FARK.com: (373213) How does one get the most out of their money at a strip club? (Voting Enabled)

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(Some Horney Guy)		How does one get the most out of their money at a strip club? (Voting Enabled) (fuch.com)		199
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8327 clicks; posted to Main » on 06 Dec 2002 at 3:34 PM | Favorite | share:

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Flignir		2002-12-06 09:18:44 AM

Nudge, nudge...

Awldun		2002-12-06 09:23:35 AM

date a dancer

FishBulb		2002-12-06 10:32:23 AM

Stay home, rent porno.

Guy Incognito		2002-12-06 12:35:41 PM

by going when it's closed, putting a $100 bill in an envelope and sliding it under the door.

vetbridge		2002-12-06 12:47:46 PM

I put a 20 in my jeans and tell the dancer to get it with her cervix. Works nine times out of ten for me.

naudio		2002-12-06 12:49:06 PM

You can't. I dropped a grand one night (drunk and honey) and the biatch was supposed to come to my hotel room. I think I finally passed out thinking of kittens.

Haven't been back since...

numberz		2002-12-06 12:53:00 PM

Go to the bank, withdraw $500 in crisp $20 bills.

Walk to the banks restroom.

Flush the money, then jack off.

If you feel good about doing that, you are ready to go hit the strip clubs...

A vote for me is a vote for modern banking convenience!

Flibbertigibbet		2002-12-06 01:37:41 PM

By not drinking! Yowza it's expensive.

Sudie		2002-12-06 01:52:36 PM

Amsterdam: 50 guilders and the girl in the window is all yours.

Lofwyr		2002-12-06 01:54:36 PM

By not spending any.

Sudie		2002-12-06 02:09:59 PM

Take your wife or girlfriend, buy her a lap dance, sit back and enjoy. ;)

b0rg9		2002-12-06 02:31:01 PM

Tuck ten bucks in the fat girl's g-string, except use a roll of quarters.

Weaps		2002-12-06 03:09:14 PM

Drive to Vegas from L.A. to break in your new motorcycle. Go to strip club even though you're only 20 but manage to slip past mathematically challenged bouncer. Pay lots of attention to cute stripper whose stage name is "Ruby Tuesday" and give her lots of dollar bills. Drink beer. Have her sit next to you after her act and talk to you. Find out her real name is Robin. End up with napkin with her number in L.A. and an invitation to go with her to another club after her shift is over. Bouncer in after-hours club not as mathematically challenged as last bouncer. Get denied entry. Go home.

Ten years later read in the Los Angeles Times about same stripper who is being sentenced to prison for internet stalking of a Las Vegas newspaper columnist whose marraige she ruined by posting explicit photos of her and him in every sort of sexual position imaginable. Including bondage, discipline, oral, anal, toys, everything. Learn that this biatch is one psycho.

True story.

LordWatson		2002-12-06 03:37:07 PM

Banging a stripper in the john.

bass555		2002-12-06 03:39:21 PM

by going as a guest of another (bithday, bachelor party, funeral, your choice)

tinrobot		2002-12-06 03:39:33 PM

Easy.

Become a dancer.

Kylie		2002-12-06 03:39:55 PM

Guy Incognito Heehee..that was funny!

MayoBoy		2002-12-06 03:39:58 PM

Stock up on 2 dollar bills. They mistake them for 20's.

I_Can't_Believe_It's_Not_Smegma		2002-12-06 03:40:12 PM

Make some color copies of $20.00 bills on good paper stock. Mess them up a bit so they look used. They never look that hard at the money.

MilkIt		2002-12-06 03:40:36 PM

Don't go

hugemoviesguy		2002-12-06 03:40:44 PM

shake your ass right in front of the rich-looking customers.

Inaditch		2002-12-06 03:40:53 PM

Come on, guys! Make with some real suggestions. This is a timely thread. I'm going to a strip club for a friend's birthday tonight.

I say he collects all the money from the people planning to buy him a dance, pick his favorite girl, and have one big uber-dance, as opposed to several shorter, normal dances.

damnitallthegoodnamesaretaken		2002-12-06 03:41:14 PM

Go to Montreal where the women are cheap and a dollar only cost you 55 cents.

eviltwinofjoat		2002-12-06 03:41:16 PM

Sudie, I'll vouch for that, except the wife bought ME the lapdance! Wide smiles all around :-D

dctpbs		2002-12-06 03:41:33 PM

Once in college a buddy and I went to this place in Memphis called "Platinum Plus." Man the quality of the trim in that place. . . Anyway, before we got there, we took the money we planned to spend to the bank and took it all out in $2 bills. Set aside a few $20's for lap dances. When tipping time came, we used the doubles. In the dark at first they looked like $20's. As word got around every girl in the place came by and hung out on our laps to get a few $2's. When the back room "special dance" time rolled around our creativity bought us some down the pants action. Most play I've ever gotten in a strip club.

BenRice		2002-12-06 03:42:19 PM

Go with your boss when he's paying. (Hello, Bert Ellis, former CEO, iXL!)

dctpbs		2002-12-06 03:42:28 PM

That said. . . . if u are sans girlefriend, save your money go to an oriental "health" joint (steam and cream) and enjoy the attention.

MalaclypseTheYounger		2002-12-06 03:42:55 PM

If you're not planning on going back there...
Sit right up front, right at the dancers. Bring no cash. Only credit, to pay for your drinks. (preferably, no ATM access with said card)

Stare intently at every single girl. Use photographic memory for later kitten-killing. Fake muteness if they try to talk to you. Make a game of it with your friends to not spend or give one single solitary dollar.

I love doing this. Eventually the girls will get the picture and totally ignore you, but sitting right up front like that, you get all the views you could possibly want.

Casey2		2002-12-06 03:42:56 PM

That chick has some Schwarzennegeresque legs.

ChadManMn		2002-12-06 03:43:00 PM

Sudie beat me to it. I take my girlfriend along and sit there like a drooling beer drinking perv while she gets lapdances and the girls hit on her.

steelwelder		2002-12-06 03:44:24 PM

The lap dance is always better when the stripper is crying.

jdemanon		2002-12-06 03:44:39 PM

play the quarter slots

mvswart		2002-12-06 03:44:53 PM

Inaditch: there's no sex in the champagne room. go for the individual dances. and don't buy those $90 drinks for the strippers.

Guy Incognito		2002-12-06 03:45:04 PM

Weaps, it definitely sounds like you got your money's worth!

holiday		2002-12-06 03:45:32 PM

Take one dollar bills rip 'em in half and roll 'em up
They do get pissed when they unroll 'em but you can stick 'em closed with a lil' giz I mean super glue.
(%

lulubird		2002-12-06 03:45:42 PM

If you are gonna be cheap about it Stay Home

bryckmen		2002-12-06 03:45:48 PM

Wet your hands, and wipe them on the bouncer's cheek as you leave.

dctpbs		2002-12-06 03:46:06 PM

hehe

Sternerverse		2002-12-06 03:46:24 PM

Buy 4 coin op video game machines. Become vendor to 2 strip clubs. Collect money from machines daily.

OR go during the day when all the good looking strippers are asleep dreaming of all the fools that tons of cash on them. Day strippers are hard up.

stvooh		2002-12-06 03:46:31 PM

"leave your money in the car".....go get it after the dance and take off as fast as you can

JoeyJoeJoeShabbadooJr		2002-12-06 03:46:41 PM

Tip the men's room attendant handsomely.

saron		2002-12-06 03:47:04 PM

Stay home and get a whore.

Seriously though, wait for the specials. They're all they're cracked up to be, but they're usually longer than the standard dances. Find the dancers that are spending a long tme with the customers, rather than the ones who are constantly doing the 'wannadance' routine. Also, any dancer who grabs a stack of napkins off the bar before a dance is a sure winner.

Get to know the girl. Go back. If you become some sort of regular they will treat you better than if you're just some random guy. Make them remember you, and the next time you come in you'll get better treatment. And tip. Even a coupla bucks over the cost of the dance will be appreciated.

Talk to the DJ and the bartenders, they're the ones who sit back and watch everything all day. They know what's up. Get the 411 from them, they're the ObiWans of the scene.

Crotchrocket Slim		2002-12-06 03:47:33 PM

Get a hooker.

Or better yet, stop being a bitter misogynistic asshole and treat women with respect, and actually get intimate with one. Then you'll get all your lapdances for free, and some big muscle-neck won't rough you up for touching the girls.

Or just take your really cool semi-bi gf with you, and buy her a few lapdances. She'll be horny enough afterwards that it'll be worth it... and you might even hook up the 3-way with a stripper :)

serpico		2002-12-06 03:48:09 PM

The one that I go to, the girls pay $25 to dance there. After that, they get to keep all the money from their dances. My suggestion, don't tip. That's what the girls there tell me (at least the ones I know outside of there)

OyleSylck		2002-12-06 03:48:42 PM

Take a bill and fold it lengthwise and lace it on the stage. Tell the stripper she has to pick it up without using her hands or mouth. What's left? Use your imagination... there's a reason you folded the bill lengthwise.

Take another bill, (make sure it's clean) fold it and hold it in your mouth. Make sure she uses her boobies to take the bill.

jer33		2002-12-06 03:48:53 PM

Go with your boss.

Spend all of your money on beer and ladies directed his way and snap a couple of poloroids.

That ought to get you that Christmas Bonus ole tightwad's been holding back. And if he doesn't pay up, start emailing the pictures to his teenage daughter and her friends.

Enjoy your evening.

Jer33

saron		2002-12-06 03:48:59 PM

Oh, and don't touch. If they allow it they'll show you. If you press the issue they'll get annoyed and push you away and your mileage will go down fast.

I'm a conniseur :P

MayoBoy		2002-12-06 03:49:03 PM

Leave the Winter Vomitting Disease as a tip for the entire club.

FLA Chickie		2002-12-06 03:49:21 PM

I make my boyfriend pay for the lap dances for me...

TheSnacky		2002-12-06 03:49:27 PM

dctpbs, I grew up in Memphis. Platinum Plus is quite the club. Before it was a strip club it was a steak house type restaurant called "the loft" never did well. Platinum Plus used to have a shower on one of the side stages that made for quite the entertaining show

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