Ichiro is a quotable treasure.

Sadly, he's right about this, too. I finally am getting TV in my apartment next week and every M's game before the break outta this slump is gonna be an absolute chore.

/Go M's
//Fire Bavasi

But will these struggles arouse the fires in his inmost soul?

Ah go punch yourself in the face.

careerstudent: But will these struggles arouse the fires in his inmost soul?

With the zeal of a challenger.

The Mariners are presently switching between two DHs:

1) Jose Vidro, who is hitting .225/.268/.333
2) Jeff Clement, who is hitting .167/.286/.250
For comparison, the collective Arizona pitching staff: .189/.235/.253

That's symbolic of what's wrong with their season. They have a lineup spot where the only job is to hit, and they can't get it done remotely well. Their entire bench doesn't have one reliable bat. They regularly field a lineup with six players with OBP of .300 or less. Even if their pitching wasn't mediocre, they'd be losing a lot of 3-2 games.

Fire Bavasi
Fire McLaren
Fire Chuck Armstrong

Off to buy some beer....lots of beer.

/Go M's

Better than playing in cleveland :)

ChimpNinja

Clement got sent back down to Tacoma. Ol' Turbo is now the exclusive shiatty DH for the M's, although at Clement has that whole excuse of being a rookie and all. Vidro makes $7 mil to clog up the basepaths whenever he actually does make it on base and never hit homers.

And firing Bavasi or McLaren isn't going to solve the problem, although it would certainly help. Give the entire front office an enema, replace the good ol' boys with people that build rosters and coaching staffs on actual talent rather than personality (GASP!) and watch this team contend in 2011.

/For the record, that's
//Fire McLaren
///Fire Bavasi
////Fire Armstrong
//Fire Lincoln

Kouvre: //Fire Lincoln

Sneaky bastard, I almost forgot about him.

Billy Bavasi to to Baseball GM what Bush is to the Presidency

The two could switch jobs and nobody would notice the difference.

I think the Mariners should take the Glengarry Glen Ross approach and declare that chartered flights are for winners. Until that time, get your ass to the back of the Greyhound and shut up. If I have to suffer watching and listening to these games, the players can at least suffer until they get to the game.

This serves the ownership right for adding their $5 premium game ticket fee this season. Greed will lead you nowhere.

I'm not a Mariners fan, but I love Ichiro.

If I were to say that I'm enjoying this season, I would have to punch myself in the face, because I would be lying.

/Yo USSM

chimp_ninja: The Mariners are presently switching between two DHs:

Why the fark haven't they looked at Barry Bonds?!

Mariner's stink? That's about as new a headline as "sun will rise tomorrow"

Bob Ondeeznuts: Greed will lead you nowhere.

That's only true in stories.

tdpatriots12: chimp_ninja: The Mariners are presently switching between two DHs:

Why the fark haven't they looked at Barry Bonds?!

The same reasons that nobody else has bothered with him.

HINT: It starts with an "s" and rhymes with "Noid."

Re Jeff Clement's poor numbers thus far: (all together now): SAMPLE SIZE. The guy is raking in AAA and he will hit in the majors. Vidro's advantage over him is that he's done what's truly necessary to earn Bill Bavasshat's respect: turn 30.

Actually, Clement should be their catcher for the next 10 years, but of course a certain retarded monkey just re-signed Kenji Johjima for another 3 years at $8m per year.

IMDWalrus: The same reasons that nobody else has bothered with him.

HINT: It starts with an "s" and rhymes with "Noid."

Yeah, and I'm sure they can cover their own asses with regards to liability. He could also instantly fix their DH problems.

Their pitching has been Texas Rangers-like.

They just made my Tigers, who swept them, look good. And that's saying something.

The perfect remedy for my struggling Yankees. Wish we had Detroit next but you can't get too greedy.

tdpatriots12: Yeah, and I'm sure they can cover their own asses with regards to liability. He could also instantly fix their DH problems.

But
i) the Mariners cannot compete this season, and even 2001 steroid Barry couldn't make them competitive,
ii) Bonds would almost certainly not play for league minimum,
iii) Bonds is spectacularly unpopular among fans, and M's attendances are already at a 10 year low.

Even if Bonds makes them a better teams what's in it for the Mariners?

Poor, poor Ichiro.

chimp_ninja: For comparison, the collective Arizona pitching staff: .189/.235/.253

To be fair, you're including at least one really good hitter in there.

Kouvre: Vidro makes $7 mil to clog up the basepaths

Real people use this term?

Daniels:
Kouvre: Vidro makes $7 mil to clog up the basepaths

Real people use this term?

Plus, don't you have to be on base sometimes to clog up the basepaths? That .273 OBP (not a typo) leaves those basepaths gloriously unclogged.

puffy999: Randy Johnson makes up for that. (though he hasn't played too much this season)

True, but he only has 10 AB. Owings has 31. But yes, point taken.

Don't forget, Vidro has a vested option once he reaches a certain number of ABs. He's well on his way to doing that, so they'll be stuck with his empty production for another year or be forced to eat an 8 million dollar contract.

I figured they overperformed last year, but I didn't predict they'd be THIS bad. Forget contending; these guys could lose 120.

It's not that they're losing; it's HOW they're losing. It's one thing to go cold and get swept. The Red Sox could lose two of three to Detroit at home and no one would bat an eye. That's baseball. The '08 M's are something else.

Prior to ekeing out 2 of 3 against the Padres, the only team in the majors with a worse record, by a combined score of 11-10, AT HOME, the last series the M's won was a 2-game set against Oakland on April 16-17. But at least in April, it was close. Then things got ugly:

Swept by the Yankees, 5-1, 6-1, 8-2.
Lost 3 of 4 vs. Texas, outscored 17-1 in last 3.
Lost 2 of 3 against the White Sox.
Lost 2 of 3 vs. Texas.
Won series against San Diego at home -- barely.
Swept by Detroit, allowing 10 runs/game.
Lost to Yankees 13-2

These are not teams that are striking fear into the hearts of opposing clubs. The Yankees, Rangers, Padres and Tigers are all sniffing cellars, tho some are expected to contend at some point. With two months to work with, the trend indicates the disappointing April was the BEST the M's could do. Their hot-to-cold difference seems to range from losing to losing badly.

I hope the M's turn it around, but when you're not only losing, but getting CRUSHED by the WORST teams in the league, you're on a whole new level of suck that makes the souls of the Cleveland Spiders restless.

I just watched Richie Sexson hit a two run jack to make the game vs. the Yankees a six run game!

/Lots and lots of beer.

Super Chronic:
Plus, don't you have to be on base sometimes to clog up the basepaths? That .273 OBP (not a typo) leaves those basepaths gloriously unclogged.

Me: Vidro makes $7 mil to clog up the basepaths whenever he actually does make it on base.

I'm well aware that he's hitting like Mario Mendoza this season, as my original sentence in full shows, plus he has zero power.

Kouvre:

I'm well aware that he's hitting like Mario Mendoza this season, as my original sentence in full shows, plus he has zero power.

Mea culpa, you're absolved. I just read the guy who was quoting you.

So, to sum up the M's this year: bad pitching, bad hitting, bad fielding. But, um, they've got really good special teams?

Emphasis on "Special."

Also, Clement is going to be a very good catcher... for someone else. Due to the aforementioned retarded monkey extending Johjima's contract, we'll end up having to use him as trade bait for the next washed up vet the M's decide to count on for a comeback season.

I've been a fan of Ichiro since he came over, then I read some of the books about Japanese baseball and the more I read of Ichiro's comments, the more I think he is a guy who is in it for the game, not the dollars.

redmid17: The fact he's also facing 14 counts of perjury and one count of obstructing justice might also have something to do with it. A player on payroll who's spending his quality time in Leavenworth isn't too valuable.

I'm pretty sure they could work an "incarceration clause" into a contract.

Daniels: redmid17: The fact he's also facing 14 counts of perjury and one count of obstructing justice might also have something to do with it. A player on payroll who's spending his quality time in Leavenworth isn't too valuable.

I'm pretty sure they could work an "incarceration clause" into a contract.

Or trade for Junior as DH and not have to worry about that, just making sure they can make enough hot dogs during the game.

I've watched most of the games this year, and to be fair, the SP was pretty damn good the first month.

It seems that when everyone began to realize that, because of the M's anemic 'O', they would need to basically shut the opponent out for a chance to win a game, the wheels strarted to fall off.

/More beer? Yes please.
//Tired of punching myself in the face