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(Heinz)   Heinz is looking for witty things to print on the front of their ketchup bottles. Let's come up with something   ( divider line
    More: Survey  
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72 clicks; posted to Main » on 22 Nov 2002 at 2:23 AM (14 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

224 Comments     (+0 »)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

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2002-11-22 10:55:52 AM  
Heinz -- SUCK IT, MAYO!!!
2002-11-22 10:55:57 AM  
"Show you--show me--Kikkoman!"
2002-11-22 10:56:19 AM  
"Every time you masturbate, God kills a catsup bottle."
2002-11-22 10:58:15 AM  
Tastes like chicken! No, wait...
2002-11-22 10:58:51 AM  
Great on fries, unless you're a pinko commie Belgian!!!
2002-11-22 11:00:03 AM  
I saw this label campaign a while back. My favorite to date: "Better than Mayonaise"
2002-11-22 11:00:17 AM  
"Accompanying Kraft Dinner in the finer Canadian restauraunts since 1911."
2002-11-22 11:01:15 AM  
Okay, don't know why I added voting to that. Disregard it. Sorry!
2002-11-22 11:03:23 AM  
"Less religious rantings than Dr. Bonner's Soap!"
2002-11-22 11:05:20 AM  
"Heinz - this bottle of ketchup is the most important item you will buy this week, hell why not buy 2"
2002-11-22 11:12:23 AM  
Heinz--its NOT semi-coagulated blood!

That probably wouldn't sell ketchup, though, would it?
2002-11-22 11:12:58 AM  
Heiz - only your arteries will be thicker
2002-11-22 11:15:35 AM  
"Heinz - The Second most imporatant ingrediant in Ketchup Soup"
2002-11-22 11:18:25 AM  
Wesley Willis likes it. So should you.

suck a cheetahs dick....
2002-11-22 11:20:00 AM  
Don't worry, ketchup's comin'
2002-11-22 11:24:22 AM  
GratefulDead - I get it. Tasteless.
2002-11-22 11:31:56 AM  
Ketchup- Getting Solid Snake out of jail cells since 1998.
2002-11-22 11:32:49 AM  
Heinz - 57 Chemicals and Preservatives.
2002-11-22 11:33:30 AM  
A MacBeth-ian one: "Out damn ketchup out!"
2002-11-22 11:36:14 AM  
Please pour more liquid sugar over your food.
2002-11-22 11:40:34 AM  
Heinz least its not Huntz Catsup...
2002-11-22 11:43:13 AM  
Actually, it's funnier as:

"A Delightful Accompaniment to Kraft Dinner, Served in the Finest Canadian Restauraunts since 1911."
2002-11-22 11:47:29 AM  
"Heinz Ketchup - Everything taste better with Heinz. Even leprechauns. Metal ones.
2002-11-22 11:51:30 AM  
"Heinz Ketchup - Everything taste better with Heinz. Even leprechauns. Metal ones."
2002-11-22 11:52:04 AM  
Kethcup - it looks like blood, but doesn't tase as good.

2002-11-22 11:52:53 AM  
Ack, sorry, didn't mean to post that twice :(
2002-11-22 11:54:10 AM  
On front:
"Made with real killer tomatoes."

On back:
"WARNING: Do not agitate or hit bottle."
2002-11-22 11:55:21 AM  
Ketchup - it looks like blood, but doesn't taste as good.


Spell check what?
2002-11-22 11:55:25 AM  
"No produce was harmed in the making of this product"
2002-11-22 11:57:11 AM  
"No produce was harmed in the making of this product"

Stupid voting!
2002-11-22 12:02:08 PM  
Heinz... melts in your mouth, not in your hand.

Heinz... good for keepin the urges away.

Heinz... Oh what a feeling!

|-|31|\|z... 700 1337 f0 j00!1

Heinz... tastes just like chicken.

Heinz... good enough for me to poop on

thats enough for now
2002-11-22 12:04:02 PM  
Heinz....otherwise you'd have to find out what food really tasted like
2002-11-22 12:08:11 PM  
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet ketchup
2002-11-22 12:12:18 PM  
2002-11-22 12:14:54 PM  
Heinz Catsup: The color of Michael Jackson's penis after a play-date. Shamon!
2002-11-22 12:20:42 PM  
"What they put cheese on tha window for?"
2002-11-22 12:21:47 PM  
"Heinz: Because I can't go to sleep unless I'm next to your left breast..."
2002-11-22 12:22:09 PM  
2002-11-22 12:26:50 PM  
bigdaddy - big groan of disgust over here.
2002-11-22 12:27:30 PM  
Red Purple Green Mystery Color Tomoto-based condiment.
2002-11-22 12:29:03 PM  
Heinz - "It's a trap"
2002-11-22 12:29:26 PM  
Heinz..."Practice safe sex, where a condiment."
2002-11-22 12:37:17 PM  
Heinz - The Dr. Pepper of the ketchup world.

I suck...
2002-11-22 12:42:25 PM  
Serpico & Sn0wsuit4:
Tonight we stop the engine of the WORLLLLLD! Meet at the cirle K, 1am.
2002-11-22 12:43:51 PM  
"Farkin' Ketchup"

by Heinz!
2002-11-22 12:47:33 PM  
"Heinz - We got Ellen high"
2002-11-22 12:55:45 PM  
Will Dagny be there?
2002-11-22 12:59:14 PM  
Heinz: Because Microsoft can't be the only one running a monopoly.

Heinz: The next generation sports drink.

Heinz: They'll break my legs if I don't sell 1 billion bottles...

Heinz: Goes great with your girlfriend!

Heinz: Now with tomatos!

Heinz: Because your blood now has one more friend!

Heinz: Having your blood jerking down your arteries at a turtle pace since 1980!
2002-11-22 01:01:30 PM  
Heinz - The slow red tide.
2002-11-22 01:01:35 PM  
"Some hairy guy is banging your spouse right now."
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