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(Trentonian)   Okay, which one of you Farkers is writing headlines for the Trentonian?   (trentonian.com) divider line 113
    More: Amusing  
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33632 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 Jul 2008 at 11:45 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-07-17 09:19:34 AM
By far, one of the most Fark-like headlines I've seen in MSM in quite some time.

Bravo, Sulaiman Abdur-Rahman, Staff Writer for the Trentonian. Bravo.
 
2008-07-17 09:26:10 AM
Not me. They don't pay me enough, and that bridge they have is creepy.
 
2008-07-17 09:39:52 AM
Sulaiman Abdur-Rahman - you magnificent bastard!
 
2008-07-17 10:17:35 AM
I'm surprised the editor has a sense of humor.
 
2008-07-17 10:25:01 AM
+1

/Dollar Menu
 
2008-07-17 10:25:48 AM
Nice to see that THE TRENTONIAN is still the same good-natured
rag it was back when I still lived in NJ.

Seriously, for those who don't know: its the closest thing I've
ever seen in the US to a Fleet Street/Daily Sun rag paper, even
down to the topheavy (but alas, not topless) women the have on
their Page 6. This headline is about par for the course for them.
 
2008-07-17 10:29:36 AM
Sorry to piss on his parade, but he made a Burger King reference in a headline where he went for the McDonalds slant.

A for Effort
C+ for Execution
 
2008-07-17 10:31:59 AM
Sulaiman seems unduly concerned with who graduated which High School and when.

The McMansions in Mercer County, NJ have all the charm of a row of ice cube trays in a barren field -with decorative high tension wires and rapidly falling values.
 
2008-07-17 10:35:57 AM
The Onanist: Sulaiman Abdur-Rahman - you magnificent bastard!

I wonder what his Fark handle is...

Now I'm hungry for a burger. Damn it!
 
2008-07-17 11:03:24 AM
Plus one Trentonite!
 
2008-07-17 11:35:19 AM
Da da da da daaaa, I'm burning it!
 
2008-07-17 11:48:46 AM
Man, I wish I could say it was me!

/prefer the Whopper to the Big Mac.
 
2008-07-17 11:49:39 AM
Sulaiman Abdur-Rahman is my alt.
 
2008-07-17 11:50:15 AM
DjangoStonereaver: Nice to see that THE TRENTONIAN is still the same good-natured rag it was back when I still lived in NJ.

I was gonna tell someone to get a screen-cap of the headline, because the editor will probably change it, but maybe not.
 
2008-07-17 11:50:33 AM

Witnesses said they heard the fire erupted in the garage when the household's owner was tinkering with a motorcycle or some sort of appliance.


"It could have been a fish, or an almanac, or a cave - we're really not sure."
 
2008-07-17 11:51:22 AM
Worked for a small weekly paper years ago. A hog barn burned down killing some pigs.
My headline:

Fire claims 60 lives

I don't think anyone was amused.
 
2008-07-17 11:51:59 AM
FTA: Witnesses said nearly two dozen fire engines arrived to douse the flames.

That's quite the McFlurry!
 
2008-07-17 11:52:00 AM
ElPresidente: Sorry to piss on his parade, but he made a Burger King reference in a headline where he went for the McDonalds slant.

A for Effort
C+ for Execution


img66.imageshack.us
It moves .. clickety pickety
 
2008-07-17 11:52:33 AM
"Yes, I'd like the insurance fraud value meal, super-sized with sub-prime mortgage failure fries and a large arson shake to go, please."
 
2008-07-17 11:52:36 AM
!There was a general error!

That headline you mean?
 
2008-07-17 11:53:23 AM
+1 would read again.

bonus +1 for a McMansion burning down.
 
2008-07-17 11:53:57 AM
ok, what was it? They've taken it off...
 
2008-07-17 11:54:09 AM
ga362: Worked for a small weekly paper years ago. A hog barn burned down killing some pigs.
My headline:

Fire claims 60 lives

I don't think anyone was amused.


mmm, bacon
 
2008-07-17 11:54:30 AM
A++++ WOULD READ AGAIN!

/SuperSize, please
//and a DIET coke!
///Chicken Sandwhich and some waffle fries... FOR FREE!
 
2008-07-17 11:55:06 AM
Marcus Aurelius: Not me. They don't pay me enough, and that bridge they have is creepy.

Which one? The Trenton Makes? (BTW WTF is that saying supposed to mean?)

m.j.freeman.home.att.net

or the Cahloon Street bridge?

www.richmangalleries.com

(both hotlinked for your viewing pleasure)
 
2008-07-17 11:55:46 AM
Headline: McMansion Flame-broiled; 2 cars fried; shakes up neighborhood
 
2008-07-17 11:56:41 AM
Wow.
 
2008-07-17 11:56:50 AM
mrwhippy: WTF is that saying supposed to mean?

Trenton is a top, the world is its bottom.
 
2008-07-17 11:57:13 AM
Goodness is still there if you can click on the Other News Here:

Link (new window)
 
2008-07-17 11:57:41 AM
Where are the Page 6 calendar girl pics.

/what fire?
 
2008-07-17 11:57:45 AM
Jness: ///Chicken Sandwhich and some waffle fries... FOR FREE!

Funny up to the last slashy, Jness. That slashy was just unforgivable
 
2008-07-17 11:58:17 AM
If you get the error, the article is:

McMansion flame-broiled; 2 cars fried; shakes up neighborhood

WEST WINDSOR - A two-alarm fire last night raced through a township McMansion on the corner of Restrick Court and Zaitz Farm Road near Old Trenton Road, gutting the upscale residence long before firefighters arrived to attack the blaze, according to witnesses who described the house as one of the enclave's biggest and most posh properties.
"The whole thing was engulfed in 15 minutes," said Ed Wiston, who lives near the Brookline Estates community, where last night's blaze also destroyed two vehicles on the property. "It took (fire companies) forever to get here. It was amazing to see how quickly it went up in flames. It was like a camp fire."
The Red Cross last night said the family declined assistance but found shelter.
Township police released no details of the fire, but a woman who said she lives there told The Trentonian no one was hurt in the inferno. She wouldn't say more, but her friends said she is a 20-year-old who graduated from West Windsor-Plainsboro High South in 2006.
"She ran out the house screaming that her father was in the house," said a witness standing on Zaitz Farm Road near the wrecked household. "The father came out a little confused. Windows were popping, and people were screaming."
People at the scene said three or four people lived in the house. "We've known her since middle school. We used to go there all the time to party," said Mike Vignapiano, a friend of the 20-year-old WW-P South alum who lived at the house. "It's a lot of memories there. That's what hurts the most. They're a really nice family."
The fire erupted about 7 o'clock last night, with fire engines still on the scene after 10 p.m.
Witnesses said they heard the fire erupted in the garage when the household's owner was tinkering with a motorcycle or some sort of appliance.
Witnesses said faulty wiring sparked the blaze, which emitted smoke so thick and heavy that motorists could see it from Plainsboro.
"We saw the smoke coming from Route 571 (Princeton-Hightstown Road)," said Giovanni Alexander, who graduated from WW-P South with the 20-year-old woman who lived in the flame-broiled township home. "I just saw it and heard about it, so I came over to to give my support."
Witnesses said nearly two dozen fire engines arrived to douse the flames.
 
2008-07-17 11:58:26 AM
that does look like a fark headline.

What is the journalist's fark name?
 
2008-07-17 11:58:38 AM
farked
 
2008-07-17 11:59:50 AM
Best thing I've read all day.

Kudos
 
2008-07-17 12:00:54 PM
Jness: Headline: McMansion Flame-broiled; 2 cars fried; shakes up neighborhood

Follow up - Ding, cars are done?
 
2008-07-17 12:02:20 PM
Ok, I started looking at other headlines and...WTF?


Megan's mom fights privatization of sex offender centers

Zero Tolerance hauls in crack and ganja and cash


And those are just a couple of the Train-wreck headlines. Going through that list is like going through the red-light district of Fark.
 
2008-07-17 12:05:48 PM
Heamer is my alt.
 
2008-07-17 12:06:36 PM
Witnesses said they heard the fire erupted in the garage when the household's owner was tinkering with a motorcycle or some sort of appliance.
Witnesses said faulty wiring sparked the blaze, which emitted smoke so thick and heavy that motorists could see it from Plainsboro.


Some of these "witnesses" are probably wrong.
 
2008-07-17 12:09:41 PM
Dr. Flavenglaven: "Yes, I'd like the insurance fraud value meal, super-sized with sub-prime mortgage failure fries and a large arson shake to go, please."

The local police should probably grill the homeowner to get to the truth of the matter. The house may be charcoal but there is sure to be some evidence that will toast his buns.
 
2008-07-17 12:11:59 PM
I think his name is Mickey D.
 
2008-07-17 12:18:56 PM
I stopped reading at "McMansion". I prefer to form my own opinions about people's homes; I like my news to be facts.
 
2008-07-17 12:20:44 PM
What a farking rag that paper is. There are two local Trenton papers. The Trenton Times, and The Trentonian. The Trentonian outsells the Times by like 5 to 1 or something.

The writing in the paper is literally at a 2nd grade level.

You can immediately judge the intelligence of someone in the store by what paper the are buying. If they are buying the Trentonian, they are usually idiots.
 
2008-07-17 12:23:44 PM
mrwhippy: The Trenton Makes? (BTW WTF is that saying supposed to mean?)

It means that Trenton is an Objectivist town. Sadly, their "Trenton Shrugs" moment has not yet achieved the desired effect.
 
2008-07-17 12:26:23 PM
ArcadianRefugee: I stopped reading at "McMansion". I prefer to form my own opinions about people's homes; I like my news to be facts.

It's not news, it's Fark.
 
2008-07-17 12:30:43 PM
I am rather intrigued by the Trentonian and shall be inquiring re: subscriptions.
 
2008-07-17 12:30:52 PM
Yeah, the Trentonian is a total rag, but an amusing read. I wonder if my wife saw the smoking ruins on the way to work this morning.

/According to a friend of mine, the bridge should say "Trenton shiats, the world eats".
//McMansions are the bane of NJ. One down, thousands to go.
 
2008-07-17 12:32:23 PM
Trenton Uses : The World Refuses


/eggsellent headline
 
2008-07-17 12:33:57 PM
Classic!!
 
2008-07-17 12:38:31 PM
Having worked as a page designer and copy editor I will say this - headline writing is one of the toughest gigs out there. This man should be given a medal.
 
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