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(We B Toys)   Five toys from the 80s that would be causing non-stop lawsuits in the 00s with injuries to the world's current frail group of obese precious snowflakes   (deuceofdavenport.com) divider line 607
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73024 clicks; posted to Main » on 24 Jun 2008 at 7:27 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-06-24 09:49:44 PM  
mikaloyd: Did anybody else have a Star Trek tracer gun as a kid?

Did anybody else load it with pennies instead of plastic discs?


Yes...and yes! I LOVED my Star Trek gun.
 
2008-06-24 09:50:22 PM  
namegoeshere: "You'll shoot yer eye out!"

That wo0uld be OK compared to breaking one of my moms glasses.(Which she got free at Richfield with a 10 gallon or more fillup) That was trouble.
 
2008-06-24 09:50:44 PM  
OK, I'm late to the party here, but this "precious snowflake" business is really freaking stupid -- mainly because I recall when I was a kid how we were told how "easy" we had it. So unless you have your own "precious snowflake," I'd suggest y'all just STFU.

/My kid plays with a sit-and-spin at day care, and they're still widely available
//My 12-year-old nephew is more heavily armed than the Chinese mafia
///My kid also plays with Teddy Chainsawbear
 
2008-06-24 09:54:05 PM  
We used to just whack on each other with wooden swords.

/when we weren't setting things on fire
//or blowing things up
 
2008-06-24 09:54:12 PM  
After reading this, I'm ready to start an underground Jart club.

/suck it CPSC
 
2008-06-24 09:54:32 PM  
mikaloyd: namegoeshere: "You'll shoot yer eye out!"

That wo0uld be OK compared to breaking one of my moms glasses.(Which she got free at Richfield with a 10 gallon or more fillup) That was trouble.


Little square garage windows. Ten of them. Suckers practically broke themselves.

Back then, dads beat kids butts, too.
 
2008-06-24 09:54:40 PM  
But mostly we just rode bikes.
 
2008-06-24 09:54:54 PM  
Hazwaste63: mikaloyd: rewind2846: Morton_toes
Totally forgot about that. We also had cars called SST's that had a ripcord and a weighted flywheel that worked kinda' the same way. They were sharp as hell, as I recall.

SSP by Kenner toys... I had this one, and the blue rocket one...

I always wanted the smash up derby set. Never got it still remember most of the song though.

Smash bang crack em up
Put em back again
Smash bang crash em up
Its bash up time my friend
Now here is Kenner's SSP
Smash up derby set
And you can hoot and holler
Cuz you aint seen nothin yet.

I had a day-glo green pointy one that I broke the rip cord to so it was only half as long. I had to borrow somebody else's to get my car to go fast after that.

This was the one I had, but in day-glo green.


That might be the one I had too. It seems like those black pointy tips were a lil bit softer than the rest of the car.
 
2008-06-24 09:55:04 PM  
I had one of those pedal-backwards-to-brake bikes in middle school and I loved it. I couldn't adjust to hand brakes in HS and just quit as every bike afterward left my my ass raw and sweaty.
 
2008-06-24 09:55:28 PM  
mikaloyd:How old?

Heh. I know that kid. He's like ten or so.
 
2008-06-24 09:57:10 PM  
NYZooMan: And mount a wooden soap box on the front for a scooter! Just like the Little Rascals!

The man three doors down from my house drove a delivery truck for a whiskey distributor - We are had Cutty Sark Scooters!!

I guess we didn't consider the lack of turning ability of those type of skates at the time.

Western Flyer skates (Western Auto's Brand) had adjustable trucks that you could loosen. Back it out too far and the skateboard would put you into a knee-knocker that was next to impossible to recover from (see Road Rash above).

Time to go flip pitch some baseball cards!

My parents owned the neighborhood corner grocery store so I had a near endless supply of new cards... as long as I didn't lose too bad.
 
2008-06-24 09:57:26 PM  
jjpat: After reading this, I'm ready to start an underground Jart club.

/suck it CPSC


Whats the first rule about jart club?
 
2008-06-24 09:57:49 PM  
The future of toys is the sponge. Of course, that will be banned after some dumb-ass, paste-eating moron rips a piece off and chokes to death on it. So really the future of toys is no toys. And after that, a ban on children.
 
2008-06-24 09:57:57 PM  
mikaloyd: Did anybody else have a Star Trek tracer gun as a kid?

Did anybody else load it with pennies instead of plastic discs?


Yes and yes!
 
2008-06-24 09:58:21 PM  
bPrize: jjpat: After reading this, I'm ready to start an underground Jart club.

/suck it CPSC

Whats the first rule about jart club?


1st RULE: You do not talk about Jart Club.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Jart Club.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or gets a Jart in the skull, the Jart match is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a Jart match.
5th RULE: One Jart match at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Jart matches will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at Jart Club, you HAVE to Jart.
 
2008-06-24 09:59:28 PM  
mazeville: OK, I'm late to the party here, but this "precious snowflake" business is really freaking stupid -- mainly because I recall when I was a kid how we were told how "easy" we had it. So unless you have your own "precious snowflake," I'd suggest y'all just STFU.

/My kid plays with a sit-and-spin at day care, and they're still widely available
//My 12-year-old nephew is more heavily armed than the Chinese mafia
///My kid also plays with Teddy Chainsawbear


Could we all just cool our jets re hating the snowflake meme please? I guarantee you that the replacement phrase will not be "children". It is more likely to be "womb feces" or the equivalent. "Snowflake" is pretty darned mild by FARK standards.
 
2008-06-24 09:59:30 PM  
Fireproof: Except maybe a bit bigger.

hell yes! Those were awesome.
 
2008-06-24 09:59:38 PM  
jjpat: bPrize: jjpat: After reading this, I'm ready to start an underground Jart club.

/suck it CPSC

Whats the first rule about jart club?

1st RULE: You do not talk about Jart Club.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Jart Club.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or gets a Jart in the skull, the Jart match is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a Jart match.
5th RULE: One Jart match at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Jart matches will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at Jart Club, you HAVE to Jart.



I gotta club like that, but called Shart Club.
 
2008-06-24 10:00:02 PM  
Kamaitachi Arazaramu

Fark is not that important. When I've had enough, I go download some .mp3 or youtube random search strings.

Plenty of fun out there.
 
2008-06-24 10:03:03 PM  
rewind2846: *pic of Dr_Bojangles sleeping with gun*

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: "Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifle a girl's name because this is the only pussy you people are going to get. Your days of finger-banging ol' Mary J. Rottencrotch through her pertty pink panties are over! You're married to this piece. This weapon of iron and wood. And you will be faithful. Port, hut!"


Uh-Rah!!!

/ Viet Nam era, so we never actually said that.
// We said things like, "More PT Drill Sergeant - WE LOVE PT"
 
2008-06-24 10:03:20 PM  
JammerJim: mikaloyd:How old?

Heh. I know that kid. He's like ten or so.


OK shes a good mom then. I was gonna be less impressed if he was 26.
 
2008-06-24 10:03:40 PM  
but even non-stop lawsuits could not stop THE ANIMAL
www.x-entertainment.com
 
2008-06-24 10:03:56 PM  
CrankMyBlueSax: '80s toys are for pansies.

Anybody remember this fun little skull-breaker from the '70s


We called em knicker bockers. Wow were those great.....and such a bad bad idea!
 
2008-06-24 10:04:02 PM  
Actually, come to think of it, my grandparents still keep a set of lawn darts. I think I need to beg it off of them soon and show the next door neighbour's kids what real fun is all about.
 
2008-06-24 10:04:57 PM  
It's sad that today's youngsters won't know the thrills of the Big Wheel. Slamming into your friends, in a game of bumper cars. Getting that sweet, sideways slide. Free-wheeling it down the steepest hill you could find. Good times, man. Skinned knees and chipped teeth be damned. Those were good times.
 
2008-06-24 10:06:31 PM  
alahop: We called em knicker bockers. Wow were those great.....and such a bad bad idea!

We called them knockers until my mom heard us call them that. Then we called them clackers. Damn those hurt when you messed up.
 
2008-06-24 10:06:33 PM  
Fireproof: So do any other children of the 80s/90s remember something vaguely like this:

We had this thing, that looked sorta like this without the burger head:

www.braindex.com

Picture a 6 sided pyramid surrounded with a bench with a gap for your legs so you could sit facing in or out. Maybe 7-8' diameter. Or on top with your feet on the bench or grabrail. All made of heavy wood with a heavy metal frame. However at our playground you could also go under where there were 4" I-beams holding it all together. So you could also sit under there, exposed to the rough cement plug that the center post was sunk into.

We'd get 6 kids under there to power the thing and it would really get moving.

Of course if you happened to fall while doing so you had the option of being trampled or taking a beam to the back of your head. Both happened with some frequency.

The more I think about it the more my childhood involved cracking my skull off various pieces of playground equipment.

If someone knows the name of the merry-go-ground/carousel thing I'm talking about I'd like to see a real picture.
 
2008-06-24 10:08:21 PM  
BigG: Fireproof: So do any other children of the 80s/90s remember something vaguely like this:

Isn't that Mayor McCheese?
 
2008-06-24 10:10:21 PM  
CrankMyBlueSax: '80s toys are for pansies.

Anybody remember this fun little skull-breaker from the '70s


CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK CLACK OW!
 
2008-06-24 10:11:57 PM  
LSinLV: I beat a playmate to death with a JENGA stick.

Ture story.


I got my head split open by a toy shovel made with real wood and metal. I think the parents were more traumatized by our attempt to dig to China in the middle of the front yard.
 
2008-06-24 10:12:06 PM  
BigG: If someone knows the name of the merry-go-ground/carousel thing I'm talking about I'd like to see a real picture.
 
2008-06-24 10:12:24 PM  
discount sushi: They left out Lawn Darts.

Yep, not a good list without those.
 
2008-06-24 10:12:48 PM  
I rode a wagon down the hill near my house. You sit in the wagon and reverse the handle to steer. Pulling the handle left steers you right, and vice versa. Your shoes were the brakes.

I built a high jump bar out of pipeworks, which are these PVC pipes that lock together. I got all the blankets and pillows I could find for the pad. I was the first and last person to attempt it because I missed the pad completely and landed headfirst on the lawn.
 
2008-06-24 10:13:25 PM  
Dennis_Moore: jjpat: bPrize: jjpat: After reading this, I'm ready to start an underground Jart club.

/suck it CPSC

Whats the first rule about jart club?

1st RULE: You do not talk about Jart Club.
2nd RULE: You DO NOT talk about Jart Club.
3rd RULE: If someone says "stop" or gets a Jart in the skull, the Jart match is over.
4th RULE: Only two guys to a Jart match.
5th RULE: One Jart match at a time.
6th RULE: No shirts, no shoes.
7th RULE: Jart matches will go on as long as they have to.
8th RULE: If this is your first night at Jart Club, you HAVE to Jart.

I gotta club like that, but called Shart Club.


I got a club like that, it's called Fark your neighbors wife in the butt club.
 
2008-06-24 10:14:21 PM  
Stompers kicked ass.
 
2008-06-24 10:14:25 PM  
jjpat:

i94.photobucket.com

Q&D.
 
2008-06-24 10:14:43 PM  
Dr_Bojangles: NYZooMan: And mount a wooden soap box on the front for a scooter! Just like the Little Rascals!

The man three doors down from my house drove a delivery truck for a whiskey distributor - We are had Cutty Sark Scooters!!

I guess we didn't consider the lack of turning ability of those type of skates at the time.

Western Flyer skates (Western Auto's Brand) had adjustable trucks that you could loosen. Back it out too far and the skateboard would put you into a knee-knocker that was next to impossible to recover from (see Road Rash above).

Time to go flip pitch some baseball cards!

My parents owned the neighborhood corner grocery store so I had a near endless supply of new cards... as long as I didn't lose too bad.


I don't think our crappy metal skates did anything but track straight. You picked up your feet and pointed in another direction to turn. Never occurred to me there were turnable ones!

Maybe in Baltimore you pitched cards, but in Queens we flipped.
It was a proud day when I mastered the flip!

Elston Howard face up on top for the WIN!
(only vaguely remember how it was played)

/I think some kids pitched
 
2008-06-24 10:15:08 PM  
mikaloyd: We called them knockers until my mom heard us call them that. Then we called them clackers. Damn those hurt when you messed up.

We used to call them, "OW! You Mother Farking Son of a Biatch"

www.vintageclackersandpopperknockers.com
 
2008-06-24 10:16:29 PM  
That was completely retarded. All those toys still exist today.
 
2008-06-24 10:16:47 PM  
mikaloyd: BigG: If someone knows the name of the merry-go-ground/carousel thing I'm talking about I'd like to see a real picture.

Image was too big

Is this it? (new window)
 
2008-06-24 10:17:09 PM  
BigG: Speaking of playgrounds, this was the best piece of playground equipment EVER and I don't see it around anymore. I could have sworn ours had the slide coming off the third level, not the second, but that's prob just my little kid memory mixing details up.



Metal with diamonplate floors. Could make a farking racket in it and still have the fun of banging your nogging off hard steel.


I fell off the top of one of those too and banged my head. No blood though.

Anybody got pic's of a playground contraption called a witches hat. Those got the axe when I was in grade school.
 
2008-06-24 10:19:13 PM  
we had those toys at our house but i never played with them, was too busy climbing trees and riding bicycles down steep inclines lol
 
2008-06-24 10:19:47 PM  
alahop:

This?
i94.photobucket.com
 
2008-06-24 10:23:58 PM  
BigG and Mikaloyd:

I saw those pictures and could practically smell the stale beer, urine and vomit aromas the 'big kids' left in my local rocket slide and robot slide.

I also remember being in the top of the rocket slide and having some spazzy older kid start to rock the thing back and forth to freak out us little kids.

I don't know which caused more injuries: bonking my head while climbing in the interior, or falling off the exterior.
 
2008-06-24 10:24:15 PM  
alahop:

Anybody got pic's of a playground contraption called a witches hat. Those got the axe when I was in grade school.


Is that the merry go round that is cone shaped?
 
2008-06-24 10:26:31 PM  
You know, I'm bone weary of the whole, "precious little overprotected snowflakes" meme. The common thread is: "we had moms who smoked, and lawn darts, etc. etc., and we survived, so there." Guess what? The "overprotection" kids have now has helped more of them grow up. True story. The rate of child mortality by unintentional injuries for kids 5-14 in 2004 was 6.5 per 100,000. In 1980, it was 15 per 100,000, or more than twice as much. Link (new window) Yeah, teaching kids to be tough is part of raising them. So is getting them to not die before then.
 
2008-06-24 10:27:39 PM  
T.Durden: Was this one of the five toys? Because I'd like to file a lawsuit to replace the pants I ripped with my wood.

hahaha, i went to high school with her
 
2008-06-24 10:28:23 PM  
NYZooMan: Maybe in Baltimore you pitched cards, but in Queens we flipped. Elston Howard face up on top for the WIN!

Wait, wait... I'm pulling this shiat out of the nooks and crannies of what's left of my brain.

"A Leaner" was the WIN because you couldn't get a card farther up the terrace than a card that was leaning against the wall [backstop]. Unless, of course, someone knocked the leaner down and ended up farther ahead or topping the knocked down card.

Another leaner resulted in a tie.

\ Whew! I gotta go lay down now.
 
2008-06-24 10:29:15 PM  
mikaloyd: Is this it? (new window)

It was that kind of slatted wood, but the center came up in a pyramid shape, with those same kind of wooden slats. And you could sit facing inward around the perimeter.

OK, whipped out PaintShop, picture this with those same kind of wooden slats. All wood on top except for the grabrail with a metal frame underneath (and yes that was the only woodgrain fill I could find quick):

This is a top view and an edge-on side view.

img410.imageshack.us
 
2008-06-24 10:29:35 PM  
ciocia: You know, I'm bone weary of the whole, "precious little overprotected snowflakes" meme. The common thread is: "we had moms who smoked, and lawn darts, etc. etc., and we survived, so there." Guess what? The "overprotection" kids have now has helped more of them grow up. True story. The rate of child mortality by unintentional injuries for kids 5-14 in 2004 was 6.5 per 100,000. In 1980, it was 15 per 100,000, or more than twice as much. Link (new window) Yeah, teaching kids to be tough is part of raising them. So is getting them to not die before then.

I do not think that is too big a price to pay compared with an overbearing soccer mom mentality which pervades our society currently.
 
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