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(Some Guy)   Shop owner says sign advertising "Hidden Pleasures" adult entertainment was not meant to suggest naughty stuff. He's going to sell gourmet foods in a building with few windows   (eagletribune.com) divider line 61
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6398 clicks; posted to Main » on 30 May 2008 at 4:26 PM (7 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   

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2008-05-30 02:08:20 PM  
I guess he'll just have to return that 16-foot "Butthole Pleasures" banner in Impact font.

Jeez. You try an open a strip mall proctology practice, and there's no end to the hassle.
 
2008-05-30 02:23:31 PM  
I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.
 
2008-05-30 02:56:45 PM  
NightOwl2255: I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.

*Runs to patent office as fast as he can*
 
2008-05-30 04:32:20 PM  
What a farkin' liar!
 
2008-05-30 04:32:59 PM  
Mayor James Fiorentini: THIS SIGN IS MISLEADING!

/puts away checkbook
 
2008-05-30 04:34:36 PM  
FTFA: adult entertainment specialty store

Seriously? How the hell is this a restaurant?!?

/ SHENANIGANS!!!

www.nvnews.net
 
2008-05-30 04:36:25 PM  
Well, just as long as it doesn't involve any butt play, 'cause hiding things up there is a gay pleasure!
 
2008-05-30 04:37:09 PM  
Maybe he shoulda called it "My Secret Shame" or "Occluded Desires"
 
2008-05-30 04:38:11 PM  
HEY He said "Vermont chocolates and specialty cheeses."
As a big guy ( 6'2" 255lbs) that is adult entertainment to me I love Chocolate.
 
2008-05-30 04:38:52 PM  
griffer: Well, just as long as it doesn't involve any butt play, 'cause hiding things up there is a gay pleasure!

Unless it's a watch
 
2008-05-30 04:40:05 PM  
You know, people forget that the brain is the largest erogenous zone.

www.listphile.com
 
2008-05-30 04:40:06 PM  
NightOwl2255: I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.

Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket walk around feeling cocky all day.
 
2008-05-30 04:42:34 PM  
Raging Thespian: NightOwl2255: I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.

Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket walk around feeling cocky all day.


Confucius say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
 
2008-05-30 04:43:10 PM  
Eric_PDX: Seriously? How the hell is this a restaurant?!?

Maybe he sells alcohol. Adults-only.
 
2008-05-30 04:44:21 PM  
I hope they have these:
http://www.divinecaroline.com/ext/article_images/edibleanus.jpg
 
2008-05-30 04:46:20 PM  
Rusty McSukit: Confucius say: Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.

Confucius say: Man who go to sleep with itchy butt wake up with smelly finger.
 
2008-05-30 04:46:49 PM  
Spazzmodeus:
I hope they have these:
http://www.divinecaroline.com/ext/article_images/edibleanus.jpg


That's got NSFW all over it.
 
2008-05-30 04:47:59 PM  
img252.imageshack.us
Will he have sexy cakes?
 
2008-05-30 04:48:59 PM  
FTA:

selling items that would appeal to adults, such as Vermont chocolates and specialty cheeses.

and

he hoped to capitalize on the fact that the city's largest housing project will be opening across the street from his building.


Targeted marketing. You're doing it wrong.

 
2008-05-30 04:49:25 PM  
Cagey B: I guess he'll just have to return that 16-foot "Butthole Pleasures" banner in Impact font.

Jeez. You try an open a strip mall proctology practice, and there's no end to the hassle. asshole


FTFY
 
2008-05-30 04:49:32 PM  
FTA: "Coming soon, Hidden Pleasures, an adult entertainment specialty store."

This, kids, is why diction is important. He meant an entertaining specialty store for when people will be throwing dinner parties, wine tastings, orgies, etc...

Also FTA: He said his sign was intended to bring attention to his plans for opening a combined restaurant, lounge and store - selling items that would appeal to adults, such as Vermont chocolates and specialty cheeses.

"What we were going to try and create," stated Difflin in a subsequent interview, "was a comfortable atmosphere where adults could enjoy chunks of dark, hard chocolate and creamy white cheese without feeling judged for their overindulgence in the sensual explosion of gustation."
 
2008-05-30 04:50:17 PM  
He's right however. If the Mayor had an issue, they should have asked and not simply assumed.
 
2008-05-30 04:51:00 PM  
Come, try our footlong "sausages" ...

/got nothin'
 
2008-05-30 04:51:39 PM  
Diffin said he was surprised to read in The Eagle-Tribune that the sign in the front window of his building misled people to believe he planned to sell adult items.

Insert fail pic of your choice here.
 
2008-05-30 04:54:20 PM  
Welcome to the Land of the Free.
As long as the government thinks you are being tasteful.
 
2008-05-30 04:55:51 PM  
"Hidden Pleasures - Come on in For A Faceful"
 
2008-05-30 05:01:27 PM  
"entertainment" != cheese

"pron" != distasteful
 
2008-05-30 05:03:16 PM  
What, like hidden in the cake?
 
2008-05-30 05:07:52 PM  
He's a dirty liar and that town is full of busybodies. Let them have each other.
 
2008-05-30 05:08:31 PM  
Constance Velocity: "entertainment" != cheese

"pron" != distasteful


Therefore, cheese is distasteful?
 
2008-05-30 05:08:47 PM  
"We had every reason to believe it was something other than a restaurant, and certainly not something like a religious curio shop."

So if I start a religion that uses sex toys during services, I can open a shop in Haverhill?

/female priests are welcome in my religion
//naughty lingerie under the vestments is encouraged
///not a Catholic
 
2008-05-30 05:12:39 PM  
Raging Thespian: NightOwl2255: I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.

Confucius say: Man with hole in pocket walk around feeling cocky all day.


+1
 
2008-05-30 05:16:00 PM  
Hidden Pleasures

You mean like the hooker trapped in the basement?

/so it's a store that sells locks, chains, and cages
 
2008-05-30 05:16:48 PM  
"We now have about 22 restaurants located within a one-block radius of the post office. If he (Diffin) wants to open a restaurant, we'll help him in any way we can."

Hey, great. What better way to ensure success in the restaurant business than having about 22 competitors within two blocks?
 
2008-05-30 05:17:32 PM  
Crouching penis, hid in dragon.
 
2008-05-30 05:25:10 PM  
A store like that shouldn't be located in an upstanding part of town. The next thing you know, there'll be people masticating all over the place!

/chronic masticator
 
2008-05-30 05:36:09 PM  
Sounds to me like his shop will be far better known than it would have been without the ambiguous sign. And he didn't have to pay a dime for all the advertising he is getting from being farked.
 
2008-05-30 05:40:41 PM  
Trance750: He's right however. If the Mayor had an issue, they should have asked and not simply assumed.

What assumption did he make? There's a sign on a shop saying it's going to be an adult novelty shop. Then Difflin tries to play the sign off as an attention getter, saying the business was going to be a restaurant that served chocolate & cheese? And now Difflin's not even going to open this nifty little brainchild.

Please.
 
2008-05-30 05:43:28 PM  
Tenchiro: Sounds to me like his shop will be far better known than it would have been without the ambiguous sign. And he didn't have to pay a dime for all the advertising he is getting from being farked.

I didn't read in the article that he was farked at all. The mayor even said the town would support him w/his restaurant business. Across from the housing projects. Next to 22 other restaurants in a 2 block radius.

Difflin just "suddenly" decided not to open his after the mayor asked him about the sign.
 
2008-05-30 05:47:35 PM  
www.showmii.com
"While we're waiting, why don't we search for treasure?"
 
2008-05-30 05:49:23 PM  
studebaker hoch: Crouching penis, hid in dragon.

"Crouching Tiger; Hidden Dragon": The new tell-all book by Sigfried and Roy. On sale now at your local Hidden Pleasures adult entertainment store.
 
2008-05-30 05:55:34 PM  
studebaker hoch: Crouching penis, hid in dragon.

farm1.static.flickr.com
 
2008-05-30 06:03:31 PM  
Where's the Dumbass tag on this one?

Not for the silly sign, but for the business idea. Across the streets from a housing project is a terrible place for an upscale gourmet place in the first place. Put that kind of thing in a fancy neighborhood. (Or should dumbass be for the author of the article? Maybe it's more of a housing subdivison or gated community or something, not a "housing project" in the sense that most people read as a gov't project?)
Secondly, though sex sells,and is a sure attention getter, once you've got their attention, you need them to know the true nature of what you're advertising or it's all a waste. It's a great idea to lure their eye and their minds to your sign with the naughty name and idea of sex toys or strippers, but then you've got to link it with the sensuality and decadent pleasure of the delicious food you sell. Or at least make it obvious that that's really what you're selling. No one is gonna be happy to turn into your parking lot hoping to buy a butt plug or get a lap dance, and find out that you're just a restaurant. If someone is really in the market for something dirty, they're not gonna stop and be like "Oh, this isn't a porn store? Oh, Well, I guess I'll sample a wine flight and a nice Brie and some imported Prosciutto." They're gonna be embarrassed and leave and go to the real porn store. There's nothing to gain by gaining the attention of people that aren't going to spend money with you. And it doesn't do anything at all to attract the people that are looking for gourmet food. If I were looking for chocolates and cheeses, I wouldn't know that I should stop at a place that advertised itself as an "adult entertainment" store. I'd go to a place that was clearly a restaurant.

And the city was being dumbasses for not just asking him about it. Before they jumped to conclusions, they should have pointed out how it looked to them, and asked him what sort of business he was running. If he was really genuinely missing the sexual connotations of the sign, then they could have quietly pointed it out. If he meant for the sign to be sensational and sexy, then they could have pointed out that it made no business sense, and was pointlessly tacky without having him get so offended.
 
2008-05-30 06:38:45 PM  
PunkTiger: A store like that shouldn't be located in an upstanding part of town. The next thing you know, there'll be people masticating all over the place!

/chronic masticator


Clearly you've never been to Haverhill. The "upstanding part of town" lies just beyond the town line.
 
2008-05-30 06:39:28 PM  
I'm pretty sure the "housing projects" in this story are the "projects" most people think of. A bunch of high-rent condo housing projects went up by my favorite German restaurant.

A housing project doesn't have to be a run down craphole. Any time a place where people live is built, it can be called a housing project. This is especially the case for places that aren't big cities and people aren't aware of the government "projects".

I think this guy just wanted some publicity, so he put an ambiguous sign up. Then everyone got their knickers in a twist, and now he decided to say "screw it".
 
2008-05-30 06:44:07 PM  
should be "in this story aren't the"
 
2008-05-30 07:23:33 PM  
Whenever I have pleasures to hide, I hide them behind a big sign that says "hidden pleasures".
 
2008-05-30 07:28:36 PM  
Link (new window) NSFW
 
2008-05-30 07:59:24 PM  
mmmmmm Erotic Cakes
 
2008-05-30 08:17:08 PM  
NightOwl2255: I thought "Hidden Pleasures" was a pair of pants with a hole in the pocket so you could rub one out while sitting at your desk.

Bonus: You can also count to six with one hand!
 
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