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(Yahoo)   To: Fark Headlines - CC: Farker1, Farker2, Farker3, Farker4, Farker5 - Subject: HAHA LOL 6 Most Annoying Coworkers, so trueee   (hotjobs.yahoo.com) divider line 304
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25663 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Jun 2008 at 9:49 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-06-22 06:54:52 PM  
I think the #1 most annoying coworker is the one that has a thing for you and makes it so farking obvious. He never leaves you alone, always tries to trap you in conversation when you're obviously busy working, wont stop asking you out to lunch when you've told him no several times and makes you feel overall very uncomfortable. I'm glad I dont work with him directly because if I did I would have quit by now.
 
2008-06-22 06:58:47 PM  
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I agree.
 
2008-06-22 06:58:52 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I think the #1 most annoying coworker is the one that has a thing for you and makes it so farking obvious. He never leaves you alone, always tries to trap you in conversation when you're obviously busy working, wont stop asking you out to lunch when you've told him no several times and makes you feel overall very uncomfortable. I'm glad I dont work with him directly because if I did I would have quit by now.


Do we know eachother?
 
2008-06-22 06:58:56 PM  
The Naysayer. This office dweller delights in shooting down ideas. Even during "blue sky" brainstorming sessions, where all suggestions are to be contemplated with an open mind, the Naysayer immediately pooh-poohs any proposal that challenges the status quo.

AKA "Management"
 
2008-06-22 07:02:38 PM  
3. The Buzzwordsmith. Whether speaking or writing, the Buzzwordsmith sacrifices clarity in favor of showcasing an expansive vocabulary of cliched business terms. This ineffective communicator loves to "utilize" -- never just "use" -- industry-specific jargon and obscure acronyms that muddle messages. Favorite buzzwords include "synergistic," "actionable," "monetize," and "paradigm shift."


AKA "Management"
 
2008-06-22 07:03:45 PM  
2. The Spotlight Stealer. There is definitely an "I" in "team" according to this glory seeker, who tries to take full credit for collaborative efforts and impress higher-ups. This overly ambitious corporate climber never heard a good idea he wouldn't pass off as his own.

AKA "Management"
 
2008-06-22 07:04:54 PM  
6. The Stick in the Mud. This person is all business all of the time. Disapproving of any attempt at levity, the constant killjoy doesn't have fun at work and doesn't think anyone else should either.

AKA "Management"
 
2008-06-22 07:10:57 PM  
2. Grab a 3/8 Socket and ratchet. Take off the 4 bolts holding the driveshaft on. If you cant get to the bolts turn the driveshaft with your hands. Once you get the driveshaft into the right spot. Climb out from underneath the car and yank the E-brake and get back underneath the car and take the bolts off. Repeat for the other 2 bolts. Then just remove driveshaft.

AKA "Management"
 
2008-06-22 07:11:58 PM  
Those are too theoretical.

What about the 30 Minute Too Long Lunch Taker? The Constant Chatters who just assume someone else will handle whatever needs to be done. The people who put five times as much effort into planning days off six months in advance than the matter at hand. The microwave popcorn burners. The more personal calls than work calls talkers.
 
2008-06-22 07:26:43 PM  
And at the end of the article, the general point is to be courteous.

Seems like a lot of words just for that.

What a time waster the writer of this article was.

-1
 
2008-06-22 07:30:53 PM  
There should be at least five more classes here...

7 - The Workaholic: "I've been here longer and work more than you, so I'm better educated to know how to deal with clients than you, moran!"
8 - The Bcc/cc freak: They email everyone when they get a good compliment from a client. "FW: Thanks, and you have a good weekend, too!"
9 - The Hall Monitor: Whatever you did last weekend is company business.
10 - The Relative: "My dad/mom/sister/brother/cousin said it should be done this way, so I'm right!"
11 - The Biatch/Asshole: "There are no more good men/women out there." They'll walk right past you holding the door, and not even think it was done out of curtiousness; they expect it.
 
2008-06-22 07:35:12 PM  
Whoops...courteousness. farkers.
 
2008-06-22 07:44:39 PM  
12--The Anti-Hygiene Guy/Gal: Every office I've ever worked in has had one of these. Either someone who just pours on the cheap perfume, the sales guy who dresses like a slob & doesn't shower for days, the guy with the plaque-covered teeth, etc.
 
2008-06-22 08:00:39 PM  
McStinky: And at the end of the article, the general point is to be courteous.

Seems like a lot of words just for that.

What a time waster the writer of this article was.

-1


Naysayer! ;)
 
2008-06-22 08:16:37 PM  
what about the IT guys that think they are god.
 
2008-06-22 08:18:51 PM  
What about the Marketing Department?

If you want to find the hellhole department in any company where the residents know NOTHING about the business, and NOTHING about how to promote that business, and, above all, know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THE INTERNET, find the Marketing Department.
 
2008-06-22 08:27:00 PM  
m3thod21: Do we know eachother?

Well just in case we do, I DONT WANT YOUR FARKING NUMBER, I WILL NOT CALL YOU BACK. STOP STOPPING ME WHILE IM WORKING TO SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU. NO, I DO NOT WANT THE PARTIALLY MELTED BAR OF CHOCOLATE YOU KEEP IN THE BACK POCKET OF YOUR JEANS ALL DAY. GO AWAY.

/if we dont know eachother, just ignore that. :)

Dafodude: Naysayer! ;)

Those sayers of nay!

By the way, I hate the PC bullshiatters at work that think that just because you want a few drinks after work every so often and because you have a sign on your cubicle that says "whenever work gets hard just remember you're going to die soon" it must mean you're a suicidal alcoholic. It's a farking advertising company. Lighten the fark up, asstwats. And no, I dont want to go to the status meeting and I dont want to update the report either, shiathat.

/dreading work tomorrow
 
2008-06-22 08:42:32 PM  
I want to find the farker who developed cross-functional teams that need strategic plans and annual plans to determine measurable objectives and deliverables, as well as the issue resolution process that requires 14 steps and a flow chart, and choke them with their own colon.

I did not make any of this shiat up. This is my life at work.
 
2008-06-22 08:49:21 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: m3thod21: Do we know eachother?

Well just in case we do, I DONT WANT YOUR FARKING NUMBER, I WILL NOT CALL YOU BACK. STOP STOPPING ME WHILE IM WORKING TO SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU. NO, I DO NOT WANT THE PARTIALLY MELTED BAR OF CHOCOLATE YOU KEEP IN THE BACK POCKET OF YOUR JEANS ALL DAY. GO AWAY.

/if we dont know eachother, just ignore that. :)

Dafodude: Naysayer! ;)

Those sayers of nay!

By the way, I hate the PC bullshiatters at work that think that just because you want a few drinks after work every so often and because you have a sign on your cubicle that says "whenever work gets hard just remember you're going to die soon" it must mean you're a suicidal alcoholic. It's a farking advertising company. Lighten the fark up, asstwats. And no, I dont want to go to the status meeting and I dont want to update the report either, shiathat.

/dreading work tomorrow


Hey there sweetcheeks. :p

Microwave popcorn burner is #1 on my list. That and the woman going through a divorce and thinks everyone is interested in her problems and why she needs to miss so much time from work.

/Ever smelt someone burn pork rinds in a microwave?
 
2008-06-22 08:54:40 PM  
Crazy bosses. Where were they on the list? You know, the ones that call endless meetings to complain about how things aren't getting done fast enough. Well, how about not calling any more of these stupid meetings?
 
2008-06-22 08:56:21 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I think the #1 most annoying coworker is the one that has a thing for you and makes it so farking obvious. He never leaves you alone, always tries to trap you in conversation when you're obviously busy working, wont stop asking you out to lunch when you've told him no several times and makes you feel overall very uncomfortable. I'm glad I dont work with him directly because if I did I would have quit by now.

You sure you don't want to grab lunch?
 
2008-06-22 08:59:15 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I DONT WANT YOUR FARKING NUMBER, I WILL NOT CALL YOU BACK. STOP STOPPING ME WHILE IM WORKING TO SAY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING TO ME. NO, I DO NOT WANT TO GO TO LUNCH WITH YOU. NO, I DO NOT WANT THE PARTIALLY MELTED BAR OF CHOCOLATE YOU KEEP IN THE BACK POCKET OF YOUR JEANS ALL DAY. GO AWAY.



So.... How YOU doin'?
 
2008-06-22 09:01:57 PM  
I don't really have any major problem with my co-workers, but I really feel hurt when there's someone in my office, and she's really, really cute, but pretends to be terribly distant, like she's saying "I don't date people in the workplace", when I know full well that she does, at least she did the other week when I asked her out, and even offered her a piece of my gourmet 75% cacao Scharffen Berger bar, and she was all "I have to groom my cat" but when I happened to be outside her apartment building later on that day she came out and got into a car and I looked and it was Burnside, that asshole from Accounting who keeps talking about me to the boss, saying that I'm not doing my job, but he won't do THAT again, but I'm getting ahead of myself -- anyway, she went with him to the Crab Shack, which is where I told her that I wanted to take her, and she showed up with him and stayed for an hour and twelve minutes and had the appetizer that I always order and she had three Crabby Slammers so I knew the little harlot was planning on getting lucky with Burnside, but boy was she in for a surprise because I'd been loading his coffee with saltpeter for about a month, just a little bit at a time but working up to a pretty big load for a pretty big toad -- but when they went back to his place I couldn't see what they were doing right away because he's got a doorman who was all "Get away from here, you creep stalker", so I called 911 from a pay phone and said he was smoking pot and molesting a little girl in the lobby so they came and while they were talking to him I came in and when I got out on the balcony they had already failed to do whatever the strumpet and her prey were intending to do because they just sat and talked, just talked, for like three hours and forty seven minutes and then he took her home, probably going down Lake to Shoreline Drive because by the time I was able to sneak downstairs and get back to my Vespa and get back to her building she was already home and if he had driven her by any other route it would have taken him longer than nineteen minutes and seventeen seconds, which was how long it took me, so I just grabbed a chili dog with onions and that greenish-yellow relish from 7/11 and went back to my tree stand and watched her sleep but I don't really like it when I have co-workers like that.
 
2008-06-22 09:06:01 PM  
dahmers love zombie: I don't really have any major problem with my co-workers, but I really feel hurt when there's someone in my office, and she's really, really cute, but pretends to be terribly distant, like she's saying "I don't date people in the workplace", when I know full well that she does, at least she did the other week when I asked her out, and even offered her a piece of my gourmet 75% cacao Scharffen Berger bar, and she was all "I have to groom my cat" but when I happened to be outside her apartment building later on that day she came out and got into a car and I looked and it was Burnside, that asshole from Accounting who keeps talking about me to the boss, saying that I'm not doing my job, but he won't do THAT again, but I'm getting ahead of myself -- anyway, she went with him to the Crab Shack, which is where I told her that I wanted to take her, and she showed up with him and stayed for an hour and twelve minutes and had the appetizer that I always order and she had three Crabby Slammers so I knew the little harlot was planning on getting lucky with Burnside, but boy was she in for a surprise because I'd been loading his coffee with saltpeter for about a month, just a little bit at a time but working up to a pretty big load for a pretty big toad -- but when they went back to his place I couldn't see what they were doing right away because he's got a doorman who was all "Get away from here, you creep stalker", so I called 911 from a pay phone and said he was smoking pot and molesting a little girl in the lobby so they came and while they were talking to him I came in and when I got out on the balcony they had already failed to do whatever the strumpet and her prey were intending to do because they just sat and talked, just talked, for like three hours and forty seven minutes and then he took her home, probably going down Lake to Shoreline Drive because by the time I was able to sneak downstairs and get back to my Vespa and get back to her building she was already home and if he had driven her by any other route it would have taken him longer than nineteen minutes and seventeen seconds, which was how long it took me, so I just grabbed a chili dog with onions and that greenish-yellow relish from 7/11 and went back to my tree stand and watched her sleep but I don't really like it when I have co-workers like that.

I wanted to chug a bottle of tequilla and gouge out my eyes halfway through your post.
 
2008-06-22 09:07:16 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I wanted to chug a bottle of tequilla and gouge out my eyes halfway through your post.

My work is done.
 
2008-06-22 09:07:20 PM  
i27.photobucket.com

"Didja get that THING I sent ya?"
 
2008-06-22 09:09:20 PM  
muck4doo: Hey there sweetcheeks. :p

Microwave popcorn burner is #1 on my list. That and the woman going through a divorce and thinks everyone is interested in her problems and why she needs to miss so much time from work.

/Ever smelt someone burn pork rinds in a microwave?


Hey there sugar pants. :)

I've never had the popcorn burner in my office but that's gotta suck.
 
2008-06-22 09:13:33 PM  
i276.photobucket.com
/does not approve
//make it right
 
2008-06-22 09:14:28 PM  
thanks for playing:
/does not approve
//make it right


DAMMIT! Wrong thread!
 
2008-06-22 09:20:45 PM  
thanks for playing: /does not approve
//make it right


He looks a lot like this guy I once dated sometime in December. He went batshiat on New Years when he saw me hug one of my guy friends goodbye and started calling me a whore and cursing me out and stuff. The next day he 'told me' I was going to his house to watch movies. I told him to stop calling and I never heard from him again. Bad times.

/he kinda looked like a neo-nazi
//at least I didnt work with him
 
2008-06-22 09:22:12 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I've never had the popcorn burner in my office but that's gotta suck.

We had him.

The firetrucks came.

/Sucked.
 
2008-06-22 09:22:41 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: muck4doo: Hey there sweetcheeks. :p

Microwave popcorn burner is #1 on my list. That and the woman going through a divorce and thinks everyone is interested in her problems and why she needs to miss so much time from work.

/Ever smelt someone burn pork rinds in a microwave?

Hey there sugar pants. :)

I've never had the popcorn burner in my office but that's gotta suck.


Yeah, the smell doesn't go away for quite a while. Tis a horrible thing.

/Love it when you call me sugarpants. :)
 
2008-06-22 09:23:50 PM  
muck4doo: sugarpants

Aye, it's cute, if impractical, to wear them, though.
 
2008-06-22 09:27:40 PM  
muck4doo:
...the woman going through a divorce and thinks everyone is interested in her problems and why she needs to miss so much time from work.

You don't know how I feel!!!!
 
2008-06-22 09:33:41 PM  
Oh, and the guy who clips his nails ... in the lunch room.
 
2008-06-22 09:38:14 PM  
I used to work with a guy who fought with his wife on the phone - LOUDLY - several times a day. That is really awkward in cube city.
 
2008-06-22 09:53:25 PM  
The best advice: Remember common courtesy and act toward others as you want them to act toward you.

Where would Fark be with advice like that?!
 
2008-06-22 09:55:06 PM  
kilgorn: The best advice: Remember common courtesy and act toward others as you want them to act toward you.

Where would Fark be with advice like that?!


Fark you! Have some goddamn manners sometime and maybe you can get out of your mothers basement someday!

:P
 
2008-06-22 09:56:38 PM  
EsteeFlwrPot: I think the #1 most annoying coworker is the one that has a thing for you and makes it so farking obvious. He never leaves you alone, always tries to trap you in conversation when you're obviously busy working, wont stop asking you out to lunch when you've told him no several times and makes you feel overall very uncomfortable. I'm glad I dont work with him directly because if I did I would have quit by now.

I think the most annoying coworker is the one who mistakes your polite conversation for unwarranted advances. Furthermore, she complains to management, putting a black mark on your record for sexual harassment. The icing on the cake is when she files a restraining order on you. "No" was enough in the first place; the rest was simply adding insult to injury.
 
BLR
2008-06-22 09:56:52 PM  
I had a co-worker that was a combination of the Spotlight Stealer and the Interrupter. I had the pleasure of being in training with her for three freakin' months while she consistently interrupted our trainers - by repeating the last 2-3 words they said, as if she was completing their thoughts for them. She also had this beautiful habit of constantly bringing up her career background and telling stories that had nothing to do with anything that was being discussed.
 
2008-06-22 09:58:26 PM  
I worked with a guy who would hug you - no matter if you were a male or female.
I also worked with a guy who would ask me if he was funny, and tell me all the jokes he was going to put in a joke book he is writing. That's the same guy who would follow me into the bathroom and ask me questions while I'm in the stall.
 
2008-06-22 09:58:34 PM  
They forgot: The Collectors... they're always collecting money for a gift for everyone for every occasion. The worst ones are the ones who go ahead and buy flower arrangements or gift baskets first and assume you wanted to go in on it.

Co-worker: We bought pregnant so-and-so from accounting an SUV stroller that cost $500. Your share is $20.

Me: You bought who what now? And we don't even work in accounting.


I hate those people.


/I exaggerate for comic effect, but it happens much more often than I'd like.
 
2008-06-22 09:59:04 PM  
I used to nuke (not burn) a bag of popcorn everyday because of the crabby hag secretary. She could not stand the smell of popcorn, and since she was difficult and never wanted to do any work I gave her --- I made popcorn all the time, even if I wasn't going to eat it. Thank FSM the snaggly toothed biatch moved far away!

The article missed the teleworkers that don't actually ever do any work. Grr!
 
2008-06-22 09:59:27 PM  
hogans: I think the most annoying coworker is the one who mistakes your polite conversation for unwarranted advances. Furthermore, she complains to management, putting a black mark on your record for sexual harassment. The icing on the cake is when she files a restraining order on you. "No" was enough in the first place; the rest was simply adding insult to injury.

Well if it ever gets to that point i'll just quit. I dont like that whole sexual harassment permanent records stuff. Honestly though, this isnt light conversation. I actually feel uncomfortable.
 
2008-06-22 10:00:02 PM  
What about "eye watering kim chee farts" guy?

/#1 offender on my list
 
2008-06-22 10:00:09 PM  
Tabatha Static: "Didja get that THING I sent ya?"

"A sandwich without bread isn't a sandwich! It's meat, with MUSTARD ON YA HANDS!"

See, if I could have bumper cars in my office and cartoon characters for clients, I'd easily go for a coworker like Potamus.

Mopey mopey hippo.
 
2008-06-22 10:00:10 PM  
thanks for playing: /does not approve
//make it right


That ASS HOLE is such a media pig and deserves Gitmo. He ruined many Good building programs. Well actually he caused them to all be canceled. For those of you who don't know. Mike Holmes spends 8 months fixing up a contractor abandoned home and then puts all that in to 'one hour', instead of 4 hours or more.. What a ASS-HAT.


/And I kicked the crap out of a ass hole from work.
//Saw him in a dark place after hours and he didn't see it coming.
///Lights out, you ass.
////He's much better now, with not being such a turd supreme.
 
2008-06-22 10:00:15 PM  
DarthBrooks: What about the Marketing Department?

If you want to find the hellhole department in any company where the residents know NOTHING about the business, and NOTHING about how to promote that business, and, above all, know ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ABOUT THE INTERNET, find the Marketing Department.


...or HR...
 
2008-06-22 10:00:16 PM  
They forgot the blame-game guy, like the IT guy who blames every email outage on the users. The biatch secretary who thinks she's a farking hall monitor and timekeeper. Also, the guy who always asks your advise and never takes it.
 
2008-06-22 10:01:08 PM  
They forgot to mention the annoying guy in the cube next to you who manages to make way too much noise chewing gum, eating chips, chewing on things, slurping, mashing the keypad of his phone, or constantly clicking his mouse button like there's no tomorrow...which I have to sit and listen to every day...aaaaah!
 
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