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(MSNBC)   Texas sinkhole becomes home to alligator, locals solve the problem in a very Texas way: plan to add more gators, build a monster truck track around it, and turn it into tourist attraction   (msnbc.msn.com) divider line 86
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9924 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2008 at 9:14 PM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-05-17 07:37:30 PM
And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.
 
2008-05-17 07:44:01 PM
They could've just called this guy:
i227.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-17 09:17:24 PM
useless without pics
 
2008-05-17 09:22:09 PM
Danny Diaz, a Texas Parks and Wildlife game warden, said a patch of crude oil floating on the east side of the crater might irritate the alligator's skin, but the reptile is using the water on the other side.

Everything about this situation is wrong.
 
2008-05-17 09:22:33 PM
WOW am I growing weary of "the south/midwest/texas is stupid" elitism.
 
2008-05-17 09:23:14 PM
i can't wait 'till the first redneck gearhead flips his truck into the central gator pond. it'll be just like the roman coleseum all over again!
nom...nom...nom.
 
2008-05-17 09:23:16 PM
So rather than spend money to fix it, they're going to use it to make money?

Hey, it works.
 
2008-05-17 09:23:55 PM
You forgot about building a MEGACHURCH next to it with a shopping center inside.
 
2008-05-17 09:25:11 PM
Can we feed all Texans to the gators? Ok, I meant everyone but the Austinites and the few other cool peeps there?

/seriously not impressed w/ Texass
 
2008-05-17 09:29:06 PM
Antidamascus: Danny Diaz, a Texas Parks and Wildlife game warden, said a patch of crude oil floating on the east side of the crater might irritate the alligator's skin, but the reptile is using the water on the other side.

Everything about this situation is wrong.


This.
 
2008-05-17 09:30:40 PM
elffster: Can we feed all Texans to the gators? Ok, I meant everyone but the Austinites and the few other cool peeps there?

/seriously not impressed w/ Texass


Thanks, Elfster. This story happened northeast of Houston in Daisetta.

There's a lot of good about Texas. It's just that it's so big, there's more crazies than the average state, see...

Oh, hell, it's true. Theyr'e all nuts except Austin. We stay in the middle to keep the rest of the state firmly planted in reality.

Austin. The blueberry in the tomato soup.

www.nospeedbumps.com
 
2008-05-17 09:31:24 PM
I would have figured a *Texas Solution(tm)* would have involved an execution
 
2008-05-17 09:31:58 PM
Deep down, did we all expect anything less?
 
2008-05-17 09:34:41 PM
GORDON: WOW am I growing weary of "the south/midwest/texas is stupid" elitism.

It helps them feel better about themselves. It's all they've got really.
 
2008-05-17 09:34:58 PM
It has swallowed up oil tanks

ok

and barrels, tires, telephone poles

ok, ok, ok

and several vehicles in Daisetta

WTF? You can't see a sinkhole getting bigger and move your car?
 
2008-05-17 09:39:44 PM
Texas is the most independent state in the Union...BAR NONE. So to those of you who can't take it...

"You may all go to Hell. And I will go to Texas!" - Davy Crockett
 
2008-05-17 09:40:00 PM
Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

Ahhh and yet you forget the other 49 states that helped put him into the white house. Here's a solution for ya: Shut the fark up

/Texan, and damn proud of it.
//Alligators are great, especially when fried.
 
2008-05-17 09:40:37 PM
I imagine the aligator doesn't have a current exit strategy.
 
2008-05-17 09:43:21 PM
Fun facts:

Texas is the only state where it's allowable to fly the Texas flag at an equal height as the stars and stripes.

Texas has it written into their constitution that they can secede at any time. We don't really need the other 49. We're here to be polite, and to add to your land mass.

Texas' capital is taller than the US capital building. And when they took that lady down off the top of the dome to have her cleaned? Man, is she ugly!
 
2008-05-17 09:46:09 PM
I would have preferred this story if it fit the headline. I'm more impressed by the number of farkers who didn't even bother to check.
 
2008-05-17 09:48:28 PM
scottydoesntknow: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

Ahhh and yet you forget the other 49 states that helped put him into the white house. Here's a solution for ya: Shut the fark up

/Texan, and damn proud of it.
//Alligators are great, especially when fried.


He didn't have the support of all of the other 49 states.

/NYer and damn proud of it.
//Texans are great, especially when fried.
 
2008-05-17 09:52:04 PM
blick: i can't wait 'till the first redneck gearhead flips his truck into the central gator pond. it'll be just like the roman coleseum all over again!
nom...nom...nom.


Hell, that's probably in the plans, son.

"AAAnnndd...comin' round the bend is BIG DYNO....uh-oh, looks like them boys have taken a spill into Johnny Gator's pond! Johnny's a'swimmen towards Ralph...Hector's headed for the ladder...WHOA! Johnny's got his teeth clamped in Ralphie's thigh!"
 
2008-05-17 09:52:34 PM
deadapostle: I would have preferred this story if it fit the headline. I'm more impressed by the number of farkers who didn't even bother to check.

THIS.

No mention anywhere of a monster truck addition/more gators.
 
2008-05-17 09:56:46 PM
deadapostle: scottydoesntknow: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

Ahhh and yet you forget the other 49 states that helped put him into the white house. Here's a solution for ya: Shut the fark up

/Texan, and damn proud of it.
//Alligators are great, especially when fried.

He didn't have the support of all of the other 49 states.

/NYer and damn proud of it.
//Texans are great, especially when fried.


Enough of them to get him elected...twice. Now I'll never defend Bush (cause he's an obvious dumbass), but don't rest the blame on Texas. Hell we didn't even spawn him, blame Connecticut for that.

/NYers are too stringy, can't fry those spineless critters.
 
2008-05-17 10:00:39 PM
Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

It simply amazes me how bad everyone lives seem to be because of George Bush. I don't neccessarily like the guy, but why does so many people on FARK bring him up in a subject that has nothing to do with him? I feel sorry for you Saborlas.....your life must really suck.
 
2008-05-17 10:01:52 PM
You want to know something really funny?

Texas has far surpassed California in wind energy:
2008, total wind generators installed (Source: AWEA (new window))
Texas: Installed: 5,316.65
Under Construction: 1,997.101

California: Installed: 2,483.83
Under Construction: 290.002

Funny how that is.
 
2008-05-17 10:03:17 PM
southaustin: Fun facts:

Texas is the only state where it's allowable to fly the Texas flag at an equal height as the stars and stripes.

Texas has it written into their constitution that they can secede at any time. We don't really need the other 49. We're here to be polite, and to add to your land mass.


Wrong and wrong.

http://www.snopes.com/history/american/texasflag.asp

http://www.texassecede.com/Texas%20Secession%20Facts.pdf
 
2008-05-17 10:06:18 PM
Hempmonkey: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

It simply amazes me how bad everyone lives seem to be because of George Bush. I don't neccessarily like the guy, but why does so many people on FARK bring him up in a subject that has nothing to do with him? I feel sorry for you Saborlas.....your life must really suck.


because dubya's suck is so great, so epic, that it consumes everything
 
2008-05-17 10:16:17 PM
AdamK: Hempmonkey: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

It simply amazes me how bad everyone lives seem to be because of George Bush. I don't neccessarily like the guy, but why does so many people on FARK bring him up in a subject that has nothing to do with him? I feel sorry for you Saborlas.....your life must really suck.

because dubya's suck is so great, so epic, that it consumes everything


OK Guys....come on....I want to hear exactly how George Bush being president has affected your life so bad. And I can't wait to hear everyone say the economy, or gas prices, your job, or whatever. And I can't wait to hear the first one that truly honestly thinks that He was the only person in Washington that put us in Iraq. Go back to Government class and learn how it works.
 
2008-05-17 10:16:53 PM
Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.


The governor is a pretty weak position to have in Texas politics. About the only real power he has is the ability to veto. He is the chief budget officer in name only. He makes a reccomendation to the legislature each year, but they don't have to listen and can do whatever the hell they want regardless of his reccomendation. The lieutenant governor has more power than him. Most people dont give a damn who is in the governor's seat. It's as close as you can get to a figure head position in Texas politics.
 
2008-05-17 10:16:59 PM
One of my best memories of living in Texas was going down to the 4x4 mud truck races on Fri/Sat nights at this field just south of San Antonio. Everyone would show up with their truck and park lining the two straight mud tracks. We'd all sit on tailgates or lawn chairs, pop open what we brought in the cooler, and the racing heats would begin. When your heat was called, you jumped in, drove to the start line and let it fly when the christmas tree lights got down to the green. First one to the end of their mud bog won.
 
2008-05-17 10:18:50 PM
re: because dubya's suck is so great, so epic, that it consumes everything

got $600 last week. he's cool.
 
2008-05-17 10:21:09 PM
I have met nice Texans, they were fine people.

But then I saw Wild Bluebonnets blathering posts here on Fark..well, you know the rest. Plus, when I drive through Texas I get really weird vibes. Sure I liked the hill country (thats middle Tx, right?) and its pretty and lots of open plains and desert-y looking stuff in the western part, but...Meh. I get weird vibes there. I did not get the same in California, Oregon, or even Washington state and god KNOWS there are lots of weirdos there.

On second thought, Oregon did give me weird vibes, especially around Medford. Maybe its the elevation (its way up there, at least 2000 feet, isnt it? Its (as they say there) hella high. Yes, they say hella. You would too if you were all gacked out on the 497 different kinds of Chronic in the PNW).
 
2008-05-17 10:26:28 PM
T-Luv: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.


The governor is a pretty weak position to have in Texas politics. About the only real power he has is the ability to veto. He is the chief budget officer in name only. He makes a reccomendation to the legislature each year, but they don't have to listen and can do whatever the hell they want regardless of his reccomendation. The lieutenant governor has more power than him. Most people dont give a damn who is in the governor's seat. It's as close as you can get to a figure head position in Texas politics.



well...other than controlling the departments and enacting the legislation that is passed you pretty much just nailed the office of the President of the United States too.

really is amazing how people seem to think the President is apparently a 4 or 8 year dictator.
 
2008-05-17 10:26:38 PM
elffster: I have met nice Texans, they were fine people.

But then I saw Wild Bluebonnets blathering posts here on Fark..well, you know the rest. Plus, when I drive through Texas I get really weird vibes. Sure I liked the hill country (thats middle Tx, right?) and its pretty and lots of open plains and desert-y looking stuff in the western part, but...Meh. I get weird vibes there. I did not get the same in California, Oregon, or even Washington state and god KNOWS there are lots of weirdos there.

On second thought, Oregon did give me weird vibes, especially around Medford. Maybe its the elevation (its way up there, at least 2000 feet, isnt it? Its (as they say there) hella high. Yes, they say hella. You would too if you were all gacked out on the 497 different kinds of Chronic in the PNW).


Last summer my friend's cousin from North California came to Austin and she said "hella" every other sentence. I wanted to punch her in the throat after a couple hours of listening to her blab on about how the fruit leather they get there is hella better than the fruit leather they sell here.
 
2008-05-17 10:26:57 PM
Hempmonkey: AdamK: Hempmonkey: Saborlas: And thus we begin to understand why Texas let Dubya into public office: the word "solution" does not mean what they think it means.

It simply amazes me how bad everyone lives seem to be because of George Bush. I don't neccessarily like the guy, but why does so many people on FARK bring him up in a subject that has nothing to do with him? I feel sorry for you Saborlas.....your life must really suck.

because dubya's suck is so great, so epic, that it consumes everything

OK Guys....come on....I want to hear exactly how George Bush being president has affected your life so bad. And I can't wait to hear everyone say the economy, or gas prices, your job, or whatever. And I can't wait to hear the first one that truly honestly thinks that He was the only person in Washington that put us in Iraq. Go back to Government class and learn how it works.


Ok, its not him. Its his administration and how they line up to lick his and the VPs butt clean. When the real numbers of just how much we are in the hole come out, then we will get an idea of the amount of damage done. They wont even tell us how much money is being printed, right? That cant be good, since every dollar being printed just means the one in your pocket buys less.

I dont know about you, but when gas is $2.00 more than early 2000, something is very wrong. Everything that comes out of W's mouth is the exact opposite of what he intends, or what happens. No child left behind? ALL children left behind. Clean air? More pollution! Thats how I see it, anyway. Hes a farking crook.

If only this country was founded on revolution (and not stocked with folks afraid of their own shadows).

Divided we fail.
 
2008-05-17 10:30:45 PM
T-Luv: elffster: I have met nice Texans, they were fine people.

But then I saw Wild Bluebonnets blathering posts here on Fark..well, you know the rest. Plus, when I drive through Texas I get really weird vibes. Sure I liked the hill country (thats middle Tx, right?) and its pretty and lots of open plains and desert-y looking stuff in the western part, but...Meh. I get weird vibes there. I did not get the same in California, Oregon, or even Washington state and god KNOWS there are lots of weirdos there.

On second thought, Oregon did give me weird vibes, especially around Medford. Maybe its the elevation (its way up there, at least 2000 feet, isnt it? Its (as they say there) hella high. Yes, they say hella. You would too if you were all gacked out on the 497 different kinds of Chronic in the PNW).

Last summer my friend's cousin from North California came to Austin and she said "hella" every other sentence. I wanted to punch her in the throat after a couple hours of listening to her blab on about how the fruit leather they get there is hella better than the fruit leather they sell here.



North Calif. is its own state, apparently. Called Jefferson, according to the signs on I-5 southbound, somewhere up north of Redding.
PNW folks dont say it ALL the time. Just once in a while when excited. Besides, they are too busy shooting deer in the forehead or stabbing otters with a pitchfork. Them little mountains makes ya get hungry!
 
2008-05-17 10:33:41 PM
DRTFA:
What happened to Austin Powers ??

.....OHHHHHHHHH, Never mind.
 
2008-05-17 10:34:41 PM
I heard Alex Jones and Ron Paul are working on getting it deported.
 
2008-05-17 10:35:37 PM
scottydoesntknow:

Enough of them to get him elected...twice. Now I'll never defend Bush (cause he's an obvious dumbass), but don't rest the blame on Texas. Hell we didn't even spawn him, blame Connecticut for that.

/NYers are too stringy, can't fry those spineless critters.


Honestly, I own a little place on Lake Sam Rayburn, so I've got a bit of Texas in me, too.
 
2008-05-17 10:37:27 PM
JonBuck: You want to know something really funny?

Texas has far surpassed California in wind energy:
2008, total wind generators installed (Source: AWEA (new window))
Texas: Installed: 5,316.65
Under Construction: 1,997.101

California: Installed: 2,483.83
Under Construction: 290.002

Funny how that is.


What is two thousandths of a wind generator?
 
2008-05-17 10:42:21 PM
Ecobuckeye: JonBuck: You want to know something really funny?

Texas has far surpassed California in wind energy:
2008, total wind generators installed (Source: AWEA (new window))
Texas: Installed: 5,316.65
Under Construction: 1,997.101

California: Installed: 2,483.83
Under Construction: 290.002

Some of them straddle the border. These are very precise measurements that should not be questioned by anyone. The American Wind Energy Association doesn't take kindly to critics like you.

Funny how that is.

What is two thousandths of a wind generator?
 
2008-05-17 10:45:36 PM
Ecobuckeye: JonBuck: You want to know something really funny?

Texas has far surpassed California in wind energy:
2008, total wind generators installed (Source: AWEA (new window))
Texas: Installed: 5,316.65
Under Construction: 1,997.101

California: Installed: 2,483.83
Under Construction: 290.002

Funny how that is.

What is two thousandths of a wind generator?


I know this is Fark and everything is usually snarky, but I think
the .0002 is probably a progress estimate on a wind generator currently being built.
 
2008-05-17 10:49:12 PM
www.atariprotos.com
 
2008-05-17 10:58:35 PM
scottydoesntknow: deadapostle: I would have preferred this story if it fit the headline. I'm more impressed by the number of farkers who didn't even bother to check.

THIS.

No mention anywhere of a monster truck addition/more gators.


Dudes. Rule #1 is never let the facts get in the way of a headline.
 
2008-05-17 10:59:57 PM
GORDON: WOW am I growing weary of "the south/midwest/texas is stupid" elitism.

Believe me, even people in the Midwest think Texas is stupid. Actually, pretty much everyone thinks Texas is stupid. It's not elitism so much as it is simply halfway decent observation skills.
 
2008-05-17 11:02:57 PM
The governor is a pretty weak position to have in Texas politics. About the only real power he has is the ability to veto. He is the chief budget officer in name only. He makes a reccomendation to the legislature each year, but they don't have to listen and can do whatever the hell they want regardless of his reccomendation. The lieutenant governor railroad commissioner has more power than him. Most people dont give a damn who is in the governor's seat. It's as close as you can get to a figure head position in Texas politics.

ftfy
 
2008-05-17 11:08:51 PM
No pictures yet?
 
2008-05-17 11:11:42 PM
Sharkface217: No pictures yet?

RTFA, silly.
 
2008-05-17 11:12:18 PM
rambozo: The governor is a pretty weak position to have in Texas politics. About the only real power he has is the ability to veto. He is the chief budget officer in name only. He makes a reccomendation to the legislature each year, but they don't have to listen and can do whatever the hell they want regardless of his reccomendation. The lieutenant governor railroad commissioner has more power than him. Most people dont give a damn who is in the governor's seat. It's as close as you can get to a figure head position in Texas politics.

ftfy



I was so gonna say that in another sentence, but I didn't want it to seem too ranty. Thanks for pointing it out :)
 
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