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(Sun Sentinel)   Florida has three of the nations top ten beaches, however if you go to one you are at risk of being run over by a drugged up school teacher on the run from the law for having sex with a 15 year old alligator   (sun-sentinel.com) divider line 64
    More: Florida  
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10021 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 May 2008 at 6:55 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-05-22 03:26:07 PM  
There is a lot of win in that headline.

/First?
 
2008-05-22 03:33:53 PM  
For starters, great headline subby. You make the Florida tag proud.

The two west coast beaches are awesome. Ft DeSoto used to make that best beach list, it's still a great beach, which also has great fishing, camping, and boating. I was surprised by the choice of Key Biscayne. That is my old stomping grounds and back in the day, that beach was your best bet on getting run over by a drunk teacher. The park service must have really cleaned it up! The water off that cape is ripe with fish and lobster. It's a sanctuary now, but before most people were into lobster and before the santuary, we would dive the sunken houses and debris in Stiltsville (new window)and clean up on those tasty creatures.
 
2008-05-22 03:39:21 PM  
Much as I dislike Sarasota these days, Sieta Key is a great beach.

Of course, I have no idea why they ran this article in the middle of cummer when the summer humidity makes being outside quite uncomfortable after 2 minutes.

/Yes, my skin is pasty white...
 
2008-05-22 03:55:02 PM  
I am glad to be out of Orlando.

The nearest beaches (New Smyrna and Cocoa) always were the places you heard of when there was a shark attack.
Plus the jellyfish.
Plus the fact that the water is soooo freaking warm it is not refreshing at all.

The the freshwater.. okay, the spring-fed rivers were cool (Rainbow Springs was the only one I went to that was worth a damn).. but outside of that.. the fresh water is inhabited by gators and snakes.. no thanks, also it's stale water that stinks.

I'm sure there are other areas of Florida with better water and less of a chance at being sharkbait.. but I got the fark out of that god-awful state so fast I never got a chance to find out.

What I never got to do while there was what dogdaze just said.. about the lobstah diving. I did go scalloping once.. that was a blast.
 
2008-05-22 04:01:24 PM  
Dr.Knockboots: I am glad to be out of Orlando.

The nearest beaches (New Smyrna and Cocoa) always were the places you heard of when there was a shark attack.
Plus the jellyfish.
Plus the fact that the water is soooo freaking warm it is not refreshing at all.

The the freshwater.. okay, the spring-fed rivers were cool (Rainbow Springs was the only one I went to that was worth a damn).. but outside of that.. the fresh water is inhabited by gators and snakes.. no thanks, also it's stale water that stinks.

I'm sure there are other areas of Florida with better water and less of a chance at being sharkbait.. but I got the fark out of that god-awful state so fast I never got a chance to find out.

What I never got to do while there was what dogdaze just said.. about the lobstah diving. I did go scalloping once.. that was a blast.


No offense, but natives all over the state rejoice when someone leaves.
 
2008-05-22 04:30:40 PM  
TheDumbBlonde: No offense, but natives all over the state rejoice when someone leaves.

Uh, no. We envy them.
 
2008-05-22 04:50:18 PM  
I will gladly take that risk!

/Debra Lafave
//fap fap fap
 
2008-05-22 04:54:08 PM  
Here in Michigan we have no alligators, sharks, jelly fish, jobs, and you don't have to shower after swimming in the great lakes.
 
2008-05-22 05:02:19 PM  
"The runners-up on Leatherman's list of best beaches this year were Hanalei Beach, Hawaii; Siesta Beach in Sarasota, Fla.; Coopers Beach in Southampton, N.Y.; Coronado Beach in San Diego; Main Beach in East Hampton, N.Y.; Hamoa Beach, Hawaii; Cape Hatteras, N.C.; Cape Florida State Park near Miami; and Beachwalker Park on Kiawah Island, S.C."


What no Musard Hanky L.P. (left pocket?) THIS LEATHERMAN LIST IS BULLSHIATE!

Oh my bad that's Leatherman's Handbook.
 
2008-05-22 05:34:12 PM  
Unright: Uh, no. We envy them.

*ding*
 
2008-05-22 06:57:47 PM  
Ok ok, I guess there are three good things about florida.
 
2008-05-22 07:00:23 PM  
Nothing to see here.
Move along.
Keep moving away.
 
2008-05-22 07:04:03 PM  
wait, there are four good things about florida, those three beaches and the fact that i dont live there. yay! i went there once for work, where was i... palm beach or something, wherever the breakers hotel was. man... that really made me miss san diego.
 
2008-05-22 07:05:55 PM  
Maybe the 3 top beaches you can drive to from Kansas. The actual top 10 U.S. beaches are all in Hawaii, and only a local news rag from Florida would be dumb enough to claim any different...

/no ka oi
 
2008-05-22 07:10:15 PM  
Best beach ever:

Kailua, Hawaii.

/It's on the North Shore of Oahu.
//Spent part of my vacation there in '99.
 
2008-05-22 07:10:20 PM  
This headline should run in the Florida primaries.

I don't even need to read the article after that. :)

+1 subby
 
2008-05-22 07:10:20 PM  
I never really understood why I should like to be at a beach (except for the chicks of course) its hot, sandy, and the ocean is nasty and unsafe to swim in.

Give me a nice lake, a twelve pack of beer and some fishing gear. (except for there are no chicks in bikinis, damn)
 
2008-05-22 07:10:31 PM  
Having lived on both coasts of Florida, I found the west coast to be the best one.

I took Dr. Knockboots suggestion last summer and went to the springs he suggested and they were awesome.
 
2008-05-22 07:10:36 PM  
PLEASE, WON'T SOMEONE THINK OF THE ALLIGATORS
 
2008-05-22 07:12:49 PM  
Nice try on the headline subby, but you should have specified the drug of choice as crack.
 
2008-05-22 07:14:03 PM  
The dolphins here are just asking for it if your not into the alligator thing.
 
2008-05-22 07:15:03 PM  
Dumbass, you have to wait another 3 years on that baby.
 
2008-05-22 07:15:15 PM  
Impudent Domain: I never really understood why I should like to be at a beach (except for the chicks of course) its hot, sandy, and the ocean is nasty and unsafe to swim in.

Give me a nice lake, a twelve pack of beer and some fishing gear. (except for there are no chicks in bikinis, damn)


How did you ever figure out how to get on to that durgnabbin interputer box, jethro?
 
2008-05-22 07:15:40 PM  
If you can't surf it, it is not a beach...
 
2008-05-22 07:15:57 PM  
Caladesi is actually quite beautiful.
 
2008-05-22 07:16:13 PM  
Unright: TheDumbBlonde: No offense, but natives all over the state rejoice when someone leaves.

Uh, no. We envy them.


No...we rejoice (we really don't want you here.)
 
2008-05-22 07:19:58 PM  
TheDumbBlonde:
No offense, but natives all over the state rejoice when someone leaves.


THIS

This guy's lists are pretty useless at this point. Once a beach makes the Top Spot it is removed from the list. So, it's really the "Top Ten Beaches That Have Never Been Good Enough to Be the Best Beach"
 
2008-05-22 07:24:14 PM  
img292.imageshack.us
 
2008-05-22 07:27:57 PM  
Wasn't that an ad?
 
2008-05-22 07:28:56 PM  
Could we (USA) sell Florida to Cuba?

/Just asking
 
2008-05-22 07:31:46 PM  
walnuts55: Could we (USA) sell Florida to Cuba?

/Just asking


Then the Cubans would just move to Alabama. Better cigars, though. Could be win/win.
 
2008-05-22 07:33:43 PM  
bunner: walnuts55: Could we (USA) sell Florida to Cuba?

/Just asking

Then the Cubans would just move to Alabama. Better cigars, though. Could be win/win.


The Cubans would deport the Alabamans so could be a win/lose they could end up in my state
 
2008-05-22 07:34:01 PM  
www.football-refs.com

Personal Fail . . .

Unnecessary wording resulting in no humor on the play . . .

10 yards . . . 2nd down.
 
2008-05-22 07:45:40 PM  
Unright: Much as I dislike Sarasota these days, Sieta Key is a great beach.

Of course, I have no idea why they ran this article in the middle of cummer when the summer humidity makes being outside quite uncomfortable after 2 minutes.

/Yes, my skin is pasty white...


It's the middle of summer right now?

Uh, not only is it NOT the MIDDLE of summer, its still SPRING! :P
 
2008-05-22 07:49:49 PM  
The_Sponge isn't the north shore of Oahu primarily heavy surf? Hanalei Beach on Kauai was downright gorgeous. Ke'e beach just up the road was even better. And relatively secluded, which is a plus for me. Hopefully I can find a decent beach in Puerto Rico when I make the trip in a month or so.
 
2008-05-22 08:06:45 PM  
Not to mention this:
www.cairns-australia.com

Or this:
www.smh.com.au

Or this:
www.totaltravel.com.au
Australian beaches FTW!
 
2008-05-22 08:08:24 PM  
Bahia Honda in the Keys has great natural sand and surf -- if a bit sterile, and lots of RV's :)
 
2008-05-22 08:13:57 PM  
Ah, yes...the beautiful, pristine Florida beaches.


img501.imageshack.us
 
2008-05-22 08:24:29 PM  
cubsfan07: Ah, yes...the beautiful, pristine Florida beaches.

Don't forget the overweight newyorkers in thongs and umbrellas cawing to each other. And the twigs and junk washed ashore. And seagulls.
 
2008-05-22 08:25:28 PM  
Oh yeah and beyond the beach..
Link (new window)
 
2008-05-22 08:43:46 PM  
we've gotten this far with no pics of the actual florida beachgoers in bikinis? for shame!

i102.photobucket.com

don't worry, there's some eye bleach included

i102.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-22 08:54:46 PM  
cubsfan07: Ah, yes...the beautiful, pristine Florida beaches.


now illegal on all public beaches in Sarasota County, but the white trash smoker tourists from up north still have to be ticketed.

hilarious to watch the same people bash Florida on this site but save their pennies to enjoy their dream vacation here. keep the irony flowing, it amuses me.
 
2008-05-22 09:11:05 PM  
rawkus:

Puleeze #1 doesn't have the color to be a floridian

Impudent domain:

Except for all of the gators in the lakes in Florida.

Unright:

Middle of summer?

Just because you can enjoy the beaches ~ nine months out of the year does not make may summer
 
2008-05-22 09:13:02 PM  
Gonad the Ballbarian: If you can't surf it, it is not a beach...

i tend to agree. those gulf beaches like siesta key *are* nice but there's still something just wrong about a beach without decent waves.
 
2008-05-22 09:13:30 PM  
Wait, the alligator was only *15*? Cue Hanson.
 
2008-05-22 09:13:48 PM  
Only if you don't count US protectorates as part of the nation.

This is a beach

lordargent.com

/ Megan's Bay, St Thomas, USVI, I used to live ~3-4 miles from this beach when I was younger. (now that I'm an adult, It's too damn expensive to move back there permanently, at least for now).
 
2008-05-22 09:15:59 PM  
RealFarknMcCoy2: Australian beaches FTW!

Cranking up saturation levels in Photoshop FTW.
 
2008-05-22 09:36:20 PM  
I gre up in Sarasota and the best thing about the place was, is and always will be the Siesta Key Beaches.

However, there was this one beach on the north part of Lido Key that my grilfriend and I were rather fond of. It was a great place to go after dark and fark our brains out.



/no way I'd do that now
//young, stupid and horny back then
///both of us
 
2008-05-22 09:40:07 PM  
Aulus:

/no way I'd do that now
//young, stupid and horny back then
///both of us

Phail, are you dead?
 
2008-05-22 10:09:40 PM  
GTDigger: hilarious to watch the same people bash Florida on this site but save their pennies to enjoy their dream vacation here. keep the irony flowing, it amuses me.


Actually I find it funnier when people move here thinking it's going to be a 24/7 vacation, and then reality bites them in the balls when they realize the rest of the unhappy New Yorkers moved here with them.
 
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