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(Washington Post)   Naked man with caliper shot by police   ( divider line
    More: Amusing  
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2583 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 Aug 2001 at 1:34 PM (16 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

81 Comments     (+0 »)

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2001-08-14 01:37:33 PM  
How is this amusing?
And did the cops really have to use a shotgun?
2001-08-14 01:37:43 PM  
Oh for crying out loud. YOu mean to tell me those shaved headed oakly wearing donut processing robocop wannabe's coulndn't disarm a man wielding a calipers?

For fark's sake, that's the first thing they should teach at Asshole School er, the Police Academy.
2001-08-14 01:38:25 PM  
A 2-foot long caliper? Jeebus that's a big caliper.
2001-08-14 01:38:58 PM  
Yeah who is responsible for the captions? Ohhh he was naked
thats soooo funny!
2001-08-14 01:42:38 PM  
That guy deserved it for a few reasons. First, if you abuse your girlfriend or wife (physical or emotional), you deserve to be shot. Second, if he was on drugs, he was a threat to the police. People on meth or other strong drugs make people crazy and they can come at you even after being shot. Third, you shouldn't fark with the police. They were trying to help, so he should have dropped the calipers.
2001-08-14 01:45:02 PM  
I think police should be able to shoot crack heads and the homeless whenever they feel like it. Oh yeah.. crazies like this guy too.
2001-08-14 01:46:55 PM  

Don't know if you heard, but the Detroit cop who shot to death a deaf man who was wielding a rake a few months ago was acquited this past week.

The prosecution argued that he couldn't hear the order by police to drop the rake.

2001-08-14 01:49:03 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-14 01:49:38 PM  
Would it have made a difference if he'd had a 2' knife or machete? A 2' long caliper with a needsharp point is just as deadly. Although a shotgun might have been a bit excessive, why does it make a difference whether he was killed with a pistol round or a blast from a shotgun? He's still just as dead.
2001-08-14 01:51:39 PM  
Nice picture Kenh. I guess he essentially had a hatchet in his hand. If someone was coming at me swinging one of these things, I'd drop him too.
2001-08-14 01:56:09 PM  
That serves him right for measuring things accurately while in a state of undress. That is specifically prohibited by law...
2001-08-14 01:56:43 PM  
And this is what he planned to do once he could get the caliper close enough:

[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-14 01:58:28 PM  
I wonder if it would be considered a large-caliper weapon?
2001-08-14 02:04:09 PM  
In UK we shoot them just for being naked.
2001-08-14 02:04:21 PM  
Holy fark that was bad, Someguy.

I mean, well... I'm jealous that you thought of it first, that is.
2001-08-14 02:06:09 PM  
Oh Someguy, booooooooooooooo.
2001-08-14 02:07:32 PM  
Years ago, I worked at a mental institution. The law in that state was that if you hurt an inmate, you were in trouble, if the inmate hurt you, you were still in trouble.
Back then, in perfect health and keeping up with tai che, I would have taken the guy down, it would have been my job to do so. Now, of course, I would just shoot him, if running were not an option.
2001-08-14 02:07:36 PM  
He should be pun-ished for that one.
2001-08-14 02:17:19 PM  
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for wasting lunatics and dopefiends... what I AM against is the god damned attitude that the ROBOPOLICE force has. I find it absolutely hilarious that they were scared of a naked guy with a calipers. I worked in manufacturing for a few years, so I know what they are and that they mildly dangerous. However, I would expect our highly trained defenders of justice would be able to disarm someone with one. I know I sure as hell could. At least I wouldn't have to resort to my firearms.
2001-08-14 02:17:23 PM  
"You shot him!"

"He was coming at me with a banana, I mean caliper!"
2001-08-14 02:18:11 PM  
Woot, boobies on Fark. Been lurking for a bit. Anywho, is it just me, or was that story badly written. Five paragraphs ended with "McLauglin said." There were a few more buried scattered about. You'd think the Washington post could do a bit better.
2001-08-14 02:19:50 PM  
Hmm.. don't remember typing "boobies" seem to recall it being more about how this is the first time I have written a comment. How very odd. Must be that fruedian slip thingee.
2001-08-14 02:19:52 PM  
Somebody has to to a Photoshop of the Naked Guy holding a caliper... it simply has to be done....
2001-08-14 02:20:52 PM  
It's not you... the cgi filters out the words f.i.r.s..t..p.o..s....t and replaces them with "boobies".
2001-08-14 02:22:41 PM  
^5 Jebediah I so agree!

I'd have done the same thing...
2001-08-14 02:25:15 PM  
Ahhh.. yes, that would explain it. Any other items I should be aware of that aren't listed in the FArQ?
2001-08-14 02:26:19 PM  
I don't find this very farking funny.
2001-08-14 02:28:38 PM  
This shouldn't surprise anyone. Cops are pussies and will shoot the first chance they get.
2001-08-14 02:46:40 PM  
Yeah, that is really bad. With all their training, they should have been able to put the guy down anyway. But, if they couldn't do it without the use of a gun, they should have shot him in the foot or the leg or something. There's no reason to shoot someone with a shotgun in the chest, even if they are evil enough to beat someone.
2001-08-14 02:48:29 PM  
At 5:00 in the morning it was probably too dark to see clearly what he was holding. If he was threatening them and refused to put it down, they did what they were trained to do. Cops are not trained to subdue perps with weapons. They are trained to take them down to protect innocent lives if the perps are being threatening with them and don't respond to orders to desist. The farker got what he deserved. No, there was nothing funny about it, but I wouldn't be ragging on the cops for doing their job.
2001-08-14 02:48:56 PM  

Let's face it...nobody likes a size queen.
2001-08-14 02:57:54 PM  
Lots of people trashing cops. Granted that some cops are lowlifes but no higher a percentage than the general population.

How many of you wake up each day and get dressed with a target on your chest? Cops have a tough job and part of it is to stand between you and someone with lethal intentions and die if necessary to protect you. Someone coming at them with what might appear to be a hatchet after a bloody victim has been screaming she's being/been hurt by this guy is a put down with whatever force is needed. As a private citizen I wouldn't even be required to warn the guy but the cops did. Continue to approach anyone pointing a firearm at you after being told to stop and you deserve whatever happens. It removes that stupid gene from the pool if nothing else.
2001-08-14 03:09:13 PM  
Ask and ye shall receive, Demosthenes. I guess I could have put a bloodied hole in the middle of naked guy, but I couldn't be bothered.

[image from too old to be available]
Now ask yourself if this punk, all jazzed up on benzedrine or whatever, was coming at me, would I blow him away?

PS: Is anyone else having trouble accessing this article?
2001-08-14 03:10:10 PM  
I would have shot him too put your self in the cops shoes. I hate cops but, I can't blame them for getting rid of a few lunatics. they probably would have been back to the house on a domestic violence call a week later now they wont have to.
2001-08-14 03:10:52 PM  
ok maybe the shotgun was a little much
2001-08-14 03:13:07 PM  
Thanks, MrGreenfish.... I would have done it myself, but I don't have Photoshop at work....
2001-08-14 03:16:19 PM  
I just found this picture of the shooting:

[image from too old to be available]
2001-08-14 03:22:47 PM  
Damn, Mrgreenfish got his photoshop in while I was making mine. Good work.
2001-08-14 03:27:10 PM  
Dontcha hate that? :-)
2001-08-14 03:53:38 PM  
What is wrong with this country when you can't even run around naked after beating your wife with calipers that the cops think they can just come into your trailer park and start shooting?
2001-08-14 04:06:50 PM  
"officers responding to a domestic disturbance shot and killed a man who came toward them wielding a measuring tool, police said."

Oh, my Gawd... He's going to measure something....Quick blow his damned head off...shoot to kill....Oink!!
2001-08-14 04:25:46 PM  
This should serve as a warning to all of those mechanical engineers. shiat don't ever think about running around with a ruler.
2001-08-14 04:28:39 PM  
Phillip E. Pankey, 46, was naked and holding a machinist's caliper, a two-foot-long metal measuring device with a point and a sharp edge, Sgt. Rick McLaughlin said.

Now imagine say you are this guy and in the after life and somebody next to you says, "Heart attack and that guy over there, Cancer, what happened to you to get here?" How do you reply to that? "ummmmm well, I was naked and I came at police with some two foot long calipers, I just feel stupid now, I dunno what I was thinking."
2001-08-14 04:38:48 PM  
Pankey? Mr. Hank Pankey? a.k.a Hankey?
2001-08-14 04:57:16 PM  
...Police officers responding to a domestic disturbance...
...He walked toward the officers as they backed out of the house...
McLaughlin said they did not have time to use non-lethal bean bag shotgun rounds.
#1-It is a DOMESTIC disturbance, once the officers heard that on the 2-way radio, don't you think that they should have loaded up the non-lethal rounds?
#2-They were INSIDE the house, couldn't they have used CN or CS agent ( like tear gas ) ?
#3- How hard can it be to load up a shotgun, especially with a speedloader?
2001-08-14 05:04:47 PM (four seconds!)
2001-08-14 05:05:52 PM  
2001-08-14 05:07:00 PM  

2001-08-14 05:08:44 PM  
2001-08-14 05:10:09 PM  
That's tough to do when you're a SuperCop™ and you're trying out for your debut on "COPS" or better known as "When Assholes are Given Weapons and Taught to Attack Part II - Attack Harder With a Vengence", a FOX Family Special.
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