FARK.com: (3618700) Beyonce Knowles says she is too famous to go to church. Wouldn't get through the door with that big head anyway

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		Beyonce Knowles says she is too famous to go to church. Wouldn't get through the door with that big head anyway (nowmagazine.co.uk)		44
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1567 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 21 May 2008 at 11:13 AM | Favorite | share:

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pnjunction		2008-05-21 10:21:42 AM

I'm too famous to go to church. Someone I know might see me there and know that my heathen ass is only there check out the girls for potential deflowering.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat		2008-05-21 11:16:46 AM

Jesus begs to differ, sweetie.

bottsicus		2008-05-21 11:18:47 AM

Subby: Beyonce Knowles says she is too famous to go to church. Wouldn't get through the door with that big ~~head~~ ass anyway

FTFY.

absoluteparanoia		2008-05-21 11:19:25 AM

Head of a pin, head of a pin.

LonMead		2008-05-21 11:19:41 AM

Sunday best, as designed by Mama Knowles

DipsomaniacDawg		2008-05-21 11:23:01 AM

She's too hot to go to church.

No one wants to listen to a sermon with a stiffy (I hope).

seminole87		2008-05-21 11:24:48 AM

her ass is fat

MooseMuffin		2008-05-21 11:25:55 AM

DipsomaniacDawg: She's too hot to go to church.

No one wants to listen to a sermon with a stiffy (I hope).

This. It wouldn't be right for her to go to church, knowing it will fill the congregation's heads with impure thoughts.

NeuroticRocker		2008-05-21 11:30:46 AM

I'm too Athiest to go to church

TheNewJesus		2008-05-21 11:33:22 AM

You want to go to church in peace? Do it outside of SoCal or NYC.

And maybe you shouldn't call TMZ before you head out and tell them exactly where you are going...

Dialectic		2008-05-21 11:33:46 AM

Beyonce Knowles says she is too famous to go to church. Wouldn't get through the door with that big ~~head~~ ASS anyway

There, fixed fo' y'all!

carmody		2008-05-21 11:34:40 AM

She's right. People would be staring at her and bugging her the whole time. This is why Elvis rented out theaters at night...so he and the Memphis Mafia could enjoy a movie in peace like a normal person.

EmmaLou		2008-05-21 11:35:12 AM

If she continued to go to the same church every week, the novelty would wear off for people. Yes, there are famous people, but once you see a famous person for the first time...the shock and awe has pretty much worn off.

I respect that she doesn't want to be bothered though, I can't imagine how annoying that can be. I also think it's good that she's not all blabby about her personal life. That's wear celebrities get in trouble.

Beyonce might have a big ass, but being bootylicious has made her a millionaire. Good for her.

Lizard		2008-05-21 11:35:53 AM

'I can't really go to church any more, which is a shame,' she says.
Sadly,This is very true. I've witnessed the same reaction if a celebrity comes to my house of worship. It's all cool until the end of service where Pastor will walk them through the crowd to his office. Folks get starstruck....

Heroic Poser		2008-05-21 11:38:49 AM

Sure. Thank God for the awards, but step on Him when he wants you to come to His house.
Keep it up and karma will have you doing auto/boat speed shows with Bobcat Goldwaithe.

jameseatsbabies		2008-05-21 11:39:28 AM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jesus begs to differ, sweetie.

Who?

Tartha De Tear		2008-05-21 11:40:02 AM

..as I kneel in my big church...

emocomputerjock		2008-05-21 11:40:24 AM

No way, the Church of Scientology actively courts celebrities to attend their services. She can go, she's just not trying hard enough.

doubleofive		2008-05-21 11:47:40 AM

To be fair, she just doesn't want to distract people away from the POINT of going to church. They don't go to see famous people, they go for worship.

CPennypacker		2008-05-21 11:57:31 AM

doubleofive: To be fair, she just doesn't want to distract people away from the POINT of going to church. They don't go to see famous people, they go for worship.

Same thing

generaltimmy		2008-05-21 11:59:45 AM

seminole87: her ass is fat

That is a good thing. I know razor sharp knees are a prerequisite for Fark declared hotness. She is annoying to me, shut her up.

glave27		2008-05-21 11:59:52 AM

Easy fix. Just buy your own little church like Mel Gibson has or like what Dwayne Wade bought for his mom.

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat		2008-05-21 12:16:49 PM

jameseatsbabies: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jesus begs to differ, sweetie.

Who?

Jesus. My gardener. Managed to turn my old water garden into a vine garden. Guy's a miracle worker, I tells you.

pnjunction		2008-05-21 12:19:13 PM

EmmaLou: If she continued to go to the same church every week, the novelty would wear off for people. Yes, there are famous people, but once you see a famous person for the first time...the shock and awe has pretty much worn off.

Umm...except for the crowd of new people that would show up every week hoping to get a look at her in person.

LonMead		2008-05-21 12:33:23 PM

Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: jameseatsbabies: Angry Drunk Bureaucrat: Jesus begs to differ, sweetie.

Who?

Jesus. My gardener. Managed to turn my old water garden into a vine garden. Guy's a miracle worker, I tells you.

Hey, that sounds like my gardener. Tell 'em about that thing does around lunchtime, with the bread and the fish...

CarnySaur		2008-05-21 12:38:03 PM

I have nothing bad to say about Beyonce Knowles. Nothing. Except maybe "Break up with Jay-Z."

wage0048		2008-05-21 12:58:22 PM

Who's Beyonce Knowles?

drkleindmd		2008-05-21 01:01:17 PM

She is trying to stay relevant. It's cute. She thinks people give a shiat about her. Awwwww.........

blubberknife		2008-05-21 01:05:39 PM

I have no response to that.

AiryAnne		2008-05-21 01:07:56 PM

Don't plenty of famous people go to church already? Think I read recently that Alton Brown goes every Sunday.

She's just an idiot. And she ruined Goldmember.

devirginizer		2008-05-21 01:18:53 PM

TheNewJesus: You want to go to church in peace? Do it outside of SoCal or NYC.

And maybe you shouldn't call TMZ before you head out and tell them exactly where you are going...

This.

I miss the days when it was harder for celebrities to whore out their personal lives for attention and career boosts.

Magnir		2008-05-21 01:51:03 PM

I'd nail her and bury her for 3 days.

doubleofive		2008-05-21 01:59:58 PM

AiryAnne: Don't plenty of famous people go to church already? Think I read recently that Alton Brown goes every Sunday.

She's just an idiot. And she ruined Goldmember.

I thought Goldmember ruined Goldmember.

He did for me.

Lab Monkey		2008-05-21 02:37:03 PM

Beyonce's head : church door :: camel : eye of needle?

EwoksSuck		2008-05-21 02:50:37 PM

I'd worship that for a dollar.

gonzojohn		2008-05-21 03:15:26 PM

Her ass is beautiful.

A shame her head is empty.

rukusrazor		2008-05-21 03:45:23 PM

Just came to say...

www.hollywoodtuna.com

head-over-heels in self ritousness

stereogum.com

"...The games the children play..."

generaltimmy		2008-05-21 03:55:26 PM

CarnySaur: I have nothing bad to say about Beyonce Knowles. Nothing. Except maybe "Break up with Jay-Z."

Why, she needs someone to replace her father as a father figure. He is uber rich and would have no shot with her if he wasn't!

wpmulligan		2008-05-21 04:35:47 PM

Woof

CrunchyCheetoFingers		2008-05-21 04:53:39 PM

Weak.

If Bush can go to church, she can too.

KikiD		2008-05-21 05:26:47 PM

Bush rarely goes to church.

/The Clinton's, however...

id209		2008-05-21 07:28:23 PM

LonMead
network.news.com.au

Sunday best, as designed by Mama Knowles

jackandwater		2008-05-21 08:58:18 PM

Too famous to go to church? That is right up there with "Don't you know who I am?" (stated with righteous indignation)

wouldn't pee on her face if she was dying of thirst in the desert