Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Now Magazine)   Rolling Stone Ronnie Wood wants to hire dwarfs for his daughter's wedding to perform stunts like stealing ladies' hats   (nowmagazine.co.uk) divider line 71
    More: Silly  
•       •       •

3282 clicks; posted to Main » on 05 Jun 2008 at 11:53 AM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



71 Comments   (+0 »)
   

Archived thread

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2008-06-05 08:09:41 AM  
The wedding is at Stonehenge...
 
2008-06-05 08:14:27 AM  
no! We're not going to play bloody Stonehenge!
 
2008-06-05 08:22:28 AM  
"They're working on a theme based on the character of Puck."

yafh.com

Seems like an odd choice for a British wedding.
 
2008-06-05 08:33:31 AM  
we had dwarves at my wedding. they walked around with trays mounted on their heads, so we could put our drinks down.
 
2008-06-05 08:39:00 AM  
I had a car rear-end mine in a tailback once. The other driver got out, it was a dwarf, who said "I am not happy", so I said "well which other little f*cker are you then". And that's the absolutely true story of how a dwarf gave me a black eye.

not really
 
2008-06-05 08:44:58 AM  
Around here we call that a Fark party.
 
2008-06-05 08:49:40 AM  
When I was working up in Boston, there used to be a midget who would sit under a tree in Boston Commons and play the banjo for change...

Always made me smile. Must have given that little bastard a few hundred bucks over the course of five years...
 
2008-06-05 09:21:06 AM  
OlafTheBent: The wedding is at Stonehenge...

Damn you, you beat me to the Spinal Tap quote. Well played.
 
2008-06-05 09:24:35 AM  
Facts About Midgets:

If you hit a midget on the head with a stick, he turns into 40 glittering gold coins.

If you throw a midget into a tub of hot water, he makes sleepy-time tea.

If you kick a midget in the balls, he turns into 8 squirrels and they run off into the woods.

If you lose a fight with a midget, you become a midget.


/Patton pending
 
2008-06-05 09:28:11 AM  
actually, the wedding sounds pretty danm awesome...
i would LOVE a Shakespeare themed wedding with that much detail.

/can think of many morbid comebacks to that statement
//ophelia comes to mind...
 
2008-06-05 10:53:31 AM  
i240.photobucket.com
Will they be trampling a stage prop during the party?
 
2008-06-05 11:55:48 AM  
How are they supposed to reach the hats? What, nobody will notice a dwarf "surreptitiously" carrying around a step-ladder?
 
2008-06-05 11:57:48 AM  
1) Steal hats

2) ???

3) Profit!
 
2008-06-05 11:59:20 AM  
The Envoy: How are they supposed to reach the hats? What, nobody will notice a dwarf "surreptitiously" carrying around a step-ladder?

If he is tiptoing, that image is eight kinds of awesome.
 
2008-06-05 11:59:37 AM  
I think I speak for everyone when I say that hat-stealing dwarves would greatly improve any occasion one would care to name.
 
2008-06-05 11:59:38 AM  
Dude, I believe dwarves is the proper nomenclature.
 
2008-06-05 11:59:57 AM  
jayessell: 1) Steal hats

2) ???

3) Profit!


2) sell hats on Ebay?
 
2008-06-05 12:01:03 PM  
Oh man, if they're gonna recreate the Safety Dance, I'm so there!
 
2008-06-05 12:01:44 PM  
The Envoy: How are they supposed to reach the hats? What, nobody will notice a dwarf "surreptitiously" carrying around a step-ladder?
img115.imageshack.us
'And then I lost me hat'...
 
2008-06-05 12:01:47 PM  
"And oh how they danced..."
 
2008-06-05 12:02:13 PM  
Sybarite: /Patton pending

www.diggersrealm.com

Carry on.
 
2008-06-05 12:02:49 PM  
Underpants Gnomes > Hat-Stealing Midgets
 
2008-06-05 12:03:05 PM  
Approves. (new window)
 
2008-06-05 12:03:11 PM  
jayessell: 1) Steal hats

2) ???

3) Profit!


Jeebus. I actually did a spittake there. Farking brilliant, man. You have been favorited. Now it is your job to make me laugh for always.
 
2008-06-05 12:07:02 PM  
I hate to nit-pick, but stealing hats isn't a stunt. It's quite an accomplishment for the little guys, but it's not a stunt.

Unless they jump through a ring of fire first.
In which case I will smile and clap my hands in glee.
 
2008-06-05 12:07:14 PM  
He's available.
www.frontrowking.com
 
2008-06-05 12:16:20 PM  
They will be asked to surprise guests with stunts such as stealing ladies' hats.

Well thanks for farking up the surprise Now Magazine!
 
2008-06-05 12:17:03 PM  
(Wants to do the Mike Myer/SNL impression of Ronnie Wood drinking a martini and talking/laughing unintelligibly, but that joke really doesn't work well on the tubes. Unless you have video available. Which I don't. So I've got nothing. That's really my point. I've gone to all this trouble to say "I've got nothing.")
 
2008-06-05 12:17:03 PM  
Cunning Stunts?
 
2008-06-05 12:18:29 PM  
Ron Wood is still with us?
 
2008-06-05 12:24:07 PM  
What's the difference between a sneaky midget and a woman with a venereal disease?

One's a cunning runt...
 
2008-06-05 12:24:14 PM  
Ronnie Dobbs?
 
2008-06-05 12:24:45 PM  
This isn't silly, it's AWESOME. I've long wanted to hire midgets -- screw this "dwarf" crap -- to hang out at some of my parties and BBQs, because let' face it, everything is better with midgets.
 
2008-06-05 12:24:58 PM  
if keith richards is still with us, then ron wood most certainly is too. for as long as keith but not much longer. it'll be like one of those old person marriages where when one dies, the other goes soon after.
 
2008-06-05 12:26:48 PM  
El_Swino

I think I speak for everyone when I say that hat-stealing dwarves would greatly improve any occasion one would care to name.

Truer words, my friend. Truer words.

You can speak for me anytime.
 
2008-06-05 12:30:55 PM  
this woulda been perfect for hank (sniff)...
Good night, sweet prince.
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2008-06-05 12:32:22 PM  
Dude, I believe dwarves is the proper nomenclature.

Dwarfs is the grammatically preferred term, actually. Tolkien introduced us to "dwarves," he even acknowledged it was not correct, but for obvious reasons it stuck. Generally it's "dwarfs" for real people and "dwarves" for little fantasy critters with beards.

/am only 3'4"
//not really
///but it would be awesome if I was
 
2008-06-05 12:33:10 PM  
must be nice to sit around all day in a drug/alcohol induced coma , wander what too do with your gazillions of $$$$$

sheeesh
 
2008-06-05 12:34:35 PM  
shoegaze99: Dude, I believe dwarves is the proper nomenclature.

Dwarfs is the grammatically preferred term, actually. Tolkien introduced us to "dwarves," he even acknowledged it was not correct, but for obvious reasons it stuck. Generally it's "dwarfs" for real people and "dwarves" for little fantasy critters with beards.

/am only 3'4"
//not really
///but it would be awesome if I was


No, they all wanna be called "little people" or "LPs" which is odd because it puts "person" after the physical description and sounds like you're not quite a person.
 
2008-06-05 12:37:09 PM  
One never runs out of things to think about, when said one is richer than God.

/capitalism rocks
 
2008-06-05 12:37:49 PM  
skinink: Oh man, if they're gonna recreate the Safety Dance, I'm so there!

You. Are. Simply. Awesome. Thanks!

/you can dance
//you can dance
///everybody look at their hands...
 
2008-06-05 12:37:51 PM  
johnpiercy
must be nice to sit around all day in a drug/alcohol induced coma , wander what too do with your gazillions of $$$$$

Well, it doesn't suck...
 
2008-06-05 12:38:13 PM  
I suggested this, my wife vetoed it.

/not the stealing the hats part
//the dwarfs/midgets part
///everything's better with midgets.
 
2008-06-05 12:40:05 PM  
One time a fraternity hired a little person for a game of "Midget Toss". If I remember correctly, it was the guy Hank elskipo put a picture up of (he was on Howard Stern, right?)

Anyways, I thought it was horrid, and didn't go to he party.

/these guys could be real jerks sometimes
//months later these same guys offered a few of my friends money to wear bikinis and dance at one of their parties (WTF?) They were seriously tasteless (no one I knew did it)
 
2008-06-05 12:43:25 PM  
I worry about the damage a cabal of hat-swiping dwarves will do to Keith Richards' already tenuous grip on reality.
 
2008-06-05 12:44:08 PM  
Lollipop165: Anyways, I thought it was horrid, and didn't go to he party.

What I love is that dwarfs protested when they outlawed dwarf-tossing, because they were making good money getting thrown around.
 
2008-06-05 12:47:07 PM  
Only thing better would be midgets fighting monkeys. That would make for a party never to be forgotten.
 
2008-06-05 12:49:47 PM  
IXI Jim IXI

What I love is that dwarfs protested when they outlawed dwarf-tossing, because they were making good money getting thrown around.

They outlawed it? Really? I don't mind so much the "having fun doing something stupid" part. Hell, I don't mind that the little people get paid to do it.

But put it all together in this way and it just... well... I don't like it. Shouldn't be illegal though.
 
2008-06-05 12:52:23 PM  
Lollipop165: They outlawed it? Really? I don't mind so much the "having fun doing something stupid" part. Hell, I don't mind that the little people get paid to do it.

Yep. I know Florida did...apparently Staten Island as well. I THINK Rhode Island did the same, but I'm not sure.


But put it all together in this way and it just... well... I don't like it. Shouldn't be illegal though.


Some people just can't leave things the way you did and not go. :shrug:
 
2008-06-05 12:57:28 PM  
Can someone explain to me the difference between dwarves and dwarfs?
 
Displayed 50 of 71 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all



This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report