FARK.com: (3608237) TFer was attacked by several large ducks. They broke the skin with their biting\pecking. Do they carry any diseases I need to seek medical help for? They all got away

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		TFer was attacked by several large ducks. They broke the skin with their biting\pecking. Do they carry any diseases I need to seek medical help for? They all got away (google.com)		612
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6121 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2008 at 11:43 PM | Favorite | share:

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CaptainSmartass		2008-05-16 12:43:38 AM

I can't believe no one has yet mentioned the dreaded curse of the wereduck. You will be doomed to wander the ponds of the earth for all eternity, hiding among the water grass and emerging only to eat bread crumbs floating on the water. Only by finding the original wereduck and killing it with a silver-coated boot heel will you ever be free from your torment.

/Just wanted to use "doomed" in a post.
//And to suggest stomping a duck to death.
///Nice visual there for PETA members.

Frank N Stein		2008-05-16 12:43:51 AM

I don't know if its been said here yet, but swans are some mean sonsabiatches. When I was 5, a daddy swan got all pissy because I went near its young.

My great grandmother came out and straightend that asshole swan up real quick.

/nothing like a 90 year old women shaking her walker at a duck and swearing in Italian.

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:43:56 AM

Oddly enough the episode of Boston Legal involved a duck as one of the subplots

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:44:24 AM

Semper Gumby: He's joking. ;)

I know, I've noticed him, but this is on the green side so we may as well be nice and explain things for those who might be reading and decide our company is worth paying for :)

I use lots of smileys when I'm on the liter side...

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:44:37 AM

Aar1012: Oddly enough the episode of Boston Legal I am watching right now involved a duck as one of the subplots

I hate when I skip an important part of a sentence.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:45:25 AM

Frank N Stein: I don't know if its been said here yet, but swans are some mean sonsabiatches. When I was 5, a daddy swan got all pissy because I went near its young.

My great grandmother came out and straightend that asshole swan up real quick.

/nothing like a 90 year old women shaking her walker at a duck and swearing in Italian.

Gilmore Girls had a swan attack episode... also the french guy, Michel, was terrified of swans...

Hmm.... Gilmore Girls dvds don't sound terrible right now...

mamoru		2008-05-16 12:46:15 AM

Genevieve Marie: You're telling me. It's cool, I volunteer to be nice to you. (Unless you say something retarded of course, than I have to point and laugh. I don't make the rules.)

No worries.

BTW, just so the intent of my earlier statement is not misunderstood, by asking if there are other parts of TF, I meant other than TFD.

I practically live there, though I lurk more often than not. I wish it weren't so slow at night (my daytime), though. Yesterday, there was NOTHING from 02h00 to 05h00. :o

Aulus		2008-05-16 12:46:40 AM

In other news:
Link (new window)

katastrophe		2008-05-16 12:46:49 AM

Semper Gumby: Shh, I was pretending to be an over-the-hill stick in the mud who can dish out insults all day but can't take them worth a damn.

GOLLY.

Semper Gumby, you're in your early 20s. You are so YOUNG. Therefore, you possess no knowledge and are completely inferior to my aging, sagging, divorcée ass. How dare you talk like you know anything! You're not an expert. It takes years of being a lazy trophy wife to become as knowledgeable as I am!

/Oh, man. Yeah, I'm quite happy there is an "ignore" feature. :)

FarkInfested		2008-05-16 12:46:54 AM

subby will be a headline tomorrow..

Frank N Stein		2008-05-16 12:47:19 AM

Genevieve Marie: Gilmore Girls had a swan attack episode... also the french guy, Michel, was terrified of swans...

Hmm.... Gilmore Girls dvds don't sound terrible right now...

Yes, but were the swans scared off by an old Italian lady who's husband worked for Al Capone?

Not Bob		2008-05-16 12:47:48 AM

I've been attacked my geese twice. The first time, I was about 4 and at the lake with my family. I asked my mother if I could have a baby goose to take home. She said, sure, if you can catch it. I made my move to the baby and the mom and dad chased me back to the picnic table and proceeded to attack the whole family. We all had to hide in the cab of the truck until they left.

The second time was while working community service at the zoo. I kicked one of them into the lake to get it off me and was "fired". They sent me to work at the Humane Society instead.

Geese are dicks.

drkdstryer		2008-05-16 12:47:49 AM

Oh wow I'm glad I clicked on this thread. Unreal funny.

Toshiro Mifune's Letter Opener: submitter: They all got away

I would like to take a break from this pun war to say that the phrase "They all got away" made me laugh like a mofo.

I'm STILL laughing at this!

LineNoise		2008-05-16 12:47:50 AM

Frank N Stein: I don't know if its been said here yet, but swans are some mean sonsabiatches. When I was 5, a daddy swan got all pissy because I went near its young.

I have to deal with the friggin canadian geese on my golf course. At least then though I both expect an attack, and am armed with a nice iron.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:48:11 AM

mamoru: I practically live there, though I lurk more often than not. I wish it weren't so slow at night (my daytime), though. Yesterday, there was NOTHING from 02h00 to 05h00. :o

No worries.

BTW, just so the intent of my earlier statement is not misunderstood, by asking if there are other parts of TF, I meant other than TFD.

I practically live there, though I lurk more often than not. I wish it weren't so slow at night (my daytime), though. Yesterday, there was NOTHING from 02h00 to 05h00. :o

I'm an insomniac, and have been accused of never sleeping as I can generally be found on fark any times between 8:30am- 3am central. I leave and be social in real life from time to time, but let's face it, it's not easy keeping my post count high. It takes dedication.

IMDWalrus		2008-05-16 12:48:39 AM

yagottabefarkinkiddinme: Link (Duck Attack)

Something like this?

You wandered too close to their duck training facility.

Any idea where that clip is from? It seems British to me.

FarkInfested: subby will be a headline tomorrow..

Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but isn't he a headline now?

yourhighness		2008-05-16 12:49:04 AM

OMG, I almost missed the chance to post this.

Warning, this shiat may make you piss your pants laughing.
SFW - DUCK!

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:49:17 AM

Frank N Stein: Yes, but were the swans scared off by an old Italian lady who's husband worked for Al Capone?

Good point.

drkdstryer		2008-05-16 12:49:18 AM

Aar1012: Genevieve Marie: not that I've ever paid for it.

Someone's not getting reup'ed next month.

I guess you missed that thread.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:50:00 AM

drkdstryer: I guess you missed that thread.

Which one are you talking about?

toejam		2008-05-16 12:50:03 AM

insomnia sucks

hyperflame		2008-05-16 12:50:08 AM

LineNoise: ok...brief synopsis as I keep getting distracted over here.

Since he was a puppy, my dog has been afraid of ducks. When he was a puppy I had him at a lake, and there was a mommy duck and a bunch of little ducks. Being a curious puppy he ran up to them, and the duck, naturally protecting the little ducks, went after him. Being a small puppy, he got his ass kicked.

So dispite the fact he is no longer a small puppy, he is very afriad of ducks. He gets really unsettled if he sees them, and will try and go the other way.

So they finished this new development by my house that has this nice riverfront walkway area. I figured it was nice out, so I would take him on his walk down there to check it out. We get there, and low and behold, there are some ducks.

So of course he doesn't want to go by them, but I figure enough is enough, I don't want my dog to be a wuss, so I'll force him to go to the ducks, so he will see they will just run away.

So I am kind of dragging him by his leash to the ducks. There were maybe a half dozen or so of them. they were kind of giving us a wide berth, naturally, and i figured my plan was working. clearly the dog would see the ducks were afraid of him.

Well, maybe there were ducklings around I didn't see. or a duck nest (do ducks even have nests?), but for whatever reason the ducks figured they had enough of my little social conditioning experiment and came at us. Attacked is a strong word, maybe swarmed is a bit better, but I was pecked\bit in the legs a few times, and one got a shot in at my arm. They chased me maybe a good 20 feet or so. I think they got a shot or two in on the dog as well.

And that folks, is my duck story.

I LOLed so hard I'm going to break a rib or something.

Anyway, I would take a gun, and your dog, to the same place. Get your dog to stay a short distance away, then walk in and shoot some of the ducks. Then prepare and serve the dog and yourself some duck. Mmm mmm good.

PastryChef		2008-05-16 12:50:21 AM

What does the quantum duck say?
Quark Quark quark!
And what's with all the little boxes everywhere?

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:50:34 AM

drkdstryer: Aar1012: Genevieve Marie: not that I've ever paid for it.

Someone's not getting reup'ed next month.

I guess you missed that thread.

Sometimes threads fall through the cracks, too bad I'm not Lewis Black.

Frank N Stein		2008-05-16 12:50:59 AM

So whos going to front the bill for reupping subby's subscription? This quacky thread will go down in the history of the web.

mamoru		2008-05-16 12:51:16 AM

LineNoise: I have to deal with the friggin canadian geese on my golf course. At least then though I both expect an attack, and am armed with a nice iron.

If ever there were a call for pre-emptive action, this is it. Canadian Geese are EVIL!!! Even Napoleon and Hitler would think twice about attacking Canada because of the geese. They'd rather go for (and lose in) Russia.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:51:19 AM

toejam: insomnia sucks

You should join TF and come play with us over there. It helps.

KarmicDisaster		2008-05-16 12:51:33 AM

you think that's bad, I once bit a turducken.

Praetorius		2008-05-16 12:52:12 AM

Pics or it didn't happen...

And using Fark for medical advice? I guess it's only a matter of time before we see "TFer experiencing chest pains. Is this a good thing?"

emilyblake		2008-05-16 12:52:28 AM

Ducks have a real attitude problem anyway. I used to live in a duck filled neighborhood and they used to wait and watch you come down the street, then right as you get to their territory they all start to cross the street together, using their geese buddies as guards, squawking and quaking and stopping in the middle to let you know who's boss.

They're f*cks, man.

halfwaytoheaven		2008-05-16 12:52:52 AM

Jersey ducks, you say?

img80.imageshack.us

Would have posted this earlier, but I blacked out for a little there.

toejam		2008-05-16 12:53:19 AM

Genevieve Marie: toejam: insomnia sucks

You should join TF and come play with us over there. It helps.

Yeah, I never get around to doing that. Someone sponsored me for a month, but I guess I didn't realize that TFD was there. I guess I don't because I should be doing other things that are more productive.

kingMountain		2008-05-16 12:53:23 AM

MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!!!

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:53:27 AM

Genevieve Marie: toejam: insomnia sucks

You should join TF and come play with us over there. It helps.

All the cool kids are doing it.

ThisIsNotSubtle		2008-05-16 12:53:34 AM

Praetorius: Pics or it didn't happen...

And using Fark for medical advice? I guess it's only a matter of time before we see "TFer experiencing chest pains. Is this a good thing?"

I think more than a few of us are, in fact, suffering chest pain and shortness of breath after reading this thread.

Semper Gumby		2008-05-16 12:54:20 AM

emilyblake: Ducks have a real attitude problem anyway. I used to live in a duck filled neighborhood and they used to wait and watch you come down the street, then right as you get to their territory they all start to cross the street together, using their geese buddies as guards, squawking and quaking and stopping in the middle to let you know who's boss.

They're f*cks, man.

Ravens and bald eagles get into tussles here. The ravens will gang up on eagles, that's just not cool.

Although our grand and noble national emblem is really just a dumpster-diving brute, gang warfare is rude.

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:54:31 AM

Praetorius: Pics or it didn't happen...

And using Fark for medical advice? I guess it's only a matter of time before we see "TFer experiencing chest pains. ~~Is this a good thing?~~ am I going to die?"

FTFY

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:54:48 AM

Praetorius: And using Fark for medical advice? I guess it's only a matter of time before we see "TFer experiencing chest pains. Is this a good thing?"

We've seen it. Multiple times. I can think of at least three off hand.

Semper Gumby		2008-05-16 12:55:36 AM

Praetorius: "TFer experiencing chest pains. Is this a good thing?"

We already had that thread. I'm not sure that TFer is around anymore. Not because of his heart, because he was a farking retard.

mamoru		2008-05-16 12:55:36 AM

emilyblake: They're f*cks, man.

I knew there was a reason why 'F' and 'D' are right next to each other on a QWERTY keyboard. ;)

Frank N Stein		2008-05-16 12:55:50 AM

kingMountain: MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!!!

If the admins really wanted to fark with us, they'd green an AW thread.

drkdstryer		2008-05-16 12:55:57 AM

Genevieve Marie: Which one are you talking about?

The one you lost your subscription in the middle of : P

Sorry, GM, I like you and all, but that thread was HILARIOUS.

Aar1012		2008-05-16 12:56:55 AM

Frank N Stein: kingMountain: MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING!!!!

If the admins really wanted to fark with us, they'd green an AW thread.

I can imagine the Friday night ToD showing up here.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:57:40 AM

drkdstryer: Genevieve Marie: Which one are you talking about?

The one you lost your subscription in the middle of : P

Sorry, GM, I like you and all, but that thread was HILARIOUS.

That thread was freaking awesome and you better believe I enjoyed every second of it :) Did you notice the emblem from the "Welcome back AW" thread got added to my profile? Plus my subscription ran out and I got reupped in 7 minutes, which is pretty damn good.

katastrophe		2008-05-16 12:57:44 AM

Frank N Stein: If the admins really wanted to fark with us, they'd green an AW thread.

I'm not sure whether hilarity would ensue, or if you'd end up with a thread filled only with broken images within 5 minutes. Hrm.

kingMountain		2008-05-16 12:58:06 AM

Frank N Stein: If the admins really wanted to fark with us, they'd green an AW thread.

i would pay an extra $5 for that.

IMDWalrus		2008-05-16 12:58:17 AM

yourhighness: OMG, I almost missed the chance to post this.

Warning, this shiat may make you piss your pants laughing.
SFW - DUCK!

That's a goose.

There's a group of Canadian geese that live outside of my apartment in the fall. Beyond crapping on everything, those farkers are evil - they'll block off the sidewalks and hiss at you, and start to go after you.

After this thread and that video, I'm actually a bit afraid to go back now.

Genevieve Marie		2008-05-16 12:58:51 AM

Frank N Stein: If the admins really wanted to fark with us, they'd green an AW thread.

That would be fantastic.

Although they wouldn't get half of it probably.