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(We B Toys)   Five toys from the 80s that would be causing non-stop lawsuits in the 00s with injuries to the world's current frail group of obese precious snowflakes   (deuceofdavenport.com) divider line 607
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73031 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2008 at 7:27 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-06-24 10:29:53 PM  
You couldn't get my off my BigWheel when I was a kid, I loved that thing.

Lincoln Logs were awesome too. Fark, I couldn't even remember half the toys I used to have unless I thought about it. After my Dad taught me how to make Bow and Arrows I was set, till I got my BB gun. Then there was the mountain bike, but, I still play with those.

So much funs.
 
2008-06-24 10:31:39 PM  
www.samstoybox.com


"ding"
 
2008-06-24 10:35:08 PM  
ciocia: You know, I'm bone weary of the whole, "precious little overprotected snowflakes" meme. The common thread is: "we had moms who smoked, and lawn darts, etc. etc., and we survived, so there." Guess what? The "overprotection" kids have now has helped more of them grow up. True story. The rate of child mortality by unintentional injuries for kids 5-14 in 2004 was 6.5 per 100,000. In 1980, it was 15 per 100,000, or more than twice as much. Link (new window) Yeah, teaching kids to be tough is part of raising them. So is getting them to not die before then.


pssh you sound like a pussy. :D
 
2008-06-24 10:37:35 PM  
 
2008-06-24 10:37:57 PM  
Dr_Bojangles: The key on the left was loosen the nut under the skate to make it longer or shorter to fit your shoe. We used to take one skate apart and nail the two halves to the front and back of a 2x4 for a homemade skateboard.

Going downhill on a Baltimore City street with those metal wheels separated the men from the boys. When those metal wheels hit the smallest of stones, it would stop the skateboard on a dime. Unfortunately you would still traveling at twice the speed of spit - and that's how I learned the meaning of Road Rash.


I remember those. When the bearings would start to rust they would make a screeeee noise every time you skated. Screee ScreeeScreeeScreeeScreeeScreee
 
2008-06-24 10:39:55 PM  
I still have scars from when I was riding my huffy bike down a hill and the chain came off = only way to stop was feet to the pavement, or hitting something.

Nice little Y shaped scar on the palm of my hand from some glass I found during the crash. The scars on my leg did mostly fade however.
 
2008-06-24 10:40:01 PM  
bPrize: alahop:

This?


Close, but take the ropes off and make them solid metal rods, put a wooden seat around the bottom edge and a inner metal ring. The whole cone rotated freely on the pole. You were supposed to make it go around but not crash it into the pole. But we did.
 
2008-06-24 10:40:50 PM  
Here are those precious snowflakes playing with the nice safe toys of today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4xRPfgcbs4 (new window -- maybe a little NSFW)
 
2008-06-24 10:41:12 PM  
darkmayo: ciocia: You know, I'm bone weary of the whole, "precious little overprotected snowflakes" meme. The common thread is: "we had moms who smoked, and lawn darts, etc. etc., and we survived, so there." Guess what? The "overprotection" kids have now has helped more of them grow up. True story. The rate of child mortality by unintentional injuries for kids 5-14 in 2004 was 6.5 per 100,000. In 1980, it was 15 per 100,000, or more than twice as much. Link (new window) Yeah, teaching kids to be tough is part of raising them. So is getting them to not die before then.


pssh you sound like a pussy. :D


Me, a pussy? When I was a kid, I beat up Chuck Norris for his lunch money.
 
2008-06-24 10:41:37 PM  
Dennis_Moore: "ding"

I think I love you.

A few months ago, I searched my dad's attic from one end to the other looking for that thing.

Never found it.

*sniff* :(
 
2008-06-24 10:41:58 PM  
BigG: It was that kind of slatted wood, but the center came up in a pyramid shape, with those same kind of wooden slats. And you could sit facing inward around the perimeter.

Heres the only thing with a similar seating arrangement I could find. Sadly it was turned into a non functional piece of sculpture with am honorary historical plaqueafter 75 years of good service because people have changed somehow and it isnt safe enough for modern snowflakes.

Poor old merry fo round (new window)
 
2008-06-24 10:42:25 PM  
OK, one more pic. It was like this, but picture the colored wood mounted on the metal framework in the middle where the kids are and the bottom edge even with the seat and a gap in there for your legs.

img146.imageshack.us

And now that I think about it more, the benches were green, not natural wood.
 
2008-06-24 10:42:27 PM  
I played with quicksilver, had a .22 at age 12, had a Honda 175cc at age 13 and made black powder bombs. Look at me now, I turned out just fine.

*crickets*
 
2008-06-24 10:43:29 PM  
BigG: Fireproof: So do any other children of the 80s/90s remember something vaguely like this:

We had this thing, that looked sorta like this without the burger head:



Picture a 6 sided pyramid surrounded with a bench with a gap for your legs so you could sit facing in or out. Maybe 7-8' diameter. Or on top with your feet on the bench or grabrail. All made of heavy wood with a heavy metal frame. However at our playground you could also go under where there were 4" I-beams holding it all together. So you could also sit under there, exposed to the rough cement plug that the center post was sunk into.

We'd get 6 kids under there to power the thing and it would really get moving.

Of course if you happened to fall while doing so you had the option of being trampled or taking a beam to the back of your head. Both happened with some frequency.

The more I think about it the more my childhood involved cracking my skull off various pieces of playground equipment.

If someone knows the name of the merry-go-ground/carousel thing I'm talking about I'd like to see a real picture.


that was at some McDonald's in the late 70's, early 80's. It was dangerous as I remember almost breaking my arm because I had fallen off and my arm got caught underneath it.
 
2008-06-24 10:43:47 PM  
Let's see.... I didn't grow up THAT long ago (mid-late 80's) but I had some crazy stuff. Jarts, of course. I don't know if they were banned in Canada.

I had a chemistry set. Not terribly dangerous, but I can't see kids being allowed to play with such a thing today. I was allowed to play with power tools my whole life, and sometimes I had to when my dad needed help with something. It was normal for me at a very young age to help out with lots of really dangerous stuff.

My dad was constantly bringing me fireworks to play with. I think he was secretly trying to off me. I got a motorcycle for my 8th birthday (and 10th and 11th and so on...)

One time, my friend and I got tired of putting baseball cards in the spokes of our bicycles, so we took one and mounted a gas lawnmower engine inside the frame, sideways. It worked - we made a motorcycle. I was 11 and he was 12 or 13. We rode it around our neighbourhood without helmets or any cares at all.

Another friend actually made a car with essentially scrap parts. It was basically an old mini Cooper, but it had no interior. Nothing. Neither of us had licenses, and the car didn't have seatbelts, just two boxes to sit on. You held on to what you could, because that thing could fly!

We also had a game where we would set up a ramp to jump our bikes or skateboards off. But of course, that wasn't dangerous enough, we had to up the ante. So we would pound 6" nails through a piece of scrap wood, turn it upside down, and see how far we could jump over the spikes on our bikes/skateboards. When there are real stakes on the line, you tend to perform pretty well, I found out.

The only thing that really injured me happened when I was five. My next door neighbour had a metal slide and a kiddie pool. We were unsupervised and decided to make a waterslide. Next to some flagstones that were holding together a garden. I went down the slide, hit the end of the pool and flipped over, head first into the flagstones. I lost a tremendous amount of blood and had to get stitches at the hospital without anaesthetic. Good times.

There's definitely more, but it's dinner time. Upon reflecting, I've suddenly realized what a redneck greasemonkey I am.
 
2008-06-24 10:45:06 PM  
NOT AMUSED:

www.pwn3d.us

My daughter still uses her Easy-Bake oven, even after the recall and everything. Just because someone's precious snowflake angel stuffed their mitts into the mouth of the oven does not mean I will deny my daughter the joy of making her daddy delicious treats, sweet cakey treasures, piping hot from their 40 watt WOMB!!! But the secret ingredient is LOVE, DAMNIT.

More on the subject, including a testimonial from a parent of one of those retard snowflake angel babies. (linkypoppy)

/obscure?
//I don't farking think so.
///Do you want the mustache on or off? Too bad.
 
2008-06-24 10:45:53 PM  
mikaloyd: Heres the only thing with a similar seating arrangement I could find.

I appreciate the effort, now it's driving me farking batshiat. I will find a picture. Thanks.
 
2008-06-24 10:45:54 PM  
mesohorny: those spy tech kits were the shiat. Yeah i was a creepy kid.

I had massive amounts of Spy Tech junk. My best friend and I thought we were bad asses, wearing those sunglasses with the built in mirrors so we could see behind ourselves and getting that fingerprinting dust every-farkin'-where.

That was what I wanted to be when I grew up...a spy.
 
2008-06-24 10:45:56 PM  
NYZooMan: ...I think some kids pitched

Looking back, I guess Pitching Cards could be considered entry level because we moved onto... OMG!! Pitching Coins!!! As you got older, you worked your way up through pennies, nickels, quarters.

There was no hiding the fact that you were a budding gangsta because all your freaking pocket change was chewed up on the edges.

13 years old running around trying to launder my damn coins before my father saw it.
 
2008-06-24 10:46:00 PM  
BigG: And now that I think about it more, the benches were green, not natural wood.

I remember those

I also remember similar ones that you sat on and there was a lever you moved back and forth that would keep it spinning. Actually were four levers on it, and if you got three kids to join in, you could go seriously fast.
 
2008-06-24 10:46:54 PM  
Sit-n-Spin: o.k., just dizzy.
Stand-n-Spin: NOT o.k!
(Concussion from breaking the coffee table with my head.)
 
2008-06-24 10:47:28 PM  
Yeah it's all "precious snowflakes" and "overprotective asshat parents" and "my childhood was better because of jarts" until it's YOUR kid in the ER with a 6-inch spike half an inch from his heart.
 
2008-06-24 10:48:11 PM  
This is one for the Chicago area people of the earl/mid 80s. There was a Mcdonalds, that had an indoor playland with the most awesome stuff. It was basically an indoor playground with McDonalds themed stuff. But it was all good outdoro playground type stuff. I can't for the life of me remember where it was, of course been over 20 years since I last went there.

Anyone else remember it?
 
2008-06-24 10:48:38 PM  
farm1.static.flickr.comBiloxi, MS McDonald's. 1970's.
 
2008-06-24 10:49:05 PM  
Batewoman: Yeah it's all "precious snowflakes" and "overprotective asshat parents" and "my childhood was better because of jarts" until it's YOUR kid in the ER with a 6-inch spike half an inch from his heart.

It's all fun and games 'till someone loses and eye.

Then it's ping-pong.
 
2008-06-24 10:50:02 PM  
you_idiot: Also, when I was like 7-10, I'd just tell my parents I was going out, hop on my bicycle and roam the neighbourhood seeing who was home. We'd just knock on a friend's door and either go inside, or go to the playground. Our parents never knew where we were until we came home. (Generally when it was dinner time and all the other kids went home to eat, about 6 O'Clock or so I guess)But maybe that's just living in small suburban neighbourhood in Canada in the 70's, I dunno.

Brecksville OH just out of Cleveland. Same thing after dinner: "Mom, I'm heading out to friends houses" Then just ride my Stu Thomson BMX bike all over suburbia till the sun got low.

To this day the wife asks, "Where are you riding today?"
me: "I dunno. North. Far."

/aspiring Cat 3 in SoCal
 
2008-06-24 10:50:09 PM  
WhyteRaven74: This is one for the Chicago area people of the earl/mid 80s. There was a Mcdonalds, that had an indoor playland with the most awesome stuff. It was basically an indoor playground with McDonalds themed stuff. But it was all good outdoro playground type stuff. I can't for the life of me remember where it was, of course been over 20 years since I last went there.

Anyone else remember it?


I remember falling out of the spinning hamburger and smacking my head off the nice concrete pad they laid for it.
 
2008-06-24 10:50:13 PM  
Dennis_Moore: "ding"

Holy shait I loved that toy! Much win for you!
 
2008-06-24 10:50:34 PM  
dirkus_maximus:
It's all fun and games 'till someone loses an eye.

Then it's ping-pong.


/FTFM
//not as funny when you have to correct yourself.
 
2008-06-24 10:50:45 PM  
Dr_Bojangles: NYZooMan: Maybe in Baltimore you pitched cards, but in Queens we flipped. Elston Howard face up on top for the WIN!

Wait, wait... I'm pulling this shiat out of the nooks and crannies of what's left of my brain.

"A Leaner" was the WIN because you couldn't get a card farther up the terrace than a card that was leaning against the wall [backstop]. Unless, of course, someone knocked the leaner down and ended up farther ahead or topping the knocked down card.

Another leaner resulted in a tie.

\ Whew! I gotta go lay down now.


Yeah, that was pitching. Usually a backhand sideways toss toward the wall or stoop*.
Flipping was thumb-fingers (on long sides of card) card drop from waist height down to flat ground. Once you had a good flip technique you could land face up or face down at will with a rapid snap action. You had to land on top of the first card with the right face to win.

*and don't forget stoopball!
 
2008-06-24 10:51:05 PM  
mikaloyd: ncjason: I have a pogo ball in its original box in the basement. I used it once and about broke my leg. I wonder what I could get for it on ebay?

Your leg or your ball?


What about a new keyboard on e-bay, mikaloyd, 'cause you now owe me one.
 
2008-06-24 10:52:11 PM  
TheKnownUniverse: I broke my wrist when I was 8 because for some reason I decided to Sit n Spin on a bookshelf. Good times.

Holy crap, I think I wet my pants. Thank god I wasn't drinking anything or you might owe me a new house.

Nothing listed beats anything like coaster brakes on a freshly-laid gravel road. We cried whilst picking pieces of gravel out of our knees, wiped our eyes and went back to the top of the hill. Did we learn anything? Of course not.
 
2008-06-24 10:52:12 PM  
Alien Robot: Here are those precious snowflakes playing with the nice safe toys of today.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h4xRPfgcbs4 (new window -- maybe a little NSFW)


Srsly, do teenage boys have no farking brain at all?? Do you not know that the firey stuff that shoots out the back of those things as they take off is HOT?!

"Tuck your sack up, dude!" Like that'll help. Yeesh!!

/glad my crotchfruit all have teh double X.
 
2008-06-24 10:52:14 PM  
Batewoman: Yeah it's all "precious snowflakes" and "overprotective asshat parents" and "my childhood was better because of jarts" until it's YOUR kid in the ER with a 6-inch spike half an inch from his heart.

And those farkers have to save their energy to condemn parents whose kids get hurt/killed doing things they DON'T approve of. Cause those parents are negligent.
 
2008-06-24 10:52:57 PM  
In no particular order my favs:

Rifle that you cocked and fired but if you stuck the barrel in the ground and picked up a muzzle load of dirt the thing would look like smoke when you fired it.

Steel roller skates.

Plastic skateboard with plastic wheels.

Big Wheel!

Evil Kneivel bicycle with hard plastic tires and I never wore a helmet as a child, ever.

Wrist rockets (Fancy sling shots).

Dirt clod fights!

Model rocket fights.

Smear the queer.

AFX slot cars. Once attached my IG-88 action figure to a car, poured rubbing alcohol on it and raced it twice around a small track ON FIRE.

Big rocket playground structure.

Stupid plane that had a battery powered propeller but you had to swing around in circles until you hit a friend or fell down.

Matches, magnifying glasses and soldering guns - about anything you could burn stuff with.

If it could get you hurt I was probably into it.
 
2008-06-24 10:52:57 PM  
Zalan: I still have scars from when I was riding my huffy bike down a hill and the chain came off...

Yep! I have a four inch scar on my right calf.

To get a running start (Lone Ranger style) you put your left foot on the left pedal, push/hop three or four steps and throw your right leg over the banana seat . The scar is from the time I dragged my calf across my license plate.

\ Yeah, you used to have to have a license displayed on your bike
 
2008-06-24 10:55:43 PM  
ciocia: Batewoman: Yeah it's all "precious snowflakes" and "overprotective asshat parents" and "my childhood was better because of jarts" until it's YOUR kid in the ER with a 6-inch spike half an inch from his heart.

And those farkers have to save their energy to condemn parents whose kids get hurt/killed doing things they DON'T approve of. Cause those parents are negligent.


I can see the lame-ass Darwin headlines now.

Tuesday: [stupid] parents ban jarts to wussify precious little snowflakes

Wednesday: [dumbass] if you're stupid enough to give a couple of kids jarts to play with and they die, maybe that's Darwin relieving the world of your genepool
 
2008-06-24 10:57:09 PM  
i.ytimg.com
Behold the Merry Go Round of Death!
(new window)

Not sure what happened to the girls who got thrown at alarming velocities.
 
2008-06-24 10:57:48 PM  
namegoeshere: Do you not know that the firey stuff that shoots out the back of those things as they take off is HOT?!

I think he clenched up a little too much.
 
2008-06-24 10:57:52 PM  
wookiemonster: Biloxi, MS McDonald's. 1970's.

dude, that's the stuff that the McDonalds I was talking about had, except it was indoors.

bPrize: I remember falling out of the spinning hamburger and smacking my head off the nice concrete pad they laid for it.

bet that made you grimace

/so so sorry ;)
 
2008-06-24 10:59:30 PM  
NYZooMan: *and don't forget stoopball!

Curb Ball here in B'more.

And then there was block tennis. Sorta like handball, but you gathered around a square on the sidewalk and the ball had to land inside that square.

\ Jesus!! We didn't have many toys, did we???
 
2008-06-24 10:59:53 PM  
www.smh.com.au
 
2008-06-24 11:00:04 PM  
Dr_Bojangles: Zalan: I still have scars from when I was riding my huffy bike down a hill and the chain came off...

Yep! I have a four inch scar on my right calf.

To get a running start (Lone Ranger style) you put your left foot on the left pedal, push/hop three or four steps and throw your right leg over the banana seat . The scar is from the time I dragged my calf across my license plate.

\ Yeah, you used to have to have a license displayed on your bike


theimaginaryworld.com
Honeycomb's big...Yeah Yeah Yeah
 
2008-06-24 11:00:42 PM  
Oznog: Behold the Merry Go Round of Death! (new window)

Not sure what happened to the girls who got thrown at alarming velocities.


Yeah, see, here's the line between "precious snowflakes with helicopter parents" and "Darwin wins again" headlines.

Merry-go-round being used normally? Perfectly fine, helicopter parents and nanny-state bans need to GTFO.

Merry-go-round powered by a gas engine at ludicrous speed? Welcome to Darwin country. Hold my beer.
 
2008-06-24 11:01:34 PM  
The sad thing is that it is the people who had these cool things when they were kids who are now grown up and protecting their snowflakes from the dangers of the same fun toys they had.

Kids aren't pussies. Their parents who grew up in the 80s are the pussies.
 
2008-06-24 11:01:39 PM  
Alien Robot: namegoeshere: Do you not know that the firey stuff that shoots out the back of those things as they take off is HOT?!

I think he clenched up a little too much.


You say that with the voice of waaaaaaaaaaay too much experience.
 
2008-06-24 11:02:22 PM  
Dr_Bojangles: NYZooMan: ...I think some kids pitched

Looking back, I guess Pitching Cards could be considered entry level because we moved onto... OMG!! Pitching Coins!!! As you got older, you worked your way up through pennies, nickels, quarters.

There was no hiding the fact that you were a budding gangsta because all your freaking pocket change was chewed up on the edges.

13 years old running around trying to launder my damn coins before my father saw it.


HAHA!

We moved to the country before I got in that deep (11). Nobody out there knew what any of this stuff was. Baseball cards went in bike spokes and that was it. But I got to discover streets that weren't in a grid.
 
2008-06-24 11:03:07 PM  
I'm a product of the 60's and 70's. Try these on for size: lawn darts (of course), Creepy Crawlers, Marvel the Mustang, Daisy BB Guns,Evel Kenevel+ Orange Crate+ a tire, a couple of boards+ an impressive collection of Match box cars+ a recipe for disaster, real model airplane glue and Airplane dope (testers), and the list goes on.... I can honestly say I never ended up in the hospital mangled from over shooting a jump in a glue huffing induced coma. Yeah we were pretty stupid then too, but we managed to get by.

Kids today have it a lot tougher though and here's why:

Amber Alerts. A constant reminder of the 'dangers' out there lurking behind every bush.

Nancy Grace and the media. More fuel for parental paranoia.

The internet- ya gotta follow the logic on this one with me.

*flash back* One of the things that allowed us to live and thrive so dangerously as kids was our Freedom.Our parents were dropping us off everywhere: carnivals, church, libraries, even the Mall. We came and went as we pleased, sometimes checking in via coin opped telephones (if we still had the money). There were real dangers of course:traffic, rivers, bullies and getting lost. And clowns, puppet shows and perverts. Clowns and puppet shows were for obvious reasons:a fella's reputation could get hurt if someone saw you enjoying such sissy entertainment. Perverts? not so sure on that one. There was never a universal definition other then he liked to show his privates and may want to fondle yours...Innoculous by today's standards, but a character to be avoided.

*shifts back to today* The Internet. Thanks to the Internet, today's pervert has become a more socially accepted persona rather then that dark creature that once lurked under the bridge and down dark alleys.Before the advent of the internet, perverts were solitary, keeping their dark secrets tand longings to themselves out of fear of good ol' fashion street justice (an ass kickin' before a visit to the county jail) and for the most part limited the expression of their desires to flashing and running away- much simpler times. Today's pervert has found accceptance, thanks to groups like NAMBLO and the ACLU. Sexual deviants probably rank higher in social status then mimes and Republican politicians. Would you believe there are actually sites where child molestation seems to be a running gag where adults will joke about whether or not some teen was hittable by their teacher and how it was the victim's fault for spilling the beans. Hell, some contributers would go so far as to say they would have kept mum and enjoyed their 'extra carricular' activities with teacher.

yup, a pervert can feel pretty comfortable in today's environment: legal protection from a government sponsored agency, ligitimization in groups like NAMBLO, and public acceptance in the chatswhere they have found that there are many others out there that share and even encourage their 'tastes'.

For those reasons, my kids will not know the pleasure of wading around in leech filled ponds catching turtles and frogs, bb gun fights, unsupervised expirimentation with fireworks, exploring abandoned buildings, and making campfires in the woods. Why? Cause I'll be there accidentally correcting them living and growing up, when what I was really there for was to make sure some asshat didn't get too comfortable with his new found social status and rape one of my kids.

*actually sheds a tear*

/Goodbye to innocence
//Welcome to my nightmare
 
2008-06-24 11:03:44 PM  
//all noodly-legged from the first ride on my old fixed gear in 4 years, so I'm getting a kick out of these messages....
 
2008-06-24 11:04:25 PM  
pics.livejournal.com

Just a hint for everybody, so you learn from my mistake.

If you ever need to google "Don't whiz on the electric fence", turn on safe search. k?... K.
 
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