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(International Education)   Man who was clincally dead for six minutes in a construction accident and then later beat cancer finally dies at the bottom of a golf course pond. This is why you don't play best two out of three with Darwin   (bangornews.com) divider line 84
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14520 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2008 at 11:17 AM (6 years ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2008-05-16 11:42:02 AM  
Why didn't he just open the door and get out?
 
2008-05-16 11:43:03 AM  
The headline made me LOL. Y'all are retarded.
 
2008-05-16 11:45:59 AM  
Submitter:
This is why you don't play best two out of three with Darwineath.

FTFY, as I agree with other comments. It wasn't through stupidity that this guy ended up (or almost ended up) dead/out of the gene pool.
 
2008-05-16 11:48:12 AM  
I just giggle like a 3rd grader whenever I read anything from the "Bangor Daily".

/-heh- Bang her daily!
//Nobody gets me.
 
2008-05-16 11:49:49 AM  
sounds like he failed his save after making it twice
 
2008-05-16 11:51:42 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
Dang, I called Death too late.
 
2008-05-16 11:57:01 AM  
Sooo... according to the photo bi-line, he was drowned shortly after his truck was. "...drowned there Thursday morning after his truck into a pond. (Bangor Daily News/John Clarke Russ)"


Personally, am mourning the poor truck. *sniff*
 
2008-05-16 11:59:10 AM  
So let me get this farked up misinterpretation right...

--Darwin Awards are for removing their genes from the gene pool by some amazingly interesting way.

Guy dies by backing up too far. Meh. Was in 70s, had kids, survived well enough beyond the Stupid gene, if any present.

--Nominees may receive a DA even if they had kids (grandkids?)

Again, made it to his 70s. I think the DA doesn't apply, since he obviously beat his Stupid gene.


*Curses and "Fatal Situation" gene, and possibly "Accident Prone" genes may still be in effect, but no Darwin Award applicable.
 
2008-05-16 11:59:42 AM  
He apparantly was a tremendous slouch.
 
2008-05-16 12:05:33 PM  
Aufdie: Who cares? I don't understand why this is even news to anybody.

Just look the other way and get on with your lives.

When I want to know whether a given rule is stupid I usually look and see who would benefit from strict enforcement of said rule:

Fans: don't get to see the most skillful players so don't go to the games.
KU: doesn't get the best athlete on the court.
Opposing schools: Don't get to compete against the same caliber of athlete and probably have athletes in the same boat anyway. They don't get as many people going to their games either.
Academics: have to pay special attention to a student who doesn't really need or want it.


Wrong thread?
 
2008-05-16 12:24:11 PM  
What? No Happy Gilmore? Don't make me post pics of Bob Barker getting busy.
 
2008-05-16 12:41:32 PM  
So Cancer is considered a darwin death? Submitter, you're a dumbass.
 
2008-05-16 12:42:53 PM  
pixdaus.com
 
2008-05-16 12:44:31 PM  
img91.imageshack.us
 
2008-05-16 12:49:56 PM  
thatguyfred: Should read: In other news, the damn neighbors cat dropped a duece in my Porsche again. farking cat, I farking hate that damn cat.

And thats todays memo.


Who says you can't train a cat?

/Not Obscure in the least...
 
2008-05-16 12:50:20 PM  
It was just his time...again.
 
2008-05-16 12:58:58 PM  
The Condoleezza Rice Temple Rub: Is getting hit by a car while walking considered a "motor vehicle accident" or a "pedestrian accident"? Because if it's a motor vehicle accident, what is a pedestrian accident? Walking into something? If it is, I don't like those odds...
 
2008-05-16 01:03:07 PM  
I have flatlined twice in my entire life.

/come on, number three.
//come get you some.
 
2008-05-16 01:05:26 PM  
When god comes a-callin', best answer the phone.
 
2008-05-16 01:17:14 PM  
i25.tinypic.com
 
2008-05-16 01:19:06 PM  
The 19th Hole
by Stephen King

Carl considered himself lucky. He had beat cancer That's how the people who don't have cancer put it. "You survived a treatment for a disease that will probably kill you." That's what they should say.

A few years before, he had been declared dead for six minutes. During those six minutes a series of numbers flew past his eyes. Turned out, those numbers were the winning lottery numbers. Doctors revived him, he played those numbers and won a tidy 20 million.

So, lucky Carl did what every other white middle aged guy who beat cancer and had a lot of money to burn. He bought a golf course. Not just any golf course; the finest golf course in Maine. He searched the country side far and wide and finally located the perfect parcel. So what if the locals referred to it as the "Cursed land"? Carl was lucky. And when they broke ground for the new club house and they brought up human bones and native american artifacts. Carl just spread some extra money around the construction workers. What the egg heads don't know, won't hurt them, right?

It was an amazing golf course. Designed by the best and spared no expense in seeing his dream come to fruition. At the ribbon cutting, there was that gypsy that cursed him and the security guards had to shoot that rabid St. Bernard but it can't all be peaches and cream, right?

Lucky Carl loved his golf course. He even bought a golf club owned by the origigal golfer himself: Dugger McScottish. He bought it in an out of the way shop called "Needful Things." Paid very little for it too. Carl sure was lucky.

On a beautiful day, Lucky Carl drove his truck he named Christine out to the lake...
 
2008-05-16 01:21:45 PM  
upload.wikimedia.org

don't be img1.fark.net, cause two out of three ain't bad...
 
2008-05-16 01:25:16 PM  
i81icu812: If you play best of 3 with Darwin and only win twice, you still die. Headline wasn't that hard to figure out, folks.

Except that, even if you win 3/3 times you still die.
 
2008-05-16 01:27:19 PM  
Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] Quote 2008-05-16 01:03:07 PM


I have flatlined twice in my entire life.

/come on, number three.
//come get you some.


its only darwination if you could die through your own stupidity and can still pass along your genes. I won't ask in your case.

Dying of cancer is not Darwination, unless you're like Marie Curie, walking around with a hunk of radium in your pocket, inhaling benzene, or bathing in used motor oil for fun. Clearly, drowning in your truck in a golf course pond qualifies.

So I would say this guy's story is that "Death unable to score a basket in two tries, finally brings Darwin off the bench for a win!"
 
2008-05-16 01:29:06 PM  
Animatronik: Sarcastica75 [TotalFark] Quote 2008-05-16 01:03:07 PM


I have flatlined twice in my entire life.

/come on, number three.
//come get you some.


its only darwination if you could die through your own stupidity and can still pass along your genes. I won't ask in your case.

Dying of cancer is not Darwination, unless you're like Marie Curie, walking around with a hunk of radium in your pocket, inhaling benzene, or bathing in used motor oil for fun. Clearly, drowning in your truck in a golf course pond qualifies.

So I would say this guy's story is that "Death unable to score a basket in two tries, finally brings Darwin off the bench for a win!"



Darwin was not involved in either of my two cases.

/hmm, perhaps I should do some quick reading.
 
2008-05-16 01:44:43 PM  
i20.photobucket.com
 
2008-05-16 02:02:31 PM  
Did he have kids? If not, then...well, yeah. But even if he did, he doesn't beat Darwin if his offspring end up retarded or defective or dying off because of something passed on in the DNA. Darwin works on the macro level.
 
2008-05-16 02:10:24 PM  
Dire: Did he have kids? If not, then...well, yeah. But even if he did, he doesn't beat Darwin if his offspring end up retarded or defective or dying off because of something passed on in the DNA. Darwin works on the macro level.

Please go back and read the link in my previous post regarding offspring and their relevance in the Darwin Awards.
 
2008-05-16 02:11:50 PM  
Aufdie: I don't understand why this is even news to anybody.

It's NOT news, it's FARK.com
 
2008-05-16 05:20:07 PM  
His 1970s accident sounds like it may have inspired King's Duma Key
 
2008-05-16 05:38:09 PM  
I came in here for the Falling Down references and was very disappointed.

/Yeah, and now you're gonna die, wearing that stupid little hat!
//How does it feel?!
 
2008-05-16 06:49:46 PM  
Well geez. He obviously had GREAT luck...

Who does that? Who beats cancers ass and then dies in the bottom of a pond??
 
2008-05-16 07:06:59 PM  
schmack: Yeah, cuz even if Darwin wins only one out of three, you still lose.

Couldn't have said it better myself
 
2008-05-16 07:53:30 PM  
2/3 isn't so bad. Bad luck to his family though.
 
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