Manic_Repressive: Doctor Funkenstein: This little gem popped up on the first page on a GIS for "baptism." I just thought I'd share it with the rest of the class.

Prelude to a Dutch Rudder?

3rdLostPassword: the pics in this link (pops) it looks like there is lots of room to do whatever you want away from the boat ramp.

So yeah, I'm gonna say the baptizers were being dicks.

agreed that they were being dicks, but that's the fishing pier, probably not allowed to swim there so they don't get hooks caught in people...

mikaloyd: Also there is a pier with a fishing platform. So it is not a single use boat ramp.

This makes no sense. Separate things, each with its own function.

Plus the picnic ground with beach and the generally accessible, tree lined shore shown in the Google pic.

But this thread sure does explain the mentality of some people who use boat ramps for something other than launching boats.

And why, now, the baptizers have to go to City Hall for permission (doesn't say there will be a sign though - and there doesn't have to be a sign everywhere, dammit, people ought to know their local rules and ordinances - especially people who are leaders of morality-pushing organizations).

It a farking boat ramp...

Not a "baptism ramp"...

Go dunk yourself Soddy-Daisy baptisers.

What the hell kind of name is Soddy-Daisy anyway?

This thread is quite the two minute hate.

Meh, you (young white urban GAYGAYGAY antiChrist farkers who have been brainwashed by the teevee to hate your own countrymen by the tens of millions) will be the very first to perish when the race war breaks out. The Christians are armed to the teeth and you are not. I'll enjoy your pain and sorrow when the blacks and latinos start killing you by the millions.

Baz the Spaz: What the hell kind of name is Soddy-Daisy

There are various tales about how Soddy and Daisy were named. One maintains Soddy is an anglicization of the Indian "Tsati" meaning sipping place. With Soddy Lake, the many creeks and streams, this could be true. A second states that Welch inhabitants corrupted the name of William Sodder's Trading Post to "Soddy." The Community of Daisy was named after Daisy Parks, daughter of Thomas Parks, who was the vice-president of the Tabler-Clendys Coal Company. (pops)

EliteAnalyst: This thread is quite the two minute hate.

Meh, you (young white urban GAYGAYGAY antiChrist farkers who have been brainwashed by the teevee to hate your own countrymen by the tens of millions) will be the very first to perish when the race war breaks out. The Christians are armed to the teeth and you are not. I'll enjoy your pain and sorrow when the blacks and latinos start killing you by the millions.

Um, actually I AM armed to the teeth.

And are you implying that only black and latino christians are armed? Or are you implying that all other races are gangsters?

That sir, is racist.

Baptisms? At my boat ramp? It better be less common than I think!

/My Mercruiser 130 hp sterndrive with 19.5 x 21 prop at 4500 rpm, let me show you it...

EliteAnalyst: This thread is quite the two minute hate.

Meh, you (young white urban GAYGAYGAY antiChrist farkers who have been brainwashed by the teevee to hate your own countrymen by the tens of millions) will be the very first to perish when the race war breaks out. The Christians are armed to the teeth and you are not. I'll enjoy your pain and sorrow when the blacks and latinos start killing you by the millions.

5/10, mostly because you tried too hard. besides, wouldn't us brown folk be hated just as much by the xtians and therefor form an alliance with the atheists?

advres: I would have just gone and pissed in the water near them.

Perfect.

Amish Animal Scientist: form an alliance

It's a race war, not Survivor!

CarcinogenCrunchies: Soddy-Daisy appears to have a population of less than 15k. How do 40 of them in a single church need to be baptized in one day, anyway?

Most people there get baptised monthly.

EliteAnalyst: This thread is quite the two minute hate.

Meh, you (young white urban GAYGAYGAY antiChrist farkers who have been brainwashed by the teevee to hate your own countrymen by the tens of millions) will be the very first to perish when the race war breaks out. The Christians are armed to the teeth and you are not. I'll enjoy your pain and sorrow when the blacks and latinos start killing you by the millions.

Um - some of us ARE blacks and Latinos, and therefore, have no need of the Christian militias, and I'm betting on the blacks and Latinos over the white fundie gun-toters you seem to think are Teh Killin Macheen.

Most of the Farkian pagans will be overlooked in the bloodbath, while the above-mentioned groups toast each other. From what I can tell, all but about 3 Farkers are pretty smart - and will find ways to profit from the conflict, rather than be embroiled in it.

Some of us might even be Samoan (who are in league with the blacks and Latinos - and even the blacks and Latinos fear and acknowledge Samoan Power). (I thought I'd throw that in, since it might make more sense to your addled brain than anything else I said).

/still shakin' my head at your post

Meh, Tennesee. A non-human enclave, what do you expect?

EliteAnalCyst: whoa keep your name calling and stereotypes in check. its the christians (priests, congressmen, etc.) that are gay, not the anti-christ farkers. Race war? please. Everyone is armed here.

Step away from the 'teevee' and you'll notice that reverend billy-bob isnt the only one who's armed, what about cletus the meth head? or T-money the crack dealer?

As far as hating tens of millions of our countrymen... well using the southpark model (1/4 of the population is retarded) which correlates nicely to the ~25-30% of our country still supporting the president... and i would say that easily accounts for all of you.

Overall i'll give that a 6/10

/you may go back under the bridge now

3rdLostPassword: Amish Animal Scientist: form an alliance

It's a race war, not Survivor!

well, breaking it down to just whites vs. blacks vs. latinos is far too simple in that case. and besides -as a brown person myself i find this retarded- the blacks and latinos dislike each other enough that they'd probably just take each other out, so again the white atheists would just be going against the white xtians, or something.... far too much thought is going into this.... may make for a retardedly bad/good apocalyptic story though

hej: Most people there get baptised monthly.

Damn. That's gotta be time consuming (and apparently, boat-ramp consuming).

EliteAnalyst: This thread is quite the two minute hate.

Meh, you (young white urban GAYGAYGAY antiChrist farkers who have been brainwashed by the teevee to hate your own countrymen by the tens of millions) will be the very first to perish when the race war breaks out. The Christians are armed to the teeth and you are not. I'll enjoy your pain and sorrow when the blacks and latinos start killing you by the millions.

Get out of my swamp.

R.A.Danny: Would it be wrong to take a big old treble hook, bait it with a gob of worms, and toss that in the middle of the baptisees?

Jig and a minnow more acceptable?

I get good results with a spinner bait...sometimes a spoon jig. It's all in the presentation.

hej: Most people there get baptised monthly.

they probably sin so much and are such huge hypocrites that they feel they're entitled to mulligan baptisms.

RaptorRed: Umm not to point out the obvious, but couldn't the church group move over to a part of the bank that doesn't have a boat ramp? I mean unless they're baptizing vehicles there is no reason they can't use another part of the bank to do the service.

This is exactly what the church group that has baptism's near one of the boat ramps I use. We did wait about 15 minutes one time for them to finish when we were coming back in though just to be considerate though. For the most part they don't interfere with boat launches.

The real fun thing about it is if they happen to be the "dunk the whole body backwards" type of baptisms they are right next to the MOST POLLUTED PLACE IN THE LAKE!!

Seriously all the spilled fuel and other junk from the careless boaters (and some fuel from clean ones as well) accumulate in the spot where everybody congregates.

4th of JULY..??

Add that to the fact they could have just moved down just a little bit (see that picture of the 2 guys in the weeds above?) and I wonder if this was not done SPECIFICALLY to attract attention to what they were doing, and try to promote their church

Thidgeld: RaptorRed: Umm not to point out the obvious, but couldn't the church group move over to a part of the bank that doesn't have a boat ramp? I mean unless they're baptizing vehicles there is no reason they can't use another part of the bank to do the service.

This is exactly what the church group that has baptism's near one of the boat ramps I use. We did wait about 15 minutes one time for them to finish when we were coming back in though just to be considerate though. For the most part they don't interfere with boat launches.

And $20 says they didn't do it on the Fourth of July. If the church-goers in this article had chosen another day, I doubt the controversy would have been so great. It's a sacrilege--like only serving tofu on Thanksgiving. Not in my house, Daddy.

mikaloyd: right to live

Well... okay, that's a bit of hyperbole right there too.

Amish Animal Scientist: the blacks and latinos dislike each other

Well, I've got to assume there'll be a temporary banding together against the Caucasians and once that's settled, a further fracturing along the other race lines.

I haven't figured out what happens to the 'race traitors' on either side quite yet. Maybe our crazy buddy EliteAnalust can help us out.

Gold...

The "baptism" picture of gay-jesus..

everything else...


Its a PUBLIC USE ramp? boaters=taxpayers.. how is the church doing on paying its taxes? oh thats right, in America cults are not only encouraged but the government makes things easy for them.

tonkin:

Hm I'd think we're in trouble when we get to a day and time where we have to tiptoe around so as not to upset a religious group that was using a public location for a religious service, monopolizing the location for an inordinate amount of time and blatantly disregarding its intended use.

THIS.

Sounds to me like a good time to organize an impromptu Wiccan ceremony.

If you read further down you will notice that this must have been a busy city council meeting....

City Attorney Elliott said that in the past, the city has set age limits on mobile homes and that when one "transcends the age limit but is still a good looking mobile home and would be appropriate for the neighborhood, then we'll go a little bit over that age limit."

I think that sums up everything....

Sounds like a good place to take a group of special needs kids for a swim. Or bad. One or the other.

CarcinogenCrunchies: hej: Most people there get baptised monthly.

Damn. That's gotta be time consuming (and apparently, boat-ramp consuming).

Well, that's one way to get them to bathe regularly.

Baptism at the boat ramp though...yuck...that's where all the spilled fuel and fish guts end up.

This is what happens when you cheap out on the holy water.

If they just bought Genuine Pope Piss, they wouldn't have to be re-baptizing themselves every other weekend.

/It's Frothy!

Well, hard times flush the chumps

/everybody's lookin' for answers

Makes sense to me.

1. Baptists make it a mission to practice publicly, loudly, and share their message with everyone (in direct contradiction to what Jesus said).

2. They choose a public place on what they know is one of the busiest days of the year.

3. Their service lasts many times longer than a normal boat launch.

4. People are forced to wait and watch.

5. Baptists have accomplished their goal, feel self-righteous, ignored Jesus, pissed off other people, and can claim to be persecuted.

FTFA In other business, the commission unanimously approved a zoning ordinance relating to the location of used mobile homes.

funkonomics: This contextualizes the situation. Mobile home time limits + god baths = Chattanooga

Naaa... Soddy-Daisy is 30-45 minutes northerly from Chattanooga. It's a bit out in the boonies from us town folk. (And it doesn't surprise me one bit that this foolishness took place there.)

Doctor Funkenstein: This little gem popped up on the first page on a GIS for "baptism." I just thought I'd share it with the rest of the class.

Hmmmmmmm....

Did Jesus clone himself or what?

On that note:
Isn't it illegal in most states to swim near a boat ramp? Do you have to stay 50' away so you don't get thrashed by a propeller?

Oh and on the 4th of July weekend, assholes.

mikaloyd: Atypical Person Reading Fark: This makes no sense. Separate things, each with its own function.

It seems that nothing short of denying religious people the right to live would make sense to you.

Hardly. But, I have no expectation that you'd understand my point (or several other points made here).

The fact that you can't look at the pictures posted and see that they had several other options - besides displaying themselves in an ungodly manner in front of would-be boaters - lies between us and I doubt we're going to get past that.

Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way."

- Romans 14:13

Just sayin', that's all. Your assumption that you are more religious than I am is a separate point, we can take that up another time.

Amish Animal Scientist: 3rdLostPassword: the pics in this link (pops) it looks like there is lots of room to do whatever you want away from the boat ramp.

So yeah, I'm gonna say the baptizers were being dicks.

agreed that they were being dicks, but that's the fishing pier, probably not allowed to swim there so they don't get hooks caught in people...

So they'd rather take a propellar to the head? I knew Christians weren't very smart, but damn.

Boourns75 2008-07-20 01:53:23 PM


"Uh... Peggy, I can see your whatnots."

What's the problem with holding true believers under water for an hour or two?

The important detail missing from this story was that the 40 people being baptized were wheelchair bound. Of course they needed the boat ramp.


I think there would have been much less of a problem if the minister had wheeled them into the water, launched them, and then pulled the chair back up the ramp and into the parking area with all the other trailers before continuing the ceremony.

If only there was some sort of magical healing power that could have cured the afflicted.

clancifer: Recoil Therapy:
Exactly. I can only imagine how pissed off I'd be, sitting there waiting for 40 farking people to do that baptisms. None of their members had a swimming pool in the backyard?

If only there were other places nearby that had water. Like 50 feet to either side of the ramp.

tonkin: "When we get to a day and time that a person can't respect another person's religious activity of baptizing, we're in trouble."

Hm I'd think we're in trouble when we get to a day and time where we have to tiptoe around so as not to upset a religious group that was using a public location for a religious service, monopolizing the location for an inordinate amount of time and blatantly disregarding its intended use.

I came here to quote and say THIS!