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(Independent)   The English male is either a repressed homosexual, a drunkard whose alcohol intake renders him incapable, a boarding school product deprived of his mother's love too early in life, or simply a woman-hater   (independent.co.uk) divider line 387
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12473 clicks; posted to Main » on 04 Jun 2008 at 5:33 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-06-03 11:40:42 AM  
So... Pink Floyd, then?
 
2008-06-03 11:46:30 AM  
all of the above?
 
2008-06-03 11:48:39 AM  
Sayeth some Canuck broad who assumes her own vag is Nirvana itself.
 
2008-06-03 11:49:47 AM  
oldfarthenry: Sayeth some Canuck broad who assumes her own vag is Nirvana itself.

Odd. I never knew you were British.
 
2008-06-03 11:53:40 AM  
I'm glad Tigger is all of the above; I don't want to have to know more than one Brit.
 
2008-06-03 11:54:15 AM  
Pfft tags are for queers.
 
2008-06-03 11:55:04 AM  
Well, if she will go out with right-wing upper class twits what does she expect?
 
2008-06-03 11:55:41 AM  
An uncle of mine was a sailor on British destroyers in WWII. He told the story of a doctor and nurse team who came to "educate" the sailors on the dangers of unprotected sex with ladies of easy virtue in port.

Apparently the advice at the time was, if you didn't have a condom for protection, you should urinate immediately after intercourse, the theory being that this would cleanse the urethra and at least give the sailor a chance of washing out whatever microbe was making its way upstream. "So," questioned the nurse rhetorically, "What is it you want to do, IMMEDIATELY after sexual intercourse with a woman?"

"Slap her," replied one of the sailors.

QED.
 
2008-06-03 11:56:35 AM  
She can just fark off. Whiny ass biatch.

/Getting drunk later
 
2008-06-03 11:58:02 AM  
major-kong: Slap her," replied one of the sailors.

that's hilarious
 
2008-06-03 11:58:46 AM  
Jenthelibrarian: Well, if she will go out with right-wing upper class twits what does she expect?


You put the point across better than me.

Any men that have been to boarding school are a bit farked up. With the Soggy Biscuit and the Daisychain games haunting their memories.
 
2008-06-03 11:59:23 AM  
Nabb1: oldfarthenry: Sayeth some Canuck broad who assumes her own vag is Nirvana itself.

Odd. I never knew you were British.


Ironically enough, I have dual citizenship (Brit/Canuck).
I guess I'm a sexually-dissatisfied & impotent `Britnoock'.
 
2008-06-03 12:07:26 PM  
I thought all Brits were like Dudley Moore in Arthur? Is this not true?
 
2008-06-03 12:11:03 PM  
Trivia Jockey: I thought all Brits were like Dudley Moore in Arthur? Is this not true?

Yep. Especially the girls :-)
 
2008-06-03 12:12:12 PM  
Jenthelibrarian: Trivia Jockey: I thought all Brits were like Dudley Moore in Arthur? Is this not true?

Yep. Especially the girls :-)


I need to get coffee of my monitor now. That's funny.
 
2008-06-03 12:14:04 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2008-06-03 12:14:50 PM  
Unavailable for comment:
img.villagephotos.com
 
2008-06-03 12:15:29 PM  
That headline is completely inaccurate. The "or" at the end should've been "and/or."
 
2008-06-03 12:16:21 PM  
i215.photobucket.com
 
2008-06-03 12:17:47 PM  
They're good for a laugh at the pub. That is, until they find out you're American and give you the same tired speech you've heard a hundred times.

/not bitter
//Scotland FTW
 
2008-06-03 12:19:11 PM  
"She suspected that if she had ever ended up in the bedroom with any of them, she would have been invited to engage in something involving whips, chain and dildos - but that is speculation, because she never got that far"

Sounds like a pretty reasonable start to an evening's shagfest.
 
2008-06-03 12:21:20 PM  
oldfarthenry: Sayeth some Canuck broad who assumes her own vag is Nirvana itself.

I'm just glad Canadians take an equal-opportunity approach to looking down their noses at people who live in more important, interesting countries than their own.
 
2008-06-03 12:25:29 PM  
www.comicmonsters.com

None of the above. He also kicked Subby's ass and farked his mom at the same time.
 
2008-06-03 12:40:28 PM  
We have one of two options here, and trying to choose between them will prove challenging:

1) The virility of the male population of an entire country is lacking

2) The subject of the article is sexually repressed and lashing out over her own insecurities

Hmmm, normally I'd go with one person being farked up rather than an entire country, but then again it is England. 1) it is.
 
2008-06-03 12:40:39 PM  
"Dead?!? I just thought she was English..."
 
2008-06-03 01:06:05 PM  
YOU! Yes YOU! STFU, willya???

www.bjornetjenesten.dk
 
2008-06-03 01:15:35 PM  
Would some British guy please toss a hump at this maple-leafed trainwreck so she'll stop wasting space on the intarweb tubes with woeful tales of dongless evenings?
 
2008-06-03 01:39:47 PM  
It's all those all-boys schools. Buggery is an elective in most English education systems.
 
2008-06-03 02:21:39 PM  
Sir Roderick Glossop: oldfarthenry: Sayeth some Canuck broad who assumes her own vag is Nirvana itself.

I'm just glad Canadians take an equal-opportunity approach to looking down their noses at people who live in more important, interesting countries than their own.



Naw, we love the British. We even worship their Emperor, or something like that.
 
2008-06-03 02:31:20 PM  
Rum, sodomy, and the lash.
 
2008-06-03 02:34:50 PM  
Gunther: 2) The subject of the article is sexually repressed and lashing out over her own insecurities

No, it's two.

Quote her: "It's the story of a Canadian woman who gets a job on a right-wing tabloid in London and ends up dating a lot of crap British men, and the comic turmoil that ensues."

Riiiiiight. You have the sex life of Ann Coulter most likely. Nobody wants that.
 
2008-06-03 02:45:15 PM  
We could have told you that.
 
2008-06-03 03:07:52 PM  
British men aren't gay.

img117.imageshack.us

They are just dandy.
 
2008-06-03 03:18:26 PM  
"The English male is a repressed woman-hating closeted homosexual who at boarding school turned to drugs and alchohol as a way of coping with being deprived of his mother's love too early in life, and now sets himself to making laws, rules, regulations and restrictions to ensure every child born in Britain fares as bad or worse than he."


And there you have it.
Gentlemen, I now present you with Tony Blair.

michaelgreenwell.files.wordpress.com
 
2008-06-03 03:33:33 PM  
I only look gay because of my jeans.

But other than that I aced this test.
 
2008-06-03 03:36:46 PM  
Tigger: I only look gay because of my jeans.

But other than that I aced this test.



I dare you to go get arse-over-tit and come back in here and comment.
 
2008-06-03 03:37:41 PM  
I actually can't I"m with clients at the moment. I should be able to get shiatcanned in the airport lounge though if anyone is interested in listening to non-sensical eurofag disco crossover rubbish.
 
2008-06-03 03:44:23 PM  
Tigger: I actually can't I"m with clients at the moment.

Make you make the case against yourself quite solid here chap. Any real man worth his salt would have his clients swimming with him deep in cups of isley scotch. But since you are a spineless wanker, you wouldn't have the balls to even offer the poor sods you are presently boring with a drink.
 
2008-06-03 03:47:17 PM  
Make you make the case against yourself quite solid here chap. Any real man worth his salt would have his clients swimming with him deep in cups of isley scotch. But since you are a spineless wanker, you wouldn't have the balls to even offer the poor sods you are presently boring with a drink.


I can defend with complete honor my drinking with clients credentials. Since I work in advertising they demand it. Plus you're not considered 'edgey and creative' if you don't get ballsed up and do something dumb once a trip.

Isn't going to happen this second though!
 
2008-06-03 03:50:38 PM  
Tigger: I can defend with complete honor my drinking with clients credentials. Since I work in advertising they demand it. Plus you're not considered 'edgey and creative' if you don't get ballsed up and do something dumb once a trip.

Isn't going to happen this second though!


Ahhh very good, carry on then.

/Advertisers like fishies, it makes them lie better
 
2008-06-03 04:17:35 PM  
Tigger: I should be able to get shiatcanned in the airport lounge though if anyone is interested in listening to non-sensical eurofag disco crossover rubbish.


As a matter of fact, I am.
 
2008-06-03 04:19:42 PM  
You forgot: ugly, lazy and disrespectful.
 
2008-06-03 04:22:54 PM  
You forgot: ugly, lazy and disrespectful.

Actually I can afford to be lazy and disrespecful only because I am startlingly attractive.
 
2008-06-03 05:09:51 PM  
"It's kind of like Sex in the City meets Bridget Jones."

Is it possible to cram that much suck into a single TV show?
 
2008-06-03 05:18:07 PM  
One of my friends (who is Thai) is currently working in the UK, heading up a project at a software house. This is her first time working in the UK, however she just finished a 4 month stint in Australia, and has worked in a couple other countries I can't remember.

Anyway, she's cute, early 30's, has a great personality, and smart as whip (two BAs, Master's Degree, I think she focused in Neural Networking if I remember correctly).

So far, she hates British men. She didn't complain about the Australians, had no complaints about US men when she lived here, but almost every day has a new story for me about British men.

Basically she says they're all insecure, and seem to have two modes, "insecure and quiet", and "drunk, insecure and loud".
 
2008-06-03 05:59:31 PM  
ShawnDoc: Basically she says they're all insecure, and seem to have two modes, "insecure and quiet", and "drunk, insecure and loud".

She should stop working with computer nerds.
 
2008-06-03 07:17:28 PM  
I for one am shocked and appalled that Mr. Right didn't fully embrace the concept of being a performing monkey - eagerly jumping through flaming courtship hoops - whilst kowtowing to your every whim of the one-way street of courtship (i.e. Solidified a book and television deal, action figures were probably in the works but everyone knows the English and apparently sex-journos with a clear agenda are actionless.)

I mean really what's not to love? Especially, when it has been established that you make a living by documenting your sexual flailing in a right-wing tabloid?.  Dear god, this fact alone would be sexual chocolate to the perfect mate.   Oh, right that would have blown the whole thesis.  Nevermind.
 
2008-06-03 07:39:54 PM  
steevmit: She should stop working with computer nerds.

She didn't have a problem with them in the US, Australia, or anywhere else she's worked (I think France?). Only when she got the UK. So I think the UK part plays a bigger role than that they work in software.
 
2008-06-03 08:18:05 PM  
I guess I'm the last one. See what happens when you reject the nice guy for the asshole?
 
2008-06-04 12:44:20 AM  
img397.imageshack.us

What farker said that?
 
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