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(Florida Today)   Palm Bay voting to add heavy restrictions on arcades. Also on the agenda are a resolution supporting President Reagan's reelection campaign and vote on funding for a Members Only Jacket fashion show   (floridatoday.com) divider line 126
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3958 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jun 2008 at 4:34 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-06-05 05:20:36 PM
Darth Invictus
WTF? That article left me scratching my head.

I even read the comments section, with the councilman behind the proposal "explaining" it, and it still didn't make any damn sense.

Oh well. I guess that's why we have the Florida tag! LOL


I was also confused. It seems almost as if the residents of this city are SO old that they've confused "gaming arcade" with "gambling casino" and are therefore afraid of it.
FTFA:

Feldman said the people who spin to win in the arcades are the same ones who participate in parimutuel betting or play bingo at local churches.

"I worry (that) you set the stage for something else. That's where I'm afraid," Zonka said. "When I first heard of these things, the mental picture was not good. But it's right up there with bingo, so far, as harmlessness."
 
2008-06-05 05:24:21 PM
whodigsben: Ah BravadoGt, I was wondering when you'd show your ugly mug. And don't mock 2225. Many a creepy old guy got it on with all the other high school girls who ignored us because they didn't know enough to be creeped out by these old guys.

And to the rest of you, Palm Bay would be lucky to have a freakin' arcade. At least there'd be something to do there other than gig frogs and be yelled at by old people.

/never, EVER going back.


You were waiting for ME? I posted that before it even hit the main page...Shell out the $5 for Totalfark, already, you cheap biatch!

Say, how is your sister doing? When is she coming back to town?
 
2008-06-05 05:25:04 PM
Palm Bay, FL = Red. Neck. Hell. Hole.

Link to the Official song of Palm Bay, FL.


/live on the beachside, if you must live in Brevard County at all.
//hurricanes be damned
 
2008-06-05 05:26:57 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

That was known as Palm Bay Greens in its heyday.

Andretti is just up the road on babcock...its golf carts and an arcade.

BravadoGT and whodigsben

We need to organize a Brevard county fark party one of these days.
 
2008-06-05 05:31:25 PM
fiddle-faddle: Palm Bay, FL = Red. Neck. Hell. Hole.

Link to the Official song of Palm Bay, FL.


/live on the beachside, if you must live in Brevard County at all.
//hurricanes be damned


I'm not sure how you'd do it, but look for "Placenta for Breakfast" and "Palm Bay" on Fark. I tell my Palm Bay stories. If you've never spent any time there, then you just can't imagine how bad it is. You know all the crud you get in the stopper in your kitchen sink? That's Palm Bay.

I met a couple here in Austin who lived in Palm Bay about as long as I did. Oh man, we talked for hours and were able to finish each others' stories. I said, "And whenever I saw an Orlando TV station news van in Palm Bay I knew there had just been..." and she jumped in "A pit bull attack!" Exactly.

Palm Bay is to Florida what Florida is to the United States.
 
2008-06-05 05:33:14 PM
GoSurfing: Placenta for Breakfast

That was known as Palm Bay Greens in its heyday.


That sounds familiar. We left in 1998 and have never been back!

Andretti is just up the road on babcock...its golf carts and an arcade.

BravadoGT and whodigsben

We need to organize a Brevard county fark party one of these days.


BravadoGT... GT = Georgia Tech? I thought Georgia Tech was lacking women. The place was a regular harem compared to Palm Bay.
 
2008-06-05 05:33:27 PM
I would like to let you all know that Palm Bay had an arsonist and was one of the towns in Florida devastated by the wildfires. Hundreds of homes burned to the ground and there was little the fire department could do about it because the residents refused to pay for a city water system. This system would surely have saved them millions by this point.

I'm glad that they've decided to completely abandon taking on any important issues and fill their agendas with this non-issue.
 
2008-06-05 05:33:42 PM
I sported a Members Only jacket, mullet, and unironically popped collar. No parachute pants.

Arcades that serve beer have gotten pretty fun (but expensive) lately. Jillian's, Dave & Buster's, etc.
 
2008-06-05 05:34:14 PM
GoSurfing

But you'd have to come up to Atlanta for that. And BravadoGT, Drew will pry my $5 out of my cold, dead hands.
 
2008-06-05 05:37:02 PM
g
 
2008-06-05 05:37:30 PM
All I can say is arcades have never been the same since the decline of pinball. A sad state of affairs.

/played pinball since I was five
//decidedly NOT a video game person
///video games of the 70s and 80s were more playable than today's games
\my lawn, let me show you off it
 
2008-06-05 05:37:34 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

Austin? Palm Bay? That couple you met...the guy didn't happen to be a fat Asian dude?
 
2008-06-05 05:37:39 PM
www.sachsreport.com
Dens of sin, I tells ya.
 
2008-06-05 05:41:01 PM
Funny. THIS was sent to me this morning by an old friend.
 
2008-06-05 05:42:49 PM
deadapostle: I would like to let you all know that Palm Bay had an arsonist and was one of the towns in Florida devastated by the wildfires. Hundreds of homes burned to the ground and there was little the fire department could do about it because the residents refused to pay for a city water system. This system would surely have saved them millions by this point.

I'm glad that they've decided to completely abandon taking on any important issues and fill their agendas with this non-issue.


Don't get me started!

When we lived there we paid $660 per year in property taxes. I pay that in less than two months in Austin. No, I don't LIKE paying taxes, but you get what you paid for. The roads were falling apart then and from what I hear they still haven't been improved. Parts of Palm Bay Road near Harris are little better than a gravel road.

The schools sucked. From the quality of the education to the buildings themselves. We knew a teacher who had a tree root buckle her classroom floor every morning there'd be water and mud all over her elementary school classroom that she had to clean up herself. Every single bond election or school tax increase failed by a huge margin. The local cable system had local news during the last 5 minutes of every 30 minute segment on CNN Headline News. They'd interview these crotchety old people who'd say, "I don't got no kids in school here, why should I pay school taxes. They're not getting my money." Gee lady, the taxpayers back in New York paid for YOUR kids to go to school. STFU!

Again, no love of taxes, but I don't mind paying them in order to have decent schools, good roads, proper fire protection, etc.
 
2008-06-05 05:43:18 PM
deadapostle

Yeah what is also crazy is not a single greenlight toward that.

I tried submitting quite a few links on that fire, and obviously nothing.

I was working out in Valkaria when the fire started that Monday. I knew it was burning since the previous day but something was very suspicious to me. My brother and I both commented numerous times how it looked like someone threw molotovs cocktails out of their car. Then we heard that is exactly what the arsonist did. It freaked us out we were right. On a side note I was surveying a pond and had to stop because the helicopters were going to start using it for water.
 
2008-06-05 05:43:59 PM
whodigsben: Placenta for Breakfast

Austin? Palm Bay? That couple you met...the guy didn't happen to be a fat Asian dude?


No, it was a 30-something white yuppie couple with their perfect child.
 
2008-06-05 05:45:08 PM
GoSurfing: We need to organize a Brevard county fark party one of these days.

There are lots of places to get drunk around here. Maybe once Megs opens back up...

Placenta for Breakfast: "WE KNOW!!! We have units on the way. Good-bye."

And they weren't talking about police!
 
2008-06-05 05:45:39 PM
Needlessly Complicated: In related news: People still go to arcades...?

Hey! I live at the Jersey Shore--arcades are in our blood. I still go every once in a while for my pinball & skeeball fix.

And remember--even God loves skeeball.

www.dogma-movie.com
 
2008-06-05 05:46:27 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

"The roads were falling apart then and from what I hear they still haven't been improved. Parts of Palm Bay Road near Harris are little better than a gravel road."

Yeah funny you should mention that. They are reconstructing Palm Bay road right now from Harris to 1-95. Improved drainage with it. I'm not sure if it is a lane expansion to 6 lanes, but at least they are doing something
 
2008-06-05 05:46:51 PM
GoSurfing: deadapostle

Yeah what is also crazy is not a single greenlight toward that.

I tried submitting quite a few links on that fire, and obviously nothing.

I was working out in Valkaria when the fire started that Monday. I knew it was burning since the previous day but something was very suspicious to me. My brother and I both commented numerous times how it looked like someone threw molotovs cocktails out of their car. Then we heard that is exactly what the arsonist did. It freaked us out we were right. On a side note I was surveying a pond and had to stop because the helicopters were going to start using it for water.



Without trying to be funny I'm really surprised we didn't hear about someone in Palm Bay pulling a gun on fire fighters telling them to stay the hell off his property as the fire slowly crept towards his house. That sort of crap seemed to happen there.
 
2008-06-05 05:46:52 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

Well then you had more Palm Bay refugee company that you thought, because my brother and his wife just moved from Austin. Palm Bay does indeed suck, but I differ with you on the schools sucking part. I had a great education at PBHS. Then again I was in all the AP classes, etc. They really didn't seem to give a fark about the kids on the left side of the bell curve.
 
2008-06-05 05:47:14 PM
Placenta for Breakfast
"Palm Bay is to Florida what Florida is to the United States."

Precisely.

I grew up on beachside for a while, I remember having to go out to Palm Bay for an occasional party or errand. The people I met, and the places I saw. Ugh! Endless white trash assembly line of mullet hair and tattooed, two-fisted drinkin' single moms.

That town deserves it's own Fark tag:

img209.imageshack.us
 
2008-06-05 05:48:33 PM
GoSurfing: Placenta for Breakfast

"The roads were falling apart then and from what I hear they still haven't been improved. Parts of Palm Bay Road near Harris are little better than a gravel road."

Yeah funny you should mention that. They are reconstructing Palm Bay road right now from Harris to 1-95. Improved drainage with it. I'm not sure if it is a lane expansion to 6 lanes, but at least they are doing something


Amazing!! That's been needed for a decade.
 
2008-06-05 05:50:19 PM
whodigsben: Placenta for Breakfast

Well then you had more Palm Bay refugee company that you thought, because my brother and his wife just moved from Austin. Palm Bay does indeed suck, but I differ with you on the schools sucking part. I had a great education at PBHS. Then again I was in all the AP classes, etc. They really didn't seem to give a fark about the kids on the left side of the bell curve.


Actually I'd support that. :-) Around here they seem to leave AP kids to their own devices while pandering to the kids with a lot of "opportunity".

I only had experience with a single elementary school and it was bad. They had high teacher turn over and the ones they had I think were former East German prison guards.
 
2008-06-05 05:51:47 PM
I live in Palm Bay so I'm really getting a kick... well, actually I'm not. Aside from almost burning down the other week this place is dead. Gotta go 10 miles to Melbourne for any of the good stuff and even that's all going to crap. The mall use to have: an arcade, book store, several music shops, video store, Babbages, etc. Now 95% of it is food, clothing, shoes, cell phones, and jewelry. And those cell phone douchebags make you want to go postal. Too bad I'm stuck here for a few more years.

After growing up on the Asbury Park and Point Pleasant Boardwalks I can say one thing, these people have no idea what a real arcade is.

/getting drunk, going to have another drink
//wokka wokka wokka
///pew pew pew
////ding ding ding ding ding
 
2008-06-05 05:53:21 PM
DigitalCoffee

"After growing up on the Asbury Park and Point Pleasant Boardwalks I can say one thing, these people have no idea what a real arcade is."

Actually I do because I've surfed Point Pleasant and Manasquan Inlet. New Jersey is badass, and I've always thought so.
 
2008-06-05 05:53:47 PM
fiddle-faddle: Placenta for Breakfast
"Palm Bay is to Florida what Florida is to the United States."

Precisely.

I grew up on beachside for a while, I remember having to go out to Palm Bay for an occasional party or errand. The people I met, and the places I saw. Ugh! Endless white trash assembly line of mullet hair and tattooed, two-fisted drinkin' single moms.

That town deserves it's own Fark tag:


We went out to eat one day at a restaurant that had just opened and it was a biker bar. I didn't think we were going to get out of there.

There was another biker hangout in the same strip mall as a Winn-Dixie. I came out one night from the Winn-Dixie and a HUGE biker fight had broken out. I got knocked down by the huge ball of fighting bikers that was slowly moving up the walkway and spilling into the parking lot.

As I tell people it was no one thing that drove me bonkers about Palm Bay. It was just that every day something like the bikers would happen. It was like a dripping faucet. Eventually you want to rip the sink out.
 
2008-06-05 05:54:49 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

High teacher turnover? I think you're a little younger than me. I went to PB elem. and those teachers were there FOREVER. It is funny that you said "Palm Bay is the Florida of Florida," because I've said that for ages. Let me look for something and I'll be back with some comedy for you.
 
2008-06-05 05:55:02 PM
Jsc810: The last of the arcades are shutting down

They are? That's news to me:

Seaside Heights (new window)

Pt. Pleasant (new window)

Asbury Park (new window)
 
2008-06-05 05:56:39 PM
whodigsben: Placenta for Breakfast

High teacher turnover? I think you're a little younger than me. I went to PB elem. and those teachers were there FOREVER. It is funny that you said "Palm Bay is the Florida of Florida," because I've said that for ages. Let me look for something and I'll be back with some comedy for you.


No, with my kids. I didn't move to Palm Bay until after college.

The teacher with the tree root in her classroom taught in Melbourne, but it was the same school district.
 
2008-06-05 05:59:36 PM
Placenta for Breakfast: The teacher with the tree root in her classroom taught in Melbourne, but it was the same school district.

And to think that the Brevard Schools are considered some of the best in the state. I guess that's not saying much though.
 
2008-06-05 06:01:47 PM
I was talking about Palm Bay's dysfunction with a good friend who works for CNN. This was a couple years back. He went into CNN's database and sent me the following stories about PB, complete with his question, "What the hell is wrong with your hometown?"

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
11/09/2006 Tomorrowland employee David Hobbs is charged w/ sexual assault against teen girl

10/03/2006 Authorities in Palm Bay, Fla., released surveillance photos of a man believed to be breaking into homes and fondling women inside

08/15/2006 PALM BAY, Fla. -- Jerry Bonner, 63, was arrested late Sunday for an alleged neighborhood rampage that involved shooting an AK-47 assault rifle at police. ....He isn't out there to shoot anybody,said neighbor Ray Martin. He probably just had a bad hair day.

04/13/2006 Police detectives spent hours overnight questioning the man who they say was caught on tape in a Wal-Mart offering teenagers money in exchange for exposing themselves. Detectives located and arrested 45-year-old Russell Chapman of Palm Bay without incident after a viewer recognized him on television and called police.

03/02/2006 The southbound lanes of Interstate 95 in Palm Bay were reopened Thursday afternoon after a tractor-trailer loaded with fertilizer -- believed made with incinerated human waste -- flipped over. "It's a mess," said Yvonne Martinez, spokeswoman for the Palm Bay Police Department.

06/24/2005 Catfish Crosses Road -- (young woman on camera): "When i showed up this morning, this guy said there's catfish walking across the road... and i walked out and there was a catfish crossing the road, there were 2 or 3 of them walking back and forth back and forth."

08/27/2003 GRANDPARENTS HIRE HITMAN

08/23/2002 GREYHOUND CONVICTION - An 82-year-old woman accused of causing a disturbance on a Greyhound bus when asked to move farther back won't go to jail. Instead Irene Stewart of Palm Bay will pay 152 dollars in court costs and consult her physician about stress.

10/22/1998 LION & TIGER HOME - An animal lover has turned his backyard into a rescue mission for aging exotic animals. The move has upset some nearby residents - who are unhappy having lions and tigers as neighbors. However - there is no law to stop it.

09/30/1998 FROG INVASION - There has been an influx of poisonous frogs invading several area communities. The frogs are coming out of the deep woods into domestic areas. The frog is called the "Cuban tree frog". They're popping up in toilets, on the walls in homes, in backyard pools.

09/14/1998 BEANIE BABY BANDITS - A florist shop in Palm Bay, Florida loses 52-thousand dollars in Beanie Babies as the result of a couple of recent break-ins.

03/07/1997 CAVE TEEN - A homeless 17-year-old who lived in a cave for two months was back above ground Thursday but had an uncertain future.

03/26/1993 ABORTION BOOT CAMP - Pro-life activists attend Operation Rescue seminar to learn how to combat abortion clinics & doctors
 
2008-06-05 06:02:50 PM
XBox Live Arcade might have the games, classic and new (mmm Assault Heroes..) but it doesn't have the *feel* old arcades had.

I hope the few retro/hipster arcades out there survive. The arcade in the King of Kong was pretty cool, but I can't justify a pilgrimage.

During my honeymoon last year, I saw the Martha's Vinyard arcade from the bus, but it looked closed (mid-May). Another one looked like it had recently closed in Provincetown and "downtown" Hyannis looked like it should have had an arcade still going somewhere, since the town seemed trap in a 70s/80s time warp (in a good way).

There used to be really good beach arcades, but even those are a rare breed from the Outer Banks through Myrtle Beach and beyond. Ugh.

The DS and PSP are *not* arcade substitutes! Especially for pinball.
 
2008-06-05 06:03:55 PM
realjd: Placenta for Breakfast: The teacher with the tree root in her classroom taught in Melbourne, but it was the same school district.

And to think that the Brevard Schools are considered some of the best in the state. I guess that's not saying much though.


I grew up in Tampa and northeastern schools used to recruit heavily out of the Hillsborough County School District because of the caliber of students there. I moved to Texas before my senior year and I had already graduated under their system and I was beyond some of the classes they offered. They didn't offer calculus and the computer science teacher worked with me 1-on-1 as I already had two years of Pascal.

I'm told today though that they've gutted the schools there and they now suck. But I don't know anyone still there with kids to ask.
 
2008-06-05 06:04:40 PM
Keep in mind these stories don't include:

1) Vampire Rapist in Malabar

2) Elephant stampede, eventually put down by a Brevard Co. deputy

3) Good ol' William Cruse, the gunman who took over Winn Dixie and killed 6 people, all because he was tired of the kids on his lawn (for real, people, and not a Fark cliche.)
 
2008-06-05 06:05:19 PM
Placenta for Breakfast

From what you've just said, yeah, Palm Bay will drive you bonkers.

Just ask this guy: William Cruise (new window)

Pretty much the worst "get off my lawn" experience I can imagine. He killed 6 people (some of them kids) and wounded 14 others, took the Winn Diixe hostage at Sable Palm Square (corner of Babcock & Palm Bay Rd.) and also made the national news that night. I think I even might have once known one of the cops he killed that day.
 
2008-06-05 06:06:51 PM
vote on funding for a Members Only Jacket fashion show

(0_°)?! Where do you get the inspiration? What kind of things do you people dream of at night?

/baffled
 
2008-06-05 06:09:17 PM
whodigsben: Keep in mind these stories don't include:

1) Vampire Rapist in Malabar

2) Elephant stampede, eventually put down by a Brevard Co. deputy

3) Good ol' William Cruse, the gunman who took over Winn Dixie and killed 6 people, all because he was tired of the kids on his lawn (for real, people, and not a Fark cliche.)


Dammit, I was just about to post that!!

I knew people at work who worked with the Vampire Rapist.

Not all that newsworthy, but we had more suicides and attempts than you would think. I was paging another engineer one morning and someone told me he was dead. I said, "Ha ha" and kept trying. No, he had killed himself.

I worked in a lab with a bunch of people, some of whom I didn't know. One guy said he needed to go out to his truck. Next thing we knew we heard fire engines and ambulances. He had gone out to his truck and ate a 12 gauge. Yeah, right there in the company parking lot.
 
2008-06-05 06:12:34 PM
whodigsben

Holy crap, you beat me to it. William Cruse, the legend of Palm Bay suck.

(misspelled Cruse the first time)
 
2008-06-05 06:15:04 PM
It is good to see Jenkinson's still going strong in Point Pleasant! They (and the other arcade just to the north) got a *lot* of my (and mom's) money on trips there, even during the off season. Seaside Heights never really did anything for me though.

In 85 we took a weekend trip to Wildwood. Its amusement piers put everything else to shame to me back then, even Atlantic City.

It would be cool if one of the casinos had a retro arcade/redemtion game center, you know, for kids. But they make too much on table games to worry about fun any more. I found one arcade on the AC boardwalk, one at the end of the mall on a pier, and a few games in a building on Steel Pier during a trip in 2001, but they were pretty run down even then.

A lot of the arcade talent has moved on to casino's video slots and other gambling games mentioned in the article. It would be nice if they tried something new, but they really don't have to.
 
2008-06-05 06:15:28 PM
fiddle-faddle

Trust me. If it was jacked up and happened in Palm Bay in the 80s and 90s, I kept track, sort of like Chloe from Smallville. Or Fox Mulder.
 
2008-06-05 06:32:04 PM
GoSurfing: Actually I do because I've surfed Point Pleasant and Manasquan Inlet. New Jersey is badass, and I've always thought so.

Well watch your badass when you're up there cause (at least) Manasquan has some nasty currents most of the time. Although you could have some fun by going to Belmar and surfing at the fishing beach and pissing them all off :)

The main problem with NJ is that they never met a tax that they didn't like. At least you don't have to pump your own gas there.
 
2008-06-05 06:38:11 PM
WhyteRaven74: If there's an arcade around that has that, the full cabinet, I want to know where it is. I want, no, I need, to go there.

Santa Cruz, CA... Boardwalk 'Grand Arcade'

They have two different 'classic' sections. DoT is in the bigger one. I go just to play elevator action, defender/stargate, time pilot, 720, and about a dozen different pinball machines.

/had seven of my own pins at one time
//even an Addams Family and a Twilight Zone pre-release
///Favorite was Star Trek:TNG wide-body
 
2008-06-05 06:48:29 PM
NANCY'S MEAT PUPPET: Suicidal Writer: Do regular arcades even exist anymore? All I see are places like Dave and Busters (restaurant/entertainment house) or a few games in bowling allies. I haven't seen a standalone arcade in about 15 years. Same amount time since I have seen a drive-in theater.

We still have a drive-in theater here in the Reno-sparks area.


Ditto here in Kenosha Wi.
 
2008-06-05 07:14:23 PM
this was just posted on Digg. Coincidence?

Video arcades' last gasp
 
2008-06-05 07:23:07 PM
Jeebus. From what I've read on this thread, it sounds like Palm Bay should have burning coal mines underneath it, and it's presided over by a grizzled old Reeve who lives in a scrap yard, likes to play the organ, serves dinner on a model train, and has a prosthetic nose that looks like a dick!

"I'll be seeing you soon, banker!"
 
2008-06-05 07:33:17 PM
Placenta for Breakfast: I worked in a lab with a bunch of people, some of whom I didn't know. One guy said he needed to go out to his truck. Next thing we knew we heard fire engines and ambulances. He had gone out to his truck and ate a 12 gauge. Yeah, right there in the company parking lot.

What is that town, Silent farking Hill? Valkenvania? Ravenholm??
 
2008-06-05 07:46:34 PM
whodigsben: It is funny that you said "Palm Bay is the Florida of Florida," because I've said that for ages.

Oh, and we did pity you so, our poor, yokel neighbors to the north...It was like living on the border with Mexico, and looking over that fence. But with less Mexicans.


www.floridapeoplemagazine.com
 
2008-06-05 07:48:50 PM
I have a small arcade in my house. Thank the gods I don't live in Florida... and restricting arcades is stupid too.
 
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