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(Now Magazine) Video Forget Speed Racer, The Love Guru or Meet Dave. The worst movie of the summer is coming. High School Musical 3 trailer hits the web   (nowmagazine.co.uk) divider line 83
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1709 clicks; posted to Video » on 14 Jul 2008 at 5:57 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-07-14 06:00:47 PM  
*hangs self*
 
2008-07-14 06:01:32 PM  
Paging the 'Obvious Tag' to the Showbiz tab.
 
2008-07-14 06:02:20 PM  
At least the Olsen twins aren't acting anymore.
 
2008-07-14 06:02:42 PM  
I had the (mis)fortune to actually watch a bit of the 2nd one at a friend's house. Her daughter loves it. I couldn't help but wonder how they could actually do those music routines w/o laughing their asses off. They're really quite ridiculous.
 
2008-07-14 06:03:13 PM  
and it will probably make more money than all three combined.
 
2008-07-14 06:05:26 PM  
I didn't know that there was ever a High School Musical "1" or "2". I am thinking that is a good thing.
 
2008-07-14 06:06:02 PM  
Vanessa Hudgins is only capable of one facial expression, and that's, "FARK ME!! FARK ME HARD!!!"

Christ I wanna fark her.
 
2008-07-14 06:06:50 PM  
I saw a poster for this while walking out of Hellboy 2 the other day.

My head almost exploded from the stupidity of the studio for greenlighting such garbage.

Maybe the studio execs moonlight as Fark admins.
 
2008-07-14 06:08:09 PM  
Subby obviously missed the thread when this piece of fried gold hit the web.
 
2008-07-14 06:08:33 PM  
I dunno. You have to judge movies on whether or not they do what they set out to do, keeping the target audience in mind.

I didn't see Speed Racer but based on the trailers it looked like it had a lot of fast cars, a shiatload of pretty CGI, Christina Ricci and a monkey. I'd say in that context the movie did what it set out to do. I mean come on, Christina Ricci and a monkey. I'm not even going to watch the trailer to High School Musical 3 but I'm assuming it will acomplish the same thing for an audience different from me.

Now the Love Guru, which I have also not seen but based on the trailers and reviews, THAT looks like the worst movie so far this year.

/even liked Journey to the Center of the Earth
//could have used a monkey
///and Christina Ricci
////pre-breast reduction
 
2008-07-14 06:08:42 PM  
Mother's Bloody Sperm: Vanessa Hudgins is only capable of one facial expression, and that's, "FARK ME!! FARK ME HARD!!!"

Christ I wanna fark her.


You should have your penis confiscated.
 
2008-07-14 06:08:47 PM  
Wrong. Disaster Movie is coming out at the end of August.
 
2008-07-14 06:09:34 PM  
OMG!OMG!OMG!

Will the Jonas Brothers be in this one!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
 
2008-07-14 06:12:13 PM  
ClicheGuevara07: Subby obviously missed the thread when this piece of fried gold hit the web.

You know, I saw that trailer a couple weeks ago. In the right hands, it could be an amazing concept. Too bad they have to ruin it by making it a kids' movie. I like the idea of immortal chihuahuas infiltrating SoCal the advance party for an invasion.

/no, I don't watch Lou Dobbs
 
2008-07-14 06:16:08 PM  
ClicheGuevara07: You know, I saw that trailer a couple weeks ago. In the right hands, it could be an amazing concept. Too bad they have to ruin it by making it a kids' movie. I like the idea of immortal chihuahuas infiltrating SoCal the advance party for an invasion.

What concerns me of this movie is how it will affect popular trends. Just like the live action 101 Dalmatians movie and Snow Dogs, families will buy this little guys like hotcakes, only to likely give them up when they learn that they aren't the sweet cute doggies they were displayed as in the movie.
 
2008-07-14 06:16:38 PM  
How did that Adam Sadler movie do? That looked like the worst piece of shiat ever.
 
2008-07-14 06:16:53 PM  
The vast majority of fark is not in the target demographic for High School Musical movies.
 
2008-07-14 06:18:08 PM  
Tofino
The vast majority of fark is not in the target demographic for High School Musical movies.

wow, you just typed a nearly identical comment to the one that i was about to type.
 
2008-07-14 06:19:18 PM  
Speed Racer was actually not bad, IMO.

/haven't seen the other two ... won't see HSM, either
 
2008-07-14 06:20:38 PM  
Tofino: The vast majority of fark is not in the target demographic for High School Musical movies.

I think the target demographic is not even high school students, but more likely 8-14 year old girls.
 
2008-07-14 06:21:34 PM  
That Zac Efron is a man's man.
 
2008-07-14 06:22:42 PM  
Tofino: The vast majority of fark is not in the target demographic for High School Musical movies.

This much is true but that doesnt mean I wont watch it. I am a pretty big loser but after some beers and a joint Im sure it will provide some laughs.
 
2008-07-14 06:28:49 PM  
Farkin' Christ. I have to sit through ANOTHER farkin' High School Musical?!?

/being a parent sucks sometimes
//okay, more than sometimes
///yeah, I know it's my own damned fault
 
2008-07-14 06:29:44 PM  
The High School Musical movies are a homage to the musicals of the 40s, 50s, and 60s.

/The kids love them
//The music is better than hip-hop
///Disney can still DIAF for all I care
 
2008-07-14 06:32:12 PM  
Worst movie? Eh, I won't watch most movies that look that bad, since my tastes seem to keep me away from them. Can't say which is worse, Love Guru, Meet Dave, Speed Racer, Young People Farking, Atonement or Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. None of those have any interest to me, regardless of whether they're "good" or "Bad" movies.

However, since I do go see movies, I do happen to see a number of trailers, and the worst trailer I've seen in decades is "Death Race".

From the trailer, I know this about the movie. It is about prison inmates who are armed with heavy weapons and cars, who compete in a literal death race; survive and win, and you get your freedom. Or die. Each male prisoner is paired up with a female prisoner who was arrested for not starring in enough Lesbian Prison Orgy videos and who acts as the "navigator", which might indicate that the track is something other than a mile-long oval where you make left turns all day long. The race is broadcast on TV, and is run, overall, by the female warden of the prison/producer of the show. The main character is a former professional driver of a NASCAR level who was convicted of murdering his wife. As expected, this main character is innocent of the crime. Not because he tells us he is (which he does), but because the right hand man of the producer/warder tells us "they" killed his wife. And now they have to kill him by strapping a bomb to the underside of his car.

The movie was going to be B-level at best. It's a stupid action flick that is more about boobies and exploding cars and violence than plot or writing. But jeez... either it's the best idea ever for a trailer, and it's saying "Here's the important parts of the movie plot for you now, so when you come see it, you can concentrate on watching the action." or it's the most mind numbingly stupid trailer of the new century.

/doesn't plan on seeing in on the big screen anyway, but likely will catch it on a $6.99 bargain Best Buy sale.
 
2008-07-14 06:32:17 PM  
I had a flight to Hawaii and HSM was the movie...I couldn't figure out what was worse- the plane crashing or movie....its not bad without sound
 
2008-07-14 06:32:32 PM  
mistersnark
Farkin' Christ. I have to sit through ANOTHER farkin' High School Musical?!?

/being a parent sucks sometimes
//okay, more than sometimes
///yeah, I know it's my own damned fault


i didn't realize being a good parent stipulates watching the same TV programming as your kids, or even necessarily includes the involvement of a TV whatsoever.
 
2008-07-14 06:34:20 PM  
Tofino: The vast majority of fark is not in the target demographic for High School Musical movies.

And there it is. Every once and a while I'll be flipping through the channels and catch a few minutes of some Disney or Nickelodean sitcom. There's a laugh track, so it's obviously supposed to be funny, but I just don't get it.

At the same time, I realize that someone is obviously enjoying these shows, or they wouldn't continue to be produced.

What's truly remarkable about High School Musical 3 is that a sequel to a direct-to-cable/DVD movie is getting a theatrical release. Not counting TV shows that have gotten movies (X-Files, Star Trek, etc.), I can't remember this ever happening before. It's ususally the other way around.

So while I'm not particularly familiar with the High School Movie series, its popularity forces me to conclude that it has some merrit. Otherwise, I'd have no other choice than to accept that the people who are going to be running my nursing home some day are completely retarded. And I'm not ready to do that just yet.
 
2008-07-14 06:35:20 PM  
Meh, I saw Speed Racer. It was ok, was expecting it to be a lot worse.
 
2008-07-14 06:38:31 PM  
Mugato: I dunno. You have to judge movies on whether or not they do what they set out to do, keeping the target audience in mind.

I came in to post exactly this, but not so eloquently. The HSM movies may be trite, but they are executed well and are entertaining to their demographic. We have and will continue to be plagued with far worse movies.

/parent
//did I just defend HSM on the interwebs?
 
2008-07-14 06:39:58 PM  
Techhell: The movie was going to be B-level at best. It's a stupid action flick that is more about boobies and exploding cars and violence than plot or writing.

Sounds like a perfect summer film.
 
2008-07-14 06:41:54 PM  
64.13.133.31
images.nachofoto.com
www.collegecandy.com

I would hit it until her vag fell off.
 
2008-07-14 06:42:37 PM  
Tell you what, Subby. Try signing up for this year's webcast of Meistersinger from Bayreuth (yes, that Bayreuth). I guarantee that it's going to be the worst video of the summer.

There's a trailer, too (new window)

I saw it last year. Katharina must hate her family an awful lot...
 
2008-07-14 06:46:13 PM  
noazark: Speed Racer was actually not bad, IMO.

Agreed, except for the idiot kid who played Spritle. He single-handedly managed to ruin almost every scene he was in by being painfully unfunny. I don't think I heard anyone in the (mostly full) theater I saw the movie in laugh at him once.

If there was a "Phantom Edit" style cut of the movie where his screen time was reduced as much as possible, the movie would've been much better. It'd be an easy edit to do, too, since most of his scenes didn't have any connection to the plot, or anything else that happened in the movie.
 
2008-07-14 06:47:24 PM  
While HSM may be the most unbearable of the lot, it will probably make more money than the other three combined.

The way I felt after seeing Speed Racer in the theater? The only thing I have to compare it to was how I felt after seeing the first Star Wars movie in the theater. Blown away. For me, it was perfect. Glad to see it's cleared $85M with international. Hopefully it does well enough with merchandising and DVD sales to warrant a sequel, although I won't hold my breath.
 
2008-07-14 06:49:57 PM  
ClicheGuevara07: Subby obviously missed the thread when this piece of fried gold hit the web.

I saw an ad for that when I took my girlfriend to see WALL-E. I turned to her when it ended and said "that looks like the worst goddamned movie ever made." I have a loud voice though, so the entire back of the theatre started laughing.
 
2008-07-14 06:53:17 PM  
Techhell: Worst movie? Eh, I won't watch most movies that look that bad, since my tastes seem to keep me away from them. Can't say which is worse, Love Guru, Meet Dave, Speed Racer, Young People Farking, Atonement or Kit Kittredge: An American Girl. None of those have any interest to me, regardless of whether they're "good" or "Bad" movies.

However, since I do go see movies, I do happen to see a number of trailers, and the worst trailer I've seen in decades is "Death Race".

From the trailer, I know this about the movie. It is about prison inmates who are armed with heavy weapons and cars, who compete in a literal death race; survive and win, and you get your freedom. Or die. Each male prisoner is paired up with a female prisoner who was arrested for not starring in enough Lesbian Prison Orgy videos and who acts as the "navigator", which might indicate that the track is something other than a mile-long oval where you make left turns all day long. The race is broadcast on TV, and is run, overall, by the female warden of the prison/producer of the show. The main character is a former professional driver of a NASCAR level who was convicted of murdering his wife. As expected, this main character is innocent of the crime. Not because he tells us he is (which he does), but because the right hand man of the producer/warder tells us "they" killed his wife. And now they have to kill him by strapping a bomb to the underside of his car.

The movie was going to be B-level at best. It's a stupid action flick that is more about boobies and exploding cars and violence than plot or writing. But jeez... either it's the best idea ever for a trailer, and it's saying "Here's the important parts of the movie plot for you now, so when you come see it, you can concentrate on watching the action." or it's the most mind numbingly stupid trailer of the new century.

/doesn't plan on seeing in on the big screen anyway, but likely will catch it on a $6.99 bargain Best Buy sale.


It's a remake, actually, of an amazing movie called Death Race 2000 with Sylvester Stallone and David Carradine. The original is really weird and really awesome, and is the source of people joking about getting points for hitting different kinds of pedestrians. Sadly, I bet the hitting people for points aspect will be removed from this one and it'll just be a standard whizz-bang Jason Statham movie, which can be fun, but is nowhere near the pure, unfiltered awesome of the original.
 
2008-07-14 06:53:37 PM  
Why are you homos not talking about how hot Vanessa Hudgins is?!!
 
2008-07-14 06:57:07 PM  
Mother's Bloody Sperm: Why are you homos not talking about how hot Vanessa Hudgins is?!!

I would like to insert my penis into her vagina and plant my seed in her belly.

or on it. whatever.
 
2008-07-14 06:57:32 PM  
I actually liked SPEED RACER a lot, and thought LOVE GURU was pretty funny. I actually went to see them and formed my own opinions rather than just jump on the ol' Mike Myers/Wackowski Bros.-backlash bandwagons.
On the other hand, I thought INDY 4 was just awful.
 
2008-07-14 06:59:00 PM  
Toonz, I would simply wreck her. That's all I can say. Imagine injecting some crazy mix of cocaine and Viagra directly into a dog bloodstream, then letting loose in a furniture store. I would WRECK THE FARKING SHIAT OUT OF HER.
 
2008-07-14 06:59:28 PM  
Waiting for

"Frank Miller's High School Musical 4: Graduation"
 
2008-07-14 07:03:31 PM  
ClicheGuevara07: Subby obviously missed the thread when this piece of fried gold hit the web.

I'm really starting to think Walt Disney would go postal if he were still alive.
 
2008-07-14 07:12:37 PM  
Speed Racer was actually surprisingly fun. It's definitely a unique movie meant to entertain and try a new style than to take itself seriously.

/And I dislike most movies I've seen recently.
 
2008-07-14 07:12:44 PM  
The only thing truly bad about Speed Racer was the marketing.

It coulda used a little trimming here and there, but in all it was a very enjoyable film.
 
2008-07-14 07:26:23 PM  
HSM looks no better or worse than any of the musical movies I liked as a kid, including (most notably) Grease. It looks well-produced and is probably entertaining if you're a kid.

/don't hate, appreciate
 
2008-07-14 07:27:05 PM  
NaugahydeDonkey: The way I felt after seeing Speed Racer in the theater? The only thing I have to compare it to was how I felt after seeing the first Star Wars movie in the theater.

Blaspheme!
 
2008-07-14 07:30:17 PM  
Will anybody else besides Vanessa Hudgins be naked?
 
2008-07-14 07:31:13 PM  
"Meet Dave" wasn't that bad (not really, but not horrendous). Neither was "High School Musical" (at least the first one).
 
2008-07-14 07:32:50 PM  
I can haz Ashley Tisdale?
 
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