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(Chicago Sun-Times)   Roger Ebert is convinced "Hellboy II" is an homage to the original "Star Wars"   (rogerebert.suntimes.com) divider line 86
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6139 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 12 Jul 2008 at 7:12 AM (5 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-07-12 05:39:38 AM
The movie that has a farmer joining forces with a rogue and a princess and two bumbling sidekicks that join forces to batttle a dark lord?

Oh wait, that was lord of the Rings.
 
2008-07-12 05:51:25 AM
eyehate:a farmer

Frodo wasn't a farmer!

eyehate:a princess

Sam?

I get your point though.
 
2008-07-12 06:03:22 AM
Churchill2004:eyehate:a princess

Sam?


I laughed ;)
 
2008-07-12 07:15:10 AM
eyehate:The movie that has a farmer joining forces with a rogue and a princess and two bumbling sidekicks that join forces to batttle a dark lord?

Naw, dude. You're thinking about the movie that has a midget farmer and his bumbling sidekick joining forces with a rogue warrior and turncoat princess to battle a dark queen.

Oh, hold on a sec. That was Willow.
 
2008-07-12 07:30:52 AM
Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

Freddy got Fingered
 
2008-07-12 07:35:27 AM
Pocket Ninja:eyehate:The movie that has a farmer joining forces with a rogue and a princess and two bumbling sidekicks that join forces to batttle a dark lord?

Naw, dude. You're thinking about the movie that has a midget farmer and his bumbling sidekick joining forces with a rogue warrior and turncoat princess to battle a dark queen.

Oh, hold on a sec. That was Willow.


Clearyly you're both wrong, that was Hidden Fortress
 
2008-07-12 07:49:48 AM
Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

"When Joe Dirt thinks he has an atom bomb, until the cap gets knocked off, and a geyser of brown crud pours out, and he just stands there while it covers him--that's not funny."

Yes it is.
 
2008-07-12 08:10:05 AM
danking:Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

"When Joe Dirt thinks he has an atom bomb, until the cap gets knocked off, and a geyser of brown crud pours out, and he just stands there while it covers him--that's not funny."

Yes it is.


To be fair, it is strapped to his back. It's not like he can run away.

Alas, still not funny.
 
2008-07-12 08:13:09 AM
As long as it stays clear as a sequel to Hellboy 1 that will be good. Damn that movie sucked!
 
2008-07-12 08:13:24 AM
Does Ebert still look like a fat black woman. For a while there I just couldn't tell.
 
2008-07-12 08:19:52 AM
Having seen the movie, but not read the review, I am guessing that he compares the Hellboy marketplace scene to the Star Wars bar scene.
 
2008-07-12 08:45:09 AM
i133.photobucket.com

Selma Blair (left) and Ron Perlman star in, "Hellboy II: The Golden Army."

Maybe it's because I haven't had any coffee yet today, but this amused me greatly. Oh, that's her on the left?? Whew ... I was confused for a second.
 
2008-07-12 08:51:12 AM
Saw it last night -- really liked it for what it was. Thought it could've been tightened up a little editing-wise, but it might've seemed a bit long because we had 7 previews before the movie started. Still though, it was moderately entertaining and I enjoyed it.

One question: Is it a rule that it must snow (or look like it's snowing) in every Del Toro movie?
 
2008-07-12 08:54:50 AM
What a bunch of damn drivel. I think Mr. Ebert has watched a few too many movies, and now they are all running together in his head. I reckon even movie reviewers jump the shark, and it appears that Ebert has done so.
 
2008-07-12 08:57:57 AM
Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt
Freddy got Fingered


Heck, I haven't trusted Ebert's reviews since he raved about Curley Sue and that was 17 years ago..

www.rfgrand.dockratent.com

/Proof positive that John Hughes had totally lost it
//James Belushi and an annoying little girl, wtf?
///hotlinked for my laziness
 
2008-07-12 08:58:33 AM
Churchill2004:eyehate:a farmer

Frodo wasn't a farmer!

eyehate:a princess

Sam?

I get your point though.


LOL, an another note, nice to see you back on TF
 
2008-07-12 08:59:18 AM
Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

Freddy got Fingered


He gave The Strangers 1.5 stars.
 
2008-07-12 09:07:13 AM
Pretty good movie, although it was weird seeing Selma Blair with that haircut, since now she looks very much like my ex-girlfriend, minus the boobs. Kept distracting me all the way through. Troll Market is very Cantina-esque though.

master_of_rayality:One question: Is it a rule that it must snow (or look like it's snowing) in every Del Toro movie?

He's Mexican, maybe it's a novelty for him.
 
2008-07-12 09:25:16 AM
master_of_rayality:Saw it last night -- really liked it for what it was. Thought it could've been tightened up a little editing-wise,

That was my impression too. I loved the Forest God scene though, especially the ending of it.
 
2008-07-12 10:08:34 AM
Ebert has been very generous withh the stars lately. Still, I always enjoy his reviews.
 
2008-07-12 10:18:19 AM
danking:Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

"When Joe Dirt thinks he has an atom bomb, until the cap gets knocked off, and a geyser of brown crud pours out, and he just stands there while it covers him--that's not funny."

Yes it is.


Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.
 
2008-07-12 10:36:30 AM
wolvernova:Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.

You are wrong.
 
2008-07-12 10:38:27 AM
Mentat:wolvernova:Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.

You are wrong.


Ebert is with me. He won the Pulitzer.
 
2008-07-12 10:40:49 AM
wolvernova:danking:Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

"When Joe Dirt thinks he has an atom bomb, until the cap gets knocked off, and a geyser of brown crud pours out, and he just stands there while it covers him--that's not funny."

Yes it is.

Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.


And then there was North ^....
 
2008-07-12 11:08:38 AM
eh, it was okay. It's clear that a lot more time was spent on the sets/character design than the script. and even then some of the characters were just kind of ugly (and not in their intended way). There was also a bit too much going on plotwise, much like the the 90s Batman movies.
 
2008-07-12 11:20:09 AM
Joseph Campbell was right!

'Hero With a Thousand Faces' FTW.
 
2008-07-12 11:21:20 AM
wolvernova:Mentat:wolvernova:Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.

You are wrong.

Ebert is with me. He won the Pulitzer.


Siskel explained Ebert's Pulitzer when the two of them were on Letterman's show a number of years (obviously) back: "You're the only one whose Pulitzer came in the mail addressed to 'occupant.'"

Still love Ebert's reviews. Your Movie Sucks is an awesome read.
 
2008-07-12 11:35:22 AM
A secret underground market where all kinds of creatures get together and trade things... how original.
www.illiterarty.com
 
2008-07-12 11:35:56 AM
Subby: when a word starts with a consonant, the preceding indefinite article is "a", not "an". Save "an" for preceding words that start with a vowel.

"H" is not a vowel! Fark the english and their incompetence with their own language.
 
2008-07-12 11:46:35 AM
syrynxx:Subby: when a word starts with a consonant, the preceding indefinite article is "a", not "an". Save "an" for preceding words that start with a vowel.

"H" is not a vowel! Fark the english and their incompetence with their own language.


It's not the letter, it's the sound. "Homage" is pronounced with a silent "H."

You're a moron.
 
2008-07-12 11:59:31 AM
Saw the movie last night. Thought it dragged a little in the beginning. Guillermo del Toro's visual style was very evident in the movie but I don't think it blended well with the Hellboy world. Gorgeous but out of place. Even though the friends I went with liked it also, we couldn't get Men in Black out of our heads.. A lot of scenes resembled that movie. Heck at one point I thought Flick was going to start dancing to Will Smith's men in black song.
Small annoyances but great movie otherwise. The tooth fairy rocked.
 
2008-07-12 11:59:57 AM
"you say Erb, and we say Herb... because there's a farking H in it"
 
2008-07-12 12:16:54 PM
GypsyJoker:"You're the only one whose Pulitzer came in the mail addressed to 'occupant.'"

LMFAO

I've seen them on Letterman but don't remember that one.

Here's another funny clip of them:

Link (new window)
 
2008-07-12 12:37:16 PM
So he hated it?

Because I remember the first time he reviewed it, he said it was just very, very bad.
 
2008-07-12 12:39:48 PM
He keeps going on about all the CG, and how Hellboy is "CGI for the most part".

?

Ron Perlman (and many others) are wearing prosthetics. Yes, some elements are added in, I'm sure, but I would hardly say Hellboy himself is mostly CG. :-/

http://www.fangoria.com/fearful_feature.php?id=6885
 
2008-07-12 01:03:38 PM
Kirby Muxloe:A secret underground market where all kinds of creatures get together and trade things... how original.

I would love to see del Toro direct a film version of Neverwhere. He's the only director I can think of who'd be able to do the story justice visually.
 
2008-07-12 01:07:21 PM
Blondehorizon:He keeps going on about all the CG, and how Hellboy is "CGI for the most part".

?

Ron Perlman (and many others) are wearing prosthetics. Yes, some elements are added in, I'm sure, but I would hardly say Hellboy himself is mostly CG. :-/

http://www.fangoria.com/fearful_feature.php?id=6885


Yeah, Ebert is straight up smoking crack on that one. Del Toro recently stated at the premier in Austin that 90% of the creature effects are puppetry and prosthetic makeup. Only about 10% was done with CGI.
 
2008-07-12 01:14:20 PM
Kirby Muxloe:A secret underground market where all kinds of creatures get together and trade things... how original.

Nothing in the Hellboy comics or movies are original. It's all myths, legends, Lovecraft, and Poe. I like the comics because of how Mike Mignola puts those elements together. On the other hand, the first movie was terrible. It was like a bad 80's cop movie with monsters in it. Look at the characters: rookie, loose cannon, doomed guy about to retire, strict by-the-book chief. You might as well call it Lethal Weapon 5.
 
2008-07-12 01:25:22 PM
wolvernova:Mentat:wolvernova:Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.

You are wrong.

Ebert is with me. He won the Pulitzer.


Evert didn't understand the ending to Spider Man.
 
2008-07-12 01:27:55 PM
Golden Army?

So the movie is about Mongols invading Russia?


/yes, I know, "horde," not "army"
//shut up
 
2008-07-12 01:33:05 PM
Mentat: wolvernova:Mentat:wolvernova:Nothing in that movie is funny. I want to beat down whoever begged me to watch it with them.

You are wrong.

Ebert is with me. He won the Pulitzer.

Evert didn't understand the ending to Spider Man.


To be fair, tennis was her game. No one was playing tennis at the end of Spider Man.
 
2008-07-12 01:37:55 PM
Roger Ebert also loved "The Majestic." Just sayin'.
 
2008-07-12 01:46:47 PM
Kirby Muxloe:A secret underground market where all kinds of creatures get together and trade things... how original.

Yeah, but that book sucks.
 
2008-07-12 02:00:46 PM
Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert

Joe Dirt

Freddy got Fingered


get your fill with his book, "Your Movie Sucks"
 
2008-07-12 02:48:12 PM
Funny, it reminded me more of EPs I, II and III: It looked good, but the script was crap. The story was full of holes and the dialogue was clumsy and stilted. Was the first one this bad?
 
2008-07-12 03:02:50 PM
upload.wikimedia.org

The most shameless Star Wars rip off ever:

1. A powerful dragon rider turns evil and betrays the rest of the dragon riders, killing them all.
2. One old rider survives, disguising himself as a crazy old man. 3. He meets an orphaned farmboy living with his uncle who has potential and trains in the forgotten ways of the dragon riders.
4. They break into an enemy fortress and rescue a rebel princess.
5. Old rider is killed, young farm boy comes of age and defeats bad guys in final battle.
 
2008-07-12 03:13:02 PM
Ebert gave Die Hard 2 stars. fark him.
 
2008-07-12 03:54:21 PM
Roger Ebert is convinced "Hellboy II" is an homage to the original "Star Wars"

Roger Ebert is also an insane, cancer-ridden, and very possibly senile old coot. So, you know, the one probably explains the other..
 
2008-07-12 04:19:04 PM
Hey now. Ebert was brave enough to give Triumph of the Will 1 star. And who else has had the courage to denounce Nazi propaganda?
 
2008-07-12 04:21:20 PM
Feel_the_velvet:Roger Every-movie-I-review-is-3.4-or-4-stars Ebert.

I miss the old, bitter Roger Ebert...


You don't know what you're talking about. Dude gave thumbs down and two-and-a-half stars to The Incredible Hulk, for god's sake.

Bonus: if you want something truly mean and funny, check his review for The Love Guru. He gives it a single star and excoriates the film.

Gravitholus:...the first movie was terrible...

And you're out of your mind.
 
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