Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Telegraph)   "Lucky that my breasts are small and humble, so you don't confuse them with mountains" is only No. 8 on the worst lyrics list. It gets worse, I'm serious as cancer   ( telegraph.co.uk) divider line
    More: Amusing  
•       •       •

12516 clicks; posted to Music » on 09 Jul 2008 at 10:20 AM (9 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



276 Comments     (+0 »)
 


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all

 
2008-07-09 08:24:34 AM  
Any lyric from The Shaggs tops anything on this list. Anything at all.
 
2008-07-09 08:26:05 AM  
Any lyric from Rush should top that. Even if you don't choose you still have made a choice? STFU.
 
2008-07-09 08:29:49 AM  
What about Duran Duran? Example: "Don't say you're easy on me - you're about as easy as a nuclear war." (From Is There Something I Should Know?)
 
2008-07-09 08:30:22 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Even if you don't choose you still have made a choice?

That would be "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice." In the song's context, it protests the notion that you are limited to a finite set of choices as defined by other people.
 
ZAZ [TotalFark]
2008-07-09 08:36:12 AM  
Isn't MacArthur Park supposed to top these lists?
 
2008-07-09 08:48:50 AM  
There was some rapper, Shyne I think...

I got a question
As serious as canc-uh
Where da f*ckin safe at
Somebody betta ans-uh!
 
2008-07-09 08:57:08 AM  
"I gave my love a chicken, that had no bone..." mysteriously absent.
 
2008-07-09 08:58:00 AM  
Outtaphase:That would be "If you choose not to decide you still have made a choice." In the song's context, it protests the notion that you are limited to a finite set of choices as defined by other people.

Dude, don't try and defend Rush. That is still the lamest song ever.
 
2008-07-09 09:14:21 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Dude, don't try and defend Rush. That is still the lamest song ever.

Thank God for Rush, because it stuffs all their fans into a tiny intellectual box and shuts them up so I don't have to hear them think. Please keep the box shut.
 
2008-07-09 09:31:14 AM  
I've traced back the "serious as cancer" line as far back as Eric B & Rakim's "I Ain't No Joke" back in '86.

"I've got a question
as serious as cancer
Who can keep the average dancer
hyper as a heart attack? Nobody's smilin'
'cuz he's expressin' the rhymes that I'm stylin'."
 
2008-07-09 09:32:24 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Dude, don't try and defend Rush. That is still the lamest song ever.

I'll do what I want, 'cause I'm choosing free will!
 
2008-07-09 09:37:46 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Any lyric from Rush should top that. Even if you don't choose you still have made a choice? STFU.

That's what I came in here to say. I think "Spirit of Radio" is the worst though.

But you just can't reason with Rush fans.
 
2008-07-09 09:39:13 AM  
5. I love you like a fat kid love cake - 21 Questions, 50 Cent

This is an awesome lyric and should be replaced with anything by Rush.
 
2008-07-09 09:40:33 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Dude, don't try and defend Rush. That is still the lamest song ever.

Not enough of a fan to defend them across the board. I probably like less than half of what they've done, and outright loathe quite a bit.

Admittedly the solo in Free Will is what draws me, but worst lyrics ever? I couldn't name one Dio song that wouldn't make the list in front of that. eh, to each his own.
 
2008-07-09 09:46:23 AM  
"Lucky that my breasts are small and humble"

I'd marry any girl that said that to me.
 
2008-07-09 09:47:04 AM  
Seger get my vote for worst use of simile in a song:

Like a rock. standin arrow straight
Like a rock, chargin from the gate
Like a rock, carryin the weight
Like a rock
 
2008-07-09 10:04:02 AM  
Girl you're a hot-blooded woman-child
And it's warm where you're touching me.
 
2008-07-09 10:21:31 AM  
I would agree with the list but I hope:

Eddie waited till he finished high school
He went to hollywood, got a tattoo
He met a girl out there with a tattoo too

Was considered.
 
2008-07-09 10:27:04 AM  
I like, "I love you like a fat kid love cake", it's cute.
 
2008-07-09 10:28:57 AM  
Funny list.

The 50 Cent thing was done on purpose though. The next line is something about how he always tries to make her laugh.
 
2008-07-09 10:29:14 AM  
Abra-abracadabra / I wanna reach out and grab ya

The worst there ever was, and the worst there ever will be.
 
2008-07-09 10:30:20 AM  
Anything by Black Eyed Peas
 
2008-07-09 10:30:21 AM  
Control_this:Thank God for Rush, because it stuffs all their fans into a tiny intellectual box and shuts them up so I don't have to hear them think. Please keep the box shut.

Fellows:I'll do what I want, 'cause I'm choosing free will!

I love you guys.

Outtaphase:Not enough of a fan to defend them across the board. I probably like less than half of what they've done, and outright loathe quite a bit.

Admittedly the solo in Free Will is what draws me, but worst lyrics ever? I couldn't name one Dio song that wouldn't make the list in front of that. eh, to each his own.


Ok, I will admit that musically they are alright but that guys voice makes me want to punch babies and anally rape retarded grandmas.

Dio sucks too. I said it, there.
 
2008-07-09 10:32:24 AM  
OK, I know this is really really lame but the worst lyric I ever heard was from the theme to a kids cartoon called "The Bernstein Bears"

...
They are kind of furry around the torso
They are alot like people only more so


I mean WTF. Bears are only furry around the torso? WTF. They are alot like people but only more like them than even they are? Seriously WTF.

I have two kids so I have no choice to watch this crappy kid shows. Bernstien Bears is farking worse kid show out there.

/Lyric from Might Machines kid show. Close second.

"You can watch them all day and not know why there mighty machines."

WTF. You don't know why there might machines or you don't know why you've been watching them all day.
 
2008-07-09 10:32:36 AM  
What about Real Talk by R Kelly? I can't pick out a specific lyrics as the entire song is probably the dumbest crap I ever had the displeasure of listening to.
 
2008-07-09 10:32:38 AM  
One of the best lines:

I will show you how to take me - go down go down

Independent Love Song - Scarlet
 
2008-07-09 10:32:50 AM  
Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer? - Shake Ya Tailfeather, Nelly, P Diddy and Murphy Lee

Oh God. I had forgotten this one.

/just take that ass to the floor
 
2008-07-09 10:32:59 AM  
- that "catch the spit" line from "Tom Sawyer"

- virtually all the lyrics/stanzas of "Ladies of the Road" by King Crimson. tsk tsk Sinfield.... prog. rock lyricists should not try and write 'sex lyrics' or 'sexy lyrics' or whatever.
[also potentially see "Counting out Time" by Genesis... although that one is actually pretty clever...]

- and these two stanza's from "Rock Lobster"
We were at a party
His ear lobe fell in the deep
Someone reached in and grabbed it
It was a rock lobster

We were at the beach
Everybody had matching towels
Somebody went under a dock
And there they saw a rock
It wasn't a rock
It was a rock lobster
 
2008-07-09 10:33:39 AM  
Comma-comma-comma-chameleoooon
Red, gold and greeeen
Red, gold and greeee-eeeeeeeen!
 
2008-07-09 10:34:32 AM  
Occam's Chainsaw:Abra-abracadabra / I wanna reach out and grab ya

The worst there ever was, and the worst there ever will be.


More Steve Miller fun:

We've been workin' so hard
We've been workin' so hard
Come on baby
Come on baby let's dance
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on
Come on, come on, come on

/hate
 
2008-07-09 10:34:47 AM  
It's easier to separate out the lyrics that are any good.
 
2008-07-09 10:36:04 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Any lyric from Rush should top that. Even if you don't choose you still have made a choice? STFU.

Amen, brother.
Rush blows. I almost throw out my rotator cuff in my frantic desire to make the radio stop whenever a Rush song is played.
 
2008-07-09 10:36:04 AM  
Yeah, Thong Song immediately came to mind when I saw the link. Not a bad list, as far as top 10s go.

/do like the last half of that video though
//fluorescent giggity
 
2008-07-09 10:38:43 AM  
Gwen Stefanie, Black Eyed Peas, Fall Out Boi, (I know I'll get flamed for this but) Led Zepplin all have horrid lyrics. Granted the last one on the list kicks ass musically, but for me lyrics and make or break a song and I cringe at all of these.
 
2008-07-09 10:39:21 AM  
Alcohol is your yoga, baby.
 
2008-07-09 10:41:10 AM  
How was "Let's Get Rocked" by Def Leppard not on there?

I'm your average, ordinary, everyday dude
Drivin' with my baby, To get her in the mood
She's dialin'through my radio and I'm ready to make my move,
But what she got ain't rock'n'roll and it really blew my groove

It was - Chopin, Mozart, Beethoven
It makes me wanna scream - Bach, Tchaikovsky, violins
Turn it off! - That ain't my scene
Well I'm sorry girl, here's my confession
I suppose a rock's out of the question?


/no, i didn't know them from heart.
 
2008-07-09 10:41:59 AM  
Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
you know he knows just exactly what the facts is
 
2008-07-09 10:42:03 AM  
Apparently, according to this list there were no bad lyrics pre-1980. I beg to differ.


fark, now I have some insipid Rush song stuck in my head. Something about Huckleberry Finn or some shiat.
 
2008-07-09 10:42:12 AM  
You know, I feel so dirty
When they start talking cute
I wanna tell her that I love her,
But the point is probably moot
 
2008-07-09 10:43:00 AM  
To the extreme, I rock the mic like a vandal, light up the stage n' wax a chump like a candle.
 
2008-07-09 10:43:09 AM  
Aaaaa-aaaaaa-aaaaaaaaaaaa... AFTERNOON DELIGHT
 
2008-07-09 10:43:23 AM  
NittLion78:5. I love you like a fat kid love cake - 21 Questions, 50 Cent

This is an awesome lyric and should be replaced with anything by Rush.


Seconded.
 
2008-07-09 10:43:34 AM  
Tat'dGreaser:Ok, I will admit that musically they are alright but that guys voice makes me want to punch babies and anally rape retarded grandmas.

For a second, you sounded like MooseyFate describing what he'd do to some famous chick!

And make sure you wrap that rascal before any fun there Greaser
 
2008-07-09 10:44:19 AM  
Something grabs a hold of me tightly
Flow like a harpoon daily and nightly
 
2008-07-09 10:44:39 AM  
Denny Blaze would like a word with the author
 
2008-07-09 10:46:28 AM  
I never knew that they said "Is that yo ass, or yo mama half reindeer?" in that Nelly song. I thought they said ".. or yo mama half pregnant?" For what it's worth, it makes slightly more sense now. The song still sucks, though. Almost as much the list itself. I'm pretty sure there is considerably worse lyrics from the even from the people listed. For instance: No mention of Avril Lavigne's Girlfriend song.
 
2008-07-09 10:48:32 AM  
Stupid Floppy Clownshoes:Billy Mack is a detective down in Texas
you know he knows just exactly what the facts is


Feel like I'm livin' under some kind of hex
Livin' in here in this industrial military complex

/bad Steve Miller is bad
 
2008-07-09 10:49:38 AM  
5. I love you like a fat kid love cake - 21 Questions, 50 Cent

This has no business being on the list
I'd like to show the author my fist
He could have come up with a better answer
I'm as serious as cancer
 
2008-07-09 10:49:50 AM  
This list is ridiculous, most of these arent even close to top 10 material. What about Soulja Boy, that song alone could occupy spots #1-5 , or the classic "innagaddavida" which is also pure giberish.

My personal vote for worst lyric of all time goes to 2live Crew for this one :

I saw this b**ch walking down the block
Singing doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo
Between her legs she had a big red spot
Doo wah diddy diddy dum diddy doo
Was it c*m? (was it c*m?)
Was it blood? (was it blood?)
My ni**a (my ni**a)
My ni**a, I don't know what the f**k it was

Other personal favorites from the history of miami rap are THIS and THIS (pops not rick rolls)


/ Someone left the cake out in the rain?
 
2008-07-09 10:50:18 AM  
My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo
I want to sink her with my pink torpedo

(Best. Lyric. Ever.)
 
Displayed 50 of 276 comments


Oldest | « | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | » | Newest | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking

On Twitter





Top Commented
Javascript is required to view headlines in widget.
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report