Nice.

Those are some classy fingernails, lady.

So... the bullet still went through your daughter's stomach first though. I guess that slowed it down a bit too.

shidekigonomo: So somebody played it a couple turns ago and the game ended in a draw?

/obscure... though given the power of Fark I doubt it will remain so for long

Hardly lasted a minute.

GIS:

Her daughter guided the bullet through her half digested lunch to save lives. Praise the lo'd!

The best the infinitely powerful deity could do was to have it hit a kid then a Bible?

Godfail.

Got-damn, now I want a Big Kahuna burger. That's that Hawaiian burger joint. I hear they got some tasty burgers. I ain't never had one myself.

Oh yeah, definitely proof of a God. Because, you know, there is no way this could have happened in the real world.

/God wanted the bullets flying
//God wanted to stop them
///Makes a whole lot of sense, don't you think???

She's got it all wrong, God used her daughters stomach to save that delicious watermelon.

"The word of God and the Lord's power saved. He sent the bullet into the watermelon."

Why are people so stupid? The idiot who shot the car as well as physics sent the bullet into the watermelon, not god.

Why wouldn't he have just, you know, stopped them before they entered the 10-year-old girl stomach? He's either getting old and slow, or he's kind of a dick.

Shvetz: So... the bullet still went through your daughter's stomach first though. I guess that slowed it down a bit too.

RTFA. Great-granddaughter.

nosehat: Oh yeah, definitely proof of a God. Because, you know, there is no way this could have happened in the real world.

/God wanted the bullets flying
//God wanted to stop them
///Makes a whole lot of sense, don't you think???


If believing God saved those girls helps the woman, who cares? She's not hurting anyone. I mean, other than perpetuating a stereotype about black people and watermelons.

/picker of nits
//Slightly disturbed by "More From MSNBC" links under article
///"Black and white twins from same mother
Saying buh-bye to Jupiter's Baby Red Spot"
\\had to look twice

Okay, it was a miracle. Can we go now?

themoonrulesnumber1: She's got it all wrong, God used her daughters stomach to save that delicious watermelon.

Now we're talkin. Win.

I'm not racist or anything, but anyone want to take a guess on the race?

I can't stop laughing LMFAO

"It went in here and come out here and it shredded my Sunday School book. The word of God slowed the bullet so that it didn't kill anybody."

A watermelon Jaelyn was holding in her lap eventually stopped the bullet.

"Right in the watermelon. Didn't come out of the watermelon," Thompson said. "The word of God and the Lord's power saved. He sent the bullet into the watermelon."


LOL good for them. also, the writer's last name is LONGNECKER

/aisle seat

The watermelon accomplished what god could not.

"Came through the door, hit her, then it went to the Bible," she said.

That God fellow sure is aiming low with miracles these days, huh?

I guess they were lucky they chose Watermelon over Beans & Cornbread that day.

IsitAndDestroy: The watermelon accomplished what god could not.

Being tasty?

Typical religious crap, focusing on only the good part of the story while ignoring the bad. So god hates that first kid?

"It took away her innocence," she said of Shyann. "You know, she trusted everybody. Now she trusts nothing and nobody."

To be fair she was molested by a clown earlier in the day so it is hard to tell which event really did it.

Now I want watermelon.

Let's get this started.

You know, this all makes perfect sense if you just think about it with a little perspective. The daughter is obviously a dirty sinner, and God was simply smiting her for her blasphemous activities.

Think she'll let that Bible out of her sites after a warning like that? I think not.

Did he send the bullet too?

ninjakirby: You know, this all makes perfect sense if you just think about it with a little perspective. The daughter is obviously a dirty sinner, and God was simply smiting her for her blasphemous activities.

Think she'll let that Bible out of her sites after a warning like that? I think not.

How will the Bible do her any good? Didn't it get shot up?

Monkeypillow: How will the Bible do her any good? Didn't it get shot up?

No more than she did.

/Approves

Okay, I'll bite...


Names, Bible and Watermelon indicate they are black.

They sure do love them some Jesus and Watermelon.

To go four for four they would have had to have been in Oldsmobile.

I'm laughing so hard at the idea of this little girl crying because she got shot, and her great grandmother praising the lord because the bible saved the watermelon. Nevermind that the kid got farking SHOT IN THE STOMACH, at least the watermelon is okay. Holy shiat thats funny.

/Window seat please

I think God did a great job this time. Never mind that kid bleeding like a pig. What doesn´t kill you, makes you harder. Besides, trust is overrated in this day in age.

We know Bibles can stop bullets, but has a Bible ever stopped a watermelon?

okay so "God" saves great great grama from a bullet with a bible, "God" saves the girl from a bullet with a watermelon...but, the ten year old boy has neither a bible or watermelon and gets shot in the stomach?

you know, if great granma had been taking them all to a book club and they all had hardcovers of "a tale of two cities", they would all have been saved.

/stupid christians
//its good = "God"
/// its not good = no mention of "God"

Man... I'd love to hear this woman explaining to her great-granddaughter why God could protect everyone else in the car but her from the bullet.

I have always wondered about divine intervention and stuff like that, for example if your country is hit by hurricanes, famine or floods, doesn't that mean that god doesn't really like you...?

Never understood why a lot of muslims are so irate about the west, I mean apparently their god likes us more than them...

Emily Longnecker

Luthiel: Man... I'd love to hear this woman explaining to her great-granddaughter why God could protect everyone else in the car but her from the bullet.

You're a heathen and God was punishing you.

southaustin: Shvetz: So... the bullet still went through your daughter's stomach first though. I guess that slowed it down a bit too.

RTFA. Great-granddaughter.

nosehat: Oh yeah, definitely proof of a God. Because, you know, there is no way this could have happened in the real world.

/God wanted the bullets flying
//God wanted to stop them
///Makes a whole lot of sense, don't you think???


If believing God saved those girls helps the woman, who cares? She's not hurting anyone. I mean, other than perpetuating a stereotype about black people and watermelons.

/picker of nits
//Slightly disturbed by "More From MSNBC" links under article
///"Black and white twins from same mother
Saying buh-bye to Jupiter's Baby Red Spot"
\\had to look twice

Sorry, but believing in god is hurting society and mankind, the sooner people let go of fantasy the sooner we can focus on reality, you know truth and stuff. Individualy it may not hurt, but on any scale above 1, it is dangerous, misleading and outright lies. I don't know about you but I rather not promote lies as truth or even give time to idiots who peddle that crap.

"Came through the door, hit her, then it went to the Bible," she said. The Bible was sitting on the seat between the two girls. "It went in here and come out here and it shredded my Sunday School book."

Depending on how much religious material you have with you, your chances go up that it will one day stop a bullet for you.

The root of the problem is the bullet didn't believe in God.

*yawn*

Kid: Yey I'm still alive after that bullet thing!

Lady: You have to thank god that nobody died, look at us, we didn't get hurt at all!

Kid: So did God prevent the bullet from hurting you?

Lady: Of course He did.

Kid: And God didn't stop the bullet from hitting me?

Lady: Uhm... oh yeah, God works in mysterious ways!

Kid: But if he loves me too why did...

Lady: Shut your mouth and eat your god damn watermelon will you!

Kid: WAAAAH!

They would all have been saved if they had a Popemobile...

Why didn't God just make the bullets disappear or the guns jam?


Also,if these random "miracles" are proof of his intervention--
99.99% of the rest of the time he sure is a malicious motherf*cker.

I just love the way God chooses to reveal himself.

God will sometimes make a cancer go into remission or a tumor disappear but he NEVER heals amputees or 3rd degree burns.

The watermelon died for our sins.

she should be pissed god let those bullets in her car, not thanking him for letting the girl get shot. god is a lame coping skill. i saw a billboard once that said "can't cope? try jesus"