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(The Tech Zone)   Type R your Jetta   ( divider line
    More: Satire  
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4105 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 Aug 2001 at 12:17 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

73 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-08-16 12:27:05 PM  
I've actually seen the car I made around here.
2001-08-16 12:27:39 PM  
Boobies? I see these types of cars everyday by the University of California Irvine (UCI).
2001-08-16 12:30:08 PM  
Yeah I got one! Theres nothing like your first time.
2001-08-16 12:30:56 PM  

I think someone at had a hand in this.
2001-08-16 12:32:39 PM  
Man that is hilarious! I think my muffler might be dragging a little bit...especially under the weight of my giant pink spoiler. Now I just need to join an asian gang...and get an Asian hottie who wears more makeup than clothing.
2001-08-16 12:42:44 PM  
So this is a national thing? I thought it was just here in Oregon. How does the mind set and trend to do this to your car carry nationwide? And why is it that a majority of the people that do this is of the asian culture? I mean I see em everywhere and the cars like this is most often driven by somebody Asian. Is it just an american asian trend or are people in asia doing this too?
2001-08-16 12:46:35 PM  
Nkosika the Asians in Asia "type R" their Escorts
2001-08-16 12:50:08 PM  
WOW! That little thing is fantastic! I live in San Jose area and those little things are driving around everywhere, except I think they have bigger spoilers and more shiat around the body. Hah. I saw a bumper sticker on this car with a 6" exhaust pipe that said 'loud exhaust' saves lives. I wonder if he had that pipe on there for safety then, realizing everything he'd done to his car actually detracts from it's performance =].
2001-08-16 12:51:28 PM  
I live in Alaska, and there seems to be some connection between Pacific Islanders and doing this to any car, I have seen Hundai's with this shiat all over them. I love the spoilers, cause at 95 miles and hour you really need to be held to the ground. retarted. The best part is that you useually have some sort of body damage, cause they cant drive. Go watch The Fast and the Furious....fags
2001-08-16 01:14:07 PM  
Try you can ticket these farked up cars.
2001-08-16 01:21:06 PM  
there was recently an accident in my hometown (peabody, ma) wherein 2 cars were drag racing on an entirely too short an inappropriate strip in broad daylight. the firebird with the nitrous tanks (yeah) ended up hitting a turning truck, flipping, and ejecting the girl in the back seat so forcefully that she was decapitated by the traffic light hanging 20 feet from the ground.
sounds like some hollywood shiat, but its absolutely true.
oh yeah, we have trick hyundais, too.
2001-08-16 01:22:58 PM  
Performance: Not available

Damn straight.
2001-08-16 01:24:11 PM  
It's not just national... International too. The UK is full of twats called "Daz" and "Gaz" (in fact anything with 3 letters. including A znd Z). What makes me laugh is that the cars normally have an 1100cc engine under all the plastic crap. It makes me laugh to see the headlights go dim when the base comes in...
2001-08-16 01:24:12 PM  
BAMF75, i second that, i live in south florida where the julio's also have the muffler-sounds-like-lawnmower-syndrome. 100 horses (bwahah) of fury under a farking roller skate looking car's hood, real cool. Front wheel burn outs are really really retarded.
2001-08-16 01:28:06 PM  
BEst one I've ever seen is a Hummer, LOWERED to a razor scootor clearence with big shiny chrome rims, blue neon on the under belly and total black tinted windows... I laughed so hard! Moron...
2001-08-16 01:39:45 PM  
Looking at the site stats was pretty funny.
2001-08-16 02:26:57 PM  
I have a neighbor who has his gulf and passat all pimped out..saaad stuff,
There's also an old van and a spraypainted buick like this......take a $200 car and add $2500 or crap to it...oy!
2001-08-16 02:29:05 PM  
I'm going to "Type R" a Geo Metro.
2001-08-16 02:30:37 PM  
3/4 inch exhaust pipe with a 6 inch tip!
now thats performance.........
2001-08-16 02:35:29 PM  

Yep, I live in OC too -- see that crap all over the place. Pathetic.
2001-08-16 03:27:26 PM  
The funny part is, I tell my husband that these guys are all posers, and he keeps telling me,"they put tons of money into them" Yeah, they do, but you get nothing out of it.
I have to laugh.
2001-08-16 03:39:36 PM  
2001-08-16 03:42:54 PM  
Hmm... let's try that again.

[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-16 03:44:24 PM  
i think its funny how everybody in this things they're an expert. for the record, i enjoy having a beautiful car that looks good, but is also functional. i drive a Audi A6 quattro, which has a V-6 and all wheel drive. In order to distinguish myself from the doctor/lawyer-types who normally drive luxury cars, true, i gave my car a personal touch. with a revised air intake, a new high rise cam, and 2.5 inch exhaust from the manifold back, the car pushes 270 hp. i put clear turn signals in (thats how they are in Germany i believe...?) and i plan on adding wheels from the new Audi TT coupe.

Everything can be done to excess, like the big fat hairy muscle shirt wearing Harley rider with straight pipes.

and btw, the "Loud Pipes save lives" sticker is something i've seen at many classic car shows.

Driving a car like a TRUE Integra TYPE-R or a Civic SI is a thrill. i have a smile from ear to ear when i decide to race a 5.0 and subsequently blow the doors off. (stupid hicks don't realize all wheel drive is for performance, not just safety.) so before you start ing about posers, and the like.. think about it. its like you bastards who buy Suburbans and Explorers and never go even near off-road.

any farkers who live In Rhode Island and would like to see/experience what these cars are about, Im organizing a "convoy" to the best import car show of the year, in Walpole, Mass. I'll be there with my friend who is showing his Acura Legend, which let me tell you, gets looks from youngsters and old people alike, and its pretty radical. so all you "tough-guys" put your balls on the line..what do you drive???
2001-08-16 03:54:27 PM  
please. my car gets me from point a to point b, comfortably and economically. i don't feel any need to embellish my dick size with a fast car.
2001-08-16 04:18:54 PM  
The only real embellishment on my car, a 1985 Chevy Blazer, is an old-fashioned "Aooga" horn instead of the normal "beep" horn. It's great for hailing/surprising pedestrians or making light of gridlocked traffic.

Who the hell ever needs to drive over 100 mph or go from 0 to 60 in a second anyway? Geez, go ride a roller coaster or something.
2001-08-16 04:19:27 PM  

I've got to agree with you about the thrill of a quick car. I used to have a Stealth Twin Turbo AWD with boost control, Borla exhaust, K&N'ed, that ran 12.78 (corrected) at our local straightline track. I got "challenged" by these at least once a week on the commute home. Oooh...neon and a blatty exhaust...
But I did get into with a Integra GS-R on the interstate and he pulled well (not well enough) :)
Anyway, glad to see an enthusiast on the board...Later
2001-08-16 04:20:25 PM  
Mme: good luck trying to get one, even the most elite can' production number. the V-12 Vanquish is a most equisite autmobile...ahh to be that rich :)
2001-08-16 04:25:30 PM  
There are different categories of people involved here...

First, there is the rice-boys. The Rice-boys make their car look fast (and stupid) for the purpose of attracting other asians. The thing is, they manage to convince themselves that they have a fast car. I saw somewhere on the internet some guy bragging about his Honda Civic beating vipers. He started naming off modification after modification. Problem is, he really only named off two power-producing mods (in this case a cone air filter that replaced the and a "performance" exhaust)... All the rest were asthetic. So, this Honda could not have possibly beat this viper. Sure, the honda would have had en ever so slight advantage over other hondas of the same type. And even that's questionable because of all the extra weight added to his car by putting stupid shiat on it anyways.

What sense is there in buying $3000 to make your car look fast when you could buy a turbo kit (a cheap one mind you) to actually make your car faster?

People like this amuse me. I've had several try to pass me and they have all failed. It's funny too, cause they are really, really trying and the crappy honda engine (which is most often the case) simply shows it true power.
2001-08-16 04:26:30 PM  
Who the hell ever needs to drive over 100 mph or go from 0 to 60 in a second anyway? Geez, go ride a roller coaster or something.

People are addicted to speed.
I know I am.
2001-08-16 04:27:00 PM  
My previous post was supposed to be a quote, thank you. I'll shut up temporarily.
2001-08-16 04:28:55 PM  
Malinios: lol on the "posterboy" theres nothing like an all wheel drive powerslide to get ya goin! Stealths are awesome machines, i almost bought a 3000GT VR-4...but im 6'1 and didn't really like the size of the car, but man, was that thing a killer!!!

I used to go pick up my girlfriend (ex now) at Quinnipiac University near New Haven, CT. the rides back at 2 or 3 in the morning were incredible. no cops, and endless miles of black pavement waiting to be gobbled up. at first she didn't like 100-115 mph..then she got really really excited when she saw me downshifting :) stops in darkness can be very very conducive to roadside *fun* (grins)

(thinking about how nice Rt.295 may be tonight...)
2001-08-16 04:30:58 PM  
wow. your dick must be huge.
2001-08-16 04:32:33 PM  
Capt: how true. its like this kid i know who has an Acura Integra..he put an air kit on and said he lost horsepower. DUH! without an exhaust, an air kit just dumps more air into a clogged spot. i agree rice boys are *most definitely* out there, and some are just ridiculous. i laugh when i hear about people getting pulled over for speeding, well with huge wings and advertisements on the side of your car, what do you expect!! the only way to tell my car apart from a stock Audi is to A. raise the hood , or B. drive it...

and about a honda beating a Viper?? even i find that pretty funny. the only Honda product that could keep up with a Viper would be an Acura NSX, and even then the viper would eat it off the line.
2001-08-16 04:35:47 PM  
I hardly think that anyone here claimed to be an expert at anything. Just a common held opinion that most of these pimped up, whacked out, rice-mobiles that will decapitate any lifeform that is taller than 1 & 1/2 inches, and have more cubic inch displacement in their exhaust tips as compared to their cylinders, are well... pretty damned gay.

All wheel drive is kinda nifty, but it's mainly for traction control, but it won't hold you to the ground any tighter then the tires ability to stick to the pavement. In straightline drags the benefits are negligable. There are plenty of two wheel drive autos that will show all wheel drive vehicals nothing but tail lamps.

I used to drive an 84 Firebird SE, that I had replaced the stock 305, with a re-engineered 350 that was pushing close to 400 horses. Stiffened up the suspension just slightly, and switched all the bushings to urethane. That was it. No lowering, no pimping, none of this ugly shiat that you see on many of todays cars that totally detract from the looks, and functionality of a car.

Mine looked totally stock, almost sounded stock, except that the compression ratio had been raised from 8.5:1 to 10:1 and the exhaust note sounded a little more solid. It was what you would term a "sleeper car". Really surprised a few people who wanted to get cocky. The car was built to perform when I needed it, and not for show, and was an absolute pleasure to drive.

Anyway, no one was pointing their fingers directly at you when they made their comments, however, if we have all managed to strike a nerve, then why not post a picture of your beauty?

Allow me to clarify that I'm hardly an expert.

- Big
2001-08-16 04:40:44 PM  
Big: i will post pictures of car after i detail it (thats what i do, i run a car detailing business).

True, *most* all wheel drive cars are for safety, but the Quattro system from Audi is also for performance since it uses the Torsen locking differential. And how can you say the performance is hardly negligable in drag situations? I can launch at 4200 RPM without nary a wheel slip. ( I realize with a stall speed converter and slicks so can a Firebird. My friend Greg has had Firebirds, a 91 Formula, and now a 92, so im not biased as to import/american...but i do know performance when i see it.

and, best sleeper car i've seen was a 1993 Ford Taurus SHO 5-Speed with all the emblems and factory effects removed. it looked like a damn grocery getter. it ran *certifiably* a 5.7 0-60 time. no shiat.
2001-08-16 05:00:17 PM  
"Loud pipes save lives"

I think this is true in some ways... I almost got flattened on my motorcycle on the way home again yesterday, all because the person in the next lane over didn't bother to look in their mirror. They changed lanes abruptly while I was going around 70mph and nearly pinned me into a slow moving pick up truck. Closest call I've had in 4 years of riding those damn things (I'm thinking 5" or less on both sides is about right).

I need a loud ass race can and a headlight modulator. heh. Annoying, sure, but I'll live to see 50.
2001-08-16 05:00:22 PM  
really man, my ex-girlfrined drives an Audi A6, it's a biatch car. she thinks it's so "neato" to shift from the steering wheel. 270hp, HUH, now after that MAMMOTH power goes to the wheels , your lookin at alot less then that. you been race'in some rednecks in 5.0 who obovisly have many speeding tickets and doesn't want anymore by showing up a audi. the geez in my hood, drive these a car with crazy chinese symbols all over them(which they have no clue what it says, but all the other geez have it)and could not even begin to fathom the electronical bullshiat their car is made up of. so like you they add easy slip on crap. hey, you brought it up. as for me ,i drive a True automobile, a 1967 piss yellow chevy NOVA with a 350,(and a little shot of something speacil if you come around my strip)
2001-08-16 05:13:09 PM  
I have a 4 banger wrangler, I put studded tires on in the winter, how is that for a mod. Anyway up in in AK, I love to see the lowered cars, when it snows more then 6 inches they all stay home, we have ice on the road 5 months a year, alot of good your slick little plastic car is going to do you. If I want to mod cars I play GT aspec. I will put my Jeep up against anyone on a snow and ice covered incline, my dick is huge.
2001-08-16 05:16:25 PM  
Your point is well taken, however, I did not state that all wheel drive did not enhance performance. My point is that all wheel drive is mainly a traction control feature. You still have a finite amount of horsepower and torque to work with, you're simply applying it to four wheels instead of two. In any case, four wheel drive or no, the result is the same if you exceed the tires ability to stick to the ground. Lack of traction = nasty shiat.

All wheel drive will help in start line traction, slippery conditions etc. It is not, however, the deciding factor. It would all depend on the type of drag that you are talking about, i.e., distance covered etc.

Perhaps I should have said something along the lines of: If both cars get fair traction, which hardly requires a set of slicks or a stall converter. In fact a stall converter has no bearing on traction whatsoever. A higher stall speed converter lets you build higher revs, and thusly, more torque before it's fluid coupling becomes active. It does not improve the cars ability to stick to the ground.

Personally, I prefer standards. Unfortunately, my Firebird had an automatic, but it held up nicely.

Yes, you may have less wheel slip at start, but I've seen plenty of cars, including my own, which may have some wheel spin right at the punch, but then quickly stick and then kick major ass.

It normally is not the horsepower that wins, but who has the more substantial torque curve.

Now, it would be a fair statement to say, that if you have two cars, same make, totally equal, except for the fact that one has four wheel drive, and the other has two, then yes, there would be a definate advantage.

We just finshed restoring a '57 Corvette that is of course rear wheel drive, and it has Falken Ziex street tires, which are incredibly sticky. Standard trans, pushing 475 HP, and the thing will lift the front off the ground because it sticks too damned well.

All due repect, it would probably win. While towing your buds Firebirds behind it.

2001-08-16 05:31:39 PM  
I used to have a 1993 GMC TYPHOON which was unfortunately stolen. The thing blew the doors off of Ferrari's and was stock straight from the factory. Man that thing was fun. 300hp, AWD, supercharged V6, ABS...
2001-08-16 05:40:26 PM  
Spurt: true, 270hp at the motor isn't 270 at the wheels. My A6 is not my race car, its the car I use to go back and forth to Long Island and Connecticut with. I just felt it needed more punch therefore all the mods. The car I use if I want my thrills is a 1990 Audi 90 Quattro 20 Valve. Very rare car, mine pushes 225 hp *at the wheels* and its again- all wheel drive. Took her to 157, then I eased off (girlfriend had eyes closed and was whining... sigh..

ill definitely agree your Nova is one biatchin ride. Electronic turbo timers and boost controllers aside, pure raw horsepower is what the game is all about. My Uncle has a 67 Chevelle. its viscious. M22 stonecrusher, bored out 427, the works. but the thing don't turn worth'a crap.

Todd: Typhoons were awesome. I see them selling in Hemmings Motor News for 15k even today. rare trucks.
2001-08-16 05:43:23 PM  
Big: sounds like a nice 'Vette. my friends 'Birds are totally stock basically, you'd have no problem. Falken Ziex tires are really good tires, I used Falkens on a Honda project car I had a couple years back. I run Pirelli P4000's on my A6 (except for winter, i use Blizzaks), but on my other Audi, the one I use for speed, I use strictly Dunlop SP9000's. sticky as a cheap whore after a good nites work.
2001-08-16 05:59:49 PM  
Sounds like a helluva tough idea for a Dunlop commercial. The possibilities would be almost endless. :)

[image from too old to be available]

Unfortunately, this is not the best picture, but it's the only I can seem to find at the moment. We are admittedly Chevy heads. :) You can see a little bit of the 57 chevy as well.

- Big
2001-08-16 06:33:04 PM  
Thepostaftermeisgay: the nicest thing about Ford Taurus SHO is that one can pump it up until it screams, yet cops will still not zero you as a bad boy and come after you. It is the 'Antirice'.
2001-08-16 06:41:08 PM  
Type R your Jenna?

Oh...your Jetta
2001-08-16 06:51:39 PM  
2001-08-16 06:52:11 PM  
You guys talking about "sleeper" cars reminded me of this guy, who races his minivan. The page has pics of him beating considerably sportier cars.. :)

[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-16 07:08:29 PM  
I'll bet he's got 4 engines in the back...strapped into baby seats, of course.
2001-08-16 07:32:47 PM  
I dont mock the R-types, if you have a true R-type then you know how much power they pump out of them. I've seen the new S-type and i completly plan on that being my next car.
And my dick is huge, but my car is a piece of shiat. Whats the deal?
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