FARK.com: (3743949) Yale professor of physiology has scientifically proven that's impossible to get drunk on beer. Fark: Proved this in 1955

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		Yale professor of physiology has scientifically proven that's impossible to get drunk on beer. Fark: Proved this in 1955 (gawker.com)		119
		More: Unlikely

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18255 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 Jul 2008 at 8:51 AM | Favorite | share:

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ThatGuyGreg		2008-07-18 08:47:33 AM

I just get full way before I get drunk... beer is for meals, Jack is for drunk.

fireclown		2008-07-18 08:55:14 AM

Hm. SOunds like this prof wasn't around for the annual midsummer beer-and-fireworks pissup this year. Perhaps I could introduce him to my pal Dancin' Dave Burroughs.

/That's right stymie. And we gots video.

Lipspinach		2008-07-18 08:55:15 AM

Maybe he can tell that to all the cops who have thrown me in the drunk-tank

47 is the new 42		2008-07-18 08:55:29 AM

Sounds like he was a drunk that got fired for being drunk at work and he tried to use that excuse to keep his job.

The Icelander		2008-07-18 08:55:36 AM

"Honeshtly occifer! I wash only drinkin beer! I can't poshibly be drunk!"

FarkinHostile		2008-07-18 08:55:47 AM

Obviously, I am very susceptible to the placebo effect.

Johnny Savage		2008-07-18 08:56:02 AM

Beer is for breakfast around here. Drink or be gone.

/Coughlin's Law

Mr Guy		2008-07-18 08:56:11 AM

So he proved you can't get drunk with beer, for very large values of drunk and very small values of beer.

However, my wife (and several pairs of shoes near her), would beg to differ.

i'm driving my life away		2008-07-18 08:57:02 AM

i liek marijuanas.

globalwarmingpraiser		2008-07-18 08:57:14 AM

That is because he was drinking crappy american beer.

/am I doing it right.

This Is Bold Text		2008-07-18 08:57:15 AM

Someone should've given the guy a few bottles of barleywine.

Animatronik		2008-07-18 08:57:28 AM

So three quarts would have to be consumed in two or three hours, and this, he said, was "physiologically unnatural."

My girlfriend used to say I was unnatural, guess she was right.

TheGreyPiper		2008-07-18 08:57:52 AM

He's obviously never been to a band party with a bunch of pipers and drummers.

globalwarmingpraiser		2008-07-18 08:58:49 AM

Johnny Savage: Beer is for breakfast around here. Drink or be gone.

/Coughlin's Law

That guy was full of shiat.

/Best Tom Cruise movie either. About drinking and nailing rich hot chicks.

tennessee.hillbilly		2008-07-18 08:58:51 AM

I beg to differ with Dr. Yale.

I don't think my waking up standing in the shower with all the lights off was due to a sugar rush.

editorinquief		2008-07-18 08:59:01 AM

He's obviously never been to a Sigma Nu kegger.

Nestea Plunge		2008-07-18 08:59:23 AM

I like beer, it makes me jolly good fellow, it helps me unwind, and sometimes it makes me feel mellow.

The Lost Argonaut		2008-07-18 08:59:40 AM

...doing it wrong."

Fapper Dan		2008-07-18 09:00:01 AM

Or there's my friend Carl.
Officer: "Have you been drinking, son?"
Carl: "Irrelevant, officer. I'm tripping way too hard to be drunk."

/Didn't actually say it to a cop, but drew big laughs with the line anyway.
//As you can imagine.

Cyborg77		2008-07-18 09:00:05 AM

I'm conducting daily tests to dispute these findings but I'm not ready to draw any conclusions yet.

sh0x		2008-07-18 09:01:40 AM

He proved this using 3.7% alcohol beer! You know, the stuff you can only buy on Sundays at the gas station?

//Whaddaya mean it doesn't work that way in your state?

Raider_dad		2008-07-18 09:01:47 AM

I drank Panther Ice when I did drink , 7.5% alc. and cheap too.

/got the job done.

Quel		2008-07-18 09:01:51 AM

FTFA:THE AVERAGE alcohol content of American beers is 3.7 per cent by weight. In order for the alcohol blood level to be at 0.15 per cent, there would have to be two and one-half quarts of 3.7 beer in the stomach. But the capacity of the human stomach is one and one-half to two quarts.

Therefore, no one can drink enough beer at one time to get intoxicated, according to theory.

Doesn't that must mean that you can't get drunk off beer before breaking the seal?

C-J		2008-07-18 09:03:45 AM

3.5%? You Americans are getting screwed. Us Canadians can (legally) drink 2-3 years earlier, and the exchange rate is 1 Canadian beer = 1.43 American beers.

blackula		2008-07-18 09:04:58 AM

Now I'm no master of the English language...but shouldn't that read "that it is impossible to get drunk on beer." When I say it out loud it sounds like I'm drunk.

/i don't understand!

AlienZulu		2008-07-18 09:05:54 AM

you're doing it wrong

fireclown		2008-07-18 09:06:23 AM

C-J: 3.5%? You Americans are getting screwed. Us Canadians can (legally) drink 2-3 years earlier, and the exchange rate is 1 Canadian beer = 1.43 American beers.

Is that using the "double and add thirty" method of conversion?

/obscure?

Dynascape		2008-07-18 09:07:23 AM

This Is Bold Text: Someone should've given the guy a few bottles of barleywine.

Or a Tripel or Quadruppel.

You get used to drinking high ABV beer and everything else becomes water.

fireclown		2008-07-18 09:07:57 AM

The Lost Argonaut: ...doing it wrong."

www.hippopress.com

/doing it right

berylman		2008-07-18 09:08:09 AM

This BAC calculator is great. Link

I apparently had a BAC of .166 from drinking 3 Golden Monkey's in one hour last night. I think that qualifies as sort of drunk.

theflatline		2008-07-18 09:08:11 AM

Wow I go to work at 10:30 am. The tempation has been awoken

spacechicken170am		2008-07-18 09:08:46 AM

C-J: 3.5%? You Americans are getting screwed. Us Canadians can (legally) drink 2-3 years earlier, and the exchange rate is 1 Canadian beer = 1.43 American beers.

Hey, the foreigners bought all of our crappy rice beers. That exchange rate should be leveled out. Especially since you guys are as much responsible for Coors light now as we are. Seriously though, try to get drunk off of Coors light. It is a challenge.

Johnny Savage		2008-07-18 09:08:53 AM

We just drank the stuff in college. We never wrote papers about it.

I guess we were doing it wrong.

lovegravy		2008-07-18 09:10:38 AM

"The professor went on to say that driving SUVs cause the Earth to heat up."

Nemo's Brother		2008-07-18 09:11:01 AM

Ice House is an easy beer to get drunk to.

Magorn		2008-07-18 09:12:01 AM

Quel: FTFA:THE AVERAGE alcohol content of American beers is 3.7 per cent by weight. In order for the alcohol blood level to be at 0.15 per cent, there would have to be two and one-half quarts of 3.7 beer in the stomach. But the capacity of the human stomach is one and one-half to two quarts.

Therefore, no one can drink enough beer at one time to get intoxicated, according to theory.

Doesn't that must mean that you can't get drunk off beer before breaking the seal?

Here's the problem with his oh so cunning logice, Alcohol is absorbed into the bloodstream not confined to the stomach, So yeah, you are going to need to pee a few times, but you certainly can get drunk on it.

Arkanaut		2008-07-18 09:12:08 AM

Well, time to load up on the turpentine.

tatum		2008-07-18 09:12:09 AM

Heretic!

seljer		2008-07-18 09:12:16 AM

proper science(new window) begs to differ

Shakespeare's Monkey		2008-07-18 09:12:30 AM

Yup, torture the numbers and they'll confess to anything.

/I for one am completely happy he's full of scientific poop
//I likes me teh beer buzz

Wendy's Chili		2008-07-18 09:13:44 AM

Must have used Miller Lite for research.

Quel: FTFA:THE AVERAGE alcohol content of American beers is 3.7 per cent by weight. In order for the alcohol blood level to be at 0.15 per cent, there would have to be two and one-half quarts of 3.7 beer in the stomach. But the capacity of the human stomach is one and one-half to two quarts.

Therefore, no one can drink enough beer at one time to get intoxicated, according to theory.

Doesn't that must mean that you can't get drunk off beer before breaking the seal?

Basically. And 3.7 percent? Maybe he was using Mormon Lite.

psu4evr		2008-07-18 09:13:44 AM

Well, I always have contested that the .08 law is ludicrous.

Kar98		2008-07-18 09:13:52 AM

I'm drunksaz on bera righ now sm IM'm getting akikk, yuo know whwat am sane, bud, akcik, I looove you...

micah1701		2008-07-18 09:17:10 AM

waiting for Prince re-make:

"tonight we're gonna party like its 1955"

/what, no "back to the future" references?

globalwarmingpraiser		2008-07-18 09:17:34 AM

fireclown: The Lost Argonaut: ...doing it wrong."

/doing it right

We're not that drunk.

NightOwl2255		2008-07-18 09:17:47 AM

Kar98: I'm drunksaz on bera righ now sm IM'm getting akikk, yuo know whwat am sane, bud, akcik, I looove you...

Man up nancy! No one likes a sloppy drunk!

highwebl		2008-07-18 09:19:48 AM

Am I the only person annoyed by these commercials?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfVJ0CNVnMM (new window)

Kar98		2008-07-18 09:20:20 AM

NightOwl2255: Kar98: I'm drunksaz on bera righ now sm IM'm getting akikk, yuo know whwat am sane, bud, akcik, I looove you...

Man up nancy! No one likes a sloppy drunk!

*makes pass on NightOwl2255's wife, falls down, slithers under table and pukes in somebody's purse giggling to himself*

leland242		2008-07-18 09:21:09 AM

The biggest American beer company is Sam Adams. Thier Boston Lager is 4.9% abv. so FAIL?

or is he talking about that shiatty foreign beer in the red and white cans?