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(Mainichi Daily News)   "Naked blonde walks into a bar with a poodle under one arm, and a two-foot salami under the other. The bartender says, I guess you won't be needing a drink. Naked lady says..."   (mdn.mainichi.jp) divider line 266
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63928 clicks; posted to Main » on 11 Jul 2008 at 7:38 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-07-11 01:53:37 AM
That kid oughtta know, you mess with the bull, you get the horns.

/very nice work, Submitter
 
2008-07-11 02:03:37 AM
+1 subby

demented and sad...
 
2008-07-11 02:03:59 AM
The next time I have to come in here, I'm cracking skulls.

/subby gets a golf clap
 
2008-07-11 02:11:40 AM
The access door to the space above the backdoor ceiling was left open and a ladder left there, even though the door is supposed to be screwed shut, according to municipal government officials.


"Screws just fall out all the time, the world's an imperfect place."
 
2008-07-11 02:13:06 AM
I am so proud of my son, who's fifteen. I showed him the story and then the headline, and he grinned and said, "Funny."

I asked him what it's from...and he knew. I am so proud.

+1 subby, beautiful job.
 
2008-07-11 02:41:17 AM
I'm a frayed knot!
 
2008-07-11 03:31:16 AM
Dallymo:I am so proud of my son, who's fifteen. I showed him the story and then the headline, and he grinned and said, "Funny."

I asked him what it's from...and he knew. I am so proud.

+1 subby, beautiful job.


Well he knows his movie quotations better than I. I had to do some googling to find the film. I don't remember anyone saying that...
 
2008-07-11 03:45:21 AM
screechingbitermonkey:I'm a frayed knot!

Three strings walk into a bar...
 
2008-07-11 05:07:14 AM
Hey subby... Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?

/well done sir.
 
2008-07-11 05:39:16 AM
Could you describe the ruckus, submitter ?
 
2008-07-11 07:16:23 AM
Maybe I'm just not caffinated enough, but I don't get what the headline has to do with the story. Somebody explain?
 
2008-07-11 07:38:18 AM
The Breakfast Club:

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says.....

Bender falls through the ceiling before he gets to the punchline


/thank you google.
 
2008-07-11 07:40:42 AM
Hofheim:The Breakfast Club:

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says.....

Bender falls through the ceiling before he gets to the punchline


/thank you google.


Aww you ruined it :P
 
2008-07-11 07:41:31 AM
There actually is no punchline to that joke.
 
2008-07-11 07:42:02 AM
Nice selection Subby
 
2008-07-11 07:42:49 AM
Dallymo:I am so proud of my son, who's fifteen. I showed him the story and then the headline, and he grinned and said, "Funny."

I asked him what it's from...and he knew. I am so proud.

+1 subby, beautiful job.


I knew that quote when I was 15, as well.

/then again, that's because I was 15 years old when the movie was in theaters
 
2008-07-11 07:43:15 AM
+1 subby! well done.
 
2008-07-11 07:44:10 AM
This would make my HOY candidate list if it didn't rely on the story. Nice job subby.
 
2008-07-11 07:45:41 AM
Hofheim:The Breakfast Club:

A naked blond walks into a bar, with a poodle under one arm, and a two foot salami under the other. She lays the poodle on the table. Bartender says, "I suppose you won't be needing a drink." The naked lady says.....

Bender falls through the ceiling before he gets to the punchline


/thank you google.



thank you! i went to the article expecting something about a naked lady lol became v. confused and checked to make sure i had clicked the right link lol

/worth nothing before 8 am really...
//esp w/o caffiene...
 
2008-07-11 07:45:54 AM
www.nicksflickpicks.com
approve of this headline

/hotlinked
 
2008-07-11 07:50:23 AM
Dallymo:I am so proud of my son, who's fifteen. I showed him the story and then the headline, and he grinned and said, "Funny."

I asked him what it's from...and he knew. I am so proud.

+1 subby, beautiful job.


you're so proud of your son for remembering a movie quote? what happens if he gets a D+ in gym. throw a parade?
 
2008-07-11 07:51:29 AM
how come Andrew gets to get up?
if he gets up, we'll all get up... it'll be anarchy!

\it's out of my hands
 
2008-07-11 07:52:29 AM
fark_say_waaa:if he gets a D+ in gym.

Did he eat a lot of paint chips when he was a kid?
 
2008-07-11 07:54:15 AM
"You must be here to fix the cable."
 
2008-07-11 07:54:19 AM
fish500:byelii:i've got you for 4 weeks


FAIL!

/it's 2 months
//hence the 2 fingers


But it wasn't two months!!!!

"That's seven including the first one shen you asked Mr. Vernon here if Barry Manilow knew that you raid his wardrobe."


Mr. Vernon was a dick.
 
2008-07-11 08:01:08 AM
"You know [John Hughes] too? That farking guy. Made this flick '16 Candles' right? Not bad it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a shiat about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. Farking 'Breakfast Club' all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, farking 'Weird Science' where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's 'Pretty In Pink' which I can't watch with this tubby muthafarker any more, because everytime we get to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and shiat. And nothing is worse then watching a fat man weep."


For my money, give me a Kevin Smith movie over a John Hughes movie any day of the week.
 
2008-07-11 08:04:44 AM
But it wasn't two months!!!!

"That's seven including the first one shen you asked Mr. Vernon here if Barry Manilow knew that you raid his wardrobe."


actually he's right, i just popped it in to see. it's 8 weeks at th end of the exchange. after hall says that, vernon says 'that's 8 and YOU stay out of it"

i will return my eighties-fu card to the nearest regional field office this afternoon. . .
 
2008-07-11 08:04:54 AM
TraeHova:For my money, give me a Kevin Smith movie over a John Hughes movie any day of the week.

I could watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off or Uncle Buck all day, every day.
 
2008-07-11 08:05:04 AM
Bravo, subby.

FTFARelated articles

Boy dies after plunging 12 meters through roof skylight window at elementary school


What the hell is going on over there with kids on the roofs of elementary schools?
 
2008-07-11 08:05:53 AM
Gee, Dad. That'd be swell!


But I've got homework.....
 
2008-07-11 08:06:18 AM
So its sort of social. Demented and sad, but social, right?
 
2008-07-11 08:09:31 AM
Missed reference
More coffee...
 
2008-07-11 08:09:39 AM
TraeHova
"You know [John Hughes] too? That farking guy. Made this flick '16 Candles' right? Not bad it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a shiat about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. Farking 'Breakfast Club' all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, farking 'Weird Science' where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's 'Pretty In Pink' which I can't watch with this tubby muthafarker any more, because everytime we get to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and shiat. And nothing is worse then watching a fat man weep."


For my money, give me a Kevin Smith movie over a John Hughes movie any day of the week.


This chick, for one, would tag team Bender and Jay. Probably wouldn't take long, but I can't resist those stoner types.
 
2008-07-11 08:09:45 AM
forgot my pencil!
 
2008-07-11 08:11:30 AM
TraeHova:"You know [John Hughes] too? That farking guy. Made this flick '16 Candles' right? Not bad it's got tits in it, but no bush. Of course Ebert over here don't give a shiat about that stuff cause he's all in love with this John Hughes guy and rents every one of his movies. Farking 'Breakfast Club' all these stupid kids actually show up to detention, farking 'Weird Science' where this one chick wants to take off her gear and get down, but aw, no she don't cause it's a PG movie, and then there's 'Pretty In Pink' which I can't watch with this tubby muthafarker any more, because everytime we get to the part where the redhead hooks up with her dream guy, he starts sobbin' like a little eight-year-old with a skinned knee and shiat. And nothing is worse then watching a fat man weep."

Dogma is one of my all time fav's
 
2008-07-11 08:12:07 AM
My wifes coworker came by last week.breakfast club was on one of the HBO's and she asked what movie was I watching. she had never seen it.I couldnt believe it. She is only twenty one but still. *palm to face*
 
2008-07-11 08:12:27 AM
crazycooter:What the hell is going on over there with kids on the roofs of elementary schools?

When I was at school (1980s, UK) it was common for kids to get onto the roofs after dark.

I think it combined the right amount of fun, danger, and 'fark you school!'
 
2008-07-11 08:12:39 AM
You want another
one? Say the word, just say the word! Instead of going to prison, you'll come here! Are you through?

No!

I'm doing Society a favor!

So?

That's another one, right now! I've got you for the rest of your natural born life if you don't watch your step! You want another one?

Yes!

[...]

You Through?

Not even close bud!


\Ahhh, good times, good times indeed!
\\Now Where did I put that application for the Airborne Rangers
 
2008-07-11 08:12:53 AM
Came for the headline, stayed for the movie quotes.

\for better hallway vision
 
2008-07-11 08:14:01 AM
Hey Claire, would date a guy with elephantisis of the nuts?
 
2008-07-11 08:14:02 AM
Say son! how'd you like to go fishing this weekend?
Great dad! But I've got homework to do...
That's alright! You can do it on the boat!
Gee! Thanks Dad!
Dear, isn't our son swell?
Yes dear, isn't life swell?
Awwww *smooch*
Awwww *smooch*
*punch*


\couldn't resist...
 
2008-07-11 08:14:41 AM
sabremkg:My wifes coworker came by last week.breakfast club was on one of the HBO's and she asked what movie was I watching. she had never seen it.I couldnt believe it. She is only twenty one but still. *palm to face*

My wife consistently fails to identify Beatles songs, and she's 37. Pop culture ain't for everybody, but DAMN girl?!?
 
2008-07-11 08:16:16 AM
crazycooter:Bravo, subby.

FTFARelated articles

Boy dies after plunging 12 meters through roof skylight window at elementary school

What the hell is going on over there with kids on the roofs of elementary schools?



Darn you. I wanted to say that! ;)
 
2008-07-11 08:18:29 AM
You know what Christmas was at the Bender household? I got a carton of cigarettes from my old man who said, "smoke up, Johnny!"

/prolly messed up the quote
//too lazy to check IMDB quotes
 
2008-07-11 08:19:56 AM
Old people are old.
 
2008-07-11 08:20:18 AM
nopokerface:sabremkg:My wifes coworker came by last week.breakfast club was on one of the HBO's and she asked what movie was I watching. she had never seen it.I couldnt believe it. She is only twenty one but still. *palm to face*

My wife consistently fails to identify Beatles songs, and she's 37. Pop culture ain't for everybody, but DAMN girl?!?


The beatles were overated Brits who couldn't carry Mick Jaggers Jock Strap.
 
2008-07-11 08:21:21 AM
I find it strange this only made it onto fark now. This happened like 2-3 weeks ago.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2008-07-11 08:22:08 AM
I didn't get it, but in my defense I don't think I've seen the movie since 1985.
 
2008-07-11 08:23:18 AM
mammaboom:I can't resist those stoner types.

HowYOUDoin?
Innit about time for an Austin Fark party?

/wait . . . what?
 
2008-07-11 08:23:37 AM
globalwarmingpraiser:The beatles were overated Brits who couldn't carry Mick Jaggers Jock Strap.

That opinion notwithstanding, can you imagine not knowing who sings 'Let it Be'?
 
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