I'm glad to see guidos being disassociated with Jersey. Next, people will start to realize all those asshats on hcwdb.com hail from Cali or Florida.

/NJ born and raised
//no blowout
///no tan (Irish)
//don't drink heiny
/or yager bombs
//farkin skanks

DarjeelingWanderer: Imagine, if you will, the suck levels if one successfully combined the "Guido" with the "Juggalo". A Jugguido, if you will.

Yeah, I overdid the "if you will".

/Facepalm

Thank God!
I guess I'm going to Belmar from now on

DarjeelingWanderer: Imagine, if you will, the suck levels if one successfully combined the "Guido" with the "Juggalo". A Jugguido, if you will.

I don't scare easily...but that one made me shiver

allthingsfresh: Can someone tell me exactly what the fark a Guido is? I've never been to the northeast.

It's a type of bird - came over from Italy on tomato boats.

Wait, people self-identify as "guido"? Good grief.

emocomputerjock:

Glittered or unglittered?


Glittered because it stood out more in pictures.

DarjeelingWanderer: Imagine, if you will, the suck levels if one successfully combined the "Guido" with the "Juggalo". A Jugguido, if you will.

Yes, but how would you see the orange tan through the clown makeup?

FTA I may actually sell my house . . . if guidos aren't welcome in New Jersey."


For the love of God don't do that! Becuase if you do, then you will come to North Carolina and act like you are doing us a favor by being down here.

IsaacBoda: I made his myspace my home page so I can work on the fridge for the rest of his term.

Dammit I have to wait 6 more days till I can crap all over his forum.

/that's all I've got

PirateKing: DarjeelingWanderer: Imagine, if you will, the suck levels if one successfully combined the "Guido" with the "Juggalo". A Jugguido, if you will.

Yes, but how would you see the orange tan through the clown makeup?

Use man tan AS the clown makeup.

OR

Use the man tan to create the clown makeup effect with the tanning.

guido.. that is just the 2008 version of - oompa-loompa

/never been to SI
//never plan to go to SI
///In SoCal we laugh at Guido's and make them a biatch

cowsspinach: emocomputerjock:

Glittered or unglittered?


Glittered because it stood out more in pictures.

I can't stop laughing. My brother in law is a guido, and I can completely see him doing this.

/I need to KDvK him one day

ha-ha-guy: I fail.

What sound does an IROC with a flat tire make?

Deago wop wop wop?

This is why I promised myself that I'd never go north of LBI.

Guidos... start em young

this thread is missing wayyy to many guido kids with blown back hair and fake tanner.

TFA: His newsletter made various lame attempts at wit, including his opinion that "guidos" are "a kind of rare bird: They flock to our shore towns during the warm months, and are as welcome as, oh, Canada geese."

Are you kidding? Ten threads later and we still can't stop laughing. I wish all politicians were this witty.

allthingsfresh: Can someone tell me exactly what the fark a Guido is? I've never been to the northeast.
It was, originally, a slur against Italian immigrants and Italian-Americans.
Now, it's got something to do with a Willy Wonka fetish, but I might have my facts crooked.

El Chode: Theaetetus: Sebastian Mauro, 37, a self-described "guido"

If you're 37 and still calling yourself a guido, you're doing it wrong.

You kidding me? You'd be amazed at how many of them are still there. Go to seaside heights at night and they bring their guidoed kids to the boardwalk til 3 am.

I'll never forget the time my girlfriend and I saw one walking down the boardwalk at night with a white silk shirt on, unbuttoned, with his sunglasses on. There was no breeze, so he kept pushing his shirt back as he walked to make it look like it was flowing.

I don't get shocked, but that is just...I can't describe my reaction to that. That is so pathetic. If I saw that in real life I'd just be standing there gaping and staring, possibly after having burst out with an explosive incredulous laugh.

So is this guido thing from the Sopranos? My co-worker saw the guido thread yesterday and said they look like the Gotti boys. Is this gangster emulation? I have to confess, as gimmicky and laughable as this is, I prefer this to droopy pants prison chic.

El Chode man you are taking me back!

I grew up in Seaside and it's amazing to me that Guidos are still around down there. I haven't lived in NJ since '90, so...

/getting a kick out of this

IdBeCrazyIf: emocomputerjock: They still use that?

Was at a club with a bunch of guido wanna be's some months back and yes. It was if they had taken a bath in the stuff. Drank it over ice with vodka, and seasoned the meat they ate that night with it.

Did they rub themselves down with Preparation H to look "ripped". I heard that was their latest fad. I think I read it on FARK actually.

My Guido face, let me show you it:

nkanofolives: My Guido face, let me show you it:

You lack the necessary pumpkin hue.
/fail... but in a good way

Do you think the NYDN reporter had to go out of his way to find the mooks he quoted in TFA, who just reinforce the guido stereotype, or is everyone from Staten Island just that way?

Growing up in Narragansett, RI, we made fun of the "guidos" from Cranston, but jesus, they're amateurs compared to these clowns from SI and LI...

Githerax: I don't get shocked, but that is just...I can't describe my reaction to that. That is so pathetic. If I saw that in real life I'd just be standing there gaping and staring, possibly after having burst out with an explosive incredulous laugh.

So is this guido thing from the Sopranos? My co-worker saw the guido thread yesterday and said they look like the Gotti boys. Is this gangster emulation? I have to confess, as gimmicky and laughable as this is, I prefer this to droopy pants prison chic.

If anyone paid attention to the Sopranos they would laugh at Guidos for being like women. Gotti boys are just a symptom of Long Island. However, Guidettes match the women in the Sopranos perfectly.

My girlfriend and I go to the boardwalks for the sole purpose of watching Guidos interact with black people, and events like I just described. We get a giant slice of pizza, grab a bench, and just watch the posturing. Every so often some West Jersey white trash get involved in the fray and it adds an extra layer of awesome.

El Chode: BENNIES GO HOME

Bite me El Chode. Tomorrow I leave for the annual week in S.S. Park i have been going to for decades. I am Benny, hear me roar.

/ for the record I am not a guido and have had to deal with those assholes for all that time
// been thrown out of the chatterbox and the Wine Cellar (on my freeakin face!) for fighting with them. The only two fights of my life.

/// looking at buying a property right now with the market down, and as soon as I do, I will hate Bennies just as much as you do!

//// Sawmill pizza!!!

ha-ha-guy: I fail.

What sound does an IROC with a flat tire make?

I always wondered what IROC stood for. Based on drivers of cars with the IROC tag on it, I think it must be I Run Over Children.

emocomputerjock:

I can't stop laughing. My brother in law is a guido, and I can completely see him doing this.


Oh its Crazy. I had a guido in my class and the guy was a tool. I seriously believe after NJ, Oklahoma has to be one of the biggest guido population.

MayoBoy

Everytime I see that pic it makes me shudder.

allthingsfresh: Can someone tell me exactly what the fark a Guido is? I've never been to the northeast.

Guidos are mamals. They are native to the northeast and really haven't had much success spreading to other geographic locations. They are recognizable due to their orange complexion and dragon ball-z hair.

Their mating call is generally a loud string of vowels, like "Aye" or "Ayo". This can often be accompanied with a dance which consists of jumping up and down with their arms held above their heads.

In competition for mating rights, the ones with the more orange skin tone generally seem to win out.

They are violent, easily distracted, and prone to roid-rage, so it's advised that if you see one, approach with extreme caution. Better yet, don't approach at all.

It is highly doubtful that this species can last long as their sub-par intelligence makes it difficult for them to find any real use in the world. Coupled with the damage they due to their bodies (thus leading to a short lifespan) they may soon be extinct (god willing).

would NOT hit, evar

PeriRies: I had a bottle of that crap when I was 15. Granted, that was in 1988, but holy shiat I didn't think anybody still wore that crap.

LOL. A friend of mine had a bottle that broke under the passenger seat of his 1987 VW Fox. The car smelled like the 80's well into the 90's.

Slam Dunkz: I grew up in Seaside and it's amazing to me that Guidos are still around down there. I haven't lived in NJ since '90, so...

/getting a kick out of this

Sleazeside even has its own Guido-Only clubs now. Normal people tend to stick to Klees if we even go drinking there during the summer. The only safe haven is Used to Be's or your own back yard.

allthingsfresh: Can someone tell me exactly what the fark a Guido is? I've never been to the northeast.

You're not missing much...seriously.

And you know these dumbasses were at Bar A that night with their Red Bull and Vodka pumping their fists in the air. Whatever.

If Staten Island is really that much better than Belmar, then go the fark back and stay there.

/Bar A FTW?
//Going tonight!
///When do we start posting our guido pics?
////Not really a guido (guida?)

OOOOH YEAH!



/hotlinkity dawg

It is as if thousands of Bradley Beach residents cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced.

I am just having the best time keeping up with this story. Lived on the Shore my whole life, Belmar in particular for a year or so.

Originally from Ocean City NJ. We didn't get Guidos, we got Shobies. They are a whole different breed of dumb tourist.

Also, I know exactly what this year's halloween costume is going to be...