soooo 1998.
2002-12-08 07:01:19 PM  
i asked snoop, he said no shizzle.
2002-12-08 07:03:27 PM  
I'd just like to point out that on the right side of the page, there's an "Olsen Twins Legal Age Countdown" banner.

MMMMmmmm....Olsen Twins.
2002-12-08 07:04:09 PM  
"Why, little Huong Lee has worked hard. And anyway, I'm just glad he isn't a Jewish kid."

Uh, yeah, that's not racist.
2002-12-08 07:04:54 PM  
Upon further inspection, it's 552 days, 19 hours, 54 minutes, and 57!!
2002-12-08 07:10:08 PM  
Hey Cscx I agree and it's only becasue he attends Macom X memorial HS. shiat if I cause enough turmoil maybe I could get one named after me.
2002-12-08 07:16:57 PM  
12-08-02 07:00:46 PM IthLa
Ebonics? That's like soooo 1998.

That's exactly what I thought, except I was gonna say 1997.
2002-12-08 07:20:52 PM  
Olson Twins countdown? keeeeryst, everybody has an Olson twins countdown these days. Gee, and I thought I was being original when I made one two years ago.
2002-12-08 07:20:56 PM  
Cscx and KentuckyBob-- it's SATIRE. Can you people read ANYTHING without looking for ways to be offended by it?
2002-12-08 07:22:15 PM  
ya knoe what? im aZn foOl. yUp, we beEn da Illest on tha strEETz. recoGnize aZn prYde woRld WiDe!!!
2002-12-08 07:22:56 PM  
we need more boobies up in these fizzorums, biatch.
2002-12-08 07:31:20 PM  
Farked for me... anyone have a cache?

2002-12-08 07:31:37 PM  
Ishkur - Now are you not just bad mouthing satire site, but also trying to take credit for them. Which one is it man? CHOOSE!!

how sad
2002-12-08 07:36:37 PM  
Man, I love it when someone gets whooshed by a satire site.

C'mon, guys, didn't the bee with the pick in his little bee 'fro tip you off?
2002-12-08 07:37:21 PM  
Ohllready...dis some bullshiat my peeps gonna let some lil China nubian beat dem foos at they own shlang...I blame dis on da parents, they no doin' they job and sh[nospam-﹫-backwards]t***Ebonics Foo..word up my to my homies in tha hood...poe out a litta licca...i'm out!
2002-12-08 07:47:27 PM  
I'm not taking credit at all. I have no qualms with suggesting that these guys came up with this completely and totally unoriginal idea independent of me.

I got the idea from seeing the Britney Spears countdown thingy a few years ago, after all. Fun with stupid javasript tricks.
2002-12-08 07:57:35 PM  
G-Fresh is down wit da homeys, yo.
2002-12-08 08:17:43 PM  
Whoops, didn't see the satire tag, the joke's on me.
2002-12-08 08:59:46 PM  
Cscx: You thought there was an actual Ebonics competition? Man, I'd rather be known for a lack of humour than a lack of ability to read, if I was you.

Damn, that was a funny tagline though!
2002-12-08 09:00:26 PM  
Pretty sorry satire. Or maybe I just know too much about language to be amused by it. A kid who is capable of picking up English in seven months is going to pick up "Ebonics" (aka African-American Vernacular English) just as quickly, if not even more quickly, since it's structurally very similar.

I guess the joke is supposed to be that English is a "real" language and so-called "Ebonics" is just a random string of words like "biatch" and "shiznit". Well, WRONG, and stupid people who don't know anything about language should just shut the hell up.
2002-12-08 09:24:21 PM  
OsamaBonJovi - The author recognizes that. Simmer down now.
2002-12-08 09:39:17 PM  
What was that AZN song from a long time ago that talked about rice?

It started out something like:

It's the AZN nubianz fark the rest
Dallas to New York, jiggaz
We're the best

and then goes on with something like:

got cars,
got clothes,
got girls like us?

I knew it had to be satire because Japan, for example, doesn't really have many fast cars. American cars with big engines are a status symbol over there.

Same with the clothes. They've assimilated American culture since they buy used Levis from America for top dollar. Or is that top Yen? Top Ramen?

And then there's the comment about the girls. Very few asian girls are cute. But those who are are absolute knockouts!

Why would an "AZN" rap a song about AZN Pride while doing so with a 100% Ebonic accent. And if I remember correctly, East Asian people absolutely hate Blacks... and almost everyone else too.

Goddamn Mongorrians!
Everytime Chinese put up wall you have to come knock it down
farking Mongorrians!

Heh, South Park.....
2002-12-08 10:11:09 PM  
Yeah this joke was funnier when Norm MacDonald said it on Saturday Night Live 5 years ago.
2002-12-08 10:49:52 PM  
OK ... old joke:

You know why there are only 49 contestants in the Miss Ebonics USA contest?

Because no one wanted to wear a banner that says "Idaho."

[ducks & runs]
2002-12-08 11:03:45 PM  
Camaroash: I believe it's Got Rice? by Y2Khai
2002-12-08 11:06:56 PM  
Hey OsamaBonJovi try reinstalling your sense of humour you might not be such a miserable SOB if you can get it to work.
2002-12-08 11:41:42 PM  
Hey Far_queue_2, my sense of humor works just fine. I just consider the joke too stupid to be funny. And no, that's not because it isn't politically correct. I just know enough linguistic theory to consider the joke to be extremely poor satire.

It's like 10 years ago when people were making jokes about how hard it was to program their VCRs. Those jokes weren't funny to me either, because I never found VCRs very hard to program. Maybe the problem is that I'm not stupid enough for this kind of humor.

I know, I'll get a lobotomy and then I can be just like you. Moron.
2002-12-08 11:48:04 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

2002-12-09 12:02:46 AM  
Ooooohh I know some linguistic theory too, does that mean I'm not allowed to laugh at jokes that poke fun at it ?
Must be pretty dull in your world.
2002-12-09 12:16:16 AM  
Hey OsamaBonJovi:

"I guess the joke is supposed to be that English is a "real" language and so-called "Ebonics" is just a random string of words like "biatch" and "shiznit". Well, WRONG, and stupid people who don't know anything about language should just shut the hell up."

That has got to be one of the STUPIDEST statements I have ever read. Yeah, Ebonics is a real language...sure... Just learn some basic English words, forego all rules of spelling and grammar, and then just make up other words to fill the gaps.
2002-12-09 12:23:20 AM  
ebonics isn't a "bona fide language" - it's a lingua franca, creole or a pidgin. i forget the difference. for ebonics to become a bona-fide language it has to be a national language, if i remember linguistics correctly.
2002-12-09 12:56:21 AM  
ebonics be all like ya know no tiknin freestyle wordin' ya heard we ain'st got no rules to hold down da playaz from layin out they vibe. id be all like "fashizzle muh nizzle." word up G, rest in peace Biggy.
2002-12-09 02:22:29 AM  
"I guess the joke is supposed to be that English is a "real" language and so-called "Ebonics" is just a random string of words like "biatch" and "shiznit"."

Well, I guess we can safely assume you didn't get this one, Brainiac. Um...I think the joke was that Ebonics, being based in Black American culture, was basically copped by an Asian kid. IRONY. A useful tool in satire. Occasionally used by those of us who do not have our heads so far up our collective bungholes that we ignore a joke when "getting" it would stop us from talking about how smart we are, and stuff. Far be it from me or anyone else to deny you an opportunity to boast about your linguistic superiority.

There is no basis whatsoever for your assertion that the satire is based on ignorance of Ebonics. You saw a chance to biatch, and took it, logic be damned. Put it back in your pants and save it for something relevant, 'kay?
2002-12-09 06:44:23 AM  
Wuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz Uppppppppppppppppppppppp!
2002-12-09 08:24:30 AM  
Diizamm, I broke my shiznit looking at biatches, yo...
2002-12-09 08:45:49 AM  
Poor grammar is a language?
2002-12-09 12:22:44 PM  
Ebonics isn't a real language anymore than Spanglish, Cockney, or Hick.
2002-12-09 08:39:16 PM  
Dagnabbit, you whippersnappers betta watch wha you say abou hicks!
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